The Downsides of Being Beautiful

a reply to: Revolution9

Can't say anything yet but I had a great Christmas spent it with my dudes singing dancing just jolly jolly fun.
No one was unhappy mostly but Mr Monkey (Me running about like a Chimp to make a duddette happy not sad) had to make one Christmas appearance.
I was on sleep as well and let the lads stay up till 1am with a crate of none alcoholic beer and star wars .
Interrupted sleep though and up at 8 and home to start my Christmas .
Cheers dude I hope ATS and every member has had a great Xmas .

a reply to: Revolution9

I find Japanese women attractive, African women, Arabic women, European women, American women, Native American women, etc to be equally endowed.

I second that ,if I can fine tune the above to my personal specs ,sorry ladies but Iam about to reduce you to body parts,..legs I like long legs, however I won't pass you up if you don't, curves and booty is a starter, mind you not an out of controlled booty , if you have a cylindrical body but with a pretty face, we better have great sparks and laughs for me not to place you in the friend zone.
Issues if you burn-up easily in the sun ,that can be a problem as I am a beach bum in summer but that could be worked around but would be nice to hangout together.
The rest is personality personality personality!! I hate brooders and darkness of spirit, a lil bitchy is ok but never go total with me else we done.

Just remembered this funny cm from some yrs back.

i think what a lot of so called "beautiful" people lack is being humble.

i grew up as a fat kid so i became very introverted and but as soon as i turned 18 i lost the weight and i had people left and right telling my how naturally beautiful i was.

i ended up modeling for a few years and i always heard "wow its crazy how humble you are because surely you must have been told your whole life how gorgeous you are all the time!"

yet i wasnt.

because ive been on both ends of the spectrum. so that brought me down a notch and i was never a vain person. and being beautiful and humble has helped me a lot.

being vain is not beautiful and people that have always been called beautiful are more often then not vain people so they draw negativity to themselves (ie kim kardashian always taking selfies and being hated by many)

but there are rare gem like angelina jolie who is beautiful and down to earth and always seen doing charity work for others.

so its really about the added traits you possess with your looks

a reply to: rukia
....Are you for real?.....this belongs in the hoax bin.....because we dont have a retard bin here at ATS yet. There is no beauty in narcisism.

Skin Tone and shapely figure has a lot to do with beauty, male or female as far as appealing to the eyes goes. And I suppose if there is inward beauty, all the better.
Some men like large breasts while I don't mind flat chested girls. Beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder.
What appeals to one may do less for another.

"The Downsides of Being Beautiful" is like starting a topic called "Why Being Superman Sucks". >_>

Physical characteristics, I think it's circumstantial, honestly, but if I had to spell it out, I'd say my preferences would be...

Tall, reasonably flat chested, long straight hair (I like red), any eye color but flat brown, pale skin tone.

But, I mean, one of the most gorgeous people I've ever seen was fairly short with currled hair, so I dunno. CIRCUMSTANTIAL, I SAY! You can't put people in boxes, even their physical appearance. I find the vast majority at least somewhat attractive anyway, so it mostly comes down to personality.

In that regard... Eh, all I can really say is that I need to find them interesting. A weird way of putting it, but there's nothing in particular outside of general intelligence and calmness.

I'd say I'm one of the people that really go along with the "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" thing.

a reply to: rukia
Well depends on what any one person would mean by beautiful? Notice the question mark.

But that! And by "that" I mean that what you wrote. Yes! That. Has got to be one of the least down side'y, down sides, on a long list of downsides, to and even longer list of things that have much more of a downsides to them, that exist out there.

And by out there, I mean the world at large. Somehow I felt compelled to explain the obvious and mundane in my sentencing there, oh "there" it goes again. Maybe I am making fun of you, or maybe not. I will leave it to you to interpret. Or not. It would be better left uninterpreted because interpreting things like beauty is merely in the eye of the beholder. Or so I once heard, and it seemed about right.

I suppose there would be a down side to everything, to some more so then others. I would say pics or your pulling things out of thin air and I dont believe it, likely does not even exist. Notice I said "I would say" even though I did say it. But only because I am quite sure somebody has said that on this thread already in a snotty quote on quote sort of way.

But anyways! What the hell was I talking about? Oh ya!... Absolutely nothing.

Such a silly post

You're all ugly.
There, someone said it.
OP, pics or it didn't happen.

a reply to: rukia

i have found most of those that brag and think about being or say they are beautiful, usually aren't. inside or out, their outside beauty is usually fake, or an illusion to lure their pray, such as plastic surgery, fake breast are the worst,tummy tucks, face lifts, butt lifts, and so on. all are a manner of vanity the exception is only when it is done to do away with a horrendous condition. there are those who were perfectly gorgeous who have ruined their looks by going under the knife.

then there's the manner of dress, trying to wear something that does not fit right, inappropriate, trendy that doesn't look right on them,or wear something three times to small, that is just wrong. i don't care what your body shape is, you could have the most beautiful body in the world, but try to wear something that makes others look good and think it does for you to, and be one of the ugliest things walking around in it.

and here is the biggest point, pretty much like you said. most of those that think they are beautiful are bitches on wheels. who aren't beautiful at all just like to think they are and complain that others are mean to them.

humility is the key.

and let me say this, a lot of men are horn dogs, and will take a shot at any thing. so if your basing your "i'm beautiful " and "it's nice" on the responses that you get from men. your more than likely being duped, and being seen as no better than a piece of meat.

i say post a picture of yourself and let us see if you are before you claim it and complain about being treated badly.
and i implore you to be honset and post a real picture of your self.

a reply to: rukia

You are even more beautiful on the inside..

there is downsides : sexism jealousy prejudice etc

Typical. This always quickly degrades into cruel and childish responses.

