Im sorry

Im sorry papa isint home anymore.

Im sorry papa has to work for xmas.

Im sorry papa and maman dont love each other anymore

Im sorry papa cant be there when you sad.

Im sorry i cant be there when your sick.

Im sorry im not a better papa.

Im sorry i cant get you the things you want.

Im sorry i cant take you to father daughter danse.

Im sorry i cant take you camping.

Im sorry you have me as a papa

Im sorry but i loved you since the day you where born.

It hurts me not to see you everyday.

But i have to be strong, thats what they keep on telling me.

Oh and im sorry for my rant.


Je vous aime beaucoup de papa.

Powerful.



Chin up, my friend.

a reply to: dukeofjive696969

à chaque jour suffit sa peine

a reply to: dukeofjive696969

But your daughter know you love her, and she loves you too!

a reply to: dukeofjive696969

Olaru is right. One day at a time, man. If this is a recent change, it's worse now than it will be down the road. Unconventional families have a miraculous way of balancing out and "normalizing".

I'm sorry you are hurting, man.

a reply to: dukeofjive696969

When my daughter was five months old her mother disappeared one night. We'd just moved from Texas to Georgia ( from her home state to mine ) and I came home from a family function to find everything and everyone gone.

I spent a long time trying to track her mother down online and through the addresses and phone numbers I had from having previously lived in Texas ( I knew she'd returned home, to her mothers house ). But that got me nowhere.

Fast forward fifteen years - just a few months ago. I got a friends request on FB from my daughter. Out of the blue. I'd scoured FB for her so many times I could not put a number on it and never found anything. As my daughter explained her mother made her wait until she was sixteen ( in this case she allowed it a month early ) before she could have a FB. She immediately found me and now we speak very often.

I waited a long time to her my baby girl say "I love you Dad". In the end, the wait was worth it.

So keep the faith. Right now is not forever and things can and will change. Hold onto it like a candle and never let it go. You keep the light burning and she will find you.

I'm sorry for your circumstances... but as a now grown daughter of a man who was a good man but an absent, drug and alcohol dependent father, I can tell you this... don't let the guilt eat you. Every time my dad picked himself up the guilt knocked him right back down and it always has stood between us, an awkwardness despite how much we love each other. Even now it's like I can't be okay in his mind because he wasn't there... and I am okay, even good.

Dust yourself off, get on your feet and then you can look her in the eye and be the man she needs you to be. It will get better.

Your love is the strongest thing in the world and will help carry you through. I'm sure your daughter knows she is loved and I'm sure she loves you too.

a reply to: dukeofjive696969

Beautifully written from Your Heart.
Thank You for sharing this!!!

Very Nice indeed!!! Syx.

a reply to: dukeofjive696969

Don't worry, Papa... the love shines thru across the miles. Daughters can feel it. You must trust me on this. And it gives her strength and hope and self-worth, that no amount of distance can short-circuit. She misses you too- the first man in her life, the one who gave her life. She would not trade you for the world. I know these things.

a reply to: dukeofjive696969

Don't worry, Papa... the love shines thru across the miles. Daughters can feel it. You must trust me on this. And it gives her strength and hope and self-worth, that no amount of distance can short-circuit. She misses you too- the first man in her life, the one who gave her life. She would not trade you for the world. I know these things.

a reply to: Hefficide

Jesus my friend, I never knew it was that way.

Holy crap John... that breaks my heart.

I am so glad more recent events led to you and your son reuniting, and ultimately with your daughter.

god.. you are a strong individual, stronger than I would have ever been in that situation....

you inspire me, sometimes, you know?

OP -- You will see a future that is untold as yet. It is not something you can predict.

I am the worst one to close the book.. But I refuse to any more, so my advice is, let it come to you. You will be ok. you will...

as everyone has said

I've never been in such a situation, so for me.. I just have faith in fate... I try to anyway.. be strong papa..

a reply to: dukeofjive696969

It's been a while since I've logged in to this website. Mostly because I haven't felt the need to say anything on many of the topics that have come up lately.

This one got me.

I am a father of a daughter that I love more than life itself, recently going through a difficult breakup. I know how you feel. There really isn't anything else you can tell someone that is dealing with this. Stories of "15 years later it worked out" do not help you, because you don't want to miss out on 15 years. You want to be there every single day.

I can only offer you my empathy as a man going through something similar. It is very very painful, and society doesn't tend to give a # about those of us who deal with it.

God bless.

a reply to: DeadSeraph

I was there every single day - even though she didn't know it. My kids never left my thoughts or my heart. Now they accept that as fact and it means as much to them as it does to me.

Especially to my daughter. Daddy's little girl and all.

The point is that no matter how bad it gets or dark it seems, hold on and believe because you never know what's coming around the corner. Whether it's a week or a decade, keep the faith.

a reply to: Hefficide

And tomorrow you could be dead.

Not to take away from your personal experience, but I relate to the OP. I'm sure you wanted to be there everyday too. The point is that it's painful.

You people are awsome, thanks for taking the time to cheer a stranger up.

a reply to: dukeofjive696969

I'm with Heff on this one

I didn't have much contact with my kids for about ten years, my daughter sent me an email telling me she wanted no contact with me whatsoever as I hadn't been a good dad. I'm not ashamed to admit I cried my heart out.

Circumstances, had been unkind to me and money was very short, I couldn't even afford a decent phone call.

Out of the blue, I received a message from her this year asking to fly over with her brother and meet me and their family again, I was over the moon, check out my mood in my avatar. We had 2 weeks of fun love laughter, she realised the old man never really stopped loving her, we still are healing the rift between us, but the first time she called me dad I was the happiest man in the world.

Keep the faith bro

It's hard, it's horrible, it destroys from inside.

But .................. and trust Heff and I on this...............It's worth the pain and worth the wait.

Feeling for you duke

And wishing you best Christmas you can have

Cody

My heart goes out to you. The "Holidays" can be so hard.

I know there are single moms who are in the position your x-wife is in, and if your reading this, I would just like to say:

If you are wondering what to get your kids for Christmas, you might consider giving them the gift of having their father in their life.

Even though my x is a dick, I didnt keep my kids from going to see him. I am sure that my sons would never have learned how to fix cars, or a million other things that a dad teaches.

Dont rob your children from their dad. There isnt a man alive that will love your children more than their father.

It isnt your job to play God, and make the decision to keep them from him.

I felt a little bit of shame after i posted it last night, but i truly thank everyone who took the time to cheer up a stranger.
I wish everyone happy holidays.

a reply to: dukeofjive696969

No need to feel shame duke, and on ATS there are no strangers, just friends we've yet to meet.

Stay strong my new friend, I'm only a u2u away if need to get it off your chest, I've been on ATS 10 years next month, and 1 thing I've learned is that we are the best community on the internet.

It just so happens I'm one of the avatar artists here, why not cheer yourself up and ask the team to make an avatar for you ? A Christmas present from ATS to you.

You can find us by clicking between the tiger pictures below.

It's free

Keep the faith

Cody