Baphomet On A Mental Ward!

Edit:I've tried to format this as easy for the reader as possible, sorry if it seems like a diatribe!!! End Edit!!!


I've debated whether it was worth sharing this encounter for 2 years...

I believe if ATS cannot help, then I shall revert back to prayer!


It's going to seem quite crazy, even more so when I tell you I'm a schizophrenic, however I know this experience took place!

What I can't do, is explain why me, hopefully others have encountered Baphomet before, not in a sense that I hope it happens to you, but in the sense that it may bring some closure!


It started in 1991...
I was 4 years old when I choked on a grape...
I was apparently unconscious for about 2-3 minutes before a hero showed up and stuffed his fingers down my throat...

Since that day, I have heard voices, & seen things...
Hence the schizophrenia label...

Fast fowards 21 years to 2012...
I was sub-sequentially sectioned... For my own good as it turns out...
The voices got louder, more frequent, I'd hear(& still do) thousands a day...


This has helped funnily enough...
So frequent are they that I can tell the difference between reality & delusion...


Anyways...
It's while I was sectioned... Mid August 2012... About 2:30am...
I went for a piss, having just woken up...
It was dark along the mental ward corridor...
Not pitch black, light filtered through the entrance to the sleeping facilities...
Shadows swirled across the walls...

Then it occurred...
As I got to my bedroom door...
I saw The Goat...
Not full figure...
But on the wall itself, I saw his silhouette as if he was passing my shoulder...

At first I thought some other lunatic was walking behind me which isn't uncommon along the wards...
However, upon turning round, it was just me in the 30ft corridor...
I looked back at the wall to see the silhouette walking past...
Then I heard the growl...

Again, having heard voices for 21yrs, it helped me to understand it wasn't inside my head...
It was breathing down my neck...

I was pretty fearless at the time...
Baphomet wasn't going to intimidate me...
I returned a growl that echoed throughout the ward...

The silhouette dissipated...
The growling stopped...
I felt pleased with myself...
I'd encountered "demonic" entities before...
None so thoroughly realistic...

I climbed into bed...
Went to switch off my bedroom light & ask my guardian Angel why this occurred...
I was interrupted by another growl coming from the centre of my room...

I fixed my gaze on the position the noise originated from...
There I could see him...
Full form...
Hooves...
Black fur cover the legs...
Head & torso covered in white fur...

His face...
Menacing, growling, drooling, almost frothing...

I blacked out in anger...
Jumped out of bed...

Then I snapped out of it...
I again asked why was happening to the voices I hear...
A lot of interruptions & blockages...
Nothing concrete would get through...
Almost distorted answers... Words missing... Broken messages like a phone losing signal...




To this day, I'm still left in wonder, left unanswered, something is causing the message distortion...
I know it's not Baphomet...
He hasn't bothered me since that night...

Please can someone help me decypher this...

I can't say I expect anything tangible, I'm not going to get my hopes up...



As I stated previously, I fought long and hard with myself over sharing this...
But ridicule doesn't intimidate me... Because Baphomet couldn't...


Thanks for indulging me...
This isn't to seek attention or anything nefarious...
Truly just for closure...

Maybe someday I'll be able to understand why!


Peace ATS!

a reply to: CharlieSpeirs

Hello from across the pond....I think youve explained yourself and situation very well. Are you trying to find a meaning in the overall experience? Or are you trying to understand the way it was presented over time to you?

Idk what to say about your experiences. It could of been, what paranormal call a "Poltergeist" which is said to be a manifestation of some sorts.

I too used to have a similar problem with voices, when I had a breakdown, or psychosis. It was "Auditorial Lucid Psychosis".
I couldn't sleep at all, and I personally was laughing to myself. I didn't sleep for 48 hours and I went to work for both those days. I also had a sick look, and wasn't eating at all.

Personally, it was more or less just pent up rage that I had let build, and my view of reality was blinded for some time. Only after staying in the mental ward for some time, then I somewhat came to my senses. However it did take me several months to allow myself to get better.

Also, third eye meditations didn't help at all, and probably were the main cause leading to the breakdown.

From my experiences, the mind is a very powerful, but fragile thing. What ever we hope or fear will manifest itself in our minds. As for things beyond the grave, I am not helpful there.

Anyways, like Spock said..."Live long and Prosper."

a reply to: mysterioustranger

Hi

I'd like to know why it occurred my friend...
I had never previously looked at Baphomet(or any other Goat figure) with reverence or contempt...
It wasn't a topic I kept on my radar...

For such an ominous experience I guess I'm asking why...
At such a time as being bombarded daily with paranormal activity...
This stood out?

a reply to: Specimen

Thank you my friend...
Very thorough outlook!

Personally, it was more or less just pent up rage that I had let build, and my view of reality was blinded for some time. Only after staying in the mental ward for some time, then I somewhat came to my senses. However it did take me several months to allow myself to get better.

My psychosis experience was very similar...
Very similar indeed!
So I'm not alone

There's some closure!

a reply to: CharlieSpeirs

Hey Charlie, respect for an honest account and laying personal stuff out there.

