Banter between Aussies,Americans and Brits :D.

a reply to: KnightLight

a reply to: boymonkey74

A Australian explorer, British explorer, and American explorer meet up in the jungle. Ater a while, they're captured by natives.

Native chief: You three are dead men. We will sacrifice you, and save your skin to line our canoes.

British: well if we're destined to be boats.. might i have one last request?

Chief: what is it.

British: would you allow us to kill ourselves? i'd rather not die stuck like a pig on the end of a stick.

Chief: alright. how will you die?

The British explorer asks for his pistol, with a single bullet in it. he shoots himself in the head to save his dignity. chief turns to the Australian explorer.

Chief: how will you die?

Australian guy asks for his boomerang, he throws it let it come back and hit him in the head . The chief turns to the American explorer.

Chief: how will you die?

The American guy asks for a fork. He proceeds to stab himself repeatedly all over, screaming "F*** YOUR CANOES, F*** YOUR CANOES!!!"

a reply to: grainofsand

how did u know?


I eat dust

and I am the only gay in this village

;D lil Britain is my favorite

And this one slays me .

Q: What is the difference between an Australian wedding and an Australian funeral?

A: One less drunk at the funeral .



Q: how many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?

A: One we just hold the lightbulb up to the socket and the world revolves around us .

a reply to: Greathouse




A: One less drunk at the funeral

ok i peed

originally posted by: KnightLight
a reply to: Greathouse

hahahaha.... I was wondering why American's where better than everyone else..
My search is over.

When I first heard the joke it was an insult. I still thought it was hilarious . All I did was change they to we in the answer . It's amazing the power of one word can have .

a reply to: MimiSia

Lol


I'm just glad you left your reply up long enough for me to read it .

Americans: Drink weak, pissy-tasting beer.
Canadians: Drink strong, pissy-tasting beer.
Brits: Drink warm, beery-tasting piss.
Aussies: Drink anything with alcohol in it.


Americans: Seem to think that poverty and failure are morally suspect.
Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.
Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success, and failure are inherited.
Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers.

a reply to: Greathouse

lol I am having so much fun


dont want to cross the line accidentally
is not worth it

I like gentlemen so maybe we are scarring the ladies right now

a reply to: intrptr

hahaha Awesome.

originally posted by: superman2012
a reply to: boymonkey74
From the UK huh? The only place where the food is so bad that even a Canadian would insult you! lol

Lol. And then there's ..

MASTER CHEF GORDON RAMSAY



en.wikipedia.org...

Gordon James Ramsay, Jr. /ˈræm.ziː/, OBE (born 8 November 1966) is a Scottish born British chef and restaurateur. His restaurants have been awarded 15 Michelin stars in total and currently hold 14.[1][2][3] His signature restaurant, Restaurant Gordon Ramsay in Chelsea, London, has held 3 Michelin stars since 2001.

The Wi-fives.

After digging to a depth of 100 meters last year, American scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years. "We came to the conclusion that our ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago."

English scientists retorted, we have found traces of 2000 year old optical fibers and have concluded that our ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000 years earlier than you guys "
Paddy comes into the conversation,
"After digging as deep as 800 meters, we found feck nothing.........so we conclude that 3000 years ago, our lot were already using wireless technology"

a reply to: boymonkey74

This is a possible future transcript of a confrontation involving what remains of the british naval fleet and the newly formed independant caladonian peoples republic of scotlands naval armada. (BRITISH FLEET)...THIS IS ADMIRAL DARLING, COMMANDER OF THE BRITISH NAVY FLAGSHIP H.M.S ANIHILATOR, AND ITS ESCORTS H.M.S APOCALIPSE AND H.M.S INDESTRUCTABLE...WE STRONGLY ADVISE YOUR FLEET TO MOVE AWAY FROM THE RESTRICTED UK BORDER ZONE OR WE WILL BE FORCED TO RESPOND WITH REASONABLE FORCE. (SCOTTISH REPLY)...OCH'AYE, THIS IS ADMIRAL ANGUS MC'GROAT OF THE CHIEF SCOTS GALLION, WE HAVE A MIGHTY FLEET OF LONGBOATS AND TUGS EACH ONE BRIMMING WITH BRONZE CANNON AND AXE WIELDING BOARDING TROOPS, WERE NAY BACKING DOWN TO YE WEE NAVY, OCH THA NOO YE ENGLISH B@!!#%RDS.a reply to: Denoli

a reply to: spaceeyes

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