The Gimp Herders of Olympus

The Gimp Herders of Olympus

by

Bybyots

...“twin A can be on Eden or off of Saturn, twin B can be sat off of a galaxy 100 light years from us, …

-Source

“Wow”, I thought, as I lay down to sleep. “That's exactly what we would be doing if we weren't so caught up in our troubles, if we had a single focus: we would be building fantastic starships and recovering our origins with our networking power”. “Wow”.

But as I drifted further in to sleep, my thoughts carried aloft by the great flexing graphene wings of an RK starship, I heard a tiny voice shouting at me from below, “Bybyots!!, wait!”, it was George Carlin and he was running behind the starship, his bell-bottoms flapping as he tried to sprint as fast as a hippy can sprint, “Wait!”, I heard him yell, and finally, “Wait!”, “Don't forget about the exploding penises!”, and then suddenly he was gone in a white flash of nuclear fire.

And so upon awakening the next morning I remembered that it was George Carlin that had cracked my high school friends and I up so hard with his theory about missiles and bombs and monkeys throwing their poop which he referred to as “Bigger Dick Foreign Policy”. He seems to have changed the stand-up skit over the years but here's how he was delivering it shortly before he passed.

”You do not have to be a historian or political scientist to see the bigger dick foreign policy theory at work. It sounds like this: What? They have bigger dicks?! Bomb them!

And of course the bombs and the rockets and the bullets are all shaped like dicks.”

-George Carlin

It's not difficult to find many of our most basic biological processes represented symbolically in our technology. I don't think it's too difficult, for instance, to see and agree on the simile between “F-u!” and launching an explosive missile at someone.



And this may be what George C. was trying to point out with his pointed analogy: that despite how glorious we perceive our technological accomplishments to be, they are still rooted in the kinds of primal patterns of behavior that never allow us as a people to escape ourselves, let alone the solar system.

George left out the monkey-poop-throwing analogy that I liked so well in that version, but that's okay because my point is the exploding penises, and their masters , The Gimp Herders of Olympus.

Don't pimp me bro!”

Buckaroo Banzai said, “No matter where you go, there you are”, and it seems that holds true for our quasi-5th-arm of humanity, all of whom should be congratulated for engineering the largest most explosive-penis-bomb ever devised by humanity. Surely no greater accomplishment has ever been wrought by the hands of man, except for possibly their gimp-farming technology.

Somewhere in a galaxy fah, fah away, 100 light years from us, someone's cloned body is being used like an appliance; like a gimp, in a box.



We could have assumed that the Gimp Herders would assure us that they have chunked out some of all of that dreamy-processing power to create a little habitat for the cloned meat-puppets so that they live in some self-created world of comfort and ease. And indeed, outrageuosly, they have...

”We thought about taking you all and making you live off world in a habitat, but it failed as it wasn't your 'ordinary life' and thus did you great harm.”

-Same Source

Okay, so...the light at the end of the tunnel for humanity is The Matrix? Ouch.

I'm not buying it. I also cannot be convinced that some academy of advanced human-hood at the end of the universe is going to slap an “A” on someone's paper because they came up with the best bomb ever that runs on a network of enslaved flesh and flys so incredibly fast that habitable planets can be found quickly and transformed in to giant sleeping slave-calculators overnight. Excuse me while I...

Bwhahahahahahahahah!!!

No. In my mind it would go something like this:

“BONGnnnnnggggggggg”. “nggg”.

“Yes?” “Oh , right, hi, you monkeys again,. Hold on while I ring up the 1st, 3rd and 2nd arms of humanity so that we can bitch-slap you back to Terra!. “You little freaks”.

And that'd be it.

What George's wisdom tells me, at least, is that when a change-we-can-count on comes it won't have all the hallmarks of our monkeyness. The “F-u!”-missile-model won't be in there, and it will likely also not include the enslavement of anyone in planet sized prisons.

So I am grateful to Geroge C. for coming back from the dead to help me out. When sleepy-time rolls around, I can rest assured that when cometh the 4th decade of the 1st century of the second millenium AD, all of of humanity will be here, for better or worse, trying their best not to throw their poop at each other. Or not.

