For the Men.

a reply to: zosimov

Reminds me of the time when I had just moved to Portland, OR and got chewed out for holding a door open for a woman.

I politely explained it had nothing to do with her being a woman, and everything to do with the 6 foot stack of boxes she was trying maneuver on a dolly through the 7-11 door.

But, whatever. I was raised in the south to open doors for people and to at least act like a gentleman. Also, shout out to the woman on the side of the road in Centralia, WA who jumped in her car and screamed at me when I stopped to help her change her tire on a dark rainy road one night.

Chivalry and the PNW doesn't mix that well.

a reply to: underwerks

Thank you for flipping this to page 2.

I am a crusty, grizzled, gray-haired old man.

I think people expect and tolerate it from my generation.

I never have had anyone get upset when I held the door.

I got daughters roaming this world always hope that if they are ever in need somebody polite will help them, so I hold doors as I always have for women and my elders, stop and ask if somebody needs help etc. just takes a few minutes ...

originally posted by: zosimov

This is for all of the good men out there.

I hate getting shut out of a thread in the first sentence.

a reply to: zosimov

MGTOW will be very impressed with your words - a lack of women such as yourself is why they are rising fast in numbers - and I'm being deadly serious.

**APPLAUSE**

Its problematic to put a label on "all men" or all anything.. with a mind of its own in a free world.
And I think that is ok

Hey guys, I really appreciate all of your responses. Some definitely made me laugh (looking at you, Augustus and knowledgehunter) but also lots to think about.

And Spacespider, absolutes can get us in a lot of trouble, I agree.

That said, I absolutely want to raise my son to be a gentleman and also raise my daughter to discern between the gentlemanly and ungentlemanly, and how to repel the first and welcome and the other with grace.

Nice OP!

I'm a very small female type person, so I'm grateful that there are a few guys at work that will stop to help out if I'm struggling with something very heavy, like a wooden pallet or those large and heavy 65 inch tvs. The rest just keep on walking by. I feel awkward in asking for help though, like I'm bothering them and it's not their job.

Those women who get offended by a man offering assistance are idiots and so damned brainwashed by the warped version of "feminism" it's not even funny.

I can't speak for anyone else, but thank you for the words and sentiments. I personally never saw it as doing anything special, and try to hold the door open for others as often as possible.

Changing flat tires is a bit "iffy" in these times, but I am guilty of stopping to lend a hand (or tool, more often) to disabled motorist

It is good to see some folks still think critically about these issues, and realize they are minor things some people choose to do to be kind to others. Even if it is a meaningless and zero-impact act of kindness, what can it possibly hurt?

I never had any feeling or thought of sexism or looked at it as denigrating in any way. I would not do such things if I even had an inkling that was the case

Thanks for posting such a thankful post, it was pleasant to read and see that theres still ppl who actually are thankful for ppl being just ppl, i mean like ,such a things should be normal/common behaviour between us humans, yet is it?

Couple summers ago i was driving home and saw large elderly man sitting in the middle of the road and cars kept passing him and ppl kept walking and avoiding to even look at him so i stopped my scooter right there in middle of the road and checked if hes okey, well he was wasted and mumbled something, i just picked hes sandals and put em on and lift him up, asked if hes gonna need help to walk but he was already moving.. towards the pub i might add
Yet while i was helping him ppl slowed their cars down and kept eyeballing me like i was going to steal from him or something.

Thanks and graditude for all men and women whom still keeps their humanity without distance!

a reply to: zosimov

Some (very few) females make it difficult at times but it has never deterred me. It is their problem and insecurities, not mine, but can be a little disheartening.
One female co-worker was irate when I held the door for her, to which I explained I held the door for the guys too. She said it made her look weak. Same woman another time I said "yes ma'am" to her. Another ass eating, again I explained I say yessir to the men, but it didn't matter.
You don't run into those very often but when you do, you learn to avoid them like the plague.
My daughter broke up with her boyfriend last week and I just hugged her and didn't say anything bad about him just in case. I even stopped her from destroying the letters and pictures. Two days later they were back together and she ditched me for birthday diner!!! She's forgiven though and I love her like no one else.

See? All men need is a little ego stroke once in a while.

Personally speaking, I was raised to have good manners and to be polite with everyone, women included.


But, as I entered into and adjusted to the corporate world of America, I stopped any degree of "chivalrous" behavior. Women, in the workplace, want to be treated as equals. So, I oblige.


One rather curious thing I've noticed over the decades..... women will *rarely* hold the door open for you.

Things that make you go Hmmmm......

a reply to: zosimov

Beautiful and refreshing post. Thank you!

Some women might be straight up hostile, suspicious, ungrateful.

I've realized over my life that *some* women mistake genuine goodwill and kindness for flirtation. Perhaps it was due to public gestures of kindness being so rare these days or years of constant harassment by depraved men. Who knows? I just know, based on my own experiences, *most* seem to be on your wavelength of appreciation.

In saying this, I appreciate your post, YOU, and women in this world whose name is not Hillary Clinton.

a reply to: LesMisanthrope

See? All men need is a little ego stroke once in a while.

Not to be a pig, but ego ain't the only stroken' men need once in a while ... woman, too ... dogs, cats... many mammals like a stroke ...or few hundred.

Like how many licks does it take to get to the center ... nevrmnd, dated, obtuse and dumb. I almost ruined a perfectly lovely thread.

I'll hold the door for myself... carry on gentleman ... ladies.... others.

Thank you. I would like to apologize for all the pig-men out there...we're not ALL like that.

a reply to: zosimov

This wams many mens hearts. thank you. Both men and women have roles to play and they both are two halfs to one another. Let the natural prevail

Cheers

I was raised with very old fashioned standards. To me chivalry is perfectly natural. I was always curious why more men didn't do it. It doesn't cost anything. Its not difficult. It doesn't hurt. It makes people happy. And it makes you feel good about yourself. Why not do it?

I open doors, hold chairs, help with coats, all the usual stuff. When we walk down the street I am on the curb side, not my wife. She isn't for sale, and if one of us is going to get splashed or hit by something its going to be me.

I will also kiss a lady's hand, but I will do it properly. Its sad that most men don't even know there is a proper way to do it. When a gentlemen kisses a lady's hand, he doesn't kiss the hand itself. A lady doesn't need a bunch of strange men slobbering all over her. Well, maybe once in a while on a weekend... When a man kisses a lady's hand he doesn't kiss the hand itself, only the layer of air that touches it. If he truly respects and adores her, that is good enough for him until she lets him go further.

I don't know if people still do that. My hand kissing days are over, except for my wife that is. (the romance doesn't end when you get married) I suspect not. In todays world that is probably considered assault. What a shame.

It's funny but I open doors for people and help those who need just a little assistance.

I would be surprised if someone were rude to me about this but that's just me.

Thanks for the post, it was nice