Baddogma's Meta Cafe- Polite Discussions About Scientific Mysticism and General Weirdness

a reply to: Reverbs

..continued..



this is when I...


start really thinking oh wow I guess I am dead..

I was pulled from the very bottom of some deep dark nothing to wake up, I could tell it was not a normal wake up, and I couldn't get my brain to work very well, plus I still had no heart beat.. Instead of feeling like a vampire which was cool I felt like a zombie, which was no bueno..

go on ATS (internet is working now I plug the internet antenna back in.. seems normal.. on ATS there is a thread about a mother whos child was in a coma, they turned the plane around I forget the details, but the story made no sense, well I go on my facebook and filled with messages "Don't break the rules!" I can't keep saving you.. They let me revive you this time..
Ok that fits way to well with the weird fake news story.. And how I felt..

(By the way if you guys can find that a plane turned aroudn so a mother could get her son in a coma or her son got sick and they turned around? I would like to see if that story is in THIS world.. Anyway..

I got scolded for being a bad human god vampire angel dude.. But if I follow their rules I can't hold onto my new memories about all of these things that are happening.. I'm rebellious you guys not sure I've ever told you

But no all of that was way too much I was insanely worried and frightened
Well without emotions to go with those "feelings" so can't describe what that "feels" like
I begged for my heart back.. Give me back my soul what did you do? did you take it? give it back!

"you cna't take anyones soul, they can only give it up through freewill"

Then give it back to me!!

"ok ok ok here."

wooshh I'm like OH WOW that's way way way too much feeling.. Gawd this thing is like a nuclear battery of power..

I don't know why they gave it back, and now I miss the vampire feeling too. but would I have been trapped there? wherever there was?


All the threads on ATS were weird.. I mean very weird, some of the main people, almost everyone you recognize was talking about angels..

I kind of rambled and some things I think are out of order..

but


the matrix. my soul nuclear battery, my being made cold and being traced...


I wasn't ready to wake up..
Or I was being effed with by demons..

but in the end it was real life humans who did the magic.


gawd I got tased twice and no police report? I grabbed the damn taser and handed it back to the cop..
No one would look into my eyes, especially the people following me in you guessed it groups of 3s...
always 3.

they would duck their heads, even driving behind me..

So when I was looking out of the back of my uncles car one day the same usual three people, swerving in and out of traffic and changing which car was directly behind us with the other 2 on the sides but they kept serving changing spots like braiding hair with three strands.. and ducking their heads if I looked at them, on the HIGHWAY... literally hiding their head in their hands on the steering wheels..

AS if if they made eye contact the demon inside of me would infect them..

I don't know but here's the thing, my uncle who is very well respected in civillian/military advanced research...(he is allowed to carry a handgun on planes, in fact they made him) He was there he saw it too, and questioned why people were going through our garbage and following us.. It's not just in my head, and my brother was beign followed an hour drive away in another town..

I feel like I could have gone to any world when I came back, and I don't think I came back into the same one..

And now that I'm recovered I miss the magic. That was my life. the WOO went super woo..


And now I'm back to thinking my nuclear battery is being siphoned off on this soul farm we call earth. And I can't even see behind the curtain anymore.
the brain entrainment software has me back in the safe zone frequencies, like trapped in a virtual box.. And I have to play this goofy game all over again.

Oh and they were surprised I could remember anything at all.
hehe

originally posted by: Peeple
a reply to: Reverbs

Where is the rest? ...when I???

above ran out of characters I guess lol

a reply to: Reverbs

I believe it is a natural response to the high woo stuff happening that you detach from your emotions. I don't believe the soul farm story.
Different experiences different conclusions, apparently.
But is that really your overall result? And what did you think, mind control drugs and programming, or technology? Why did they target you? Wth happens here?

a reply to: Peeple

no I didn't detach myself.

the no emotions happened right after my heart was beating out of my chest scared.

it cut off like a light switch, and was cut back on just as easy. You must have never lost your soul. It's not something you can mistake haha. You have no idea how energetic you are. it's nuts.. creatures of habit you get used to it.. adapted.. Remove it and get it back and you'll wonder why you have the power of the sun in your chest.

