Diving Down the Rabbit Hole Has Changed Me, I'm Starting to Worry

a reply to: kismetpair927

Still it seems I'm having a rational reaction, not an emotional one, that is the disturbing part.

originally posted by: MichiganSwampBuck


Whatever it is, I have seriously changed, not toward any violence, not yet, but I no longer want to play the game their way.

Jeez, talk about synchronicity. I said to my husband earlier today, "there's no way in hell I can play by the rules forever".
Watching the world cheat and lie while we struggle but remain honest SUCKS. I'm sure there are many on ATS who've experienced that feeling of "why should I do things their way?"

There's nothing to worry about. If everything crumbles you can go stay out at deer camp and drink. Going out deer hunting once a year is enough to get rid of stress. Just imagine the faces of anyone who pissed you off throughout the year on the dear as you shoot it. Better have a whole lot of bullets on you when you go and learn how to detox yourself from the lead poisoning you get from eating the deer after shooting it two hundred times.

Maybe Butcherguy can help you cut it into steaks. Hacking up meat is also a good stress reliever.

Oh sorry, I suppose Swampbucks do not go hunting for deer. Shooting an ear of corn won't work as well.

a reply to: MichiganSwampBuck

Thank you for sharing and posting this. It took courage to do that. I cannot imagine how you must be feeling now. As others said, acknowledging these feelings is a good thing. I really don't have any advice I can give you, but I'll say a prayer. These times are difficult, so much turmoil.

a reply to: MichiganSwampBuck

Take a deep breath, accept the change in yourself,
know that you are wiser and that means you value
your freedom above everything you know.

Now move forward and expand.

originally posted by: olaru12
a reply to: MichiganSwampBuck

My approach was to crawl even further and deeper into the rabbit hole and experience an insanity that still lingers to this day.

I feel like I keep finding all these strange entrances and exits to this nut-crazy rabbit hole....maybe you can pop up for air now and then but you really could follow those tunnels through every subject known to man. It wasn't until I was inhaling information from every source that I realized how connected everything is.

Swampbuck, I think I get what you're saying about the rational/emotional connection. By rational, do you mean,like, procedural? Like how your feeling is the natural result of the things you Know? 'Cause you really can never "unknow" anything you've learned, it's almost a pity sometimes. But I'd still rather know, y'know?

a reply to: MichiganSwampBuck

Hiya S.B....Listen...from one Michigander to another. Stop reading so much, so often. Take a break. Not to say your concerns about the world at large arent valid...in fact, they are valid. But, absorbing yourself in these things day after day can begin to warp your sense of normalcy. In fact...too much of a conspiracy-thing(s)..can make you forget to live along the way.

Its good to take things in stride. Keep up with the causes and conspiracies that matter to you...and realize that there is little us average joe's can do to change the amount of them...or the severity and seriousness of them....

To be informed? Yes. To get involved? Of course. To take a stand? Yep. Make some plans and preps for your future? Good idea. Just realize extreme ideas usually get played out in extreme actions. And if what youre passionate about does that...its time to take a break.

You and I live in and around a beautiful state, Forests, lakes, waterfalls..even the Porcupine Mountains up near you. Get out and smell the air. Dont give up on the things that matter to you....just keep them in balance with life itself.

Its your life...itself...and the world we live in...that matters most.

a reply to: ChiefD

It is a moral shift from the good path and I don't want to mess things up with the lord, good thing for forgiveness.

But if I go and justify some of these thoughts with some religious ideas, I wouldn't want to go there.

a reply to: randyvs

Thanks that makes me smile.

Turn the computer off . Walk over to your old friend ( guitar) plug it in turn on your amp turn the gain to 8 and let it out . Works well for me i cal it therapy

a reply to: rickymouse

Wow, another epiphany - I AM A CANNIBAL!

a reply to: MichiganSwampBuck

If you do one day lose your # can you flash a sign so we know it's you? Then we can all be like "I knew him back when, he was such a nice guy, he helped me build this dog house..." and such.

Seriously though man, another poster had right: get off here and go jam. I used to play the sax, but haven't in quite some time. Music is still a good escape for me. Just throw on the headphones and get into the music. I know it had to have been that way for you at least in the past, why not try and get back to it?

a reply to: mysterioustranger

.and realize that there is little us average joe's can do to change the amount of them...or the severity and seriousness of them....

Ahh, but we can, maybe not today or even in a year, but five or ten, yes we can. How that is done is the morally dangerous ground I am thinking of treading. Remember, this would be nothing violent on my part, but it is a violent world none the less.

originally posted by: freedomSlave
Turn the computer off . Walk over to your old friend ( guitar) plug it in turn on your amp turn the gain to 8 and let it out . Works well for me

i cal it therapy

Nope...

Turn to 11...because it's more than 10 ya know!

Peace

a reply to: MichiganSwampBuck

The only thing that happens with time is you get better at sorting the bull# from the real deal. Maybe someone will read half of our posts and become change. It really is our only form of bucking the system.

a reply to: Shamrock6

When I go on that final nut, I'll be wearing a t-shirt with swamp buck in the same font.

Seriously though, my thoughts aren't violent, but they are swinging my moral compass.

originally posted by: MichiganSwampBuck
a reply to: Shamrock6

When I go on that final nut, I'll be wearing a t-shirt with swamp buck in the same font.

Seriously though, my thoughts aren't violent, but they are swinging my moral compass.

That's what I'm talkin about!

Seriously man: get back into music. Get off here. Get off the internet. Unplug.

Failing that, I'm sure there's any number of people on here who'd be happy to u2u with you and help get some steam out of the kettle.

a reply to: MichiganSwampBuck

Sir...I know where youre coming from. I was just trying to sympathize...and empathize with you. I agree. We can and do make a difference....

But if we find ourselves trying to do it everyday, all day...we are missing out on life itself. Take a stand, make a difference...try to change those things that need it. And bring others to the attention of those folks who either dont know about them, dont care..or dont believe them.

Life is for living. I dont think we should spend all our time trying to fix things. It can warp your sense of the reality we have to live in each day...while we try to make a difference.

originally posted by: MichiganSwampBuck
a reply to: kismetpair927

Still it seems I'm having a rational reaction, not an emotional one, that is the disturbing part.

Better to react rationally .. reacting emotionally leads to doing stupid # that leads to getting killed ..

I know how you feel.
Though I think most everyone feels this way when they first wake up.
Sometimes I envy what a life would be like now, ya now, if I never stumbled across that
youtube video about lady gaga in 2008. That started it all.
Maybe not digging so deep would have helped. I don't know.
I was young, and the first couple months after that I was scaring my family.
No one wanted to believe..
Everyone thought I was crazy.
If you think about it, it really is impossible not to know now.
A lot more people know about things now then they did years ago.
It really is a sort of an awakening going on.