Be Happy Where You Are

I read so many threads of unhappy people here. Lots of could have been, I hate my life, she is my problem, he is my problem, I am my own problem, etc.

Here is the thing. Life is what you make it. Even in the direst of circumstances there can be joy. If you doubt, watch a child. They can find and play with anything, and find laughter. Big secret, so can you. There is always time, moments you can take away from your misery, there is always something, an interest, you can find to loose yourself in and find moments of pleasure and fun.

I committed to taking care of a vegetative mother, with a father I had an unpleasant history with. I gave up my job, my independence, my social life, my privacy. It was very hard. I found joy and laughter feeding birds and watching them. I found escape in library books on travel. Little things are what make us happy, go and find joy in them for yourself.

Thoughts ATS?

for most of it, i blame the internet. Not even joking.
self-loathing is a thing, for sure, but for the majority of people, in this day and age, i am willing to bet it has more to do with online "life" than anything else.
You say

read so many threads of unhappy people here

But in all honesty i ask, in real life, do you see the same amount of negativity? do people talk to you in the same way most comment sections/posts/blogs do? because in my life it doesn't happen, and maybe that's where i get my "blame teh internets" mindset, but if someone can prove me wrong, well all the better.
It seems like hate, criticism and negativity are the new online modus opeandi for most people.
And i have no clue why it is so, or how to change things.
You make perfect sense in your post, but it seems like most people just WANT to be angry about stuff, especially online :/

a reply to: Iamschist

A message full of wisdom.

S & F

originally posted by: IShotMyLastMuse

But in all honesty i ask, in real life, do you see the same amount of negativity?

I do.

a reply to: Iamschist

Very strange..

Right after reading this OP I clicked on Youtube and at the very top of my recommended views, was this song..




Why strange?

I have not listened to this in over a year...

On Doctor Who do you know one of Clara Oswald's secrets, and the cause of much of her popularity? Her character is always happy. She knows that something is really wrong when she, as she told the Doctor once, "Doctor, I'm not happy."

The last words of Meher Baba before he stopped talking (voluntarily) were 'Don't worry, be happy', which was much later made into a song, tee-shirts, and coffee mugs. Seems like a lot of upper-level knowledge tied up in those four words.

a reply to: Aleister

We all see flaws in the world. But that should not make us negative - instead, it should make us determined.

Save the world! It's the only one we've got.

There is no way we can change the world if we are divided, so why not try and get along.

a reply to: IShotMyLastMuse

You make a valid point. I wonder if people in real life were so full of negativity how long before they were entirely friendless? Somehow we get 'hooked' into reading it. Perhaps in some way they express what we cannot? IDK Maybe it is for the same reason we slow down at wrecks, morbid curiosity?

a reply to: semperfortis

I love the song, thank you! Even more I love the synchronicity. Always amazing how we are spoken to. I love it.

Happiest away from cities.. crowds.. "civilization" .. spending time relaxing with a drink.. cigar and enjoying solitude .. and the beauty of nature .. prefer nice.. quiet.. simple life ...

a reply to: Iamschist

I think there is anger that is legitimate, i mean, we can all find a few things to be really upset about, something without even trying.
the problem is why are we not doing anything with this energy, why instead of turning it into a positive force we just spew out insults online? the problem will still be there and you will just get upset about it tomorrow as well.
just speculating here but i guess getting angry makes you feel better and requires less effort than trying to fix the problem, that's why most people give into it.
Other times, things become popular to hate and people give in to the mob mentality.
either way, it's self destructive. Most people that complain still have it better than half of the world, and we should really learn to keep in mind how easy it is to get joy out of the small things.

a reply to: Expat888

Hehe, As for me I think life is too short - I intend to party, always go further, shine in all my might.

a reply to: Expat888

Amen to that. Me too.

a reply to: IShotMyLastMuse

just speculating here but i guess getting angry makes you feel better and requires less effort than trying to fix the problem, that's why most people give into it

Imho it is, if I tell you about it, then it becomes your problem. lol I do think there is tremendous value in feeling like we have been heard. To connect with people who feel as we do goes a long way in helping us feel less alone.

I do agree, perhaps less talk and a little more action.

negative emotions are there to drive us to do something, to change something.
antidepressants are there to mask over those emotions so the drive never is found and we can sit artificially content.
maybe it's good to take a break from those emotions once in a while but well
I don't believe that it is good to live constantly trying to deny their existence.

matter of fact are you sure there are any negative emotions?? Maybe weather any emotion is good or bad is more reliant on how we react to them??

a reply to: Iamschist

Just Be yourself. Children are innocently oblivious to the world around them. I prefer to be more aware of the world than oblivious to it.

At times I am angered, happy and sad about things. I shed a tear for others, I get angry at injustice, and I am happy when things work out.

Through it all, I still be me.

originally posted by: Expat888
Happiest away from cities.. crowds.. "civilization" .. spending time relaxing with a drink.. cigar and enjoying solitude .. and the beauty of nature .. prefer nice.. quiet.. simple life ...

Completely agree, and I'm an Expat too........which is why I'm moving from the middle of nowhere to another different middle of nowhere to find "it" again.

I am not happy where I am and need a "reboot". 2nd time around can only be better after facing uncontrollable medievalism and xenophobia.

C'est la vie!

originally posted by: nerbot
I am not happy where I am and need a "reboot". 2nd time around can only be better after facing uncontrollable medievalism and xenophobia.

I think it was Wittgenstein who said that we are never more truly ourselves than when we are travelling in a new place. I have noticed it myself, love being the stranger and suspect, much like the picture Heinlein painted in Stranger in a Strange Land, it is partly about the novelty wearing off, familiarity breeding contempt on both sides of the fence. A stranger is judged on whether they represent a threat or not, pass that and you're welcome. Want to stick around and the judgements (pressure to conform) get a little more stringent.

OP, really lovely thread. Setting my emotional self to "Joy" every morning is what gets me out of bed in the morning. My boy helps with that, he pulls the lever by usually being the first thing that I see, and when he is not, he is still there in my head. I think of him, instant "Joy". I have a friend too, I talk to them and it helps me to get back there...which reminds me, I have a letter to write...

It's age, experience and circumstances that make you appreciate what you have.

Seems to me like you have experienced enough of the crap to realise what you have is good.

It's taken me a while, until I had a daughter maybe, before I realised that there are so many people in the world starving and unhappy that my position is enviable.

You're right, we may be slaves to the wage, freedom may be an illusion... but most of us are privileged enough to eat everyday and have friends.

a reply to: Iamschist

I am in a similar situation, friend. Sage advice.

But happiness is for the world-weary. If there was such a thing as a happiness machine, people would hook themselves up to it no questions asked, and would likely remain there for the rest of their lives.

I have a more dangerous task for you, OP, one that for me has brought about happiness as a mere byproduct. The risk is far greater and makes you more vulnerable, but the investment pays itself off in every situation, where happiness only becomes habit.

Why be happy when you can be interesting? Be interesting.

We have enough seekers of happiness everywhere we look, chasing dollars and dreams and pleasant feelings no matter the cost. I warn you that those people are somewhat tedious. But the interesting ones are enjoyable even in their worst moods.

It's as simple as doing things we've never done before. Travel to new places. Go learn the tango or take a hot yoga class. Go to every single religion's services as a spiritual tourist. Learn another language. These are so cliché but that is only because Every clichė is true. Variety is the key to living.

Happiness becomes routine; routine becomes stagnation; stagnation becomes death.