thoughts about dating an older person.. much older

a reply to: saiyankev
If you both want children, you'll have them whether by birth or by adoption. But if only one partner wants children, the path is rocky indeed. I've watched 3 happy marriages fall apart when a third person (a baby---or the need for a baby) was introduced into the relationship.
Take your time and have fun getting to know one another and being sure you want this relationship to continue for at least 18 years before thinking about introducing a third person.
Please believe me, if she is the one those jibes and jabs from jealous people will roll right off your back. Whenever some unkind person would make reference to my "Sugar Daddy" that old country song, "I Feel Sorry for Anyone Who Isn't Me Tonight" would drift through my mind and make me smile.

Edit to add: Don't worry about the sex. If it's good now, it will still be great in 30 or 40 years.

a reply to: saiyankev

I don't know man, don't ask us. Go for it! I personally am attracted to older women, not granny's or anything but with ten years ain't a problem for me, and they know what the hell they are doing, what they want, generally are more secure, and you don't have to guide them like young women which is unnatractive at least to me.

Rock and roll, make her feel young again.

I know a few older women in their 50's who would be fun to date, even though I am only 30. When I was in college, my room-mate dated an older friend of ours who was in her 40's then I think. He was around 22. It worked out really well, she is what you call a cougar. I am still friends with the lady - as for my room-mate and friend, he disappeared somewhere in Africa.

Their relationship was really good, in fact it was better than one of the relationships my friend had with someone his own age.

originally posted by: Bovah2
a reply to: saiyankev

I'd hit it and quit it.

Are y'all on the same maturity level?

Your post is unintentionally hilarious.

originally posted by: diggindirt
a reply to: saiyankev
If you both want children, you'll have them whether by birth or by adoption. But if only one partner wants children, the path is rocky indeed. I've watched 3 happy marriages fall apart when a third person (a baby---or the need for a baby) was introduced into the relationship.
Take your time and have fun getting to know one another and being sure you want this relationship to continue for at least 18 years before thinking about introducing a third person.
Please believe me, if she is the one those jibes and jabs from jealous people will roll right off your back. Whenever some unkind person would make reference to my "Sugar Daddy" that old country song, "I Feel Sorry for Anyone Who Isn't Me Tonight" would drift through my mind and make me smile.

Edit to add: Don't worry about the sex. If it's good now, it will still be great in 30 or 40 years.

I want my own kids from my own dna, adoption is a later thought
no idea how the sex will be but I'm feeling it'll be really fun, she already told me she has a vibrator and then I responded that if we hung out she won't need it.. then she responsed... "fine" then to make sure I asked if she's taking my offer and she said "yep" so ya... this... might be really fun

originally posted by: TechniXcality
a reply to: saiyankev

I don't know man, don't ask us. Go for it! I personally am attracted to older women, not granny's or anything but with ten years ain't a problem for me, and they know what the hell they are doing, what they want, generally are more secure, and you don't have to guide them like young women which is unnatractive at least to me.

Rock and roll, make her feel young again.

I'm attracted to younger women but her.. idk.. something about her... I'm all in

a reply to: saiyankev

Wow, gonna have a freaky conversation and not capitalize right then and there, we differ in that way, anyway cheers lol the good old my junk is better than your toy line, hey she must like you to play along! I think she digs you man.

originally posted by: darkbake
I know a few older women in their 50's who would be fun to date, even though I am only 30. When I was in college, my room-mate dated an older friend of ours who was in her 40's then I think. He was around 22. It worked out really well, she is what you call a cougar. I am still friends with the lady - as for my room-mate and friend, he disappeared somewhere in Africa.

Their relationship was really good, in fact it was better than one of the relationships my friend had with someone his own age.

sounds good, helps me think it might work out, happiness is what matters.. not age

I have a huge age gap with my relationship but don't even notice it... similar personalities, dreams and level of responsibility. I'd say go for it.

originally posted by: TechniXcality
a reply to: saiyankev

Wow, gonna have a freaky conversation and not capitalize right then and there, we differ in that way, anyway cheers lol the good old my junk is better than your toy line, hey she must like you to play along! I think she digs you man.

