What to do when you've lost your religion?

a reply to: SSFFlood

Just because you don't consider yourself a part of a religion anymore does not mean you can't worship God in your own way... That is of course if you haven't lost your faith along with said religion...

Jesus did not tell us to worship God in church... or sing silly hymns...

You're probably better off without the church stuff in any case...

And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

7 But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.

8 Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.



God wants a relationship with you... Not through a church...

originally posted by: Krazysh0t
a reply to: WarminIndy

There isn't any. Religion predates the written word, but that doesn't mean that it wasn't invented. For one, the religion that predates the written word wasn't what you or I see today. It could hardly even be called polytheism let alone the monotheism that you and I are so familiar with. Then we can CLEARLY trace the evolution of religion from there thanks to the written word.

While I cannot definitely prove that religion was invented (of course that was my point all along, don't pretend you know anything definitively), I can infer that it is VERY unlikely that a god would inspire in primitive man the idea of religion knowing that it will one day evolve into the concept we know today (especially since that concept we know today has ALSO evolved since it first came about).


I can understand using religion to try to explain the events occurring around you, but it behooves you to be able to admit when the religion is wrong and real evidence is presented that say otherwise. Look, this may surprise you when I say this, but we don't even need science to live. Science is just a tool we use to sate our curiosity. Humans could survive JUST fine without it just like we can survive without religion.

OK, so religion evolved.

And you don't use RELIGION to try to explain the world around you, it is your WORLD VIEW that tries to explain it.

Your world view includes your dogmas.

originally posted by: SSFFlood
Wow! what a lot of answers! lots of opinions! that was what i needed, i didn't come to post this question of mine on ats to be a troll, i posted it here because i know this community is HUGE and has open minded people in it! and yes im very aware of how people think we are "brain washed" by religion. i've tried lots and lots of things to "find" out what i believe. but for some reason catholicism is a "safe" place for me. But idk after certain events, it lost all meaning to me. now my churches have been replaced with forests. just where im comfortable and feel in tune with nature. i suppose. your answers have helped thank you all!

Nothing wrong with that. I think a forest is a great replacement for church.

originally posted by: WarminIndy

originally posted by: Krazysh0t
a reply to: WarminIndy

There isn't any. Religion predates the written word, but that doesn't mean that it wasn't invented. For one, the religion that predates the written word wasn't what you or I see today. It could hardly even be called polytheism let alone the monotheism that you and I are so familiar with. Then we can CLEARLY trace the evolution of religion from there thanks to the written word.

While I cannot definitely prove that religion was invented (of course that was my point all along, don't pretend you know anything definitively), I can infer that it is VERY unlikely that a god would inspire in primitive man the idea of religion knowing that it will one day evolve into the concept we know today (especially since that concept we know today has ALSO evolved since it first came about).


I can understand using religion to try to explain the events occurring around you, but it behooves you to be able to admit when the religion is wrong and real evidence is presented that say otherwise. Look, this may surprise you when I say this, but we don't even need science to live. Science is just a tool we use to sate our curiosity. Humans could survive JUST fine without it just like we can survive without religion.

OK, so religion evolved.

And you don't use RELIGION to try to explain the world around you, it is your WORLD VIEW that tries to explain it.

Your world view includes your dogmas.

Religion is dogmatic edicts that try to explain the universe and how it works. My point is that you don't need it. You don't need to understand the universe, connect with god, or whatever to live your life. It's just a crutch. You could be just as content and happy without religion in your life.

You know you have a lot of selfish answers here from Atheists who want to stick it to religion whenever they can and Christians that may or may not care about 'saving your soul'. Only YOU can save yourself.

I will share a link of a 'religion' that I think shows the perfect balance of personal responsibility and eastern philosophy. It does not claim to be the only way to God and it believes in Karma and Reincarnation. It allows you to ACTIVELY seek God if that is your desire. It has its own problems like all religions, but I personally believe there is enough truth and common sense here to be a path worthy of checking in to in your time of need.

Give the FAQs an honest read and see what you think.