it was not under my or my subconscious's control.


my high woo started a year before the "targeted part" It was all leading in this one direction of "how to control reality"

it was more than one group interacting with me. They were NOT on the same team.

and rememeber not to get caught up on my words like soul demon human.. I may not mean what you expect.
for instance "magic" is a goofy concept that has no meaning, but what people call "magic" is very real, they just don't know what it is..

the emotions part of you is where you conscience is by the way and I think you are more comfortable in your world so lets call it psychology. someone else turned off my emotions, and my conscience went blank at the same time. I still had all my memories so I could surmise right actions don't kill people easy, but you have to understand that was a moral choice, and had no emotional weight whatsoever.

a reply to: Peeple

Well, when doesn't the senses twist reality?

When everything has to fit our expectations of reality then where is that reality going to be found? In the mind and when reality doesn't fit what's in the mind as concepts there's a doubt a question which is a great thing because we can say well which one is real... the expected that would occur or what actually did occur? Well what actually did occur obviously, the rationalization to see what was magical about it only appeared magical because it didn't fit expectation... and that's the magic it's occuring all the god damned time but expecting or assuming against that expectation or assumption and it then becomes a mystery a conspiracy something is afoot... and that's ok because if you're not being tortured by it dance in those flames as the only thing that will burn you is the idea that whatever is occuring as it is occuring is not seeing what is arising or accepting what has.

I know that sounds stupid and it is, 20000 links around the neck and only one holding them there

a reply to: Reverbs

Right, I fully agree about the more than one party/ not the same team. But to me the it was just a simulation for my own perception and reality, might have been a different story, is sthg I can't shake off. Which is still me firmly convinced one of the parties involved did that. It's not a huge difference, just nuances.
It makes me so angry. How do you deal with that without being angry all the time? You (whoever) are playing with me!
Even if it were god, all I have to say is # you dick!
Come at me strike me with your lightning you prick.

But that's maybe not helpfull in a pursuit of finding out the truth.

a reply to: Peeple

Since we are here now..
These people are all banned from ATS now. All the ones I became aware of.

They spoke in codes. They understand mystery religions.
Time itself on a clock face had some secret meaning about angles..

they would speak about meeting the devil at 12PM monday or 1PM wednesday, and that was a huge difference. The closest I have noticed is the egyptian or sumerian underworld.. it's like a clock face angles thing the sun goes into the underworld.. whatever.. it's the herculese myth..

I obviously don't have the knowledge to know what they were talking about, but it's so creepy now I can't listen to any popular music unless I want to go back to memory lane.. It's encoded everywhere.

Remember I'm not scared.

After all of that I don't know how you could scare me.

trap me in hell, ok lets see if hell is real.. LOL

What happened to me was too far removed from this world that I almost can't cast judgement anymore.. On anything..

Morality almost looks like "confirmation bias" more than anything else. Guess I understand statanists now..

I still hold myself to more than "do as thou wilt" but that's my choice so

a reply to: BigBrotherDarkness

thank you for explanation it may take a practice session or two to take in ... oh and i am just getting started!
the only cutting i am gonna preform is on rotten mental weeds in my mind and clinging to the self... and any help with that is really appreciated even if i don't express it in the right way yet with my actions in body speech and mind...but the more i learn to better perform practice and work on disciplining my mind and more bliss will come my way ... returning the favor back to emptiness aka to the one above my crown.

My present attached mind may get confused or doubtful and it is kicking me here and there but i am too stubborn and wherever dance of life will take me, so be it. Now that doors are opening i will not stop...learn to stop.

