Finding someone like me

My spouse and I are nothing alike. Don't dismiss anyone who thinks you are amazing.

I completely agree with everything you said reddragon. I agree that relationships require communication and compromise. I can't see myself even going on a date with anyone "mainstream" and I don't think it would work out with anyone who isn't as open minded as I consider myself to be. Then there is the issue of finding a man who would love me because I'm me and not because of the way I look physically. I'm not ugly or anything I just don't do anything to try to look like the mainstream's definition of a beautiful woman. Are there men in this world seeking a woman with a beautiful mind or their soul mate regardless of what she may look like? I would chew off my right arm to be loved by a man who can see the beauty of my inner self above all else. Do men that don't place any importance on looks exist? That is what I consider sexy. Someone so spiritually evolved that he knows how to love a woman based on who she is, not what she looks like.

That's my problem. I'm having trouble finding anyone who thinks I'm amazing and I won't settle for anything less (I wish I had the same requirement when I was younger).a reply to: kosmicjack

I feel the same way. Im too deep combined with a sense of humor, not a good mix. Id like to hear some stuff about You, location, likes, interests etc.

When I was a member of saloon society I found a woman very much into my lifestyle of drugs, alcohol and playing the blues.

I feel fortunate to have made it out of that relationship alive but her singing and keyboards made it all worthwhile....at the time.

a reply to: tomatosoup

Youre looking at it wrong. You need someone who COMPLIMENTS your personality. Opposites attract, you know? You want someone who shares your interests, and brings some new variables to the relationship so you both benefit and grow as a couple.

You really dont want to find someone like yourself, but one who shares some common points, and you both together bring something new and exciting in!

Good luck! Theyre out there!

I would imagine that men are far less likely to care about your conspiracy views, you just have to find someone who isn't as long term conditioned as the rest of them.

Being a guy that knows nothing but rabbits & the holes they dig, it is much harder to find a woman who shares even the slightest of my viewpoints, not to mention they're most so entrenched in the materialistic status quo that my world views send them running.

Relax, have fun, come what may.

a reply to: Skid Mark

Yep...you are within...uh hhh mmm mm...suffice if to say you could be my son. It (sob sob...weep) wouldn't even be out of the relm of grandkid! Usually when someone wants to know my age I ask them back, "Mentally, physically, emotionally or chronologically?" They're ALL different! When the day comes that they converge, I'll probably be in my way out!;

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus
xD

a reply to: Medicator
I'm 38,and the mother of two little girls who are currently my main focus although I am going to attempt to go out more and meet some new interesting people who I can feel comfortable around. That is a challenge when I prefer deeper conversations to small talk and don't know much about what most people focus on like sports and celebrities etc. That is difficult in NJ where most people like to fit in and not say anything politically incorrect. I've always envisioned myself as a country girl from a small farm who lives miles from any neighbors. That is not how NJ is obviously. I'm into trying new experiences but am a homebody at heart. I wish I could PM you this info but it won't let me. What about you? Tell me about yourself a bit

a reply to: Esoterotica

These are my problems in the dating world. I want to find someone to discuss my conspiracy facts with but they are few and far between. Throw in that I have 2 kids and am not a man's ideal in terms of physical appearance then there is no one within a few thousand miles that would find me to be what their ideal lady is like.

a reply to: tomatosoup

By your logic, I should give up on finding anyone to spend my life with. Why? Because there ARE no other people like me. I occupy a Venn diagram with utterly unique intersection points with the rest of society, that no other human being, ever born to the world correlates with even nearly.

And so do you, and so do we all.

And where your concerns about looks are concerned... Lady, I am a lab accident. I am a Velcro nightmare, hair all over, with utterly unimpressive physique, and I detest facade such that I refuse to work out, instead getting all my exercise from doing actual work, or at play. My grasp of style is such that I both stick out like a sore thumb, and blend into the background with equal ease. I am the most odd looking shadow that has ever been cast. By your metric, I ought to just quit the entire process and continue to drink rum, until I disappear down the drain hole like so much previously enjoyed beverage!

