Why does life become so boring, meaningless and dreadful the older you get???

I don't get it. I was watching a skateboarding video from the 80's that really got me thinking. Like it dawned on me that when you're younger life is SO MUCH MORE FUN. Like everyday is exciting. Everything is just amazing. Life is worth living. You're passionate about things and people. But as you get older, well, you basically give up. Everything becomes boring, meaningless, dull, tiring, hopeless, stressful, and you almost like go into survival mode.

Like is this normal???

I mean I still try for things and try and do things and enjoy life. But really for the most part there's no joy, no love, no happiness, no hope, no excitment, no authentic fun. It's more or less that you do things out of habits, or whats' familiar to you. Like life is hardly even worth getting out of bed for once you're older. And I'm only in my middle years. I hate to imagine when you're really old and you've had a tone of tragities happen, lots of deaths of close people, lots of pain problems and decease in your body, lots of shattered dreams and career failures, etc etc. Like how would a person deal with all that? But ya it's just totally amazing how miserable life gets the older you get. I just don't get it. Or is it just me? Like I mean, where's the joy, happiness, genuine love, meaning, and hope when you're older?

Just wonder if there's anyway to actually get passionate about life again??? Sometimes feels more like a prison than it does a blessing anymore.

Or am I wrong?

In a nutshell, because they've seen it all before.

Nothing new under the sun,

can't get fooled again.

a reply to: lavatrance

It doesn't have to....

I lost my retirement during the o8 crash and was forced to go back to work.

Having a blast !

a reply to: lavatrance

I can't say that you are wrong because it's how you feel.... but I would say its the opposite for me. Over the years I've built a career, married a great broad, have a great kid and while sometimes a particular day may be dull (like today for example... as shown by me being on this site today), overall things are pretty great.

It's all a matter of perspective and what you make of it.

originally posted by: lavatrance
I don't get it. I was watching a skateboarding video from the 80's that really got me thinking. Like it dawned on me that when you're younger life is SO MUCH MORE FUN. Like everyday is exciting. Everything is just amazing. Life is worth living. You're passionate about things and people. But as you get older, well, you basically give up. Everything becomes boring, meaningless, dull, tiring, hopeless, stressful, and you almost like go into survival mode.

Like is this normal???

I mean I still try for things and try and do things and enjoy life. But really for the most part there's no joy, no love, no happiness, no hope, no excitment, no authentic fun. It's more or less that you do things out of habits, or whats' familiar to you. Like life is hardly even worth getting out of bed for once you're older. And I'm only in my middle years. I hate to imagine when you're really old and you've had a tone of tragities happen, lots of deaths of close people, lots of pain problems and decease in your body, lots of shattered dreams and career failures, etc etc. Like how would a person deal with all that? But ya it's just totally amazing how miserable life gets the older you get. I just don't get it. Or is it just me? Like I mean, where's the joy, happiness, genuine love, meaning, and hope when you're older?

Just wonder if there's anyway to actually get passionate about life again??? Sometimes feels more like a prison than it does a blessing anymore.

Or am I wrong?

Simple answer, you are wrong.

With that said, childhood can be a phenomenal time. Unfortunately, as you get older, you mature and realize that unless you are born with a silver spoon in your mouth, you have to get out and earn a living. With that comes other responsibilities like working which takes time away from doing other more enriching things.

However, as you get older, you do mature so the things you like change. I've picked up new hobbies. I can travel and see things I couldn't afford to do when I was a teenager. Also, as children come into your life, you also start to gain enjoyment from seeing them enjoying the things you did as a child.

It isn't any worse as you get older, just different.

You're probably just experiencing some depression. Depression is partially a mental issue, but it does create some differences in brain functioning. You become disinterested in things, find little point in hobbies you used to enjoy, etc. do a quick google on the effects of depression and self assess, see if you might need a bit of help.

As far as life and interest goes.

