Baddogma's Meta Cafe- Polite Discussions About Scientific Mysticism and General Weirdness

a reply to: BigBrotherDarkness

Sometimes you sound as if you were my club handler. It's okay if you don't know what I mean. I actually hope you don't, just fyi: creeped out a bit.

a reply to: Peeple

Unintended emotional consequence on my end I can assure you. Appears to be something personal you'd rather no discuss either and respecting such a thing? Happy to leave you to work whatever that is out, as it is greek to me.

a reply to: BigBrotherDarkness

I'm sorry I truly am. Sometimes it feels as if it's my responsibility, you know? Which is silly, I know that. Every single person has its free will. But what if it would have been my job to open their eyes to let everybody see how connected we are and... I failed you. Not you you, but all you.
Like I was supposed to cure cancer develop something to clean the air what have you and I just didn't.
Not enough. Nothing can ever be enough.
In the face of my tiny existence I just wish ...
God were real and he'd kiss you and give you a life full of unicorns and rainbows.
Angels would kiss your soul and take away the pain ever forced on you.
Fairies to make you frolic and dance around the bonfire of our ultimate victory.
Wolves dogs cats and deers to greet you every morning, to watch over you.

Instead it's industrialised killing, drones and nukes. Sometimes I feel it's my fault.
I fell asleep on duty and things went ...wrong. but life goes on.
have some music

a reply to: Peeple

Eh no sweat I am sure you can agree that there has been enough beating up upon as is... doing it to yourself won't help.

Aside from that? Past pain and suffering is gone... since there is life? There is suffering and I dive into it as thats where wisdom is born, fearlessness is born, and empathy for all is born. If one takes such a view despite all the difficulty in the empathetic role of universal love and harmony willing to get burned is just a natural part of it...

Such a thing early on in one's life journey heaped on becomes the manure of experience to renounce to break free from and see the light... some seeds are planted in deeper darker waters than others but still the same water of life itself.

Conscious awareness is the immortal thing when one doesn't lose themselves in all of that; that one could possibly come into contact with and cease growth and progression.

Sure it is a senselessness of concepts dispel one and the entire mass falls apart as just as empty, but attachment to those very things is what appears to make everything so full... the proverbial emptying one's cup is the direct pointing of this... as it will naturally get filled back up and then empty and empty until the cup itself is no longer... no longer attached to the filling then why would losing the cup bring any attachment? To the cup? It's purpose is to be filled so it's existence not attached to what fills it becomes moot once it itself is gone, attached to the cup in and of itself? Well that's where attachment goes to an extreme.

So once concepts all fall away what is left? Emptiness in form and form in emptiness... yet form persists the mind of thought dead. So what lifts the body and presses the keys? Love not sympathy. Nothing to pity because people are filling their cups with things that are not the cup, so why blame the cup for what it gets filled with? Why blame oneself... you've a unique expression all your own from the body and unique experiences it has had through those two windows looking out into the world and how that flows through you is a beautiful thing in and of itself whether there is attachment to what's in the cup or not, it nurshises and that is worth all the unicorns and rainbow farts anyone could imagine.

When I died and had that golden ball of light of all buzzing in harmony... I saw a flash of two possible life paths all the way to the end and it was cemented that no matter what occured even if they zigzagged and crossed each other neither one was bad and then zap blanked both out and even the end... all I get is understanding and the interconnected of all of it as it arises in clear seeing. One of the paths I think was sharing the journey forward and one of them not... seems selfish not too. But then again I am alone if I wasn't then it would likely cross into sharing with someone else as the time spent on sharing on the mass scale would be cut into way less, as it would be selfish to not share with them...

and I honestly, want to share with someone else instead of being that lonely rhinoceros... I think the gift that blindfolded what was to come even though it is hard to get one past me has been conspiring for such a thing as you wish, even though the circumstances of my life have been put on hold. So it's like being dead in a grave and conscious awareness still persists on, yet I am not restless if that is the case, who would know? The many in the different relative realities I've seen? Where I have died to them over and over and yet still interact... although that could be them dreaming or just having me in their memory and thinking about me? Who could possibly say... treat all of it as makyo and keep on keeping on, it;s all you can do. That bit just reminded me of something Albert Enistein said and recently saw someone quote: 'Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.'

