99 Ways to Annoy an Atheist

originally posted by: Woodcarver

originally posted by: undo

originally posted by: stargatetravels

originally posted by: undo
on. my sister is one of the ladies who speaks in the events. she's been speaking at them since ..........well for at least 20 years. she woke me up from a coma. i love my sis.

Were you religious before this event or did this convert you, just wondering?

i was a christian but didn't attend a church.

You rebel, you.

i think there was one church for 100s of square kilometers, and it wasn't my cup of tea.

#3 made me chuckle. Although atheists aren't "religious" by dictionary definition, it's still a belief system considering it cannot be definitively proved or disproved with our current understanding of the universe.

Also unicorns, the tooth fairy and santa claus can't be proven to not exist. Don't you see where that line of thinking goes? We don't believe peoples claims that a god exists. It's not a belief system. It is us saying, "Where is your proof that the god you believe in is real?"
And then you say "i really really feel like it's real." And then we are like, "that #s not real, you can't prove it."

And then you're like, "but i really really really think it's real. "

So we're like, "prove it then."

And then you're like, "science isn't real. God can hide from science cuz science isn't real. god told me so. Atheism is a religion cuz you caint prove god aint real. "

To which i say. "I will only believe in god if he comes down and everyone can see him. Not just you, right as you're at your lowest about to commit suicide and then the phone rings and it was someone you were just thinking about and you are like, "god made that person call me so i wouldn 't eat this handful of pills. Isn't god great?"

That # is not very convincing.

Also, nice appeal to authority there with Sagan. Just because he felt like being inclusive and calling himself agnostic does nothing to prove that god is real. The fact still remains that there are no good reasons to believe that any gods exist. Zero evidence for the existence of any gods. Means no good reason to believe.




a reply to: Konduit

God is imaginary....prove its not? And that's the ONE way you annoy a person of faith. Go ahead and suspend reality as we know it to prove Gods not imaginary.

originally posted by: Konduit
#3 made me chuckle. Although atheists aren't "religious" by dictionary definition, it's still a belief system considering it cannot be definitively proved or disproved with our current understanding of the universe.

Ohmygosh, why are theists so desperate to stick a belief system label on to people who lack belief in gods?!

Theist = believes in a god.
Atheist = does not believe in any gods.

I was taught to believe in the Christian 'God' as a child. I grew up, questioned it, investigated all the major conflicting religions of the world then realised that they are all completely unverifiable. Not a shred of supporting evidence outside of multiple translated old texts written by (again) unverifiable authors.
With no evidence stronger than the testimony of others I stopped believing in any 'higher power'.

It requires faith/belief to state that gods exist.
It requires faith/belief to state that gods do not exist.
It requires zero faith/belief to state that one does not believe in gods. Lack of belief in gods is the only requirement to be categorised as atheist.

Granted, there are atheists who do 'believe' there are no gods but such folk do not have the monopoly of the term atheist. A simple lack of belief = atheist.

I am pleased it is getting better on the internet over the years with much less religious ignorance and zealotry, certainly on ATS, but please people, educate yourselves and don't just believe the pastors definition of an atheist. It is silly, and rather pathetic.

Atheist is simply a wide umbrella term for 'one who does not believe in gods', it is not a term specifically describing 'one who believes there are no gods' - although I accept there are some atheists who 'believe' gods do not exist.

I could be described as an agnostic atheist, but it makes me no less atheist.
There are agnostic theists as well, sheesh some people should study some basic high school level philosophy.

originally posted by: openyourmind1262
God is imaginary....prove its not? And that's the ONE way you annoy a person of faith. Go ahead and suspend reality as we know it to prove Gods not imaginary.

The easiest way to annoy a theist is simply ask for evidence.


There is a thread on here asking for evidence of creationism, it is 19 pages in and the evidence provided is still stuck at zero. The theists seem really annoyed by that.

originally posted by: Grimpachi

originally posted by: openyourmind1262
God is imaginary....prove its not? And that's the ONE way you annoy a person of faith. Go ahead and suspend reality as we know it to prove Gods not imaginary.

