I'm 28 years old, I've never had a girlfriend or kissed anyone ever

a reply to: anobody
You seem like you're very sensitive. That is a POSITIVE not a NEGATIVE trait. Your only obstacle is in your own head.
Be comfortable with who you are and others will be comfortable with you.
Know that you're worthy of other's attention, and they will know you're worthy too.
Start with basic interactions, and then work your way up from there. (Spark up a conversation with a complete stranger, about anything...see how long the conversation can continue. No matter what topic comes up try to keep contributing, not just with your words, but with your energy.)
Smiles are contagious....soooo cheesy, I know, but the science is there. Humans are hard wired to detect and mimic others' emotions. Sometimes your 'neutral' look is actually off-putting. I personally suffer from RBF (resting bitch face) Lmao! Be sure that you have a warm, sincere expression when talking to others.

Jump in full force with your education. Not only will it improve you as a human being, but a college campus is the ultimate concentration of like minded persons and social activities. A college campus is like the real world on training wheels. You can make friends in your classes, you can find a cool coffee shop on or near campus, there are ENDLESS clubs and organizations. Hell, I'm in the middle of BFE Texas and our dinky little public library has an anime club. You may even be able to see some kind of counselor for free or cheap through the uni.
Like one PP said: Stay off the internet! Stay off video games! Anything you're using as a substitute for the real world needs to go.

Work on yourself first. Make an effort to improve general interactions second. When you're comfortable with THAT, then start focusing more on girls for the purpose of dating. By the time you GET to dating you will have made so much improvement that it won't be near so intimidating.

originally posted by: Layaly

There is no stopping point in life. There is no point where you say, "Ok, now I'm in the right circumstances I can get married." or "Now I'm in the right circumstances I can have a baby." There is no stopping point. You just find the point that's close enough, take a deep breath and jump in feet first!

WoW impressive coaching skills !!!
I really enjoyed reading that.. It helped me on a completely unrelated matter .. So thx you

Well, I think you're a complete ass for coming on this thread and making fun of everyone. First, the OP, who is trying to overcome the overwhelming- and probably seemingly impossible task- of suddenly at almost mid-life learning social skills that everyone else takes for granted. And second, all the people on here, right or wrong, funny or strange, and their suggestions to help the OP.

But... if some of my advice helped you then you're welcome. I'm only 37 but I've lived more in those years than most do in THREE lifetimes. I know my sh*t.


Here's some more advice for you: karma is a b*tch. Your attitude is coming back on you tenfold, and it is not going to be pretty.

a reply to: ladyvalkyrie

What I said to you was real .. so again thank you .. it was really nice reading your replies you could make a hell of a living from what you did here


good night ATS

Cx

Here is a link that may help you find a group of people with the same interests. It's a nationwide program that allows groups, and people to form special interests, and meetup with each other.

It's no pressure, come as you like. This way you can warm up to people slowly and get to know them without any commitment, in the beginning.

Meetup.com

Hiring a professional is another option, but this would only be a short term thing to see what sex is about. If you are looking for a connection, and a long term commitment; I would say this avenue may give you a false sense of what is involved with a woman.

Another option is looking for your local soup kitchens and volunteer groups, lots of wonderful women in these kinds of organizations that have hearts of gold.

And lastly. Sex comes with huge responsibilities if you have a relationship with someone. Lot's of people will joke about sex, but when it comes right down to it, if you get the woman pregnant you have a lifelong commitment.

Choose wisely, and have fun too.

a reply to: Layaly

I really appreciate that. People come into your life for a day, a reason or a season. And as amused by the rest of the thread as you were, maybe it was just a front for the universe to get a message to YOU. I've done/witnessed a lot of amazing stuff. I've done/witnessed a lot of suffering as well. And if anyone can use my experience as a stepping stone to get a little higher on their own ladder....well, that's just icing on the cake!

Feel free to PM me if you have anything specific that you would like some input on. * This goes for anyone, not just Laylaly.

a reply to: ladyvalkyrie

Thank you
I really am going through a screwy situation I came into this thread to chill from the situation till I came to your posts.. it all applied.. I took snapshots of some things so I have them handy.. The above reply I have shivers running down my spine .. And I do mean it .. I've worked for a training coaching centre (so you get the 'advice' even if you don't want it) but this .. I am impressed its really on level of a professional psychologist..

No I have been a huge fan of yours (love the energy)
Even have some old pms to prove it sorry it came across so sh**y when it was truly meant

a reply to: Layaly
I just went back and read the thread 'cover to cover'. Some of the posts ARE entertaining. But when the OP is fragile and afraid of people making fun of him....then someone making fun of him is a major kick in the balls.

But obviously you're not a vicious person, you were just making light of this thread to deflect from your own issues. No harm, no foul.