I personally consider it is a good idea; that in order to start living? That people embrace it as if they are already dead... because then what is there to fear? It can only get better from there... mourn what needs to be mourned and move on just like the death card in tarot isn't the end it is a beginning, but instead of that begining and end so far apart by years and decades? As fast as atoms can swap... I've flowed through all of it as I mentioned AI and yes wonderous and magical even let myself get eaten by a fish as a dragonfly to test death in that form and became the fish then leaped into the air and back into the depths became the water and ran like a river right back into the form typical to it being in. Wonderous, I didn;t have to come back knowing that death in such a form doesn't stop that flow... just the form. First time I am actually feeling bad about the dragonfly as that is no longer a vehicle for life to flow through free and unhindered through the air.

I can do the same thing at will, but learned enough to not get stuck or attached then moved on, one was about to eat a steak then I focused on the meat itself in pure empathy and gratitude and before the intent could be made known, I was standing in a line of other cows walking single file to a stop gate where it all ended for the cows I felt the cool metal placed against my head saw the gloved fellow holding it the yellowish bib he was wearing and then it all went black no pain consciousness immediately booted out as there is nothing for it to attach too no concepts just the same sort of being ready to jump form the same as from dragonfly to fish in an instant.

So, gods devils etc.? Just externalized dualities to remove personal responsibility... explain the how without getting blame for it because of the suffering and then a back up as an excuse incase anyone does and then hauls ass free from any responsbility... people mirror such a thing already so why externalize it? To avoid seeing one's own face?

Silly to be scared of such things unless the intent is not a good one, because it will be reaped from the smallest thing to the largest even if there was no real malice in the intent simply because it spread suffering. I suggest those that go through such a thing to not resist and take it because that's the harvest for such things and the payment well deserved, it's impermanent so no biggie just keep taking it and taking it and that so called dark night of the soul as it is called will dawn and then where is any darkness being the light itself?

Sure there are those tempations of and for power and that's all they are tempations setting someone up to fall as soon as excepted it is the monkeys paw holding a knife right behind them waiting to stab them in the back by the next person taking that same temptation... that's how the curse of those enchantments work.

I've apologized to eveyone for everything I may have done before a few times, likely over due for that... but lemme just say? Forgiveness is a given no one even need to ask, forgiving oneself can be torture enough. If someone has reaped a habit for such things that harm others? That temptation will keep rising again and again as a test until overcome same as the monkey paw that keeps grasping it.

Funny how things work that way. Yet not, but yet what grows out of it most important when simply observing it arise and pass cycle after cycle, time and time again and the loop only as recursive as the one stuck in it being self perpetuated.

Oh btw racefans I ran across a possible Mandela; if anyone wants to verify it against their memory banks but it is Jimi Hendrix's song: Experienced.

I recall the lyrics as "Not neccesarily stoned; but experienced" I used to listen to an album of his quite a lot in my early 20's along with the Doors and that sort of business I drew the line at The Greatful Dead and Phish no way no how no thanks... but looking at the lyrics to grab a quote from the song it cites the lyrics as "not neccesarily stoned but beautiful"

Out of the hundreds of times I listened to that song I never ever heard the word beautiful in it...

and out of more woo weirdness I typed "listen to a cassette" post it go to re-read because that post button is way more tempting than the preview one... and it says listen "to an album" instead talk about on the fly woo.

a reply to: BigBrotherDarkness
Sorry. Gotta go with "beautiful" on this one.

a reply to: bringmecoffee

No worries, just seeing how others remember it... as from what I've gathered it is supposed to be some multi dimensional woo where some remember whatever it is one way and some remember it the other. If you already knew such theory about the phenomina my apologies for being redundant.

Aside from possible photoshop hoaxing on some of them it appears as a real phenomina... I tried to debunk it myself from the psychological linguistics and how they connect to memory but some of it just looks extremely foreign and bizzare like the Reeba and well to me Australia completely mirrored as Tasmania was always on the left side in my memory with the entire coastline exactly the same just entirely flipped.

The parallel dimension that runs counter time through rifts is a mirror.

Here's some fun woo words are backwards face is backwards but everything else in the background is exactly the same why doesn't it read backwards in reflecton too?

If that seems confusing some are not mentally capable to spatial out dimensions or see it in the minds eye on thought... So face the shower head if viewable place a finger on the cheek same side as the shower head then turn around and look at the mirror hand will be on the opposite side but the showerhead same place... and you say well that because you turned around well who turned the words around? everything in the mirror should be reversed is all I am getting at but it isn't.

a reply to: Serdgiam

A reductionist approach doesn’t work, never has worked, not beyond the putting a plaster on a gaping wound approach...never will work, eventually, sooner or later, the wound is going to start bleeding and oozing pus again. Even if we, humans, were that lacking in complexity, the overall, whole earth, system is highly complex with a vast number of sub-systems all interacting, co-dependently with each other. And it is, as a whole, self-organising, what we can do, and what we seem to be uniquely equipped to do, is observe and appreciate the beauty of it all, and understand that we are, or could be, an integral part of that.