I'm not sure if ur comment was meant as a good or bad thing but ya I think she does like me, kissed, talked about a vibrator but took my offer (have not had sex yet but she's open to it when we can), she actually started this... we were both working. I helped her out and she said she likes me because I do my job unlike others.. which I took it as she likes me as a person, not lazy, etc etc... but she really meant.. like like.. did not expect that at all, thought she was just really friendly

My husband is 12 years older than me. To the day. We both have July 4th B-days. It hasn't been an issue for us. We have been married for 14 years and have 3 children. We heard a few jabs in the beginning, but only in good humor. We have a lot in common and make each other laugh. Don't let age alone be the thing that stands in your way.

originally posted by: Kentuckymama
My husband is 12 years older than me. To the day. We both have July 4th B-days. It hasn't been an issue for us. We have been married for 14 years and have 3 children. We heard a few jabs in the beginning, but only in good humor. We have a lot in common and make each other laugh. Don't let age alone be the thing that stands in your way.

ok ty, I guess if she doesn't work out then I can still be open to the whole older women thing

Do you work with this woman?
If so,...is she in a supervisory position?

You are very welcome. Good luck.

a reply to: saiyankev

Does she cook and clean?

I think she's using you. If you were older, like into your 30's--then my answer might be different. But, being 24 myself, I feel the need to caution you against getting involved like that. You have to ask yourself why she isn't going after men her own age. Compared to her--in terms of age, experience, etc--you are a child. I have a friend who is in his 40's and he's dating a girl in her early 30's. They're about to have a kid together. Before he started dating her, he was dating people around my age and constantly breaking up and dating new people. He even tried to flirt with me--but I kept him strictly friend-zoned. Because while I like knowing this person, he likes to do things that seem a bit juvenile for his age--like drinking all of the time and going out instead of being a normal 40 year old guy with responsibilities. He's a good friend--but I can't imagine dating him.

I think the reason that older women go for younger men is to make themselves feel younger and more desirable. In doing so, they're taking advantage of the young man. And, please excuse me for saying this, but young men are controlled by their penis. It's a fact. And it's nothing to be ashamed of in any way because it is just the way that things are. You need to put your sexual feelings aside and use your brain to consider this dilemma that you're in.

I totally understand why you're in to her--she's older. More experienced. Not as flighty and catty as younger girls--more settled-down. But on that same note, you are nothing like an older man. Being immature is nothing to be ashamed of because it is what you are at the moment--same with me. I think that her maturity is what entices you. And that's a great thing to be attracted to--but there are plenty of mature people your age, too. There is something to be said about growing up together--as a team. The large age gap is fine--but more-so when both parties are a bit older than 25. I don't think you fully understand what you're getting yourself into and I think you need to exercise great caution. The way you are attracted to her sounds as though she is manipulating you. Women are manipulators--we are not as simple as men. Keep that in mind.

Also, what is her position at your job? Is she higher up than you? If not, that's a red flag.

Now, I'm sure that I could be wrong, but generally-speaking I do not believe that what you're talking about is a good idea.

I wish you luck, good sir.

Sounds like you've already made up your mind
a caution though.. dating someone you work with rarely works out well. Maybe it will work for you guys.
Good luck , enjoy each other's company and see where it takes you. (No need to spring the 'kid' thing on anyone yet haha)

a reply to: Starcrossd

Agreed. If you want to go ahead, that's all up to you. But try to be friends first. Get to know one another and try to keep the sex for when the time is right. And if you don't want to marry this person, wear protection. Because it would really suck to have to pay child support at a time in your life when you're just starting out.

Work relationships rarely, if ever, work out.

But yeah, be a man and do you. It's your life. Live and learn.

Take your chances when you get'em.
What could go wrong?
It's always better to regret things you have done than things you haven't done.

Ten years ago, my sister was 40 when she married a 28 year old man. They are still married today, happier than ever, and have two kids. They make a fabulous team! Now, I don't know if marriage and family is on your horizon, but I can definitely say, it has the potential to work out quite nicely.

Also my husband is 11 years older than I am and it seems to be working out well for us, too.