My manic episodes tripping through dimensions/alternate reality.

You aren't alone. My manic episodes have felt like trips as well. I have had Oculus Rift type experiences and hallucinations during mine, and while they have been a mixture of terror and beauty I am grateful for them. I haven't done drugs but I think having manic episodes are probably like them in many ways. Just a feeling from all that I've heard. They can be used as great tools of self-discovery and reflection in my opinion.

Your utopia trip sounds awesome!

I read your post and it sounds to a T what I went through getting diagnosed bipolar. I had manic episodes very similar and bounced in and out of reality. It sounds like you just need to find a medication that works, what you described is very normal for bipolar disorder. It's very strange howuch it can make you bend reality

Hi guys,

I feel sorry for you - I'm not a bi-polar individual... but, I guess I might as well be diagnosed as such because of my health - IBS.

I've fought for years with the issue of depression and inability to work on anything.

I use meditation to help keep myself afloat, but I doubt whether I can keep going for long.

At one point in time in the past I refused to believe meditation would help to see what it would be like, and I end up on a couch balled up in pain nearly 24/7 - when I'm not asleep.

Meditation allows me to function with 90% more time available to me - and of course, like some of you I hang around ATS to help me cope with the dysfunction.

I personally believe in the matrix theory for the world we live in.... I guess if you read some of my past posts you will see how I have successfully attacked my enemies (US govt et al.) - something that you can find independently corroborated by others on this site.

Unfortunately, I have been getting worse of late - I knew that would happen ahead of time though. I run an independent DJ business and this doesn't bode well for my being able to stay in business. I don't like being forced to meditate to the extent it interferes with everything else I do.... but I've not got much choice.

I wish you luck in figuring things out - I do understand your situation. I also wish I could hang around people like you - because I wish to help with meditation - unfortunately, it doesn't help me financially. Occasionally I do bump into people whose problems I can solve by meditation - and I would possibly have to touch the person - but if I don't know them, I don't do anything - in spite of being healed, people may take offence.

I thought I should add that part of the reason people take offence is because it destroys their understanding of the way the world works and the science that they've been exposed to. Short of saying you are a preacher or a doctor, there are people who categorically refuse such a cure - my wife is a nurse, and just such an individual.

Oh well!

If I talk to somebody whom is being "strange" (supposedly) it does not really bother me at all, in fact I would try to draw comparisons to what they are saying with my own experiences, to get some kind of conversation going.

What I think we have to do is get into the mind of the average person to discover why society finds certain behaviours that are harmless to be so repugnant, to address the need to incarcerate these "deviants" to examine why all our thoughts have to be based on fact, why we cannot experience or convey any thoughts that do not have any current scientific evidence.

So, someone talks to himself publically, what harm is that doing to soceity, could it be that he is making too much noise? Of course not, when people talk to each other they make plenty of noise - so what is it? It is because people seem to find somebody talking to themselves disturbing, the simple fact that it makes people feel "uneasy" is why such individuals have to get "treatment".

Thus, I am saying it is not really the well being of the diagnosed person that is the issue, it is the fact that they can cause destabilisation in society.

They did let you go because you were not "dangerous", but what exactly is "dangerous"?

The law states innocence before guilt, so I would imagine that someone is only "dangerous" after they commit a crime, however there is a mental health paradigm that can observe behaviours and predict reactions, reactions that can be harmful, resulting in confinement in a ward.

Is that not just the same as "diagnosing" a murderer and locking him up before he can kill somebody?

There is something really B.S. about western mental health, and it is one of the things that I am trying to get to the bottom of.

a reply to: SystemResistor

I agree but only partly. It's not only for the well being of society that treatments are offered to those suffering of psychological trouble.

If an amputee could get new legs from medecine don't you think he would rather chose that over a society accepting his handicap? We all want to fit in.

Ask a paranoid, a depressed, a schizophrenic if they enjoy their ailment on a personal level, regardless of how society sees them. Mentall illness is a terrible suffering. You are locked in a prison in your own mind. When I was delirious I was mostly conscious but not in control anymore. It's like I was a spectator while someone was using my body and mouth in an awkward way, like trying to ridicule me. And there was nothing I could do. It's not a physical pain but sometimes it's even harder to cope with. I seriously thought if I remain like this I rather die.


I agree we can improve the outlok of society on mental illnesses, but an adequate and caring treatment is even more important as it deals with the pain of the person who suffers. I don't think confinement is applied on cases where it isn't required but if it is then it's a medical mistake. Putting someone experiencing a crisis in a ward is a good thing on the other hand IMHO.

During my crisis I willingly excluded myself from society and sought refuge in a monastery. Why? Because everything can suddenly be misunderstood as a personal aggression and you feel like you aren't in control anymore. The best is to take a step back from society, to accept to be taken care of (requires humility and trust, not always easy) and to let the mind rest a bit from all the stimulations society imposes to people.

As long as the medical staff is humane and caring and willing to understand, spending some time in a ward before you learn to regain control is a positive thing

a reply to: bananashooter
Thanks so much laughing god. I too have seen my better days, I want to be normal but I know that I am not the same person I used to be.


pfffft !!! normal !!?? Isn't normal merely the furthest mental checkpoints reached by he who claims his mind resides there ??!!

Your experiences strongly remind me of experiences that I can't discuss here because of the dumb nazi no-talking-about-illicit-anything-rule, in my opinion a hindrance when discussing the experiences available to the human mind. But whatever.

I have experienced similar feelings in these times, which of course faded in a few hours. I never experienced full hallucinations that I believed were real like you did, but everything I did see seemed to be incredibly strange or planned, even later it seemed as though I had 'attracted' these strange happenings somehow.

I believe it has something to do with how much light is being absorbed and exuded by the human body. When I say 'light' I'm talking about all forms of visible and non-visible light, especially the kind of non-visible light which usually is little noticed by human perception but still affects our body and experience - like what is known as brain waves. When one is 'open' to receiving and giving a lot of light, one is also more open to manipulation, both being manipulated and manipulating others. Other living humans aren't likely to try and manipulate you, but beings who aren't seen by us do try sometimes.

Humans seem to fluctuate with being more or less 'open' in cycles linked with the natural cycles of the Earth, and the people who are the most sensitive in these times seem to become almost too open, resulting in fantastic mania and euphoria at being bathed in so much light and becoming aware of all the things that are now illuminated, becoming aware of the infinite potential of each and every grain of existence. You can even see the light that results in perceived colour is much brighter. But also being too open with no context or control can allow light in from sources that are Malicious to the human, and even though we have some protection offered to us, some can still get at us and cause us to perceive things that are not true, though they are prevented usually from causing any physical or extreme damage. There can also be problems resulting simply from a sudden and total overload of completely out of context light/information.
Of course this 'openness' can be induced and encouraged with many methods, some better than others because they provide context and ease you into it, like meditation. Using more crude chemical methods means you're more likely to become too open and have problems.

I hope I'm making any sense to anybody at all. I swear I myself don't experience mania or psychosis or any very serious mental issue, I just try very hard to perceive the truth of things.

OP I hope that you can find some peace and that the truths of the universe reveals themselves to you in ways that are glorious and satisfying.

Stay on your meds and keep in contact with a good counsellor.
You were having interesting experiences and some good insights, the problem is you have a hard time separating fantasy from reality. The higher you fly, the farther you fall. Try to be moderate and meditate to gain more detachment.
a reply to: bananashooter