I have a puppy. it is currently in the super explosive excitment phase, biting and curious about everything, etc...eventually once it is familiar with things it will be less spastic and learn to calm. as it gets older, it finds its comfortable habits..same with people. as we get older, we become more familiar with things, find our pattern, and voila..suddenly the world is far less interesting than when we were a puppy/kid and needed to explore everything.

I recommend a hobby..a complex hobby that changes a lot.
Back when I was in my teens, I decided gaming would be my hobby..not just like find a game I like and forever have that nearby, but rather invest in knowing the latest about gaming, which also means knowing about platforms, seeing where gaming is going, which companies are players, what new events are coming up, conventions, etc.
Now I am actively researching which headset has the most potential and looking up cameras to see how easy it would be to make live virtual reality webcam, etc..its exciting because it is always new, gaming and tech is forever changing rapidly and because I chose that hobby, I always have a sort of puppys view there.

If I had no hobbies that were evolving, I would be bored dull and no doubt cynical. You make your own views though. good luck.

originally posted by: lavatrance
Just wonder if there's anyway to actually get passionate about life again??? Sometimes feels more like a prison than it does a blessing anymore.

Or am I wrong?

Cheer up! You just haven't hit your stride yet. I didn't find life much worth living until I hit my 30's. Now, I'm filled with gratitude every single day that I never decided to end it or just give up and join a convent or something.

I don't have an answer for you but I DO agree. I'm almost 50 yrs old, work 60+ hours a week (and have for years) and never seem to get ahead. Every day is a chore, nothing ever seems to go in my favor, and I am constantly knocked down while I watch others move ahead. Most days it seems pointless to get out of bed although it's necessary just to try to make ends meet. I've been hit on, spit on, sh#t on, f#cked with, and pointed at for so long it has become the norm. All I want is a break, just one lucky break without the inevitable knockdown to follow, to give me the will to carry on and not the obligation to carry on

a reply to: lavatrance

Just wonder if there's anyway to actually get passionate about life again??? Sometimes feels more like a prison than it does a blessing anymore.

Or am I wrong?

It all depends on your frame of mind.....
and your age and experience.

You have to remember how to act like a kid at the same time you are being responsible. Are you a parent yet?
When you become an 'engaged' parent, you remember what it's like to play, to get excited about how a light switch changes the view, or to roll a ball or throw a frisbee with each other, about fresh peaches picked right off the tree, and watching ants, and building campfires, and exploring caves, and fishing, and picking out the perfect tree for Christmas from a guy who grows them....... and coloring with nice sharp pencils.....and doing puzzles..........and growing veggies and flowers......and shooting hoops....

.....How to enjoy life......

my son turns 25 next week -
here's him 24 years ago -

He was here yesterday, and I showed him this pic.....he still knows how to laugh. .......Do you????


(The picture was taken when we were blowing up balloons and rubbing them on our hair and then sticking them on ourselves and the kids and our dog!).....Try it!!!

originally posted by: lavatrance
Like is this normal???

Normal is relative. It's normal for you because it's how you feel. What it isn't is inevitable.

When you're younger, you're directed more inwardly. What makes you happy? What's fun for you? What do you enjoy? Many people as they get older and have spouses and children become more concerned with others, and that's where the excitement, happiness and joy comes from.

Does that mean you can only live vicariously through the joy of others?

Not at all.

There's a really good book by a guy with a jawbreaker name I highly recommend: Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. It's not a self-help book. It's an explanation with a variety of examples that may help you to understand some concepts that will aid in your finding your own 'flow'.

a reply to: lavatrance

Because when you're younger you're told you can be and do anything you want, and you legitimately believe that because you have little to no real world experience to counter that, but as you age, reality sits in and you realize those naive feelings you once felt have now been replaced with reality, and reality for most, your childhood dreams and aspirations are nowhere near what you're doing today, well, unless you're the exception to the rule...