And your compliments for me are super cool. It's frustrating when I know I'm right about something but it's like I'm talking to a damn wall. Some idiot can make the most inane comment ever and get 10,000 likes. I bust out with a very helpful, insightful, universal truth...and get maybe 1. Oh well. If ONE mo fo reads the 'novels' I write in my posts and gets something beneficial then it's all worth it.

Not sure if you caught any of my RV threads, but I've got a fairly decent track record with that. Send me a PM and I'll bust out with my crystal ball and see what message the universe has for you!


ATS RV Thread

I won teh stars wars

my idiocy beat intelligence

a reply to: anobody

You need to just go for it man. If you want to kiss a girl you have to be prepared to be turned down AAALLLLL the time. Trust me.

I consider myself a good looking guy, kinda awkward and super weird sometimes. I also have trouble coming up with an interesting conversation with MOST women. I find most people, especially women to be extremely boring, dull, ignorant, stuck up, full of themselves, brainwashed, misguided, or just annoying. So when I get turned down by them, it doesn't matter in the least to me.

I don't let it bother me at all anymore. I've been turned down by both models and fat chicks.
I've also hooked up with fat girls and models. Even a fat girl and a skinny girl at the same time. Haha.

What you need is called a slump buster. A girl you have no emotional attachment to. That way you can build your confidence up, know the enjoyment of sexuality, and be enthusiastic about going to get yourself some more.

Also don't worry about what anyone else thinks, not dudes, not girls, NO ONE. This doesn't mean be an asshole, just don't worry about what other people think of you. Have confidence in yourself, relax, and realize that nothing really matters.

originally posted by: TheSpanishArcher
a reply to: Doodle19815

Develop a corny joke

I got this one.

Guy goes to a doctor, really freaked out.

"Doc, I'm freaking out! I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee!"

Doc, in his best Aaron Rodgers voice, says, "Relax, you are two tents".

Easy to remember and it works on everyone, except those who don't know what a wigwam is. Seriously, it's as corny as all hell but it works everywhere.

Sorry to be totally off topic but did anyone see Modern Family last night? They used this same bloody joke. Claire had less than stellar results but she told it wrong in the first place. Anyway, I thought the timing was a little odd - seriously, I tell this joke two weeks ago and then it pops up on television? - but that's frikking life, always throwing curve balls I can't hit.

a reply to: anobody

So how did it go? Have you tried any of the tips given on this thread? If open to public, I would surely like to know how things are going...

a reply to: Op3nM1nd3d

Hi. Yes I'm trying to be a more positive and open person, and I think that's important thing to do, right? I mean I'm trying to help myself by reading self-help books, self-confidence books and such. But yeah, I mean I just always get rejected that I'm basically used to it. I don't know how to explain but I definitely don't settle for less.

Looking back, I think my biggest problem is probably self-hate, I self criticize a lot...I'm not sure, but I'm still struggling academically. However few hours ago I texted this girl saying we should study for finals but she said she'd rather stay in pjs and study on couch.....oh well.

a reply to: anobody

We were hoping for your Katy Perry moment.



shoot a txt saying we should go out and have some fun, studying... bleeeeeeeech.

I probably need to learn to be less hard on myself, but....I don't know. Maybe the universe doesn't like me lol.

a reply to: anobody

You should have told her you would come over in your PJs and study with her on the couch.

Find a hobby that interests you and join a club that involves it. Painting, reading, gaming, equestrian, heck join your local Masonic lodge. Start with a small group of friends and move from there. Still wishing you luck.

a reply to: Doodle19815

Thanks, I also think the constant lack of confidence is also the major factor. So I'm trying to fix that as well.

Thank you friend, and thanks guys. I will keep you updated. Maybe I'll find a girl in a few months or years, or either I'll be dead from the suicide, haha.

a reply to: anobody

By your post I can tell that you are on a right track...just don`t worry too much. I think you are being perfectionist and this is currently working against you but only in your mind. I`m telling you right here right now...when a girl sees you for who you are, she will defintely like you because you will always be mindful and never forget about the little things that she loves. Instead of keep paying attention to yourself, questioning yourself whether or not you are doing things the right way n stuff, pay attention to her, just let go and give in to conversation. Once it happens you will know and she will know and you will feel invigorated. You are not far...

Ps. You should have texted her for a coffee break instead You still can...

a reply to: anobody

Oh almost forgot...if she says no that she doesn`t have the time, you tell her "cmon don`t be such a geek, cmon it will do you good to relax a little...and I`m paying"

a reply to: Op3nM1nd3d

I actually just complimented the different girl about the change in her haircut. I think she appreciated the text message, and told her best of luck on finals as well.

I mean, obviously self confidence is the important part and I'm trying to find this most of the time. It's obviously well known that the people who are successful got to where they are today through self confidence. Success doesn't happen overnight, you need a time frame for it, right? But the question is, how long do I have to wait?

Still, in my early twenties I was trying to support myself financially I guess, and working odd jobs. I think my counsellor told me that I'm on the right track, at least I hope.