HERE

originally posted by: Krazysh0t

originally posted by: WarminIndy

originally posted by: Krazysh0t
a reply to: WarminIndy

There isn't any. Religion predates the written word, but that doesn't mean that it wasn't invented. For one, the religion that predates the written word wasn't what you or I see today. It could hardly even be called polytheism let alone the monotheism that you and I are so familiar with. Then we can CLEARLY trace the evolution of religion from there thanks to the written word.

While I cannot definitely prove that religion was invented (of course that was my point all along, don't pretend you know anything definitively), I can infer that it is VERY unlikely that a god would inspire in primitive man the idea of religion knowing that it will one day evolve into the concept we know today (especially since that concept we know today has ALSO evolved since it first came about).


I can understand using religion to try to explain the events occurring around you, but it behooves you to be able to admit when the religion is wrong and real evidence is presented that say otherwise. Look, this may surprise you when I say this, but we don't even need science to live. Science is just a tool we use to sate our curiosity. Humans could survive JUST fine without it just like we can survive without religion.

OK, so religion evolved.

And you don't use RELIGION to try to explain the world around you, it is your WORLD VIEW that tries to explain it.

Your world view includes your dogmas.

Religion is dogmatic edicts that try to explain the universe and how it works. My point is that you don't need it. You don't need to understand the universe, connect with god, or whatever to live your life. It's just a crutch. You could be just as content and happy without religion in your life.

Apparently the OP isn't.

Why is it when he says that he does not have a religion (he only wears the St. Michael's medallion), that you try to tell him to live without it, when he doesn't have it?

He's crying out for help, because his life is screwed up WITHOUT religion.

He feels dark, empty and lonely, which the pre-religious experience for many people who do find religion. Your assumption is that religion ruined him or ruin him worse. That's not what the OP is saying.

His grandmother was religious but he isn't. Therefore, his life was messed up for reasons that had nothing to do with any organized religion, hence, it was not his crutch.

He is trying to escape the darkness, not be pushed further into it.

a reply to: WarminIndy

He's crying out for help, because his life is screwed up WITHOUT religion.

he is crying out for help because no one ever taught him how to form his own solutions. where do you think he got that from? he is an EX catholic. got out of it and now he is struggling to fix his outlook because his critical thinking skills are underdeveloped. because no one is there to tell him what to think or how to feel.

He feels dark, empty and lonely, which the pre-religious experience for many people who do find religion. Your assumption is that religion ruined him or ruin him worse. That's not what the OP is saying.

your assumption is that religion is a cure-all approach to depression when you dont even know why he is depressed.

His grandmother was religious but he isn't. Therefore, his life was messed up for reasons that had nothing to do with any organized religion, hence, it was not his crutch.

it specifically says he was raised by a religious mother AND grandmother. that means their religion had an influence in his upbringing. did it contribute? the fact that he evidently experienced some level of disgust for spirituality or religion following the traumatic events he mentioned says that he correlates them to a degree. thats how he feels, i dont know if its rational. but it sounds as though religion isnt his first choice of placebo particularly given that he has a history of getting in bed with blasphemers.

a reply to: SSFFlood

You know, what you describe is very similar to what my ex-son-in-law stated. Exposure to conflicting beliefs, abuse issues, and a loss of all religious belief. I did share what I believe, but that doesn't help him.

All you can do is take a look at what you have been taught, acknowledge that there would be issues with some aspects of that, and determine if you want to know real truth. Get a Bible, and read it, and pray simply to be shown the truth, and see what happens. I would recommend the KJV, as it's considered more accurate by many scholars, based on the old texts. That lost feeling is because there is a need that isn't being met. I speak from a Christian perspective, personally, so it should be clear what I would tell you that lack is. I can't decide for you what you should believe, though.

There is a security that cannot come from a necklace, or from rituals. That is found only in trusting in the One that made us all, and loves us more than we can imagine. The peace He brings isn't like the world brings. I hope and pray you can find that.

originally posted by: WarminIndy
Apparently the OP isn't.

Why is it when he says that he does not have a religion (he only wears the St. Michael's medallion), that you try to tell him to live without it, when he doesn't have it?