Life comes in stages.....its not a super thrill ride all the time...
For everything theres a season....
You may be on the verge of a shift if you feel that life is letting you down....
If you want to change your world.....
CHANGE YOURSELF....!
Your feelings of ennui (neat word hey...)
Are natures way of prompting YOU....not the rest of the world...
Some self evaluations are in order my friend....
Look in not out....pain is inevitable
SUFFERING is OPTIONAL.....peace out bro...b
PS... I turned seventy just weeks ago.....

Thats why the little things become so important.
Like good herb.
That'l always get you out of bed.

originally posted by: lavatrance
Why does life become so boring, meaningless and dreadful the older you get???

That only happens if you allow it.

People like my parents don't allow that to happen, and they're a great example of having more fun in older age (60s) than they did when they were younger. But they worked toward that goal, so planning has a lot to do with it.

What's that old cliché? If you fail to plan, plan to fail.

a reply to: bandersnatch

Your feelings of ennui (neat word hey...)

LOL!! Just found this yesterday, on our "Sister Site" disinfo.com :
The Gashlycrumb Tinies an alphabet book......N is for Neville.....



Yeah - died of ennui.

originally posted by: BuzzyWigs

He was here yesterday, and I showed him this pic.....he still knows how to laugh. .......Do you????

Don't you wish you could've bottled those deep, throaty, gurgling laughs? I believe there is a great truth to be found in Disney Pixars Monsters Inc, the laughter of children is a powerful force even if it only figuratively lights up the room. My son is entering puberty, his laugh is acquiring a deeper timbre, but there's still nothing like it "to brighten up even my darkest day."

I wouldn't be young again for the world, I'm not in anyway looking forward to infirmity, of any kind, but in terms of state of mind, 30s I started lightening up, becoming a parent during that time, was of course, transformational and my 40s have been, so far, enjoying the world through that lighter side, my 50s, at this rate, I expect to be particularly awesome.

I don't expect to have to work any less hard, but hopefully differently, as time goes on.

It's called growing up ..

I skated and played hockey for my teens, 20s and into my late 30s until a substantial knee injury slowed both down.
I do neither now.
Im focused on my career, on being successful , on living life the way I want, on enjoying life to the fullest, on getting my stereo setup to sound the best it can. Im just as happy now and just as passionate now about the things that matter to me.

I would guess by the tone of most of your posts you are still young and don't have the perspective of growing up yet. Nothing anyone says to you here is going to change that only going through growing up on your own will do that.

a reply to: lavatrance

I like to turn stones over, to see what bugs hide beneath them, have always and will always carry on, moving stones about, and investigate insects. Insects are awesome.

originally posted by: lavatrance
I don't get it. I was watching a skateboarding video from the 80's that really got me thinking. Like it dawned on me that when you're younger life is SO MUCH MORE FUN. Like everyday is exciting. Everything is just amazing. Life is worth living. You're passionate about things and people. But as you get older, well, you basically give up. Everything becomes boring, meaningless, dull, tiring, hopeless, stressful, and you almost like go into survival mode.

Like is this normal???

When people are young, most are imaginative, conditioned to play and have fun, and then when they begin to grow up that conditioning turns to stress, must have an education, must have a good job, must have a mortgage, must get married, must be well off, must work and work, and so forth.

Welcome to the machine which is society. "Capitalism, or go die. Life isn't worth living unless your rich and people like you and the opposite sex finds you attractive." That's how most people view how life should be, and their conditioning has lead them to feel this way.

Very few escape this drive for more and more consumerism, not necessarily because they choose to want it, but also simply because they're born into city life and everything around them requires loans, excessive work, and a totally focused perspective of self progression, and progression of one's self only.

a reply to: lavatrance

Its because your far to complex for your own good... Life just eventually becomes like being forced to watch the same movie over and over again.

On the other hand, some people are like goldfish swimming around in a gold fish bowl... every lap is like a new experience to them.