The easiest way to annoy a theist is simply ask for evidence.


There is a thread on here asking for evidence of creationism, it is 19 pages in and the evidence provided is still stuck at zero. The theists seem really annoyed by that.

www.abovetopsecret.com...

for anyone interested. bring your own popcorn.

a reply to: Grimpachi

Lol @ both your points

I have an open mind as do all my atheist friends, so if some groundbreaking new evidence could be verified then I'd be happy to say "Wow, so there is a god after all" and it would not trouble me. I've never said "There are no gods" just that I don't believe in any due to complete lack of evidence.
Just a single televised miracle perhaps, you know 'feed the 5000 Syrian refugees' or something. Strange how there hasn't been a single 'miracle' in the thousands of years since various conflicting 'holy' books were written.

Regarding 'that' thread, I've stayed out of it, ridiculous arguments only a brainwashed zealot could consider as anything even close to logical reasoning or balanced consideration of evidence.

I'm a spiritual person, but would never use this list, as it's mostly what fundamentalist Christians say. also, it plays into the false dichotomy of atheist versus uber religious people.

originally posted by: Metallicus
First, I do apologize for my link leading to a Facebook post. I truly despise Facebook and to a lesser extent all social media and I know many of you don't have an account.

Second, I love to play devil's advocate and at times troll certain groups of self-righteous individuals that I find amusing or annoying and one of my favorite targets is Atheists. While I do like to poke fun at them at times I generally feel sorry for them so this is intended in jest and not so much as trying to kick a group of people while they are down.

Thirdly, I am not religious, but consider myself spiritual. I don't know exactly what form the Prime Mover takes, but I am convinced there is more to this elegant universe of ours than some random mixing of gasses and liquids.

Anyway, please see HERE for the complete list, but I have posted some highlights below for those of you that can't or don't wish to view the post on Facebook.

99 Ways to Annoy an Atheist
1. Ask her why they are bitter against God.
3. At every available opportunity refer to Atheism as "a religion".
6. Use multiple versions of Pascal's Wager as though you thought them up yourself.
12. Use the fact that the Atheist can't fully explain to you how the universe was formed as evidence that god done it.
14. Say you will pray for her; And make sure they know you said it out of spite.
15. No matter how many times you are corrected and how much evidence you see to the contrary ... Always claim that America is a Christian nation founded by Christians on Christian principles.
16. Say that separation of church and state isn't in the Constitution; insist that the Constitution is based on the Ten Commandments.
17. Accuse them of persecuting you.
18. Point out that we all take things on faith.
19. Use the Second Law of Thermodynamics to disprove evolution.
20. Before starting an argument, say "You're an atheist? That means you're going to hell!"
21. After losing the argument say, "I pity you."
29. Insist that the Bible is meant to be taken literally — all except that verse they just showed you.
42. Claim that logic is the atheist's god.
43. Use only circular reasoning.
46. Use the phrase "Hate the sin, love the sinner" as a blanket response to the notion that Christianity is at fault for something.
47. State that Christianity has done a lot of good along with all the mass murder.
48. When they take the time and trouble to explain where your analogy or interpretation is at fault, begin your response with a *sigh*, so he'll know how patient you're being.
52. Tell them that Christians aren't perfect — just forgiven.
58. Tell them it's his responsibility to prove that God doesn't exist.
64. When something awful happens, tell them not to blame God — he doesn't interfere.
65. When something wonderful happens, tell them to credit God — he made it happen.
67. …then tell them that babies automatically go to heaven.
68. …and mentally retarded people.
69. …and those with Down's Syndrome.
70. Treat nothing they says as credible, because they are possessed by Satan.

Enjoy!

originally posted by: Sremmos80
None of these would really annoy an Atheist, just make them laugh.

I hope who ever made this list wasn't serious, I did get a good laugh from it.

I am agnostic more tho, so maybe that is why.

Yes exactly. They are only irritating in so far as many of the points are idiotic, so the conversation goes nowhere. The points only degrade fundamentalist Christians' credibility further. I have heard most of these before.

originally posted by: DISRAELI
a reply to: Metallicus
The list omits two that can easily be picked up from ATS postings;
X; Tell them you're an agnostic
Y; Tell them that they ought to call themselves agnostics.