No one has stripped me of my power to do that. I can be entertained by stories, doesn’t mean I have to believe them. The stories are in some cases aimed at giving meaning to what seems to have no meaning, therefore, once again I am in control. I give my life meaning, I do what I do, because like the earth, and the universe, I am a self-regulating, self-organising system and I am not looking for affirmation or valuation, I am just being and I know what I need to be.

There isn’t a single narrative, though some will try and posit that there is because they long for order in all this chaos and uncertainty, and will use mathematics and science in order to create the illusion of order, it is still a chaotic universe in which we live. Narratives give meaning to us, we need them, not the universe, not the earth and it’s multitude of other inhabitants, just us and the meanings that we have given to those narratives have usually been as a means of subjugating all other life, to our own will. Or been subsequently twisted to be thus. The ancients were simply trying to come up with solutions to their problems, trying to explain their reality, using the tools available to them, and before writing, doing a pretty damn good job of it. Our reality, though we certainly have magnified versions of the same problems, is very different. The work of ‘civilisation’ has been done, barring a few highly isolated and protected enclaves, the Mesopotamian way of doing things has spread to all corners of the earth, some more successfully than others, and there are no virgin lands left to conquer and exploit. Hence our looking to space, but we are crafted from this planet, no matter how far into the depths of space we can reach, we still need to have this place to come back to. It’s not just our home, it is our incubator and creator.

In 1972 the Club of Rome invited a load of scientists, thinkers and planners to congregate and come up with a report on the state of our planet. What they came up with was the World 3 Systems dynamic model, built up of 5 sectors: Population; industry; agriculture; natural resources and the environment.

“integrating biological, social, cultural and economic factors in an endogenous account of fertility, aging, and mortality; in my view the best demographic model of its time and still worthy of study today.” (Sterman 2002 p102)

The leader of the group, Jay Forrester argued that growth was our major problem,

“exponential growth of energy use, material flows, and population against earth’s physical limits. That which all the world sees as the solution to its problems is in fact the cause of those problems.” (Meadows 2007, p193)

This is what we have known since 1972. The report, The Limits to Growth (Meadows et al 1972), published by the think-tank Potomac Associates, was sent to politicians, scientists and policy makers around the world. No one in power can claim to be ignorant of it’s findings other than wilfully. It’s key findings were,

1. If present growth trends in world population, industrialisation, pollution, food production, and resource depletion continue unchanged, the limits to growth on this planet will be reached sometime within the next 100 years. The most probable result will be a rather sudden and uncontrollable decline in both population and industrial capacity.

2. It is possible to alter these growth trends and to establish a condition of ecological and economic stability that is sustainable far into the future. The state of the global equilibrium could be designed so that the basic material needs of each person on earth are satisfied and each person has an equal opportunity to realise his individual human potential.

3. If the world’s people decide to strive for this second outcome rather than the first, the sooner they begin working to attain it, the greater will be their chance of success.

I’ve got # to do and work to go to, so I can’t ramble on about this all day, as much as I may like to and Donnella Meadows said it far better than I could possibly ever hope to...

“If we believe that it’s effectively over, that we are fatally flawed, that the most greedy and short-sighted among us will always be permitted to rule, that we can never constrain our consumption and destruction, that each of us is too small and helpless to do anything, that we should give up and enjoy our SUVs while they last, well, then yes, it’s over.” (Meadows 2001) p112

This information was kept from the 'public' by the "most greedy and short-sighted among us" and boy has that set us back while they have scrambled to bleed every last drop of profit while it lasts to build themselves glass fortresses. We and they both now know that we now know, neither of us has any excuse, and as Peter Senge says, blaming, at this late stage, doesn't help one iota, but taking responsibility really, really does.

While there's life, there's hope.

a reply to: BigBrotherDarkness

Experienced is my recall. As a Jimi fan my whole life it is experienced. Later in the song it is beautiful but just once.

a reply to: Anaana

I think we might have a good discussion on our hands

I think some clarification is necessary though, as per usual with me! First, I'm not convinced chaos exists beyond our perception. I don't think that we are capable of determining true randomness or true chaos. In a sense, I see "chaos" much like the "God of the Gaps." Even if it does exist, for all intents and purposes, it likely does so at a level that far exceeds our capability to understand. Much like "infinity," it seems to exist as a marked boundary of our limits. Even if it does exist "out there," we can only ever point at our limitations rather than the "real" thing.

