thoughts about dating an older person.. much older

originally posted by: saiyankev
just to add.... we already kissed. was a bit rushed on my part tho because I was a bit nervous and wasn't sure how she'd react and I was a hurry to clock back into work.. (was 3 minutes late because I kissed her but don't care)
first hugged her from the side as I kissed her cheek, then as she walked around I got closer and kissed her lips... she knew what I was doing but something went wrong.. still touched lips tho and I loved it and she seemed to too.. I think

This sounds creepy/borderline stalker.

Keep your hands to yourself at work.

If she won't meet you outside of work leave her alone.

a reply to: abe froman

Haha, I didn't catch it but that last part admittedly is very suspect.

If she is telling you about her vibrator before you are even intimate with her, she is playing with you like a little puppy. She doesn't seem to respect herself very much, so she probably won't respect you either.

Take at least 6 months to get to know her in all kinds of situations before you commit to her.

soulwaxer

originally posted by: saiyankev


ya earlier death and less likely for kids... 2 big problems

At one time I was seeing someone who was 12 years younger than

me and he always said that as women traditionally had a longer

life span than men (an average of 10/12 years) that ^^^^ wouldn't

be a problem.


But if you want children you'll both have to get your skates on!!


And remember *There's many a fine tune played on an old fiddle!*

originally posted by: rukia
I think she's using you. If you were older, like into your 30's--then my answer might be different. But, being 24 myself, I feel the need to caution you against getting involved like that. You have to ask yourself why she isn't going after men her own age. Compared to her--in terms of age, experience, etc--you are a child. I have a friend who is in his 40's and he's dating a girl in her early 30's. They're about to have a kid together. Before he started dating her, he was dating people around my age and constantly breaking up and dating new people. He even tried to flirt with me--but I kept him strictly friend-zoned. Because while I like knowing this person, he likes to do things that seem a bit juvenile for his age--like drinking all of the time and going out instead of being a normal 40 year old guy with responsibilities. He's a good friend--but I can't imagine dating him.

I think the reason that older women go for younger men is to make themselves feel younger and more desirable. In doing so, they're taking advantage of the young man. And, please excuse me for saying this, but young men are controlled by their penis. It's a fact. And it's nothing to be ashamed of in any way because it is just the way that things are. You need to put your sexual feelings aside and use your brain to consider this dilemma that you're in.

I totally understand why you're in to her--she's older. More experienced. Not as flighty and catty as younger girls--more settled-down. But on that same note, you are nothing like an older man. Being immature is nothing to be ashamed of because it is what you are at the moment--same with me. I think that her maturity is what entices you. And that's a great thing to be attracted to--but there are plenty of mature people your age, too. There is something to be said about growing up together--as a team. The large age gap is fine--but more-so when both parties are a bit older than 25. I don't think you fully understand what you're getting yourself into and I think you need to exercise great caution. The way you are attracted to her sounds as though she is manipulating you. Women are manipulators--we are not as simple as men. Keep that in mind.

Also, what is her position at your job? Is she higher up than you? If not, that's a red flag.

Now, I'm sure that I could be wrong, but generally-speaking I do not believe that what you're talking about is a good idea.

I wish you luck, good sir.

well ya at first I was interested just for the potential sex, then she seemed into me for more which surprised me.. ya could be wrong.. could be used but right now it seems fine... no one else my age or any age wants me so why not, can be fun
we have the same position, neither of us are higher up

originally posted by: abe froman

originally posted by: saiyankev
just to add.... we already kissed. was a bit rushed on my part tho because I was a bit nervous and wasn't sure how she'd react and I was a hurry to clock back into work.. (was 3 minutes late because I kissed her but don't care)
first hugged her from the side as I kissed her cheek, then as she walked around I got closer and kissed her lips... she knew what I was doing but something went wrong.. still touched lips tho and I loved it and she seemed to too.. I think

This sounds creepy/borderline stalker.

Keep your hands to yourself at work.

