My lamest thread ever!

Let me first say that I'm not the type to search for affirmations but damn....am I unattractive or something? If I think I'm better looking than I really am, someone should just put me out of my misery. Whenever I try online dating and send a pic on CL or POF, I get nothing. In fact, I seem to be scaring people away. I've never considered myself any more than average so if I can't even find equal reciprocation in potentials, wth? Yes, I guess I'm fishing. But for truth. These online dating sites really throw a wrench into how we perceive ourselves...damn right humbling I must say.

So what gives? Do I come off looking like a player? A wise guy? Or what I really am. A stable mentally sound and reliable guy. Who am I ???

Thanks.

a reply to: FlySolo

Dude, you're a good-looking dude. And I'm a dude. Not that kind of dude. I know it's tough finding someone you mesh with. It's certainly not because you're unattractive. Chin up, be steadfast, and good luck!

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

ahah, thanks man. Compliments from men are sometimes more telling.
Cheers.

a reply to: FlySolo
lol Im a woman of the rainbow if you will, and if my life hit a weird quirk and I found myself looking for a different kind of change, Id give you a response. Perhaps it isnt the look, but maybe what you have to say in the describe yourself part???

a reply to: onehuman

Sure I understand. But let's not get all psychological on "words". Let's be purely superficial.

wait a minute. ETA: thanks. I get you

a reply to: FlySolo

lol, your welcome. Nothing like the "AHA" moment eh?

a reply to: onehuman

You're Canadian too aren't you? eh..

haha ya took me a sec but I got it.

a reply to: FlySolo
lol Im adopted, I could actually be anything or from anywhere. I just thought you'd appreciate the pun of it all

a reply to: onehuman

I certainly do appreciate the fun. Especially getting a compliment from the "rainbow'" persuasion. Made my day erm, night

a reply to: FlySolo
Lol, have you ever tried just using your goat avatar for your picture? I bet that would get some responses! Maybe not exactly what you had in mind, but certianly a ice breaker I bet...... Nnnaaaaaaaahhhhhh. Nevermind!

a reply to: onehuman

That''s a good idea but i would probably have my profile or pic banned for not meeting the T&C.

So what do you look like if I may be so bold to ask? Just...well, you know...curious hehehe.

a reply to: FlySolo


From a female perpective that's around the same age as you (I'm guessing by your photo), you ARE a handsome looking man. If I were single, damn straight I'd answer you back. LOL.



But I think I'm also going to take a stab at what I think your problem might be (please correct me if I'm wrong):

If you're on that "Plenty of Fish" dating website, you're going to have one hell of a time trying to snag a woman from that site. It's a free dating site and therefore, there's literally hundreds of thousands of fish to wade through. So everyone is going to become oober picky because... well, because they can.

Another words, if you're not Brad Pitt.... you haven't a hope in hell on that site.

I've had a number of friends try that site for years (both male and female) and the female's get literally 20 messages a day to pick and choose from, whereas the males are getting next to nothing.

Your best bet is to sit back and hope that a nice lady sends a message your way instead of you being the chaser... let them make the initial step. You're standing in a long lineup of other contestants on that site, so you need to let the gals do the chasing.

So don't take it personally.

It's not you... it's just the way that site works.



"Plenty of Fish" is more of a meat market environment because of its free membership.

If you're truly serious about finding someone from a dating site, you have a better chance with the paid membership ones.




Amirite about you being on the POF website ?!

a reply to: FlySolo
Fortunate for whatever dating site you go too, you've had good ATS training and would never break T&C.

As far as what I look like? Lol I can say two things in public at least, My soul looks like my avatar and I am the woman behind the words, what do they look like to you?

All this really isn't here nor there, this is your thread about you and I don't want to be derailing it. Lol T&C and such.

a reply to: onehuman

You're always welcome to inbox me if you feel this thread may get 'derailed' with our out of context and rampant T&C violations. And yes...lol. ATS has trained me well; like a good servant to the almighty public forum

My soul looks like my avatar and I am the woman behind the words, what do they look like to you?

Friendly

a reply to: CranialSponge

Or....could it be the city I'm in? These are the things I'm trying to figure out. It's been 11 years already. Sad eh? lol

Firstly, not sure if you noticed, but your last post pput you at 4000 comments on ATS. Good for you and congradulations. Time well spent I hope

Secondly, I'm old enough to be a old school woman, and even though I may be a woman of the rainbow, I do know it just wouldn't be lady like to be private messaging a strange man first!
Lol , I can only imagine what the other members are thinking of all this...

originally posted by: onehuman
Firstly, not sure if you noticed, but your last post pput you at 4000 comments on ATS. Good for you and congradulations. Time well spent I hope

Secondly, I'm old enough to be a old school woman, and even though I may be a woman of the rainbow, I do know it just wouldn't be lady like to be private messaging a strange man first!
Lol , I can only imagine what the other members are thinking of all this...

he ya you're right! this would make 4002 now. What a weird milestone. ATS has actually helped me grow verbally and intellectually. I learned many things I thunk.

Yes, don't talk to strangers. Privately. This, however doesn't really count as communication

There are horses for courses so it might not be about how good looking you are but about the messages you are sending out using a particular photo. Remember using such sites and expecting responses is putting yourself out there in a competitive marketplace. Think how a woman might choose another guy over you.

I suggest you try updating your image, perhaps a more modern hairstyle, lose the facial hair, open shirt and earing and get a better quality photo doing something more exciting or in a nicer environment than looking like you didn't want a snapshot taken of you walking around your house, it gives an appearance of not taking it seriously or being lazy, blase.

Also consider the things you are saying about yourself and giving the right impression.

If those sites are as competitive as another poster suggests and if you are serious about finding dates from there (I would be wary of the entire thing) you should rethink your image to a more contemporary style, it shows the ability to adapt, being forward thinking and that you aren't stuck in an era or how you looked during a previous relationship.

It isn't criticism and is meant as good advice.

www.wired.com...

I think your quite handsome!

Tom Selleck isn´t good fashion model.. i agree in previous poster about the shirt and facial hair, those two features sends a message of a "macho" man and macho culture is not exactly ( what do i know lol ) appealing. I actually do like facial hair when its not excessive and more like a stubble ( which is not there forever... ) or well trimmed beard which doesn´t resemble a jungle ( did i really wrote that ? )
You have kind caring eyes so the game is not "over"