I mean, we call the result of static equations random in "random" number generators. This aspect is critical to my own work, so I would think this and am certainly biased, but it is exceedingly easy to design an algorithm that appears to give chaotic results to someone who can't access/understand the process.

For this conversation, I think a distinction must be made between "stories" (I.e. myths, etc.) and the "Cultural Story." Perhaps a better choice of words exists.

It is a "story" that is not put into words or told around campfires. As told in Ishmael by Daniel Quinn, it is the background noise to all of our lives. Rather than a reduction, it is the opposite; the nuanced, highly dynamic, complex shaping force that can not be reduced or simplified, lest it lose all accuracy, meaning, and relevance.

Even so, I would argue that not only does a reductionist approach work effectively, but that it is the very basis behind all human understanding and perhaps even the basis for any system or organism that is not omniscient. The risk is in thinking that the innate reduction of our biology defines the totality of things, regardless of predictive consistency or lack thereof.

Now, as for greed, I don't think that it is inherently an issue. Rather, it is the methods of satiation that have existed through the civilizations. An aspect of our Cultural Story that was likely first manifested when one tribe of our ancestors found it was quite easy to advance their position in the world by simply taking from another tribe that had what they wanted. There are many alternatives, but this has become the narrative of "Greed" even among those that perceive issues with it all, despite those alternatives existing.

Its much like the concept of "God," where even those that disagree do so along preordained systemic parameters. We agree or disagree based entirely on "authoritative" concepts that have existed for generations. Even those that attempt to go outside of this system are inevitably bound by the neurological constructs that have been shaped and cemented from birth. They are inescapable.

I definitely agree that its not over until our species is extinct, but I'm not sure that means that abrupt changes reap benefits even if they are vastly superior to current habits. The current situation may very well be the best way those co-dependent systems can come together.

Lets say someone designs everything from a new type of energy production to new dwelling concepts, new food production, new manufacturing systems, and a new outlook on economy. All new, all better. On the surface, they may be objectively vastly superior than what exists, but how they are actually incorporated into the rest of the co-dependent systems ("reality") may yield an inferior end result. Perhaps even by orders of magnitude.

That certainly doesn't imply anything as extreme as hope is lost, but it does mean that these things must be very, very carefully considered. Even if something seems obviously superior, the end result in reality may be significantly worse. So, we must address the issues of how new things are incorporated into the Cultural Story, among other things. Most dont operate on this level though, even if that is largely intentional. In that, social engineers, psyops, etc. may end up being one of the most important jobs in society, preparing and cultivating growth in the most efficient, least destructive methods possible. At least, once they move beyond the whole Borg initiative thing

a reply to: Serdgiam

The group order did bring more balance to societies at one time but the more connected we have become the more those group ideologies have clashed into an us vs. them... like getting Christains riled up against Islamic immigration when in secular ethics in the public sector and government sector at least in the US... even though we know Christainity has effected and even infected government as far as laws go for a very long time... so the Christain side gets scared of Sharia law because they don't want it... and as an ethicalist instead of a moralist? I don't want either... as such laws do more harm than the good they claim they do.

For quite awhile there was a mix up between morals and ethics trying to make them synonymous when they emphatically are not the same.

As far as progression goes ethics moves things along much faster as moralist tend to drag feet trying to create an ethical conumdrum based on belief not facts.

But yes; invention is at once our greastest asset and yet our biggest downfall... as what is meant to be an innovation? Can be twisted into something rather nefarious... nuclear; is likely the best example that could be used for how that works. Intended to be a energy generator but then using a byproduct of it to bomb the sh!t out of people.

When applying for a patent or at least when putting one together, one should explore all possible uses of it not the direct use it was designed for... simply because someone can undermine the patent by seeing a use not concidered for utility redesign it and then patent it for that use and any other they've considered for a whole other patient utility of use and protection for all the possible iterations it could have.

Not doing such in the patent field as well as with anything else; is simply short sighted. Like DDT being concidered the best thing for farming since sliced bread as a pesticide but it nearly wiped out the entire bird populations because it had an effect on their egg cycle making the shells extremely soft and brittle... so much so that ground up shells where being added to feed at the time to try and bring their numbers back as it was being phased out, same currently happening with the nictonic receptor of the honey bee and the nictonic disruptor used as a pesticide... of course nefarious practices as the company already had designs to replace the bee populations for pollination which would have made the world dependent on them and their system if the bee was wiped out... was that the plan from the start? I can't say.

