The Downsides of Being Beautiful

The surprising downsides of being drop-dead gorgeous

Studies have shown that intelligence does correlate with beauty--specifically regarding the symmetrical nature of one's face. It makes sense to me that people are mean to beautiful people, but maybe that's just because that's been my personal experience. Well, people are both really nice and mean/jealous. It's difficult to make friends that don't end up stabbing you in the back. And that hurts, especially when it keeps happening. It's lonely, sometimes. But it's nice, too. The halo v. horns effect is quite real, let me assure you.

Anyway, I remember there being some discussion about this in recent weeks on ATS so I wanted to share it so we could all discuss. I'm not going to be offended by anything, and despite the downsides of being beautiful I wouldn't trade it for being ugly--if I'm being 100% completely honest. But beauty doesn't really matter all that much. Some of the most-beautiful people I know aren't actually very physically beautiful. But all of the physically beautiful people I know are quite beautiful, inside. But they're all kind of tortured and dark, too, in some ways. It's a double-edged sword for sure.

originally posted by: rukia
Studies have shown that intelligence does correlate with beauty--specifically regarding the symmetrical nature of one's face.

Source, please.

Well, people are both really nice and mean/jealous. It's difficult to make friends that don't end up stabbing you in the back.

That's true for anyone, and has absolutely nothing to do with one's perceived beauty.

I'm not going to be offended by anything, and despite the downsides of being beautiful I wouldn't trade it for being ugly. Personally, speaking. If I'm being 100% completely honest. I don't think that it's as bad as being really ugly. I think that would be much worse.

Oh good lord....How old are you, 15? I've got news for you: Beauty is entirely subjective, and you're not as beautiful as you think. Grow up and quit being so vain.

Conforming to standards of physical beauty compounded with crappy personality doesn't go very far with me.
If you look like a toad you should really work on polishing your personality.

a reply to: AdmireTheDistance

www.economist.com...

No. I'm talking symmetrical beauty. It's a mathematical equation. It's not subjective. I mentioned that already. Sounds like someone's jimmies are rustled.

There's info all over the internet. Studies, too. Go google it if you really want to know. It's not new information by any stretch of the imagination.

a reply to: skunkape23

That's not necessarily true. Plenty of people who look like toads are wonderful people with great hearts. I don't see what you're saying.

a reply to: AdmireTheDistance

She actually is beautiful though.

Regardless, beauty does have a objective quality generally we have common beliefs on what is aesthetically pleasing, and I think she has some points that people can in fact treat you differently because of "precieved beauty" but it is anecdotal.

I know that for me to be ready to engage a relationship the woman has to be atleast somewhat sexually appealing to me is that shallow?

Anyway, take it easy brother but come on man let Rukia make it hope you both had a good holiday

originally posted by: rukia
a reply to: skunkape23

That's not necessarily true. Plenty of people who look like toads are wonderful people with great hearts. I don't see what you're saying.

Maybe I didn't phrase it very well. I would take an ugly person with a good soul over a centerfold model who was ugly on the inside any day.

I have been told by my wife I am fairly handsome. And I know she is the most beautiful person in the world for me. Yea, I think that's all I got for now. We sure made some awesome kids together though!

I heard beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it seems like many view beauty and the world different. I don't mind though because life would be more dull if everyone believed the same thing and saw everyone the same way. Talking to some other guys online who posted pics of what turns them on, I know beauty does not look the same to everyone. The girls they posted pics of are turn offs for me.

There's something to the idea of objective beauty. Generally it means a symmetrical face. Woman (and men) generally have particular ratios for different things as well, like the distance between the eyes versus other features of their face. And shoulder/hip and waist/hip ratios are different too. This creates different standards of beauty between them, even though a symmetrical face seems to be universal. Sexual attraction can be different to different people, but is somewhat tied to gender template. For example, hetero men generally are attracted to woman who look like woman. And vice versa. Woman generally are attracted to men who look like men. Otherwise, they're bisexual or something else.

But I think we often forget beauty is not just on the outside. It's on the inside. It's not a cliche. It's absolutely true and the most important. It's our actions which define us and those come from inside. Beauty on the inside translates to a life well lived. Beauty on the inside best enables beauty on the outside. There're parallels in nature. Apples can look good on the outside and be rotten inside. They're unwanted the moment you bite into them. Conversely, you can see some spots and cracks on an apple, yet inside it's fine. And sometimes you'll find an apple which is bad on the outside AND the inside. Do not confuse with the prior example.

