Why Do You Need A HOLIDAY to give a CRAP?

a reply to: TNMockingbird

I am in anguish! I am unable to sleep, eat, or be jolly yet, I fake it not just at Christmas but, all of the time for my girls. 

I would long to wallow into a dark place, with no light, no sound, no touch, no emotion but, I CAN'T! 

Take it from an old fart that has travelled that path for more years than I thought was possible.

Life is a daily challenge filled with battles. You can't fight them all, and sometimes you don't get to pick the battles that you have to face.

My mother is my shining star. I watched her for years in so much agony, and I tried every doctor, every specialist, she was on 20+ pills a day. She was either too sick to get out bed or too zonked.

One day she said to me, " No more. " I looked at her and I knew exactly what she meant. The look on her face, I knew she meant business, and no argument I would make would change her mind. She said, "No more doctors and no more pills."

I said, "Fine, okay." She was of sound mind and an adult, she had the right to make that choice. It hurt me to my heart to just watch her move, but she never made a single complaint, and she never stopped doing or giving.

One morning about 2:00 am, I was awakened to what I thought was a toothache to my right shoulder. I thought I had just slept on it wrong. I was wrong and I won't go into the long history of how my condition progressed or how I deteriorated.

I found myself after being in bed for 3 months, in absolute agony, with no relief even in sleep. The pills either made me sick or they knocked me out, and one day just a little more than after 3 months of being in agony and bedbound, I woke up one morning and said, "Enough!" "No more doctors and no more pills."

I watched my mother in her agony for over 3 years, get through each day in absolute agony, with joy in her heart and always, always a smile. She begins her day before the sun comes up. She drives the children to the bus stop. The bus does not come down our bumpy dirt road, and mother doesn't want the children walking in the dark 5 miles to the bus stop, so she picks them up from their homes and drives them to the bus stop. She picks them up in the evening, and she takes them home. They are different ages, so she has to make six trips in all. She doesn't charge a dime. She works in the church and she is always the first to stand up to volunteer.

She says that her work gives her a purpose and as long as she is helping someone else, she doesn't have time to focus on herself and the pain. I had nothing to lose so I made myself get up and I made myself work through the agony. It wasn't easy at first and I had brief thoughts of how there had to be some other way to manage the agony. I knew that the pills were a trap. They didn't work, and I was not about to go down the road of dependence for something that didn't work half the time and made me sick the other half.

I tried over the counter crap with much the same result. So, like I said, I had nothing to lose, so I followed in my mothers shoes. I started to serve. I give what I can and what I give is more mental than physical but it has the same results.

When you are giving of yourself to help and support others, you don't have time to focus on the pains you are experiencing. So you see, you are not faking it. You are making it. Making a better life for those that need you, and making a better way for yourself.

Stay strong and Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Christmas comes but once a year.

But then so do I.

Why Do You Need A HOLIDAY to give a CRAP?

I don't give a **** even on holidays....oh, except on my birthday then I wan't lots of stuff and pats on the back...."atta boy" olaru12, you make the world a better place for all of us just by being you.

I forgot, halloween when I can dress up like a cowboy....yeehawwwww!

And Easters kinda fun with our trip to the bunny farm where we get to play with the rabbits....right George?

never mind....Merry Christmas!

a reply to: soulpowertothendegree

Happy Holiday to you...

a reply to: NightSkyeB4Dawn

You are awesome!

Thank you!

Merry Saturnalia, everybody!!!

S&F.

You have had some amazingly beautiful responses to your thread, it's hard to add more really. Perhaps these replies have hopefully given you a different perspective and gives you some comfort. Wishing you love, peace and some joy at this time and always.

The World is what you make it.

a reply to: soulpowertothendegree

It's time to watch, "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas."

Regardless if it happens one time a year or every day of the year, the fact that people are more charitable at all should be celebrated.

Merry Christmas to everyone on ATS.

a reply to: Night Star

The message was not intended to be a bah humbug...and i am not sad or lonely...I just simply think it is ridiculous that we need holidays to show we care...every day should be the same.

An excellent rant.

And you are on point. There is too much show.
But so angry. Bah Humbug.