We need to add the ultimate to this list: claim to not be a Christian but then say or post statements like in the list: "I'm not a Christian but I don't see any reason the Bible isn't the word of God."

a reply to: Quetzalcoatl14

Such a statement only supports the idea that people of faith do not think logically.
...oh, and I repeat, an atheist is just someone who does not believe in any gods. It is not a term to describe those who believe gods do not exist.
Lack of belief in itself rewards one with the atheist label. No added value required or claimable.

*Edit*
The more I think about it the more the list in the OP appears to just ridicule those of faith lol.

originally posted by: grainofsand
a reply to: Quetzalcoatl14

Such a statement only supports the idea that people of faith do not think logically.
...oh, and I repeat, an atheist is just someone who does not believe in any gods. It is not a term to describe those who believe gods do not exist.
Lack of belief in itself rewards one with the atheist label. No added value required or claimable.

*Edit*
The more I think about it the more the list in the OP appears to just ridicule those of faith lol.

I hear what you are saying. The reason that it is good satire however is that I've heard many of these kinds of statements from Christians, even to myself.

I think that most fundamentalists do not think logically, at least when it comes to religion.

I think we have to differentiate though. It's not that fundamentalists don't think logically in all areas of their life, it's that they have a quarantined zone where religion resides, and faith reigns.

My Mother is a perfect example. She is a very capable professional lawyer, mother, etc, and has three degrees. When it comes to everything outside of religion, she is perfectly reasonable, moderate, rationale, somewhat skeptical, etc. With religion it's as if she shuts off her normal brainpower.

We also need to avoid the false dichotomy of scientists versus fundamentalist religious people. While both extremes can exist, most people fall in the middle if they are honest and there are places for logic in a spiritual framework.

originally posted by: Quetzalcoatl14

originally posted by: DISRAELI
a reply to: Metallicus
The list omits two that can easily be picked up from ATS postings;
X; Tell them you're an agnostic
Y; Tell them that they ought to call themselves agnostics.

We need to add the ultimate to this list: claim to not be a Christian but then say or post statements like in the list: "I'm not a Christian but I don't see any reason the Bible isn't the word of God."

or my personal variant: i'm a christian but i may not interpret the bible the way you want me to. if you don't like it, blame it on 500 years of being told that noah put all the animals on the planet in the ark, that we were cursed in the garden for being smart, that the earth is 6000 years old, that there was only one god in the old testament, that christians approve of mosaic law, that jesus was anti-gay, that jesus was pro-slavery, and the list goes on. and on. and on.

you dont want my list of things people say. lol

originally posted by: undo

originally posted by: Quetzalcoatl14

originally posted by: DISRAELI
a reply to: Metallicus
The list omits two that can easily be picked up from ATS postings;
X; Tell them you're an agnostic
Y; Tell them that they ought to call themselves agnostics.

We need to add the ultimate to this list: claim to not be a Christian but then say or post statements like in the list: "I'm not a Christian but I don't see any reason the Bible isn't the word of God."

or my personal variant: i'm a christian but i may not interpret the bible the way you want me to. if you don't like it, blame it on 500 years of being told that noah put all the animals on the planet in the ark, that we were cursed in the garden for being smart, that the earth is 6000 years old, that there was only one god in the old testament, that christians approve of mosaic law, that jesus was anti-gay, that jesus was pro-slavery, and the list goes on. and on. and on.

you dont want my list of things people say. lol

Oh, no, I have one that tops those ones brother.

I have personally had several conversations with Christians I know, who when faced with the question "how can this be the word of God if 'God' ordered the genocide of several ethnic groups in the Old Testament, and told the Israelites to carry it out?"

Then they have said "Well God is just and those people had to be wiped out because they were defiled, were not God's chosen people in God's chosen land, and they would have defiled God's people and chosen seed, the line of Abraham and David, which would have prevented the Messiah from coming. See, they were Satan's seed and had to be wiped out."