If she won't meet you outside of work leave her alone.

oh no no not that she wouldn't meet me, we texted, she said she was near by. so we met up and talked a bit. she smiled and laughed, wasn't creepy.. is it was then she wouldn't have told me she was nearby or let me near her, plus she started this whole thing by telling me things and then giving me her number

originally posted by: soulwaxer
If she is telling you about her vibrator before you are even intimate with her, she is playing with you like a little puppy. She doesn't seem to respect herself very much, so she probably won't respect you either.

Take at least 6 months to get to know her in all kinds of situations before you commit to her.

soulwaxer

funny u say 6 months because that's how long I've been working at this job, so in a way I did take 6 months to know her ... even tho we didn't really starr talking until 1 month ago

I didn't wanna to commit to her, I was expecting just sex, the kiss was nice too, then she brought dating... being played or not... the sex should still be fun (if we ever do it)

a reply to: saiyankev

Really the AGE difference is not that great. Someone I know has been happily married to someone else I know for well over twenty years and their children have grown with two spliffingly good parents, just about the same age gap. Quite workable as long as you realise that when you are 50 they will be retiring.

Personally as a something possibly resembling the male of the species I am not interested in young things. I like similar age best or even a little older. Maturity is indeed quite sexy! Good luck if you dare.

It's all crap. Become a eunuck and/or free yourself like the buddhist, minus the missing extra. Seriously it's all crap love is. Never lasts, all is forgotten and then you pass away like leaves in the wind on a sunless cool day. Enjoy your life and enjoy being whole all by yourself.

originally posted by: awareness10
It's all crap. Become a eunuck and/or free yourself like the buddhist, minus the missing extra. Seriously it's all crap love is. Never lasts, all is forgotten and then you pass away like leaves in the wind on a sunless cool day. Enjoy your life and enjoy being whole all by yourself.

Not agreeing with you on that, love can last there are many elderly couples that stayed a lifetime together and in love, if lifetime partners are rare to day blame that on technologically driven short attention span and distractions through non or lack of communication, matter of fact it is often stated that when one half of an elderly couple dies the other follows within two yrs or so .

Don't want to hurt your feelings, but from what you've said about her here, I think you might be setting yourself up for a disappointment. She likes the 'idea' of you...i.e. having a young guy interested in her. It's an ego-boosting thing.

You sound way too interested in the whole thing...and she's taking note of your enthusiam...and it feeds her ego.

We pursue that which retreats from us...

Be a little less obvious to her regarding your interest in her...play a little harder to get and see if she is willing to actually pursue you...or if she is just enjoying the idea of you chasing her.

Again, working together and dating is generally frought with unseen consequences.

a reply to: saiyankev

If she says she is 39...she's prob. 45-46. Sorry ladies...no offense....but it's the old "Well...I'm only 39!....when the reality is perhaps that sounds better.

a reply to: awareness10

Ahh, now that's the awareness I know!

Scorned, nihilistic love perspective, but hey you might be right, id like to believe you are wrong but my story isn't completely written yet, so I keep hope for such a thing, while fleeting yet still hoping.

originally posted by: Kali74
a reply to: saiyankev

If you want children, I would think long and hard first.

haha lol, was that a Freudian slip?

originally posted by: mysterioustranger
a reply to: saiyankev

If she says she is 39...she's prob. 45-46. Sorry ladies...no offense....but it's the old "Well...I'm only 39!....when the reality is perhaps that sounds better.

no she didn't say her age, her face book said a birthdate and year so that's how I know

a reply to: FlySolo

Lmfao, you know that's wrong that's just wrong.

a reply to: TechniXcality

lol c'mon it was wide open just begging for it.

originally posted by: Kali74
a reply to: saiyankev

If you want children, I would think long and hard first.

If you DON'T want children, think long, hard...and latex.

Give it five more years, she'll look like an old leather hippy purse.

a reply to: awareness10 You just broke my heart. Or what was left of it.