The OP THINKS he doesn't have it. He is just experiencing a hole where he used to fill it with religion or he's having pangs of guilt because of the conditioning that religion uses to tell you it is correct. These are natural feelings many of us atheists and agnostics have had in the past when we dropped out religion, including me. I'm talking from experience here.

He's crying out for help, because his life is screwed up WITHOUT religion.

As someone who has been here, it is the same as someone who spent WAY to long on crutches after breaking their leg and refusing to give up the crutches when the leg is healed. The longer you are away from religion, the easier it gets though. It's just that first hurdle that is the hardest.

He feels dark, empty and lonely, which the pre-religious experience for many people who do find religion. Your assumption is that religion ruined him or ruin him worse. That's not what the OP is saying.

No, that isn't my assumption at all. Again, I've been there.

His grandmother was religious but he isn't. Therefore, his life was messed up for reasons that had nothing to do with any organized religion, hence, it was not his crutch.

Religion is ALWAYS a crutch whether you overly rely on it or not. You don't need god in your life.

He is trying to escape the darkness, not be pushed further into it.

No, he wants to live in the blanket of "knowing" again when the reality of "not knowing" is SOOO much darker and scarier. If he wants to be honest with himself, he will embrace the idea of not knowing and it will stop being so dark and scary. He basically wants the comfort of the ignorance blanket again, but once you remove the blanket, it is VERY hard to put it back on.

originally posted by: TzarChasm
a reply to: WarminIndy

He's crying out for help, because his life is screwed up WITHOUT religion.

he is crying out for help because no one ever taught him how to form his own solutions. where do you think he got that from? he is an EX catholic. got out of it and now he is struggling to fix his outlook because his critical thinking skills are underdeveloped. because no one is there to tell him what to think or how to feel.

He feels dark, empty and lonely, which the pre-religious experience for many people who do find religion. Your assumption is that religion ruined him or ruin him worse. That's not what the OP is saying.

your assumption is that religion is a cure-all approach to depression when you dont even know why he is depressed.

His grandmother was religious but he isn't. Therefore, his life was messed up for reasons that had nothing to do with any organized religion, hence, it was not his crutch.

it specifically says he was raised by a religious mother AND grandmother. that means their religion had an influence in his upbringing. did it contribute? the fact that he evidently experienced some level of disgust for spirituality or religion following the traumatic events he mentioned says that he correlates them to a degree. thats how he feels, i dont know if its rational. but it sounds as though religion isnt his first choice of placebo particularly given that he is dating a witch. that will go over real well in the prenups.

What does being Catholic have to do with not having critical thinking skills?

He said why he is depressed, and how do you know it is clinical depression? Don't diagnose if you aren't a medical professional.

Aren't you now telling him how to think?

a reply to: Krazysh0t

You don't need god...or a god?

I see, the Freudian Slip reveals you don't need the God of Christianity, that is what you really meant.

You haven't answered for the many atheists and agnostics who did believe in God after many years of not believing. What caused them to do that?

Explore, explore, learn, then explore some more!

It's hard for anyone to say which path you should take. We can talk about our own experiences, but they may have little to no relevance in your own life. Christianity lead me into atheism, and atheism led me back to theism. It's a pretty amazing system, in my perspective.

I found that books, rather than forums, are a great way to learn how others may see the world. Some are based on personal experience, ancient teachings, and some are even focused on discrediting any of the above. What is unique about a book, is that I couldn't break the flow by argument. I just had to either read the person's perspective, or stop reading. This seemed to foster more of a reliance on introspection for answers rather than expecting them through pointing out errors in others (which I was quite prone to do at the time). I had spent so much time questioning others beliefs that I never really formulated my own, independent of the pre-packaged choices.

I remember two books from that period, The Book of One by Dennis Waite and Living with the Devil by Stephen Batchelor. At least, if my memory serves correctly.. I certainly didn't agree with everything in them, but that was the point. They had so much more to learn from than the points I perceived were "wrong," that I had to recognize how valuable they were to my own journey.

originally posted by: WarminIndy
a reply to: Krazysh0t

You don't need god...or a god?

I see, the Freudian Slip reveals you don't need the God of Christianity, that is what you really meant.