Does this sound familiar? I showed all of this to one of my super liberal, non-practicing Jewish friends, and his first response was "Sounds just like what the Nazis did and said."

a reply to: Metallicus

Best way to annoy a Christian: "I love the Bible...Best Novel I ever read...That Jesus dude really got what he deserved"

But seriously...Live and Let Live is a REALLY good motto.

a reply to: Quetzalcoatl14

yeah i have a very different stance on the old testament, than most, and slightly different stance on the new testament, so i get flack from both sides lol

i have proven, with the text itself, that noah did not put all the animals on the planet on the ark. i counted it. 32 animals total. like the royal barnyard (Ever read the story of atrahasis, the enuma elish or the epic of gilgamesh ? all non biblical texts referring to a nasty, but not global flood that struck along the mediteranean from the atlantic, shot out the eastern end of the mediterranean into and black sea, which then charged downhill into the fertile crescent via the euphrates. nasty flood. not global. king saves the royal critters after he's warned about the approaching problem by enki. seriously, 32 animals, not all the animals on the planet. i'm guessing enki was in egypt and saw the waters drastically rising in the mediterranean (*the nile would've had less flood impact as it flows out into the mediterranean) and warned the king of sumer.

HOWEVER, there is a global cataclysm mixed in the text as well but it was not noah's flood. it predated him, by perhaps tens of thousands of years. i am not sure how they knew this unless the egyptians kept a record that is somehow now lost. only reference in their texts to a cataclysm is "the legend of the destruction of mankind." substantially different story than the noah flood, whereas the other sumerian accounts, told by the akkadians and later by the babylonians and assyrians, are more localized affairs. of course, enough water to bury sumer in 8 feet of flood silt would still be a pretty bad flood.

originally posted by: grainofsand

originally posted by: Konduit
#3 made me chuckle. Although atheists aren't "religious" by dictionary definition, it's still a belief system considering it cannot be definitively proved or disproved with our current understanding of the universe.

Ohmygosh, why are theists so desperate to stick a belief system label on to people who lack belief in gods?!

Theist = believes in a god.
Atheist = does not believe in any gods.

I was taught to believe in the Christian 'God' as a child. I grew up, questioned it, investigated all the major conflicting religions of the world then realised that they are all completely unverifiable. Not a shred of supporting evidence outside of multiple translated old texts written by (again) unverifiable authors.
With no evidence stronger than the testimony of others I stopped believing in any 'higher power'.

It requires faith/belief to state that gods exist.
It requires faith/belief to state that gods do not exist.
It requires zero faith/belief to state that one does not believe in gods. Lack of belief in gods is the only requirement to be categorised as atheist.

Granted, there are atheists who do 'believe' there are no gods but such folk do not have the monopoly of the term atheist. A simple lack of belief = atheist.

I am pleased it is getting better on the internet over the years with much less religious ignorance and zealotry, certainly on ATS, but please people, educate yourselves and don't just believe the pastors definition of an atheist. It is silly, and rather pathetic.

Atheist is simply a wide umbrella term for 'one who does not believe in gods', it is not a term specifically describing 'one who believes there are no gods' - although I accept there are some atheists who 'believe' gods do not exist.

I could be described as an agnostic atheist, but it makes me no less atheist.
There are agnostic theists as well, sheesh some people should study some basic high school level philosophy.

My favorite way of putting it is that there are no good reasons to believe in gods. Therefor, i do not believe that gods exist.

a reply to: grainofsand

An Agnostic is someone who doesn't know and hasn't yet seen evidence for it, but is ready to embrace the evidence if it is there, but if it's not then won't be forced to accept something that is otherwise not supported.

For both theism and atheism, neither can be definitively proved is disproved with our current understanding of the universe, so why are people so quick to jump into either corner? They must be taking it on "faith", no pun intended.

a reply to: Konduit

It doesn't take faith to not believe rediculous claims that cannot or have not been proven.

If i say i have an invisible unicorn in my barn, is your disbelief faith? Or is the burden of proof on the one making the claim? Are christians non belief in islam faith?