My intentions are honest and pure and i am not interested into abusing anything or anyone ... and when or if i attain some real power and if i do that, than i am happy to give everything back right there and than and take responsibility ... my deepest heart desire is true wisdom and means and to awaken real bodhicitta, as that is in my view the same as helping myself.

please tell me, when i sense other beings around me, is it okay to invite them in even if i feel fear ... i am having some trust issues ... well i realize the source of that is lack of trust and confidence in myself ... but i don't lack the courage to do what should be done and i am ready to face my fears ... i wish to reunite with family and start to grow the child of self-awareness.

added:
i want to open up...but i don't trust if i am opening up to the right one as i always walked the middle way. Is this just another trick my mind is playing? i bet it is...

a reply to: BigBrotherDarkness

No the expectation was exactly what did happen, result-wise. Just the how was wrong. Not from expectation but because people actually were doing weird things.
I tried that angle over and over "it didn't happen this is not true" but it was/is and defies every logical explanation that doesn't assume someone who shouldn't have was messing with me.

originally posted by: Peeple
a reply to: Reverbs

Right, I fully agree about the more than one party/ not the same team. But to me the it was just a simulation for my own perception and reality, might have been a different story, is sthg I can't shake off. Which is still me firmly convinced one of the parties involved did that. It's not a huge difference, just nuances.
It makes me so angry. How do you deal with that without being angry all the time? You (whoever) are playing with me!
Even if it were god, all I have to say is # you dick!
Come at me strike me with your lightning you prick.

But that's maybe not helpfull in a pursuit of finding out the truth.

well I jsut sort of answered you by accident before this post was here..

I can't cast judgement.. it's sort of like I went through all of this when I was 4 a long long time ago.

I've come to a place where I feel supier to anything that would control me, because I have no need to control others outside of me. You see? I view them as babies. And they will get the wrath of me loving them and infiltrating them and exposing them.. because I love them.. (haha mwa

originally posted by: Peeple
a reply to: BigBrotherDarkness

No the expectation was exactly what did happen, result-wise. Just the how was wrong. Not from expectation but because people actually were doing weird things.
I tried that angle over and over "it didn't happen this is not true" but it was/is and defies every logical explanation that doesn't assume someone who shouldn't have was messing with me.

that's the worst part.
I spent 6 months trying to make it make sense as not being real.
But I can only make it make sense in one way.. it all happened.

I tried so hard for it to be mind control or I went nutters..
it doesn't make sense, well plus if nothing happened why would my mom and brother be scared #less of me.
and I wasn't acting weird, jsut weird things followed me, and the cars, and all of it..

Gawd how could I be mad..

I'm lucky to be alive.

and I don't know how many "teams" there are, but they can have their game.. I'm playing my own game.

a reply to: Reverbs

I wish I could do that and I would take full responsibility for what seemed to have been going on, but it wasn't me. I am very obviously not in charge.
More like the hissing white cat on the villains lap. "Cut the crap you idiots, there is no hiding they know your thoughts!"

a reply to: UniFinity

Looking for bliss where are you going to find it? When you cease looking... you find it in memory all the time and since you are looking for that past in the present then that's the only place it arises.

Even if you become a master of the bliss body it is still something that can become an attachment, it's given in doses for a reason like the fruit ripens in the mind before one even plants the seed... have to dig the hole plant the seed and water it and wait but you don't have to sit under the tree for the fruit to drop but that sitting will allow you to understand the entire process that is occuring once it does... because being so excited a fruit has dropped one will grab it and then go tell everyone else their work has finally paid off ignoring all the other fruit on the tree.

Half past the nose and the dried dust still clings within to echos...

a reply to: Reverbs

Well, don't play in the trafic of the mind... just observe it and what passes by notice it but don't say red, blue, black toyota, honda or ford as they are all cars and thoughts are just thoughts they spit on a mirror and don't bother to wipe it off. So how can anything be seen clearly in such a reflection always occuring? The mind doesn't clarify butter no matter how much you mentally shake it up.

originally posted by: Peeple
a reply to: Reverbs

I wish I could do that and I would take full responsibility for what seemed to have been going on, but it wasn't me. I am very obviously not in charge.
More like the hissing white cat on the villains lap. "Cut the crap you idiots, there is no hiding they know your thoughts!"

it doesn't matter if it wasn't you. maybe you can gain more control later, but it's not like anyones blaming you for anything. I don't believe in "judgment" as a thing outside of just plain cause and effect.