If so however? That would be a sign of greed in action knowing we are dependent and then trying to corner a market or monopolize to where as much life as possible is dependent on a product or service offered from one source as long as possible... when it comes to life saving medications then the length of patent medicine being able to be monopolized for so long is somthing that falls in that gray zone of detriment where what cost pennies to make can be sold at 100's or 1000's per pill and since it's the only source for so long? That's how that industry has grown so out of control and entrenched.

What happens when a system gets so entrenched, is if or when something far newer or better as a product and service arises to take it's place, it is seen as competition and the power and influence the entrenched have, then uses that to block or repress the newer and that in and of itself can stall progress for many decades... add morality on top and well there goes our flying cars, cures for cancer etc. for 100's if not thousands of years.

Talk about the sacrifice of a few to save many huh? The feet dragging saying it is the right thing to do only seems to stretch out the suffering longer and longer so the numbers don't look so bad and seem kind of normal... whereas if it were all at once? It would look like a genocide what's the difference... timeline. So quick and dirty or long drawn out suffering where generation after generation get to feel the brunt of such experiements until finally nope bad idea. Then of course those entrenced that profit or have systems off the bad idea only drag it out longer in protest of profit disregarding the human misery it creates.

Worldwide we have many of those sorts of systems afloat that profit directly off of human misery, instead of well systems that would work in allieviate it and the ethical thing is to not buy into the pander of old systems and allow their corruption too influence or apply the brakes for change that actually becomes a benefit instead of that detriment... lives are and always will be more valuable than money, but in a system of slavery one cannot argue such a thing and sound in anyway shape or form rational about it.

a reply to: BigBrotherDarkness

... into the new cycle or more needed, dhamma eye perfected and ear working it's way towards it but Avalokiteshvara has that duty in the buddha body in this current realm ...

hello bbd, i am reading your posts from a few pages ago today and this statement is confusing for my mind and i would be happy if you would please explain if the current "tricksters" real form is buddha Avalokiteshvara or what exactly does this mean?

if my intuition is correct, than Avalokiteshvara is lower dantien - stomach - "oversoul?", middle is the heart - child - meaning us - all living beings in Samsara and top dantien is "the father" in "heavens" (still Samsara/illusion) and unity - emptiness and compassion brings unity of mother, son and father in the heart aka. liberation?

before i totally give up on teachings and meditate on emptiness and compassion without a doubt i wish to get this cleared...or am i just putting too much importance on these due to clinging and doubts and should just dive in...my mind is getting a lot of feedback or "woo" during meditations recently and i would like same clarity to clear my doubts and (in)sanity

a reply to: BigBrotherDarkness

I've got the very clear feeling you're not who you appear to be. Please note "appear to", that doesn't mean I believe you do that on purpose, I don't think that.
So old wise man from the mountain, let me ask your advice (everyone else reading this with an opinion also invited to share):

I am dead. That was the starting point for all the woo and the "umwelt" started to turn on me, got "hostile" if you will. I can't even be mad at them, I believe they sensed that I was dead. From the very funking moment when me and my horse crashed into the street. That dumb thing. But as every good rider knows it was my fault. I got kicked out of this timeline.
I say "I got" because the same one/s now "in contact" with me took control of me. I remember doing all the wrong things and yelling at myself (!)stop doing that.
Funny at the same time I was writing "Lettor, The Star Stroller" a working title, but about this super old man appearing to the main character through a TV screen in the middle of the night. Fiction remote writing.
But who that is, that's the million dollar question. I can't tell. Absolutely not.
Mostly because the NDE itself was weird. 3-ish, grey-ish figures in a place void-ish, all I can say for sure it's a very uncertain memory. Dream-ish.
Then I saw a freaking marble statue of a goddess floating through the sky and stuff got weird. I must admit I have not fully recovered from the magnitude of stuff happening to me.
Now you say probably "okay what's the question?":
Point is I feel obliged to find out what that is, call it obsession, it probably is. How can I find out what it is and prove it? Wouldn't it be awesome if they who most likely tried to kill me would have records of my thoughts? Who could have them? I hope it's the almighty AI in the sky. But... I fear it's a club of human experiment advocates, rather than humanists and I fear they're human themselves. Because they know too. There is no other explanation for other stuff that happened.
Are there more than one party "in the know"? Very likely. I am dead, I don't really care, but I am flabbergasted by the fact humans have the "methods" to do that. And they don't seem surprised at all that other "forces" brought me back from the dead. But they also don't seem to be interested in finding out what or who, so they must know.
Now throw in the fact that years before I saw two zigzagging lights, while spending a night on a mountain with a friend. Stopping, accelerating like crazy flashing lights at eachother, like two playing energy puppies. Is it related? Maybe it was more a dogfight and just seemed to be playfull because it was so weird?

