Being a virgin for a long time or even till the death

For me waiting for a prince from God is naturally keeping my virginity till the day of wedding. From believer's perspective and from secular perspective it can looks differently.

Daily we can see on the street lots of couples and it's always hard for somebody who is single to not to think about her or his private life.

Probably secular singles who are still virgin are minority and it has to be for them hard to admit before secular experienced friends that they do not use their freedom and try to making love with anybody who likes her or him.

For church members it's usually normal to talk about purity before marriage or about purity as a single.

When you look at your friends or family members who are single, who of them are happier those who decided to forget about any sexual life or those who as singles and experience on many levels? You can share your experiences too.

So you're the one...

Congratulations on your Chastity.

I find your attitude refreshing.

I think many people who are virgins have sexual experiences in a dream who are real as they would have it in reality with somebody. And it's strange, especially when you are teenager or even a child and when you are believer who wants to keep sexual purity.

I was a happy to be, virgin until I was about twenty six years old. Lets pretend it was by choice when in reality it wasn't and more down to my looks. I was often given the 'You're a laugh but you're not a looker, are you?' response when chatting or trying to chat people up, so never really bothered to deal with it.

It of course played on my mind when I saw people out and about and couples in films that were madly in love but after my first time I really did and still do regret it. It was with someone who meant very little to me and who I saw as being the hurdle that i could jump (Hope you get the metaphor). I've always been someone who has been kept back, by this I mean not very social and so I say if you're still a virgin well done, you've managed to ignore all the issues and promises of it being AMAZING (When it isn't really all that) and held strong to your belief.

I'm not religious in the extreme, I believe in a creator but that's about it, I've never belonged to any religion but I will say that I honestly and wish I'd waited until I met someone who I care about. They do say Sex is better when its with someone you love rather than someone who's basically a living sex doll.

So again, Well done and I wish I had had you're strength of will.

originally posted by: AnnieWolf19
I think many people who are virgins have sexual experiences in a dream who are real as they would have it in reality with somebody. And it's strange, especially when you are teenager or even a child and when you are believer who wants to keep sexual purity.

I don't think those count. There all kinda pheromoneish things that effect brain chemistry that wouldn't be simulated in a dream.

Sorry but to me purity has nothing to do with having sex or not having sex and has everything to do with my heartfelt feelings towards my prospective mate. Why does a woman have to be " pure" while men do not? This whole thing doesn't make sense to me. It harkens back to when women were chattel and property of the male. When they hung the bloody sheet out the bedroom window the morning after to prove to the whole community that she belonged to only him.
What happens if your husband turns out to be very bad at sex. You don't know until it's too late. Also what about if your husband dies or you get divorced (probably because he can't get you off) and you want to get married again. You can't grow back a hyman. Isn't true love for your second husband pure enough.? Anyway I promise you your prospective husband is probably not "saving" himself for his wedding night.
Lastly the first time hurts. Who wants pain and fear to be what they remember most about their wedding day?

a reply to: AutumnWitch657

I don't think anyone mentioned it being just women, I think its the same for both sides of the gender. Secondly, and No i'm not talking from personal experience (well not completely) but because your husband was bad at sex you'd consider leaving him? it takes time to get to know someones likes and dislikes but that's beside the point.

I don't like the fact that you would try to make this a gender war, Man or Woman, it doesn't matter. If you can hold to your own beliefs and want to stay away from having sex, that should be your choice and nothing to do with your gender.

a reply to: AnnieWolf19

First off I am proud of you, Sensible and correct in a time when too many see sex as a casual experience and too many children really do not know who there father is.
It is even a minefield in other way's such as venerial and fungal infections some of which are lethal and other's may cause cancer and sickness but hide without being detected until it is too late.
The other minefield of course is what they other person is really like as we all tend to wear two faces and the nicest person can have a dark side.
The best thing is to love the person first and when sex does not matter (though it is one hell of a torment with all those hormones rushing about) then you know it is one of the right one's.
Even among friend's though Sex can ruin there friendship and it being the perhaps most intimite thing that two consenting adult's can do together it can make them see one another totally differently afterward's.
Just never be pressured into it, If it is really all that matter's to a guy he is not truly someone that loves you but if he is willing to wait then maybe it is right.

Best of luck, God bless and I hope you meet mister right somewhere out there but Remember looking for Mr perfect is also not correct, perfect does not exist and take a man who may seem frosty or distant or evasive, that is a defence like a mask he put's on to hide behind and sometime's tragically two people can be in love but neither ever break's the ice.

a reply to: Danny85

I don't know if it's a case of strong will. Many virgins (including me) do not want to spend rest of their lives alone with sentence in mind "I'm old and I am a virgin", but it's very often a case of not expecting that stopping being a virgin will ever happen. For some people being forever a virgin is a case of character, being a dreamer-dreaming about "right person" (who even had previously sex experiences-for example in believer's world-rebel who converted, but in earlier life was a man for every woman and after finding God he wants to have a virgin as a wife) and it's as normal as for somebody having someone to making love everyday.

Well, throughout centuries many beautiful young and old men and women died as virgins. Well, life is not always so beautiful as we see on the street.

Unfortunately very often being a virgin especially among friends or family members who ask you all the time the question "do you have someone?" and when you try to tell them that you haven't in a good way, you can always see ironic smile-it's painful.

Being a single virgin is a challenge, especially to the end of life in a society full of lovers.

originally posted by: AnnieWolf19
For me waiting for a prince from God is naturally keeping my virginity till the day of wedding. From believer's perspective and from secular perspective it can looks differently.