I'm not fully sure what you mean and I doubt you mean this, but I was turning into something like a death angel (remember I'm just playing with words as analogies) this energy (not my soul) pouring into me was like I had the strength of 10 men kind of energy. It was marvelously delicious. I'd almost go to "the dark side" just to feel that one more time.

well I still felt like anything I did would be blamed on me, so I had to stay in control of me. It got weird with a person looking through my eyes and reading all my thoughts..



that other energy was more strong than my energy but if I could activate mine better I would be more powerful than anything else... But that power it's raw yummy power.. haha I'm glad it's not a drug I can access.. I'd be hopelessly lost.

you can call it artistic license but why would she being saying ALL OF the parts that happened to me?

I know I keep playing these.. But I get it on a level so deep it's more real than breathing.

originally posted by: BigBrotherDarkness
a reply to: Reverbs

Well, don't play in the trafic of the mind... just observe it and what passes by notice it but don't say red, blue, black toyota, honda or ford as they are all cars and thoughts are just thoughts they spit on a mirror and don't bother to wipe it off. So how can anything be seen clearly in such a reflection always occuring? The mind doesn't clarify butter no matter how much you mentally shake it up.

indeed.

and that was part of the mind control..

the thoughts the connections all of it.

I found my peace again.

a reply to: Reverbs

Ironically yes, it just happened.
What bothers me tough is, humans can't be trusted, there is a very powerful group considering me to be their enemy. Maybe simply for not being part of their "group"?

a reply to: Peeple

yea.

so now what?

oh and thank you for telling your story.

I needed to tell mine and I couldn't figure out how to say it without making anyone mad at me, but I think I did it the right way this time.

Glad I did.

And the more people that think about these things or experience them at least it can take some heat off my back..
haha, and the fake facebook accoutns are trying to friend request me again.. Wonder what I did this time.

a reply to: Reverbs

I read too many stories, but what if there truly is a connection to the unknown intelligence on a different realm, or messing with us through time and history?
Or we really are soul-wise immortal?

Maybe plus an AI, aliens like the greek gods and also spirits of dead people. All different agendas. Everybody will go through this we are maybe just the scouts?

a reply to: UniFinity

If these other being you mention cannot flow through without any attachment to the form and try to linger... be a good host and boot the guest as others that will respect it and just flow through are waiting in line.

At some point such dwelling can become a nusence to oneself, it gets painful to maintain the form but yet it still goes on and on and on so grace is a state of no matter what is occuring or arising you meet it with sameness each experience as if it was the same as any other nothing significant about it... sure the first time bliss occurs very significant because it never seemed to occur before the illusion is the unawareness that it is occuring all the time.

Of course, you'll get more benefit entertaining those you see in form instead of those out of form, although it is good to understand and gain some experience of what is arising when it occurs... some only want to come in and be freeloaders the same as those in form one wants to use your body as their dwelling the same as one would use your house.

This is when a foot is in both worlds and one is un unawareness of it... spirit and matter energy and spirit and none any more special or significant than the other it takes a lot of sitting in the middle of both or the twist in infinity to see what is occuring so one doesn't get lost or carried off by mental phantasms of oneself or others concepts past dogma of terms practice or even figures.

The bum on the street could be flowing an emmination through and the compassion shown grant a boon, they could also harness the one that lead that form to the street as all demons of the past unresolved and wish to trade places... same thing and well entertaining people in form or in spirit is really no different in the lessons learned when observing both. Why? Because the nature of such things do not change... the adaptation to when such things arise however?

As reverbs has said? Nothing to fear that sameness that at some point you can't tell the difference so why discriminate either... well, because one spins it one way and one spins it the other and have been so damned turned around when all of that stops both are the futility of a force trying to contantly battle the other but attachment to neither side no winners or losers it is what it is and stays what it is and no one is a friend and no one an enemy there is just being accepting what comes, knowing pain and stress one can see pain and stress and one can use compassion to understand it, or empathy to know it if understood or known then once seen one can help to alieviate it.

So giving rest to both or neither... and then finally one can themselves. That's why the world doesn't cease no matter who dies in one world or another, because every person you exist too? Is an entirely different world all sharing a single base reality that goes unseen but yet it exists if not to you it does to them... so of course what kind of guest do you want to be when visiting their house? Well, how did you host?