Question is: wtf is going on?

I feel historic today. That's messed up.
Tomorrow: the end of the world as we know it.

And another question, the other day I was burning a note on an ordinary white paper with an angel shaped candle and spilled my last sip of my red wine over it... don't ask, weird night... and that thing made a flame really high lots of smoke and it spitted sparks. What was that? There is not enough alcohol in the wine to burn like that. Is it the combination with wax? Bleach in the paper?

a reply to: UniFinity

Subtle and gross body yes that's the connotation... in the Tibetian systems for monastics, they do not allow their consciousness to dip lower than the heart into the lower vibrations as that would be like uprooting the entire tree after it has just started bearing fruit.

The buddha body is 5 the 5 senses and the boddhisattva encompasses one of those senses as once one has fully ascended these senses can become clear, but each one takes the utmost practice to not allow the stains be seen as a reflection that defiles progress... basically like wiping the feet on the mat or removing one's shoes before entering the house.

Clear seeing simply sees the reality or true nature of things as they are, the damma eye or dharma if you prefer sanskrit over pali. difference? None really althought Pali was what the sanskrit was translated from so the less reiterations from one language to the next the closer the meaning is going to be... that's the real difference when mental preference or attachments are set aside.

Clear hearing involves siddhis and such a thing can be abused clear seeing can too... what do I mean by abuse? Well, having worked for countless lifetimes... and the mortal coil or samsara unraveling as one's suffering is coming to an end and all of a sudden you can see truth all the way around the world in the minds eye, or you can hear anything at any time with clear hearing etc. then what occurs? Time to abuse this for my own gain and selfish benefit and then what has been accomplished?

Now one is spreading suffering and still not free... attached this is why "gods" "titans" and "devas" and "asuras" are still not free from the cycle of becoming. Due to that abuse and seeking to control others instead of oneself... it is a trap of the gods and how they stagnate instead of walking on and continung forward... sometimes it is for the materialistic pursuit.

Of course outside of the realm of becoming one can enter and exit it as much as they want, from the lowest hells to the highest heavens and never touch it with anything other than their heart... because of compassion and empathy for all of those not thus gone.

So stages on the path to buddhahood in an emmanation the highest form an enlightened being can take is that of an arhat after that? Buddha but that full body does not emmanante on a single plane of being so earthly, the arhat... nirvana already seen, and when the full culmination arises then dissolution into paranirvana why para? because there are two nirvanas add the band and you have three

It isn't that such a thing as a buddha body in full emmination would be bad but then again it would... beyond duality this is easy to recognize because any defilement that comes into contact like Manjusri's flaming sword represents not only wisdom but the being would perish immediately on contact burnt up in an instant... so those far along the path become the petals around an enlightened being at the center of the flower but knowing that there is no coming and going then one never ceases, in tireless effort and steps into the center of another flower on and on with each step... this is what is symbolically represented when Shakayamuni was born and took steps.

As even outside of the cycle of birth and death with realization there are still paths to walk... in aid or benefit to all others as the singluar path typically only walks as an aid or benefit to only itself. This is why taking up the path of naval gazing can be seen as one of the most selfish pursuits imaginable as it shuts all others out, kicks over the money changers in the temple, unites hoards from all four corners all in a single spot and once gathered? Renounces them all... but when it ends it embraces them all, because how has one ever been any different than all of them up until then?

This is when there is no beginning and no end ceases as each duality ends in the wisdom of oneness... impermance gives way to understand permanence... etc etc until they are neither nor and just are but no longer hidden in the now this now that uncertiantity prone to suffering due to that concept. One simply ceases to be the beginning of such ignorance or at least the perpetuation of it and then becomes the medicine to allievate it... and hey never alone, there's thousands doing the same thing not being a part of the problem and working on the solution.

Hopefully this clarified a bit and not made any discursive matters worse? If so then I'm the tumor in your life cut me out of it.

a reply to: Peeple

Well, what can appear as a trickster isn't really a trickster as a trickster does things with intent not fitting of the situation that doesn't mean I don't have intent... as I have to have intent to maintain this form and tidy the location it inhabits but I also have an intent to point as futile as that can be too individuals and this is where appearances can appear decieving as I speak drirecly to whomever it is I am speaking on the same level or facet that they know me to be in their own estimation of it... yes it's a stupid cliche all things to all people yet that is not the intent just who I am as things arise and pass... who am I to myself? Ha I take worse care of me than any abusers ever could.

