Finding someone like me

Okay, I've been officially divorced for 6 years and only dated one other person for 3 months as a rebound. Ever since then I've sort of come to accept the fact that it would be close to impossible for me to find someone that has the same or very similar mindset that I have come to acquire. I have sort of subconsciencelly mentally prepared myself to be alone for the rest of my life. I feel that I am so far down the rabbit hole that I wouldn't be able to date anyone who isn't as far gone as I am or at least truly given in to truth seeking no matter how bad it turns out to be. I then really thought about losing my parents and my kids growing up and really facing the truth of being alone. I didn't like how that looked at all.

I guess my goal and point of this post is to ask others about the circumstances of how you found someone who was on the same level of "crazy" that you are on, someone who you could relate to and vice versa. I am at the point where I know in my heart that I could never make something work with someone who hasn't woken up on any level and doesn't show any signs of doing so in the near future.

I suppose I'm also wondering how I should approach finding some men to date with the same mindset as myself. I don't see Tinder working for me so are there any alternative online dating resources or suggestions that anyone may have for me? Where to begin? How to approach this?

a reply to: tomatosoup
I found mine through a dating site. Oddly enough, she has a sense of humor every bit as messed up as mine; which is something that I thought was impossible. Keep looking.

ETA: I sent you a u2u. I hope you don't mind. I didn't want to derail your thread.

a reply to: tomatosoup

I didn't.

I simply came to the conclusion of, someone that loves my crazy and I theirs is close enough and she is my souls mate.

Everything else is love understanding and compromise.

But then I want to love someone that strengthens my weakness, and I can do the same.

My advise is find a complimentary spirit, not one that is similar. You'll be more content of that I'm certain.

Cheers

And luck on the road.

a reply to: Skid Mark
I'm curious as to what dating site seeing how they all seem to be free with many fees. :3 As to the OP, I'm not sure how one finds love. In my experience, the best way is by not looking. Somehow...that works, don't know how, but I won't question it. Just hope it works again.

Thank God I didn't find someone like me, I would have shot them. Twice.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus
Well...then if they were like you they might have ended up shooting you first....twice

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Thank God I didn't find someone like me...

No kidding. I don't think the world could take it.

originally posted by: Tiamat384
Well...then if they were like you they might have ended up shooting you first....twice

I think that is called a Mexican Standoff.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus
I wonder who'd win. Or would both lose :p If it makes you happy I'm sure ATS roots for you.

a reply to: Tiamat384
The site I went to is completely free. If you want I'll send it to you in u2u.

originally posted by: Tiamat384
I'm curious as to what dating site seeing how they all seem to be free with many fees.

He used Sugarddadyforme.com. Free for the chickies. Him, not so much.

originally posted by: Tiamat384
I wonder who'd win. Or would both lose :p If it makes you happy I'm sure ATS roots for you.

We would both be dead and mutual recipients of the Nobel Peace Prize for doing the world a great favor.

a reply to: tomatosoup

I am at the point where I know in my heart that I could never make something work with someone who hasn't woken up on any level and doesn't show any signs of doing so in the near future.

After the same amount of time after my first 20 year marraige I was feeling the same way. I put an advert in the local alternate paper and met a gal who was quite different from my 'dreams' but by then I was so horny I gave her a toss. Then I found out that really, she was giving me a toss. Over a couple of weeks of 'tossing' I came to realize that my definition of 'awake' was different from hers but that the fun connection we had found through our 'tossing' was enough to let me understand that all of my awareness was not worth letting her go. And at the same time she found that all of my stupid 'awareness' was not enough to let me go either. That was 19 years ago and here we both are, crazy about each other.

So my advice is toss it. Take all your awareness, all your 'being awake' and toss it. Find someone who you like being with on any number of other levels. Your 'awareness will still be there. You don't need to find some one exactly on your own intellectual level, rather on the same emotional level, the same level of loyalty and level of trust. I still find it interesting how people, even as different as my wife and I are, how how happy we can be together.

a reply to: Skid Mark
Sure, please do so. So many of those sites are "free" except for seeing pictures or messaging or reading messages...it's almost funny.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus
Ah, well what a relief. As evil as you may be, and your hypothetical partner too, your food (hope I'm not confusing members here) will be missed. And so perhaps you are a necessary evil, for the sake of food.

a reply to: Skid Mark

Oh Skid!! Send me the website address too, please!! It's my birthday and I'd like something nice to show its face today! Does it have a little "older" gentlemen on it as you sound like quite a youngster!!

Thanks Bunches...I hope!!

I think the best thing for you to do is not look. In my experience, that's when things happen, when you least expect it from a direction you never thought of. It's almost as if not looking creates a path to you.

a reply to: Rubicon3
Happy birthday!
I sent it to you. Good luck. I think there's a little of everything.

That depends on what you call a youngster. I'm 43.

a reply to: tomatosoup

I think most people make the mistake of looking for someone like them; instead I think people should ask, what makes me me? and why is it impossible for me to change? After you contemplate these things, you will realize there is no such thing as a personality or you as the way you see yourself. We as people are not refine into one person as people may think. And that it is possible to change and learn new experiences. become someone totally different. It is possible to live many life in one lifetime, yet people chooses not too. They try to hold onto "themselves".

One doesn't simply find someone that matches, but one must grow and change to make the match perfectly. Just like a tree growing it's root after time. No one try to find or dig a massive hole to fit all the roots, but instead grows into the ground and into each other. Trust me, it is possible to change who your are and be very happy. accept changes is the best advice I can give. Embrace it. You don't have to find the perfect person to have a perfect relationship, as long as you both are willing to change and grow together.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus


Thank God I didn't find someone like me, I would have shot them. Twice.

I guess what I should have said is someone who understands me rather than is like me. Someone who thinks like I do but doesn't necessarily have the same personality.