At Age 3 — Transitioning From Jack To Jackie

originally posted by: JadeStar
Um, regarding long term consequences:

I told my parents the same thing when I was 3. The years I was forced to live as a boy were among my saddest years. This lasted until age 7 when my parents finally allowed me to live as I was meant to.

Ten years later I completed my transition at age 17 when I had corrective surgery, and I could not be happier.

Today, I'm a 20 year old young woman who is in college and living a pretty normal life (yesterday I had a 4th of July cookout at my parents with my family and boyfriend who I've been with since H.S. No one brought up me being born differently.) And in my day to day life, one even knows I was born any different unless I say so.

So i was just like the 3 year old referred to in the OP. I am a girl who always knew who she was regardless of how I was born and regardless of all those who tried to convince me I was mistaken.

I turned out ok by all counts I guess?

As probably ATS's only representative with first hand experience as one of those kids who had early help (though not as early as in this case) I hope I am allowed to provide the perspective from someone whose experience with going through this with my parents and family's support?

My parents didn't start believing me until I was 5 or 6 and I was finally allowed to be the girl I am at home at least at 7 and publicly starting at 12. I wish my parents had believed me at age 3.

This kid is lucky, she may never know the sadness and depression I experiened, but a lot more is known now about this issue than 17 years ago.

If anyone has any questions about this stuff feel free to ask me or my parents (who I sent this thread to). Since "coming out" to ATS in another thread I see the value in educating people and as a result denying ignorance about what life is like for transgender children like I was.

Are my and my family's perspective welcome here?

Hi Jade, so I finally got around to reading your story and I just have to say wow your parents are so loving of you. I am very happy you shared your history with us and your parents came in here and shared as well, they are such cool people just like you! I was brought to tears hearing about your younger years and the pains you felt, me being a trans girl myself I can completely relate to that because I too lived it. I wish my parents had been more like yours as when I was as young as I could remember I was telling them I was a girl but they denied it due to religious and social reasons.

We've talked about it before in another post but being able to start transition at the age of 31 I still count as a blessing, but yours is something I hope to see become the norm. My parents still struggle greatly with my transition and I can see the look of shame and disappointment in their eyes at times, but I will see if I can get them to read your story because you are a success story. My parents always thought I would have been harassed and abused in school, and I am sure I would have been growing up in the '80s and I am sure you experienced some of your own. I always tell my parents the abuse and pain others would inflict upon me transitioning at an early age is far far less worse a fate than the pain that I would have inflicted upon myself all the way up until now.

Thank you again for sharing, it reminds me of my own pain but at the same time shows a glimmer of hope that two cis people like your parents could develop an understanding enough to transcend the ignorance they once had and allow you to live your life happily.

originally posted by: honested3

originally posted by: JadeStar
Um, regarding long term consequences:

I told my parents the same thing when I was 3. The years I was forced to live as a boy were among my saddest years. This lasted until age 7 when my parents finally allowed me to live as I was meant to.

Ten years later I completed my transition at age 17 when I had corrective surgery, and I could not be happier.

Today, I'm a 20 year old young woman who is in college and living a pretty normal life (yesterday I had a 4th of July cookout at my parents with my family and boyfriend who I've been with since H.S. No one brought up me being born differently.) And in my day to day life, one even knows I was born any different unless I say so.

So i was just like the 3 year old referred to in the OP. I am a girl who always knew who she was regardless of how I was born and regardless of all those who tried to convince me I was mistaken.

I turned out ok by all counts I guess?

As probably ATS's only representative with first hand experience as one of those kids who had early help (though not as early as in this case) I hope I am allowed to provide the perspective from someone whose experience with going through this with my parents and family's support?

My parents didn't start believing me until I was 5 or 6 and I was finally allowed to be the girl I am at home at least at 7 and publicly starting at 12. I wish my parents had believed me at age 3.

This kid is lucky, she may never know the sadness and depression I experiened, but a lot more is known now about this issue than 17 years ago.

If anyone has any questions about this stuff feel free to ask me or my parents (who I sent this thread to). Since "coming out" to ATS in another thread I see the value in educating people and as a result denying ignorance about what life is like for transgender children like I was.

Are my and my family's perspective welcome here?

Hi Jade, so I finally got around to reading your story and I just have to say wow your parents are so loving of you. I am very happy you shared your history with us and your parents came in here and shared as well, they are such cool people just like you! I was brought to tears hearing about your younger years and the pains you felt, me being a trans girl myself I can completely relate to that because I too lived it. I wish my parents had been more like yours as when I was as young as I could remember I was telling them I was a girl but they denied it due to religious and social reasons.

We've talked about it before in another post but being able to start transition at the age of 31 I still count as a blessing, but yours is something I hope to see become the norm. My parents still struggle greatly with my transition and I can see the look of shame and disappointment in their eyes at times, but I will see if I can get them to read your story because you are a success story. My parents always thought I would have been harassed and abused in school, and I am sure I would have been growing up in the '80s and I am sure you experienced some of your own. I always tell my parents the abuse and pain others would inflict upon me transitioning at an early age is far far less worse a fate than the pain that I would have inflicted upon myself all the way up until now.

Thank you again for sharing, it reminds me of my own pain but at the same time shows a glimmer of hope that two cis people like your parents could develop an understanding enough to transcend the ignorance they once had and allow you to live your life happily.

Thank you. I am happy that you were able to transition eventually and I hope that my story helps your parents understand you better. My parents struggled with me when I was little but they eventually learned more about why I was the way I was and that helped them take steps to help me be healthy and happy. If their experience can help your parents then they will have helped more than just me. They both came from conservative Christian families and traditions too.

originally posted by: Liquesence
a reply to: AlexJowls
I pretty much agree with what you said, but your last statement, while philosophically valid, is quite impossible: something will always effect a child psychologically so it's impossible to completely protect them. And by molest, I hope you mean mentally molest.

Hence the term "alloy" -- implying an undesirable, perhaps deleterious pollutant.

As for what the meaning of "molest" is in the context I used it in; yes -- I was referring to the most dire form of molestation a child could be exposed to -- the psychological kind. After all, I've yet to hear of a grown adult with a history of being sexually abused as a child (what I assume you're alluding to here), strapping C4 to their chest and letting off in a crowded market place. Just sayin'...

Notwithstanding, it does indicate a certain reservation or discomfort regarding sex / sexuality on your part; given how that particular innocuous term piqued your interest...

a reply to: AlexJowls

You said:

Either society resolves to protect its children from ALL psychological alloys in their formative years -or- you let adults continue to molest them as they always have.

It's still impossible: no one can ever 100% protect a child (or anyone) from every harm. Period. Every child, every person, will always be harmed (psychologically) by *something*. So it's fallacious. That's the point.

There is no reservation or discomfort on sex/sexuality on my part. I simply sought clarification based upon your choice of words.

Additionally, what does strapping C4 to one's chest have to do with anything in this case?

a reply to: TamaraAndBrian

Your story brought a tear to my eye. Its obviously that you are proud and loving of your girl and only wished the best for her. Thanks for sharing and helping me understand the issue better. Regards, Glen