What to say?

I wouldn't normally turn to posting such a question here on ATS, but figured I'd throw it out there because I'm genuinely stumped..

Firstly, the story.

I work in the construction industry where I work on a fifo (fly in fly out) roster which consists of 28 days of work, then fly home for 7 days off.

Because of this I find it hard to meet new people, so I turned to online dating, anyway got to talking to a girl and we have quite a bit in common, she's even ok with the kind of work roster I have, that's usually a deal breaker for most.

Anyway, we've been talking for just over a week now, but due to her work commitments we couldn't meet, so I've now flown back to work and we were exchanging a couple of text messages a day...but now she wasn't responded for 3 days.

Keeping someone interested for a month without meeting them is a tough ask, or she's met someone else. Both are real possibilities and if so fine, but it would be nice if she just said it to me.

I'm not too sure what to say/do next?

So many thoughts are going through my mind...what if my last text to her didnt go through and she thinks I've stopped talking to her?? Do I just let it be and cut my losses? Do I bite the bullet and ask what's going on? How do I do it without sounding needy/pushy?

Bah! Women!

a reply to: AlphaHawk

Bah! Men!
Just talk to her like a human. Text her back -or call?? -and say something like 'Hi, hope you go my last text, looking forward to hearing from you soon. Full stop. Put phone down.
If she calls, she calls and if she doesn't she's a big fat, stinky turnip who doesn't deserve you anyway, lol!

(Hope she calls x)

a reply to: AlphaHawk

IF that woman is your kinda woman, values same as your values, good or bad

Then you just be yourself and it will work no matter what you do.

IF that woman is your opposite.

It won't work long term anyway, even if you had gobs of money.

That's just how it works.

There are exceptions though, there are exceptions.

I would just be honest without sounding like you're desperate. Just send a text saying you haven't heard from her in a while, and you're just making sure she's okay. You could also say that if she's found someone else - that's cool, no problem - just let you know so you can move on.

That's what I would do anyway. Good luck.

a reply to: beansidhe

You make it sound so simple.

It's entirely possible I'm over thinking things..

a reply to: AlphaHawk

Well...

You could try sending a text message which does not refer in any way to the communications blackout you perceive yourself as being surrounded by? You could (assuming you have one of those newfangled smartphones) take a picture of something lovely, and send it with a message like "Saw this and thought of you".

That would be contact that you are initiating, without being pushy about the absence of a message from the lady in question.

And hey, you are doing better than me in that regard AlphaHawk. I met a lass in the bar on Tuesday, was utterly smashed (although I usually maintain the appearance of neurological function when drunk), and forgot to ask her for her number due to my alcohol intake. Therefore, JUST on the off chance that she shows up there again next Tuesday, I will be staked out in the beer garden, drinking tea to ensure that I do not make a total moron of myself... more of a moron... yeah.

Feeling your pain somewhat there.

Anyway... what you need to remember is, that if this lady does not have the mental stamina to deal with the protracted timescale of the progression of whatever relationship might result, to allow her to continue via text until such time as you can meet, if her patience is not up to it, then you know it would not work out too well with the pair of you. I wish you the very best of luck with your endeavour!

If you're not on Tinder get on it!
Just over a week old 136 matches, dated about 8 ladies, narrowed it down to 3 which I really like.
I've had a lot of fun and deleted my account to focus my energy on other things haha.

A word of advice, don't invest feelings in someone before meeting them, jump on it a week before you fly home, that way they and yourself are still in the heat of the moment. This girl is probably talking to more guys then she is letting you know.

My experience on there has led me to believe there is a man draught and I loved it. The stories I could tell haha

a reply to: TrueBrit

Thanks for the tip, and good luck with seeing if she turns up or not!

Take a step back with your feelings. I know its not easy. If you even like her as a friend or a person her being happy is important. She could have broken her phone, had a family emergency. Who knows?!

On a side note, if she did meet another person she's not for you. You don't want someone that's so flighty. Another persons feelings shouldn't be played with.

a reply to: AlphaHawk

No matter how busy my schedule is, I always have 10 seconds to text a loved one or friend back.

I'm going to be blunt.
I think she might have changed her mind and doesn't have the spine to let you know.

If you really wanted to find out just ask her whether she has changed her mind regarding the 2 of you , though if she hasn't answered for a longer period of time , there's little chance she will.
Some people are cowards.

My advice... move on.
You deserve better.
I wish you the best of luck in finding the right lady.

a reply to: AlphaHawk

Set up seven different dates just before your next week off. Tell them all that you are independently wealthy and don't work at all.
Get laid as many times as possible in those seven days. Go back to work and rest up before your next week of 7 different women.
Do not carry any ID on the dates, they will go through your wallet while you are snoring after sex.
Don't ever talk to any of them a second time.
If you ever want to have kids, hire a surrogate mom.

Thanks for all the tips, I did as beansidhe said, heard nothing yet so I guess I can move on..oh well.

a reply to: butcherguy

originally posted by: butcherguy
a reply to: AlphaHawk

Set up seven different dates just before your next week off. Tell them all that you are independently wealthy and don't work at all.
Get laid as many times as possible in those seven days. Go back to work and rest up before your next week of 7 different women.
Do not carry any ID on the dates, they will go through your wallet while you are snoring after sex.
Don't ever talk to any of them a second time.
If you ever want to have kids, hire a surrogate mom.

Said the hopeful 15 year old moron, with latent prepubescent fantasies....

Des

a reply to: butcherguy

So obviously it's not just cats you hate...

a reply to: kaylaluv

No. I love women.
Just giving advice to avoid problems with them.
I never followed my own advice with women.

a reply to: Destinyone

You don't know how funny that post is!
Star!

I don't mean to be rude or hurtful, but you seem a bit over-anxious for someone 'special', which is often the best way to attract the type of person who uses others for their own gain.

You are already emotionally invested in what? A voice, and some text messages from someone who has potential 'catfish' written all over it.

If this gal is for real, something disrupted her life, and she'll get back to you when things settle down.
If it isn't real, then this is just the first subtle ploy to gain emotional control over you.

IF she contacts you again, and has a hard-luck story involving a lack of finances, RUN.

originally posted by: Rainbowresidue
a reply to: butcherguy

Best part is, I am not the guy that I painted a picture of in my post....
But they certainly do exist....
And plenty of women know that from first-hand experience.

a reply to: AlphaHawk

Oh, I didn't say it wouldn't hurt though.
It sounds easy, I know- but it never is in real life. You haven't met her - she could be married, she could have a million reasons for not calling. There's nothing else you can do, except try to communicate. If she doesn't respond - well, who knows. It doesn't say anything about you and everything about her.

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you x

a reply to: butcherguy

That's the spirit!
Tee hee!