Girlfriend wearing ex-fiance's ring...

tell her to get rid of it if your relationship is comitted, I would but then again i'm just a bas*ard

Originally posted by Goldcurrent
Either she is still hung up on the ex. or is dropping a very (not) so subtle hint for you to buy her a ring. Either way that's a pretty messed up thing to do and I would seriously think twice before considering going any further in the relationship.

I could be wrong, but I can't see very many women trying to drop the hint that they want a ring by wearing one. Starring at their empty ring finger, looking at jewelry magazines and ads. Walking slowly past jewelry stores at the mall, those are hints. By wearing a ring on your ring finger I would think that would convey the message thins finger is taken don't consider buying me a ring. It didn't occur to me until now but if I was ever afraid that a guy was planning on proposing and I was sure I would turn down the offer that would be a good way to give him the hint not to.

reply to post by Mister_Bit
Its obvious that she views you as weak, and has done for sometime. She is wearing that ring to try to get a strong reaction from you (also known as a sh#t test). This is a no win for you, even if you do react more sh#t tests will follow. She may or may not be cheating on you, but she is almost certainly thinking about it If she is promiscous then its a safe bet she has cheated more than once. I realise this is harsh my friend but I will wager you will never find happiness with this girl, so you may as well get out now.

Maybe she just likes the rings. Perhaps they were packed away or she recently ran across them and just likes the way they look. Unless she has said or done something to make you suspicious, I wouldn't make too much of it. After all she is with you and that's what counts, IMO. Oh and she could have lied about where they came from but she was honest.

Either she's back with the ring buying sap, and being blatant about it, or she's wanting you to be the next ring buying sap. I am sorry for you.

Originally posted by thegoods724
use her and then lose her, obvious shes a dumb ho, its easy to see how messed up that is. If she doesnt care about u enough on this situation she doesnt really care about u.

That's the worst advice I've ever heard. What is this, High School?

People don't just "break up" over miniscule things like this, be mature, work it out.

Jeez..

tell her that you dont like her wearing exes rings,step 2 if she continues,and you stay in the relationship,then your going to be and feel like a puss.do not tip toe around the subject.and besides she is only your girlfriend,there are plenty of good women out there.if you are feeling this way now(insecure,jealous),imagine when you are engaged or worse married to this person.sometimes you have to cut and run until you find the right fit,and most important,dont settle.ps;found my fit over 20 years ago.good luck

People make mistakes!
Not everyone is savy on the rules of dating...

So if it is bothering you go talk to her...

It could just be a misunderstanding?

But talk to her... If its an innocent mistake, dont be harsh.
Just tell her you are out of your comfort zone with her wearing them...
If she still keeps wearing them... Get out of that relationship!

For the record... When i first got with the girl who would be my wife...
She had just ended a engagement... She had a fistfull of rings... That came from her ex...
Just Plain ole rings... After her and I got her things from his place rings included... She thrashed the rings...
I saw one ring in the trash, not thinking i was like "wow cool ring" i was told in a hurry it needed to be trash lol

I wish you luck my friend

If the rings are of any value, maybe she could sell them and buy new ones or if worth enough maybe something for both of you. That way you're both happy.

Leave her, she still has feelings. You clinging on will push her away. Leave her and she will cry and wear your rings, and beg for you back. Don't cling, be nice. Maybe tell her it's really been bothering you and that you need time away. It will work, or she will go back to him...

reply to post by Mister_Bit


yah dude, not cool. I'm with ya on that one. just say no.

I can see only three scenarios here..

either she is being honest and this other person was so meaningless to her she doesn't even think about the person when she wears the gifts they gave her

or

she is lying and she has feelings for this person still and she was wearing the rings because she was on her way to go meet up with him

or

she is trying to get you to buy her some jewelry so she can stop wearing this other guys gifts.

just my thoughts. best of luck to you in working this out.

Originally posted by Mister_Bit
Hi guys,

Recently my girlfriend started wearing a couple of rings I'd never seen before, turns out they are from her ex-fiance.

I'm really screwed up on this now and find I can't get close to her, she say's they're just rings but to me they are a symbol.

Maybe I'm old fashioned or something but to me this is wrong, I get somekind of mental barrier in my head saying she's some other guys girl.

What do you guys think?

Given that you've already mentioned it to her, and she shrugged it off then distanced herself, I'd say it's time to show her the door.

reply to post by Mister_Bit


Most likely, if they have common sense, they buy a ring their girl likes. If the relationship didn't end badly, she is just wearing a ring she likes. If it is worth a lot of money, even more so. I wouldn't give up a nice ring just because an ex bought it.

I know plenty of women who wear old engagement or wedding rings on a different finger because they love the ring, nothing more.

If she bought a ring and its in the closet, it might be saved for a special occassion, or there is something she doesnt like about it and is taking it back.

Originally posted by Mister_Bit
Hi guys,

Recently my girlfriend started wearing a couple of rings I'd never seen before, turns out they are from her ex-fiance.

I'm really screwed up on this now and find I can't get close to her, she say's they're just rings but to me they are a symbol.

Maybe I'm old fashioned or something but to me this is wrong, I get somekind of mental barrier in my head saying she's some other guys girl.

What do you guys think?

It's a no brainer dude... she's got issues. She needs to be really honest with you or you need to start planning an exit strategy...

...She should be ashamed of herself, that is a pure no no...to the pawn shop this instant or else!
She would have to think of the memories when she received those rings by seeing them and how she felt then, and that is not what I would want at all if I were you!
Set her straight, if she cant understand that is royally wrong, then she's not serious about your relationship at all!
How would she feel if you wore something of your exes?...or have you?

Sounds like its time to find another girl

You seriously going to let that slide? The sheer disrespect towards you, and now she's set the tone and pace maaaan time for her to go at least into some time out.

Thats not a yellowcard, really its a red card, and when you get a red card you gotta go.

two yellow cards = a red card

1 red card gotta go

talk to her about it....

reply to post by Mister_Bit


As long as it's not on her engagement finger, no big deal really. It's just jewelry man, get over it. The insecurity, and the turn-off for her that it's gotta be, aren't worth it.

The solution? Get her some new stuff she likes better...if you're able.

I've been giving this a bit of thought and it seems to me that you could set up a situation that could turn into a power struggle if you object to your girlfriend wearing the rings. Your objection might not be met very sympathetically as she may feel that you're trying to tell her what to do.

Then you'll be sitting there wondering how to resolve the issue without losing face or ending the relationship.

My suggestion is, and hear me out, wait until the next time she wears the ring(s) and tell her how silly you feel because you'd been a bit worried about her wearing them and that of course she should wear them if she likes them. This will give you the chance to watch, very carefully, her reaction.

1) If she was wearing the rings to make you jealous enough to buy her a new one, well you've just peed on her firework.

2) If she's wearing the rings because she still has feelings for her ex, then she already holds more cards than you do. You can't stop her from feeling something for someone else and you're best to distance yourself.

3) If she was genuinely wearing the rings because she likes them and was just being a bit insensitive towards you, then you've lost nothing by being 'big' about it and she'll be happy. She may even stop wearing them since you've been so reasonable.

BUT, remember this situation in your future dealings with her. Be very careful about what you object to. Nine times out of ten things just aren't important enough to get worked up about. The trick is to know the one time out of ten when you need to object and stand your ground.

I don't know if this business with the ring counts as one of the times, but if you voluntarily drop your objections you will be opening the door for a discussion which might prove useful. Plus you'll get an indicator how sensitive she is towards you when you raise an issue.