I, just as others have pointed out, do a little extra on Holidays.
I find the commercialization of every human emotion appalling as you do. And I fight it.
But I also seize any occasion to make merry.

That is why we have Christmas all year round. We give to strangers, neighbors, family and friends gifts, food, help often throughout the year.

Christmas we just celebrate Jesus Birthday, even though we know he wasn't born on this day but about three months earlier. Kind of hard to weed Roman Catholicisms established day out of Christianity after 1700 years of influence but we work with it.

but it is sad you are correct it has become more of a commercialized sanitized and yes hypocritical time for many.

Equally sad is that it hurts you so deeply.

Merry Christmas and please be blessed this new year.

originally posted by: soulpowertothendegree
a reply to: Night Star

The message was not intended to be a bah humbug...and i am not sad or lonely...I just simply think it is ridiculous that we need holidays to show we care...every day should be the same.

Oh hell, you know me, I'm a love bug every day holiday or not. I am relieved to hear that you are not sad or lonely. Whew!

originally posted by: soulpowertothendegree
WOW. I hate holidays. They are just so full of hypocritical rhetoric crap. Every time a holiday comes around people suddenly pretend to give a crap. Why does it take a fake commercialized holiday of any kind for HUMANS to give a crap? Oh Happy Thanksgiving, now lets go beat each other up over sales on material crap. Oh Merry Freaking Christmas...now lets return all the presents we didn't like and while we are at it blow up a few mosques. Great, Happy New Year...another holiday to go get drunk and kill a family of 4...AWESOME....can't wait for Valentine's Day to tell the one you want to have sex with how much you love them....here now put this sexy lingerie on while I search for the Happy Easter eggs...oh wait nothing like a Fourth Of July to blow up fingers....Hooray.

I don't reserve my giving to holidays. I don't actually observe any officially. If I see a need and can help I do.

Another bit of charity I've learned to partake in is to not begrudge people their joy of giving, no matter when they choose to do it or how they wish to name it on a calendar.

Seems rather uncharitable not to.

Do you give gifts every day of the year?
Do you volunteer in a homeless shelter and hand out lunch every day of the year?
Do you visit children hospitals and give out toys and hugs every day of the year?

If not, pipe down from the peanut gallery.
If you do, may your magnanimous magnificence shine upon us mindless - heartless - shallow ones at least on this one day of the year.

I for one LOVE Valentines day! Whether I have a valentine or not! I'll buy my own damn self flowers and a box of chocolates if I have to! Who said anything about some dumb lingerie?!? It's the one time of year I don't feel bad for eating a bunch of chocolates.
And Easter is the best because out of nowhere I smell lily of the valley flowers in the air and it's wonderful!
All the other holidays... ehh?
But Christmas is not only about spending money... its about getting all Cheerful for... New Years! And then... Chinese New Years!
Traditions shared by the masses!
One can always find happiness on any given day, but it's nice to share with people traditions.
Thanks for the OP, I had to rant a bit too. Now I feel better.

originally posted by: zazzafrazz
Do you give gifts every day of the year?
Do you volunteer in a homeless shelter and hand out lunch every day of the year?
Do you visit children hospitals and give out toys and hugs every day of the year?

If not, pipe down from the peanut gallery.
If you do, may your magnanimous magnificence shine upon us mindless - heartless - shallow ones at least on this one day of the year.

Why do you only consider doing these things one day a year? What about the other 364?

a reply to: soulpowertothendegree

You could not have missed my point any more if tried......
Anyway Merry Christmas its about to strike midnight.

a reply to: NightSkyeB4Dawn

Agreed! I understand sometimes it's hard to project happy/nice/positive, but sometimes one just has to force oneself in order to start the cycle back to good.

Another thought i had on this topic is that people simply can't run at peak all of the time. Take professional sports as an example. Players will step it up an extra notch (the ol' sports cliché of "giving it 110%") People sometimes wonder why they weren't giving it their all, all of the time. It's just part of human nature. We all go through a myriad of moods, concerns, energy levels, etc. Life works best with moderated peaks and valleys. A steady drone, whether low, high or " middle-ish " isn't natural, healthy, or perhaps most importantly, interesting.