Fundamentally, it's all of us or none of us when it comes to the “moving forward” as a species thing. The Gimp Herders of Olympus already have plans to leave one humanity behind, and with the cloning program, they promise to leave behind iteration after iteration of mankind, on prison-planets, enslaved as math-gimps.

Not only does this not compute; but gimme a break.

a reply to: Bybyots

I want to leave too.

If 'Olympus' exists as partially described, it is an elite enclave spun from the military industrial complex. For the same reasons I wouldn't want our species represented by a paranoid, 'dung flinging, penis exploding' General, I'd have reservations about an offshoot with the pragmatic willingness to use their family as a super laptop representing us admittedly flawed, long lost humans to the other lifeforms among the stars.

I give these alleged abductors and manipulators of consciousness the benefit of many doubts (the foremost doubt being their very existence in the first place)... but the idea of a break-away portion of humanity chosen by and from an "elitist" pool bothers me to no end... especially when excluded from such a pool.

And that possibility of a breakaway civ is not only very possible, but the non-controversial as to existing M.I.C. and black ops world is already existing as one, anyway.

Some of the best aspects of humanity are not found exclusively in those individuals belonging to the govt, military or intelligentsia, if at all. The somewhat random mix of dna produced them in the first place... what right would they have to recover the knowledge of all our predecessors and take their found toys and go home? Being in the right place at the right time isn't exactly a right.

Or in the case of the break-away black-ops world, what gives them the right to set themselves apart and above... what gives anyone or group the right... aside from might?

ETA and if you think all encompassing electronic surveillance is bad... wait 'til someone definitively hacks our dreams... all or nothing indeed.

I have been wanting to say this but the original thread is closed for review and the research thread is the personal playground of only a handful of people.
I can't help but wonder if what we have been exposed to is the second coming of the hoaxter known as John Titor. If not the same template is being used.

* Gain credibility through PMs with a very small number of respected/well known forum members. check
* Weave a gloomy dark tale that leaves open a small window for redemption. check.
* Give a brief description of fantastic tech, but not include any concrete details that would fundamentally prove or disprove their viability. check.
* Ending his story by leaving our world never to return. check.
* On-line handle ending in a zero (signature?) Astr0 vs. timetravel_0. check

If the story had been stretched out a little longer it could have been the next great internet legend but, I think the time frame had to be cut short because the story just wouldn't hold up to much intense scrutiny.
My question is was this guy actually the guy behind Titor or someone using his template.

Either way, good story.

Also keep in mind (Attempting credulity to what I can imagine to be true) this guy slipped a post out that he used a 75% 25% rule. Said it kept him under the radar of those that would get the M.I.B.on him: Small truths cloked in outrageous lies.

I think you have done a great job of blowing his outrageous lies out of the water!

He was not from a higher society that doesn't think we are worthy of inclusion, but willing to use us as a brain farm...ironic obvious lie


Good call good sir

And also, in the Astr0 threads, the PM's ticked me off, especially to moderator(s oh, there was only one I guess- a person who I normally respect) who then said this individual was credible. Bad form sir, bad form.

X

I just want to re-iterate
The PM's noted in all the threads this guy posted in (which I just tried to link and post all the ones I knew of, but everything froze up) most of them were in aircraft threads, only a few in UFO forums.
His point in the PM's was probably that he wanted help inform everyone of what he knew of a black opps plane and its tech without getting in trouble.
At least I believe that to be the angle he took with his PMs to some people including a MOD whom I would think should be talking to other MOD's about his own credulity now, as his own endorsement has led to many mod groupies jumping in and stroking this hoaxsters story

I can just read it now those PM's now:
"hey buddy, I'm not really saying ancient AI told us to create something fantastical so we can transcend, that'd be ridiculous, I'm just saying that stuff so I can let all you guys know what black opps teck to look into to so you can get to the truth about our skunk works stuff"

"Oh, ok" say some of our members,"that's cool, keep telling me what I want to hear and thanks for letting me in on the secret"

X

Sometimes you're the Gimp, sometimes you get gimped. :up.

a reply to: EA006

I want to leave too.