There's a difference between who you, individually, would find attractive when looking for a mate or sexual partner,
and someone who is widely recognized as beautiful in your society.
When we're looking for a partner, often, we don't want those in that second catagory, for many reasons.

But as the article in the OP pointed out, there are people who have characteristics that are commonly considered attractive in the time and place they live in, and there are certain effects- like the "halo effect" mentioned, in which beautiful women will have more difficulty getting into positions of responsibility in work, though they may have an easier time getting hired in less important positions (compared to other applicants considered less beautiful).

There's the assumptions that beautiful people are empty headed or void of personality- often just because the person faced with them finds themselves paying more attention to the appearance than listening to what they say!

There is then also, the assumption that any sort of success they achieve, they got only because of their beauty and that halo effect....

We have lots of real nasty things we think, assume and act out towards people who are commonly considered beautiful- but of course it is politically incorrect to say it out loud and admit it. Just continue saying nasty things about the gorgeous woman at work, or snide jokes about gorgeous muscled man there- whether they really are airheads or not, they probably need you to keep their confidence down. (or to keep yours up. Whatever.)

a reply to: boymonkey74

Me and you both, brother. Me and you both.

ETA - Found one even better!

a reply to: Bluesma

There's a difference between who you, individually, would find attractive when looking for a mate or sexual partner, and someone who is widely recognized as beautiful in your society.

This is a bit contradictory. It is like you are saying we are not allowed our own personal taste and you dismiss it as not being equal to the social definition of beauty.

It is a little narrow minded I think. You are saying that those elitist men who dictate what society should define as beauty have a better eye for beauty and their sense of aesthetics counts more than what we think. Are we not worthy enough to define beauty on our own terms? Are we banned from adding our voice to what society deems beautiful?

Surely you know that the social definition of beauty changes radically through the ages. Art provides us with a record of social aesthetics through the ages. Look at what Victorians found beautiful and fourteenth century Florence. It is very different to today's aesthetics. Nothing is fixed.

What I find beautiful is just as valid as what the editor of Cosmopolitan finds beautiful. The two are nowhere near the same be assured. My aesthetics are just as valid. Please consider us mortals, too, and value our views as just as valid. I think the media is TOTALLY FASCIST and it gives women (and even some men) some wicked hang ups and psychological problems like bulimia, anorexia and self harming. Isn't that just so beautiful and socially healthy?

My goodness, this thread is bringing some right nastiness out in people. I tell you what I find very ugly indeed, that would even make Helen of Troy repulsive to my eyes, it is vanity, narcissism, snobbery and not valuing others views and tastes.

Joyeux Noel!

Seriously, I don't think just because one says they are beautiful means they are bitchy. It is the feedback they are given by society. As a child of 12, I was hated on by many girls since they were angry the boys they liked all seemed to like me. The fact I tried to explain wasn't my looks but my Tom boy attitude. Nothing the school could do to protect me from these girl bullies...they told my parents to remove me to another school. It was crazy! I had always tried to downplay my looks after that. I added on weight, kept my hair short, and made it through school looking less attractive.

I did grow up and wanted to be true to myself. My husband and I would not be together right now, if I did not see that he looked at my online photos on a dating site. He didn't even attempt to say anything to me. I messaged him, and he did say, his only thought looking at the most beautiful woman on the dating site was, "what could he say that every other guy hasn't already say?" So, yes, there are downsides to society perceiving you beautiful. If you overcome those downsides and acknowledge your beauty. Some will then perceive you as vain and / or unapproachable, thus leaving you alone.

a reply to: Bluesma

I think we give ourselves way to much credit sometimes as a specie and forget we are animals and have animalistic (dunno If that is a word I have had 5 drinks) feeling and such.
Will we evolve past all these feeling which we would like to suppress when we look at the opposite sex? Animalistic urges which are basic attraction be it to a super model or the girl at Salisburys behind the till?.
Like others have said we can't put a measure on attractiveness because we all have a different opinion.
I just know one thing I wuv you lot you are all attractive people who care about your views.

a reply to: DAVID64

Dark dark magic....I should know I was a redhead until the age of five...
I carry the gene..



All of them all of my ex wives.....


My point being in being silly is that I can not explain my love of ginger girls..it is in me I can not control it why is this? I dunno? I kinda blame Daphne from Scooby Doo I think and maybe Charlie Brown and the little red headed girl.
Or maybe they are rare I dunno? but the only girls I have ever fallen for are ginger.
Anyone care to psychoanalyses me .
Oh and 3 ex wives all ginger and mostly battered me...

originally posted by: hounddoghowlie
and let me say this, a lot of men are horn dogs, and will take a shot at any thing. so if your basing your "i'm beautiful " and "it's nice" on the responses that you get from men. your more than likely being duped, and being seen as no better than a piece of meat.

Warm and willing ticks 90% of men's boxes, the rest is pickiness should they ever be offered a buffet to choose from.

Not that we ladies are any better (or worse), when we shed the airs and graces.

a reply to: AdmireTheDistance

Oh good lord....How old are you, 15? I've got news for you: Beauty is entirely subjective, and you're not as beautiful as you think. Grow up and quit being so vain.

You just had to be first in line to prove the OP's point, didn't you? Well done.

originally posted by: boymonkey74
Oh and 3 ex wives all ginger and mostly battered me...

I think you like 'em extra feisty...the red hair tends to be part of that territory, and probably more incidental than anything to the decision making...I bet even the non-reds you go for are fire crackers.