I don't need any god. I'm not Shinto, Buddhist (though I consider that the most likely of the world religions if any were to actually be true), Hindu, Pagan, Wiccan, or any other non-Abrahamic faith either. God(s) is just a figment of man's imagination.

You haven't answered for the many atheists and agnostics who did believe in God after many years of not believing. What caused them to do that?

Why do I have to explain how people change their minds? I can't account for every person's reasoning skills. I CAN say that people in times of severe depression are more likely to turn to religion to "help" them out of the their funk. Then when their life turns around (as it always will since life is just a roller coaster ride of ups and downs) they attribute it to their newfound religion. That's why converts in prison or the third world are so popular.

This is why I am trying to help the OP to stay strong. In time of uncertainty it is easier to turn to abstract concepts to explain and help you, but those are just a crutch. When you eventually climb out of your funk (as most people do), it won't be because of god. It'll be because YOU did it. Giving credit to god just steals away your own efforts and reduces your self-worth.

a reply to: WarminIndy

What does being Catholic have to do with not having critical thinking skills?

oh, nothing. nothing at all...

He said why he is depressed, and how do you know it is clinical depression? Don't diagnose if you aren't a medical professional.

dont prescribe if you are a medical professional. even if it is spiritual therapy.

Aren't you now telling him how to think?

i havent told him anything except that this discussion should be entertaining. i am questioning your approach to his emotional downswing. your reverse psychology is a little transparent sir.

a reply to: Krazysh0t

We will always disagree about God, because God has never been a figment of my imagination.

How does God take away from my self-worth?

a reply to: TzarChasm

Unless you have two accounts, I was replying to LadyGreenEyes.

originally posted by: WarminIndy
a reply to: TzarChasm

Unless you have two accounts, I was replying to LadyGreenEyes.

i believe that you mistook my post for hers. notice how you address the content of my post. eerily accurate for someone thinking of another post entirely. no need to remove any posts. hell, its not like anyone is going to see this thread after the next month or so.

originally posted by: TzarChasm

originally posted by: WarminIndy
a reply to: TzarChasm

Unless you have two accounts, I was replying to LadyGreenEyes.

i believe that you might have intended to reply to her, but you replied to me instead. glitchy device? thats okay, i will remove my post.

Yes, you are right. I had scrolled up too far.

Thank you for that correction.

ETA: the posts were a little long, that was the problem. Don't remove your post.

Your family, and GF have a unique set of "religions". Asking them may or may not be the right place to start. If you want to return to Catholic roots then do so, simply my stepping back through the doors of the nearest church. Then seek out the priest that happen to be there at that moment. Tell him your story and begin from there.

In my personal journey and studies I've come to realize that religion and personal relationships with a creator God are simply false. That's not to say there may not be things one can gain from the feeling of a personal relationship, with Jesus for example. If it works for you, great. Personally I have found that the teachings and holy texts don't stand up to scrutiny. When studied under a microscope the claims just unravel. Too many impossibilities, inconsistencies, faulty logic and reasoning.. mixed messages to adherents, etc. At what point does everything wrong with a religion or holy text become proof enough it's man made?

When I "lost my religion" there was a weight lifted from me. I had gotten to the point where I was trying to keep believing, but the things I'd learned about it (Christianity in my case) proved to me it wasn't the truth. I could have faith, and keep lying to myself about all the things that didn't add up. Or I could let go of the fear of a hell I knew didn't exist. I was honest with myself, and let go. Soon after I decided to take up the atheist label.

Don't be fooled by what you hear about us atheists. Those with faith often describe us as hateful and selfish. Perhaps their opinion is we've willingly gone down an evil road. Our scrutiny of their beliefs are viewed as attacks from God hating heathens. To those I say, if your God is real, he should be able to stand up to scrutiny.

I've always found this show enjoyable:

Atheist Experience

Informal debates between theists and atheists.

As for yourself, you must come to your own conclusions. Do you want to have a faith based belief system? Do you care that you believe as many true and accurate things as possible? The journey is your own, and you will make it however you desire. My only advice is to approach it objectively, and don't just rush into something because it feels good. Always keep an open mind and steer clear of treating as fact, what you can't know beyond a shadow of a doubt is fact.