My friend? No one here gets out alive.

a reply to: Bybyots

Bugger

Our leaders have all been shaped into Dicks as well, it's everywhere.

a reply to: Bybyots


Re-learnt knowledge within a false and distorted paradigm, but, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun...

originally posted by: abe froman

I can't help but wonder if what we have been exposed to is the second coming of the hoaxter known as John Titor. If not the same template is being used.


* On-line handle ending in a zero (signature?) Astr0 vs. timetravel_0. check

If the story had been stretched out a little longer it could have been the next great internet legend but, I think the time frame had to be cut short because the story just wouldn't hold up to much intense scrutiny.
My question is was this guy actually the guy behind Titor or someone using his template.

Either way, good story.

Well if one takes this comment:

We thought about taking you all and making you live off world in a habitat, but it failed as it wasn't your 'ordinary life' and thus did you great harm

**Source

And overlays it with this:

The idea is that we do not need theatrics this time around. There is a package deal. Whoever can convince the world of its immateriality and of the rationale for the Millennium and Eschaton, that person will be the Second Coming.....Minimalism is the word when it comes to divine intervention, in keeping with the ‘prime directive.’ The perception of coercion is the very worst thing that could happen.

~Dan T. Smith

As stated in the OP:

Okay, so...the light at the end of the tunnel for humanity is The Matrix?

Yeah, it looks that way but who is this "we" everyone speaks of?

Interesting link regarding John Titor, could have been used as a template to weave a longstanding story. It's hard for it to stand on its own two feet right now, but given time and a few more bread crumbs it may flower yet.

ETA: I find the usage of "second coming" in your post to be very fitting with the quote I shared.

As far as this guy being ol' J. Titor... nah, though anything is possible. This guy 'worked' here for 4 years ... and had probable insider knowledge.

And that's the thing, most anything IS possible... but the Titor thing smelled bad from the get go.

This just smells... uh, like sweat and a leather suit?

But really, that's the problem... we don't know WHAT it smells like... being the internet and all.

a reply to: Baddogma

I'd have reservations about an offshoot with the pragmatic willingness to use their family as a super laptop representing us admittedly flawed, long lost humans to the other lifeforms among the stars.

Although I would be hard pressed at the moment to come up with an example, I have been constantly reminded by The Gimp Herders of stories about the British Royal Family keeping their "less-than-genetically-viable" family members in a tower, or dungeon.

a reply to: Bybyots

I have noticed that no one ever mentions that he created a fiction in Short Stories forum. The story received almost no attention, but it is very well written with only a few things that could be cleaned up, a very good touching story with great emotion and will tell a person a ton about the writer. I would love to read a book by this author.

My theory is that this person wanted to get a response and imput to tweak a work of fiction, it is very helpful to get responses and see where your flaws lay. Clearly the Short Story forum does not get the response as threads posted as reality.
Tokyo Neon
www.abovetopsecret.com...

www.abovetopsecret.com...

a reply to: Char-Lee

I would love to read a book by this author.

Oh man!, Thanks, I didn't know either.

Before I go off to read them I wanted to agree with you. I think that Astr0 is a very gifted writer, and his writing is very warm.

Thanks for posting. I'm going to check those out.

a reply to: Char-Lee

I missed his story too, thanks, and he IS a warm and gifted writer... and darnit, THAT's the problem... the guy was sorta ...well, "sweet."

Fooling so many people is the work of a sociopath (or plural), despite supposed motivations. The story and personality writing it didn't seem like it originated with a sociopath... but maybe a really, really good (bad) one ... dunno, but I just didn't get that flavor of egotistical vibe from the poster involved... at all.

This is one of the few times in 40 years of looking at strange claims that I'm really forced to admit that until better info is found, it is a firm magic 8-ball "all sign point to yes" or a slightly better than 50-50 shot at having truth to it. And when regarding the content... that's crazy. Oh, well...