Screw that!

originally posted by: Rubicon3
a reply to: Skid Mark

Oh Skid!! Send me the website address too, please!! It's my birthday and I'd like something nice to show its face today! Does it have a little "older" gentlemen on it as you sound like quite a youngster!!

Thanks Bunches...I hope!!

Happy Naming Day!! It is impossible to put an age on an "Eternal Being" but if I were hazard to guess I'm thinking 31 in 'Earth Years'? (www.ourtime.com)

For the OP 'Tommy Soup' What kind of things do You enjoy doing? The reason I inquire is once the would-be suitors (plural as We are going to work on Your "Attraction Aura" and it'll attract like minded individuals) And because You'll be enjoying the thing(s) You'll be doing, the suitors will see You as You really are, so no need to put on 'false fronts' and end up doing crap You don't enjoy furthering the opposite of the pursuit of happiness but "going along w/the problem".

Of course, KNOW THIS: Nobody or no thing will be able to make You "happy" ONLY You have that power..


If You respond to this can You please list Your "ecological niche" as well? Where You live along with what it is You enjoy doing.. I'd certainly wouldn't set someone up and they have less than a "good time"...

namaste

P.S. Let Your Love flow....

After our 30's, I think most on both gender sides pretty much value looks less and less.

I would suggest just doing things you enjoy, and meeting people through those activities, so you at least know you like the same things.

However, dating sites can certainly be a help, and cut down on the guess work. As long as you approach it right. You're probably going to reel in some trash fish until you get a keeper, in other words, but you have to know WHAT you want first, to know you FOUND it...

My own credentials, happily married guy for 12 years now (first and only marriage, because I was smart enough to get married in my 30's).

I don't think anyone could handle living with me besides my husband. If anything happened to him today, I know I'd be alone the rest of my life. Besides interest in some fringe topics and conspiracies, I've got alien abduction type memories, experiences with stuff like telepathy, communication with animals, and with the deceased.
I also used to dig in the trash as a kid (and still can't help looking when I pass a large bin with a lot of stuff in/around it, though I refrain from touching).

That's enough crazy to make any man run away as fast as he can!

I was pretty sure I was going to stay single at the time I met him, and I could say it was a lucky fluke.... except I think my mom actually had a lot to do with it.

She was looking for an au pair to help her with my little half brother, and had an agency send her files to choose from. She had requested a french male specifically. She was reading the descriptions to me, and when she read that of my current husband, I replied, "Whatever you do, don't choose that one! He sounds bizarre!"

Of course , that was the one she chose, and the day he arrived, I had a message on my answering machine (something we had back then, before cell phones) from her saying excitedly, "Wait until you see him! He is TOTALLY your type!"
(which he was, and I fell the moment I saw him)

But what really stuck with me about that was the idea that who we will really click with, physically and emotionally, sometimes has NOTHING at all to do with what our intellect tells us we want or will appreciate in a mate. If he'd had a written description of me (like I put above) he also would have said, "no way, she sounds crazy!"
In real life, those details take on a different light within the context of that whole person.



Makes me think that is what the problem is in searching actively, and why it so often happens that you find them exactly when you aren't looking.

and as a footnote- years later I found out he was a trash digger as a kid too, and also has a thing about recuperation of old objects, to create stuff as I do.

It was only 7 years ago (in a 24 year marriage) that we discovered we were both secret preppers! He'd been stocking one cave, me another. We had each been too embarrassed to tell the other. It was hilarious when we found out!

a reply to: tomatosoup

They exist. Just be patient.

a reply to: tomatosoup

I was single for 8 years and then met him unexpectedly in an unlikely place when I wasnt looking. And he is definitely on the same level of "crazy" lol
They are out there. Dont try so hard
Oh and you may wanna change that mind set of preparing yourself to be alone for the rest of your life, that certainly wont help
*hugs*

originally posted by: tomatosoup
I can't see myself even going on a date with anyone "mainstream" and I don't think it would work out with anyone who isn't as open minded as I consider myself to be.

Do see the contradiction in this line?
You dont think it would work out with anyone as opened minded as you consider yourself to be.
To me when you start talking in absolutes about someone you have not met yet then maybe you should rethink what open minded is...