A Prince from God? In a way I admire your idealism but in the real world I can only wish you peace and love from someone who appreciates you for who you are. Prince, pauper, or plumber we're all just humans trying to find a little grace in an ungrateful world.

originally posted by: AutumnWitch657
Sorry but to me purity has nothing to do with having sex or not having sex and has everything to do with my heartfelt feelings towards my prospective mate. Why does a woman have to be " pure" while men do not? This whole thing doesn't make sense to me. It harkens back to when women were chattel and property of the male. When they hung the bloody sheet out the bedroom window the morning after to prove to the whole community that she belonged to only him.
What happens if your husband turns out to be very bad at sex. You don't know until it's too late. Also what about if your husband dies or you get divorced (probably because he can't get you off) and you want to get married again. You can't grow back a hyman. Isn't true love for your second husband pure enough.? Anyway I promise you your prospective husband is probably not "saving" himself for his wedding night.
Lastly the first time hurts. Who wants pain and fear to be what they remember most about their wedding day?

I agree with you on many aspects. People take purity and turn it into it's own religion, I feel.

On a religious side, even Jesus said that in Heaven, there is no marriage, when asked about the woman who married more then once.

King David, had thousands of wives.

I also agree with the aspect you made about "horrible lovers". If it's your first time, for both the male and female. It's going to be quite awkward, and probably very un-amazing. Even if it's done patiently, and with care, there is still going to be pain for the female, the first time.

I've read things about "marriage" being something the Catholic church came up with, as a means of control for the unwashed masses during the ending of the European Dark ages.

Now our government uses that as a method for keeping track of property and taxation. (btw, I am married, just celebrated 9 years the other day).

Anniewolf19 -

In my opinion, sex is fine and dandy, just make sure that if your going to engage in it, that it's safe, and with someone where there is a mutual emotional bond.. Bumping uglies with strangers, is both lacking an emotional attachment, and will lack in sexual fulfillment. (It also takes time to learn another person's body, and what gives them the most pleasure.. so if he or she is not going to take the time to learn, they're being selfish and it will ultimately lead to being dis-satisfaction.)

I applaud you for being selective. Just make sure it's worth it when you decide to change things.

You gotta love some wisdom of the Forrest Gump

Not all chocolates are good.. some can be sour and dull. The choice what you do with your life and decision which path you take is only yours no matter what others tell you.
Im actually glad of the choice i made.. because it opened my eyes to see that people change and not always show their true colors and when i thought about would i really want this man to be the father of my future kids and realized that no i dont ( my first love we dated several years ) i ended the relationship. If i had been naive and waited to the marriage i would not be where i am now. My second relationship was a healing one ( he was a model guy lol ) to my self esteem, first one was narcistic A-hole, third one is my hubby with whom we have a beautiful son and harmonic life with a lot of love and attraction.
Not all chocolates are good.. Go Forrest Go

a reply to: olaru12

I just used this word "prince" a joke. Everybody knows that princes will not pay attention if you are not princess. So I can not count on prince.

Would you submit to a lifetime of bad sex. I am married 33 years and we are still very intimate with each other. Sex is a very important aspect of a relationship. Would you leave a husband Or wife who was lazy? Was unable to hold down a job? Was a liar or cheater? Why would these reasons. be ok but not bad sex?
And yes, I broke up with a guy because he was an inconsiderate lover and didn't get the job done. onle reply to: Danny85

The God you personify gave you the ability to find a mate. Hes not going to make the guy walk right into you on the street and tell you that hes the one. There are 3.5 billion men on the planet. Surely one of them is a good match for you. You can easily find one.

I know a few people in your shoes. And honestly, its frustrating. Its not the fact that you haven't found the guy that's the problem, its your pickyness and your fear that he won't be as Godly of a man as you want. Stop classifying people as secular or Christian. We were all made by the same stardust and at some point, the same creator.

I used to be a hardcore Christian, and I married an agnostic beauty. She showed me so much, and has actually 100% changed my beliefs in a good way. I still believe in some kind of a creator, but the bible is not the word of the creator.

I hope you find your prince charming but I hope the one Your God sets in front of you is a secular man with an open mind.

a reply to: AnnieWolf19

Good for you! You have standards and common sense. Sex, while fun can have a bad tendency, to make thing worse in what was once a good relationship. Money can do that as well.

There is nothing wrong with taking your time. Letting others pressure you into doing something, either through peer pressure or keeping up with the latest gossip/fad never leads to a good thing either.

Just be you. You'll be happier that way in the long run.

a reply to: AnnieWolf19
This is not a personal attack on you OP. It is simply my perspective on it. You also have to remember, this is coming from the mind of a heathen.

Lets see if I have this right. God creates a species with a specific set of natural inclinations, and then says...
"I know. I'll ask them to deny themselves all of those attributes that come naturally to them to prove they love me. Especially the pleasurable ones. On top of that. I'll make them ashamed of the bodies I gave them, and sex, the most pleasurable of all of them, dirty and nasty, and shameful. Unless of course, I give them my permission through a special ritual. Then of course, it becomes okay as long as they do it within guidelines. Now how can I convince them all of this is spiritual? Oh, I know..."

Yeah. That sounds reasonable...er...not.
We are sexual beings. It's part of our nature, and it's nothing to be ashamed of. Nor is it nasty or dirty in any way. Nor is it something to be abstained from because there's something wrong with enjoying it. Abstinence and chastity is patriarchal religious BS. And since it works so well on women, and aids in their oppression, lets adopt it for men too.

Hip hip horraya reply to: Klassified

I feel like I wasted my twenties with almost 0 relationships. don't let that happen to you, please if you are young
have relationships, sex, everything. its not time you can get back .