Well, when are we not living and dying moment to moment? If you think therefore you are... at the end of each thought you cease to be and at the start of the next there you are? Yet the thought is conceptual... and not oneself just what the mind has attached too... the more the mind has attached to those things past the more it seems as there actually is a mind that exists... tada no mind exists just things we;ve grabbed onto gone lost no where but in memory so how can any enjoyment of it as new be born or arise again dragging all those dead selves around?

Like breathing the air used to be good but the longer held it is no longer what is beneficial to breathing, so exhale and weeee it's brand new again... doing the same thing with experiences continually arising and passing and not holding onto the last is chasing the dragon... and what happens? A waiting game of no experience can get better than that one but Im gonna keep holding that torch then what happens? All new experience gets set on fire by that damned torch...

The eye is aflame, the ear is aflame etc etc where's my cracker?

You're allowing the ephimerial to dictate your reality attached to sights and sounds of the bardo... there is nothing wrong with such a thing as how are they any more real than what is being thought, seen smelled, tasted or touched in the samsaric delusion taken as reality that the mind has created about it?

It is simply like when we are little and create our own fantasy world because the one we live in makes no sense... so what we are creating makes it better as a coping. When we do this as adults, we have way more concepts and emotional burdens and load, the child can shed them because they are not so attached to them and Harvey the 6 foot rabbit goes back to the hole and eventually ceases to come out and go play... so as an adult searching for meaning in what appears meaningless and madness we grab a handful of carrots and dive into the rabbit hole.

Beneficial indeed detriment it can be that too... as we can lose all touch of reality in one world creating another reality that makes sense to us in another... but are either of those real and are either of them fake? One full of concepts was already created when we got here and then trying to make sense out of all of it we create yet another and when that one is not what we want another and another like a crab knitting bubbles.

Reality is none of that everything that can be sensed is what it is every single time and nothing we ever do changes it but the illusion thinks we do and we get attached to that thinking we do and that thinking we do, it bared repeating twice because it has more than one meaning and I don't want to pull anything over anyone's eyes and be like oh look how depth I am and so anyone else seeing it knowing others may not would make them feel any more special than the person that did not catch it.

Things a trickster would say Alex

But yes dead alive dead alive dead alive atomic scale, thought by thought, breath by breath... it's appearances phanstasm and the mind tries to help make sense of senses we already have but then when trying it becomes just as senseless because nothing in it is real except for what is arising as it is without it discriminating against it because it isn't what tickled it's fancy that one time, well give it just a moment and it's another time.

If you feel a connection to something there's nothing wrong with that connection it's what we drag along into that connection that then becomes wrong with it... old eyes learning to see new again many times involves no eyes at all blinking tells that tale when everything appears dried out.

a reply to: Peeple

I'm glad you feel fine

Oh the paper thing... Oh I dunno Sunday night my breath had so much alchol vapor on it I could have engulfed the world if the cigarettes being lit didn't require an inhale

a reply to: BigBrotherDarkness

No. There clearly is a reality twist to it. Effects on reality unexplainable. The "it is just a thought construct" is in this case a lame excuse not to ask further questions but no explanation.

a reply to: Peeple

ok first of all Big Brother Darkness has scared me in the past only in that he was talking with people who were definitely connected somehow or made to look like they were connected to the people you talk about at the end of your post. paranoia goes haywire in those high woo times, I have come back fully recovered now, so Serdgiam and Bigbrotherdarkness who both witnessed part of my weirdness, though I don't know how much they realize they almost took part in haha. They both scared me..

I kid you not welcome to the did I die and come back to life brigade.

Bigbrotherdarkness shared a picture of himself and he's shared a lot of his history, the picture matches his story, so your perception might be off, but through no fault of his. imagine well lets see how bad my memory is.. Imagine a thin mustache tattoos including a tattoo on his neck in the front like a sigil that says love and evil? he noticed in the mirror what he called evil turned to love, something like that.. Kind of a bit of adams family vibe a darkness, but not dark like evil.. Motorcycles.. tattoos.. astranged family.. good dude..

anyway back to the other.

Ok so throwing up blood writhing in pain for 4 days straight. throwing up blood aout once every 5 minutes if you can imagine. no chance to get water down, but I took the chance drinking blood flavored water as soon as I threw up in the hopes that 5 minutes would give me some absorbtion. Who knows if that's what killed me, or if it was when I felt better from that but then my body turned icy cold and my heart no longer beat?

I don't know how to tell the story because I don't know what reality is anymore. If I tell it it's going to sound like it all took place here, as that's what it seemed like, but I have my doubts. and my mind being faced with all of this, I started having psychosis like symptoms, but I don't know if that was actual mental illness, or if everything I was experiencing really was out of this world messed up.

