Polygamic, Mass, Short Duration Marriage

Today at noon, CST, there will be a marriage.
It will be a short duration marriage for most.
It will automatically expire at midnight.
All members of the forum are hereby being proposed to.
The rules are:
Each person must bring one non-human being or object into the marriage to which they and all other participants will also be wed.
All participants must honor a vow to be cool until midnight, at which time the marriage will automatically expire.
Marriages may be renewed via personal messages for any length of time mutually agreed upon by any parties involved.
I am an ordained minister of the Church of the Subgenius via the Universal Life Church.
I have a piece of paper that says it is so.

I will make the first proposal.
Will y'all take me and my guitar to be you're temporarily, with the option of extending the contract, wedded other?
I don't have enough diamond rings for everybody, but I can draw you a picture of one.
All you have to do is say "I do."

I don't know.... Do you or your guitar eat crackers in the bed? That's a deal breaker for me.

I know the time is short, but even if it's just in your bed I am not sure I can commit.

a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe
I do not, personally, eat crackers in bed. I also do not snore.
Come on Roo, get in the pile.

a reply to: skunkape23

My dog Bean and I do then. No crackers.

originally posted by: Kangaruex4Ewe
a reply to: skunkape23

My dog Bean and I do then. No crackers.

I hope you are both as excited as me and my guitar are. Neither of us have ever been hitched.

a reply to: skunkape23

As long as nobody brings Ebola we will get along swimmingly.

originally posted by: Indigent

Does that mean Grandpa Simpson and his hat are joining the pile?
I will love them both equally.

a reply to: Indigent

Favorite Simpsons clip EVER!
Thanks for the laugh!

a reply to: skunkape23

I'm only saying I Do because Roo is in on the deal, and the no crackers in bed thingie is an added bonus.

I'll bring more than enough fresh baked cookies for all that lose their grasp on reality, and throw in their lot with us.



How about a kiss to seal the deal...



Mrs. Des (fill in the blank)...

I'm game.
Since it is October, I'm bringing my Chucky Doll.
You know, just for my own protection.

As long as it's not legally binding, I'm in. Can't have the ex know cuz I'm still technically married until midnight on New Year's eve, then I'm free.

I am disease free, fun-loving, and like all animals, except geese...geese are dicks. I tried to get along with them, but...
I'll bring my high school yearbooks so we can make fun of them.

All hail Bob!

a reply to: [post=18559794]the owlbear[/post
This is going to be fun.
I can't wait to tell my family I'm no longer unmarried over dinner.

a reply to: the owlbear

Yes, All Hail Bob...



Des

OK, I'm in. Always wondered what it would be like to be a "Sister Wife." I'm bringing the fishing pole that I lost three weeks ago in the California Delta and then miraculously found and retrieved yesterday in six feet of water -- just because I can't let go of it again. And I promise to love and honor, but the "obey" thing? Nah, not so much.

originally posted by: skunkape23
a reply to: [post=18559794]the owlbear[/post
This is going to be fun.
I can't wait to tell my family I'm no longer unmarried over dinner.

But then they're going to ask about GRANDCHILDREN!!!
You have a couple step kids from me...cute well behaved ones, too.

originally posted by: skunkape23
a reply to: [post=18559794]the owlbear[/post
This is going to be fun.
I can't wait to tell my family I'm no longer unmarried over dinner.

I think we're going to have to up our game to get other people to marry us. We need a themed wedding!

I'll also bring jello shots to get the ideas rolling....



Cat people, are they welcome too?

Des

a reply to: Destinyone

OOOOO
I have sweet Jello shot cups you can use. They have the spinny thing in them so they just pop right out.

I have to agree with OB, Geese are dicks. No geese.
And like GP, I bring you two boys. But actually they are almost men, and don't live with me, so we can just use them for manual labor when needed.
LOL
I have chickens though, so we will have plenty of eggs.

Hey, What State are we living in?

a reply to: chiefsmom
LOL, assuming the OP is Male, is this how the marriage is going to work? Starts off strong than nothing? Come on, "hubby", where are we going to live?
Who is on Trash detail?

Do you really want ALL these wives nagging you at once?


Oh, CST. I'm EST, So, is that an hour ahead? Cause I have lunch between 11:30 and 12:30, and wouldn't want to miss my wedding.

a reply to: chiefsmom

Assuming the OP is male....is he looking for a harem, not a group marriage.

He's in for a lot of work if that is his goal. I have several trees that need felling.

I wonder if he knows about how Women sync up on their cycles too....he's in for a big surprise...

Bwahahahahahahha.....

Des