I've known quite a few folk with varying levels and frequencies of schizophrenia, both personally and professionally, one of whom was a close-ish friend for quite a few years and had a lot of ups and down as well as a very interesting history (his father was a religious exorcist and treated him appallingly) - he could recount really vivid encounters that he had during his more difficult phases with a particular entity.

Now i aint been there myself but i tend to think it's a manifestation of what's going on in the brain, chemical imbalances and all - doesn't schizophrenia have an effect on Triptamines in the brain? I may have that wrong, but if i don't then it would explain a lot i think.

a reply to: CharlieSpeirs

I guess Baphoment stood out to you for archetypal reasons - the further back in time we go, the depictions of gods (etc) are more primal and speak to the brain and subconscious in starker and less subtle/more overt imagery that is of more immediate, and less mysterious impact. That's my take anyway

Maybe you died when you choked on the grape, and when you came back something came back with you?

a reply to: skalla

Yeah it's much more common than people think...
Especially with the varying forms of schizophrenia...

I tend to feel it is a chemical imbalance, maybe a lack of oxygen during the original trauma as well could have played a part...

That's sad about your friend...
Religious types don't necessarily become helpful during times of mental illness...

As much as I have faith in my beliefs...
I still have faith in science as well...

I don't think either have the answers so far, when it comes to mental illness that is!

a reply to: CharlieSpeirs
I feel this is almost definitely a manifestation of schizophrenia, I am sorry you are dealing with this sad disease of the mind. One of the scary things that this disease dose is fully engross your mind it will convince you that you can tell the difference but you cant. I hope that with treatment you live a life of normalcy which is very well possible but without treatment this progressive disease will slowly over take your mindst. I wish you the best brother thank you for sharing

a reply to: skalla

Yes as I said I've had numerous encounters, spiritual & physical that are hard to explain...
But the Goat stood out for me personally...
I can't even say for sure it was Baphomet, but searching Goat figured entities he popped up more often than not!

So you're saying because it's not the common paranormal it sticks out in the mind more, I never really thought of it like that.
Thanks for the helpful insight

The baphomet isn't satanic but represents all that is animalistic, sexual you name it.

If you have never messed around with the dark arts I'm a bit lost.

It's hard to say just what exactly it is or may be. but meditation techniques and spiritual protection pieces couldn't hurt.


who knows maybe in a pat life time you were a pagan god.

a reply to: proob4

My more philisophical side has thought this to be true...
Maybe I entered another realm and stayed there, if only partly...

My mum & grandmother feel like I had passed on...
They'd given up until the man came to save the day...

My rational side says I probably just lost consciousness and lost too much oxygen to the brain causing the imbalance...


I suppose I'll have to wait until I do finally cross over to find that out!

a reply to: CharlieSpeirs

I did quick web search on "schizophrenia and tryptamines" and got quite a few hits. I only read the head lines and not the articles but it seems that after episodes of Schizophrenia people's urine shows higher than normal traces of tryptamines and '___' like compounds (more or less, to this layman), and on '___' people typically meet "entities".

Seems a reasonable connection, and it would go a long way to explain such experiences.

ETA: The site auto blocks the substance i am referring to, but it an entheogen and amazonian shamans blow it up each other's noses and go to strange places etc, i'm sure you catch my drift, it starts with a "D" and ends with an "MT"

a reply to: TechniXcality

Thanks for the concern my friend...

It is easier to deal with, for myself at least, having gone through it so long undiagnosed...
21 years is enough time to experience the realities & delusions...

It's difficult to explain, but the voices sound as if they're coming through a tanoy, and the visual effects seem holographic...
So it's easy to decypher real from delusion in that sense...

With that said it was a close shave before i was diagnosed because it did nearly take over completely through the stress of it all...

Nevertheless... Many others have it much worse, so I remain grateful, despite the gifted curse it can be!

Thank you again brother

a reply to: skalla

Interestingly enough I have found that there is a fine but stout line between a psychedelic experience and a psychotic episode. Though the mechanisms may be similar.

a reply to: skalla

Thanks for expanding on that skalla, you've been most helpful recently...

I thought that was the substance, I've been blocked from saying it too...
If it's educational, it should be allowed really...

But I digress, I hadn't learned too much about tryptamine levels...
I'll be sure to look up the research!!!

Thanks again my friend!

a reply to: kodasaufa

You know it's interesting you say this...

If you have never messed around with the dark arts I'm a bit lost.

Because I've never really dabbled in dark arts...
However I am a lyricist...
I sometimes write down what the voices say and rhyme it with other things other voices say...

& I've often wondered if I made the same mistake Alastair Crowley made by writing down spells, curses and incantations by mistake along my lyrical journey...

Wondering now if it opened portals, or doorways that I'd have kept closed had I known this earlier!!!

a reply to: TechniXcality

Absolutely, there are quite a few books and writers that explore these relationships in some detail. And ofc psychotic episodes can be very enlightening when one starts to come down.

It's often suggested that in isolated communities that still practice Shamanism that those with Schizophrenia or other conditions (a crude term but meh) that have similar profiles make the best candidates for these revered professions.

a reply to: kodasaufa

who knows maybe in a pat life time you were a pagan god.

This gave me a good chuckle, thanks pal

Your input was very much appreciated!