There's more info here:
en.wikipedia.org - Physical attractiveness stereotype...

In psychology, the physical attractiveness stereotype is about the tendency to assume that people who are physically attractive also possess other socially desirable personality traits. Stereotyping is the process by which we draw inferences about others based on knowledge of the categories to which they belong.

To my surprise I have been told by several people that I was beautiful but I never saw it in myself. After my divorce, from what was considered a handsome man, I decided I would never go with someone for their looks. Fell in love with someone and didn't realize this old man was cute/nice looking until later.

Really, looks are so irreverent they mean essentially nothing in a real relationship. Love comes from the soul....the face has nothing to do with anything except, imo to people who are looking for a superficial relationship or have no depth and are unwilling to take the time the see the depth of others.

edit to add the downside. There are those who will not approach someone they consider beautiful or handsome due to feeling unworthy just because of the way they perceive their looks.

Way too much advertising portraying presumed beautiful men and women.

a reply to: rukia

So basically...you are telling me you are drop dead gorgeous?

Pics or it didnt happen

a reply to: rukia

I think there is more of a downside to being ugly, imho.

The key downside to being beautiful/handsome/attractive is the same as the key downside to being wealthy and socially popular: envy from those that don't have these things.

I certainly agree that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but it would be disingenuous to say people who are attractive and wealthy don't GENERALLY have it easier in life compared to those without those traits and attributes.

In terms of universal, objective beauty: does such a thing exist? I don't know. There are certainly people of both sexes that would seem beautiful to close to 100% of the population, but unless you survey every single person then it is just speculation I guess.

originally posted by: Dark Ghost
The key downside to being beautiful/handsome/attractive is the same as the key downside to being wealthy and socially popular: envy from those that don't have these things.

I certainly agree that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but it would be disingenuous to say people who are attractive and wealthy don't GENERALLY have it easier in life compared to those without those traits and attributes.

In terms of universal, objective beauty: does such a thing exist? I don't know. There are certainly people of both sexes that would seem beautiful to close to 100% of the population, but unless you survey every single person then it is just speculation I guess.

There's such a thing as The Great Attractor:
www.ponderabout.com - We Are Racing Toward A "Cosmic Niagara"...

The mass objects in our vicinity are greatly attracted. Our galaxy is smitten with its loveliness. It's travelling over one million miles per hour to pursue its love interest. It's a cosmic romance.

Its a funny thing beauty . When i first started going out with my wife her nose had been broken in a basketball game and to be honest they did not set to good . Quite a few of my friends said , jeez mate you can do a lot better than that . To me it did not matter and to be honest after a while you dont notice anyway .I was in love with her just the way she was . Anyways a few years later , she had to have an operation on her nose , well not her nose but something in behind , something to do with her not getting enough oxygen while sleeping . Well she lucks out and gets one of Australias pioneer cranio facial surgeons and he just said may as well fix that nose while we are there . Well you can guess the rest , suddenly my so called mates , well not my real mates , they started to try to hit on her . Sadly for them , now they were the ones punching above their weight plus the fact they would hardly give her the time of day before the operation . Was i glad she had the operation , hell yes it was a health thing . The fact my wife was absolutely beautiful , to be honest i quite liked that slightly crooked nose . Moral of my story , havent got one really except she was the same person i loved before and after the operation .

a reply to: rukia

There's no downside. You just work with what you have.

Or you claim victimization.. And whine.. It's all the rage right now.



Too pretty? Dammit we're gonna have to start another support group.

a reply to: TechniXcality

I know that for me to be ready to engage a relationship the woman has to be atleast somewhat sexually appealing to me is that shallow?

No because that is rational.

Blaming your problems on your physical appearance is a cop out. And irrational.

Tell me about it....
being an incredibly handsome man (also modest) it has been a bain in my life...not enough boymonkey74 to go around.
sorry ladies ( and men).

a reply to: rockintitz

Yea, I agree with you looks can have some bearing on how people treat you but the truth is the way we approach the world generally dictates the reactions we get, if we want to change something we have to change the story's we tell ourselves and the actions we make.blaming others does nothing but encourage failure and depression.