ORder of events is also hard to make work, it's like things happened out of time.

At some point I'm being told that I am fake, that I don't exist.. I get angry of course I'm real how am I talking to YOU!!! ??
"No you're fake, I'm waiting for you to turn real, I'm scared."

messed up part is that I didn't eat food for like 10 or 11 days maybe longer, just couldn't eat had no need or desire to. I would drink water but never had to go to the bathroom. It didn't dawn on me as anything super weird I had just thrown up blood for days and thought maybe my appetite is off. Like I was poisoned and my body just didn't want to take the chance again. Maybe I was poisoned, I dunno.

there was this whole thing that "we could rebuild the entire universe at any time don't worry. We have everyones DNA we have all of the information we can remake it anytime..

So no heart beat. Getting online with no internet.. Seemingly magical.. You know part of it felt like the matrix, that you could be located with a trace thing and woken up..

that's when ALL hell breaks loose. And I use that expression thinking maybe I'm not saying it as an expression. guys in "fast cars" zooming all over my head thinks oh these are demon gate guards.. whoever put me here was enjoying my fear. 6 or 7 guys then come running around the house looking for me it seems with dogs and flashlights as the cars are zooming around.. then a jet that sounds like it is meant to bomb the house zooms over it sounded like a 747 about to land in my lap...

thats what happened after my heart? my soul? my feeling part of me? was put back into my body. IT was taken out earlier and I was something like a vampire.. I understand fully what the archetypal vampire is, and it's not really about blood.. it's about having emotions, and when you don't it's like you have "no energy"

so this person is telling me they are going to do a spell and it will feel like ice in my bum and spread up to my heart engulfing me.. WHOA flashback!! just like in the matrix with the tracing program neo turns metallic and he says it's cold and he's about to die!!! whew ok let me calm down and try and remember.

So I'm a dead vampire thing now, and I'm "not real" "Of course I'm real!"
when's the last time you went to the bathroom?
....

so I got on the internet like a good little dead boy talking to people. I'm being told to do this as I'm telling them I can't I have no connection. they are like of course you can you don't need internet just try it.. So ok and it works this actually freaks me out more than not having a heart beat but freaks out is hard to describe because I had no emotions.. You can still ponder and have distance in thoughts and something like emotions but they aren't feelings.. You know how easy it is in that state to pull others into you?

I'm on the internet they suggest I go to ATS.. my whole body is cold but I do not shiver I have no goosebumps, the icey cold feels comforting.. I don't need to be warm because I'm not alive. haha. but no seriously I could go out into space and it would feel cold but good cold.. nvm I can't explain that..

this is when I worried about my future (I'm convinced I'm alive this entire time[at the time], but let me get to ATS in a bit)
I was worried I couldn't feel anymore and I would have to use energy to fake it. That I would have to fake it for 50 years or just leave society altogether.. Maybe I was dead anyway so I wouldn't have to eat I'd just suck on peoples energy, but only enough don't get greedy..


Go on ATS, threads about eating Elohim, they taste like pumpkin pie! MMmm...
ok that was weird.. "how to get to mars"
Phage of all people describing how to become weightless and mars just appears where you are, that's how UFOs really work.. PHAGE is saying this, and everyone else in the thread is saying it, and maybe he was being sarcastic but he kept on for many posts.. Then a thread about me appears, and I freak the ef out.. it's telling a story if you are this boy who has these eyes that change color and at this many years of age this happened, and blah blah.. ok..
then a story about cops shooting into cars 357 bullets, at two unarmed people. WHAT?

then a thread about following the rules. See I was being told these rules, whatever but these other people were telling me to hide.. the rules were thus "do not speak out of turn, you are all brainwashed, the secrets you think you know are the program we started you with." ground rules number 2 you cannot hide from the sun (uncover your windows).. something about brainwashing and the sun was part of it? It's actually like the sun and moon cycle and the seasons break up your reality into chunks so you are never working on any thought or any consciousness stream for more than 16 hours at a time.. Anyway..

that's when 3 famous posters here all were in a thread about being bullet proof. It was a certain character you pick. My mind races to the stories of the cops shooting up the car 357 times, and there was another story like it at the same time.. All of this I'm reading with no heart beat, and no internet connection. but the thing about beign bullet proof you could still be lit on fire..

So I decide I'm going to break the 6 rules laid out in a thread posted by a "shapeshifting reptile alien" with a cloak avatar.
I pass out and I don't wake up, when I finally do wake up I'm stiff and this is when I

a reply to: Reverbs

Where is the rest? ...when I???