Girlfriend wearing ex-fiance's ring...

Hi guys,

Recently my girlfriend started wearing a couple of rings I'd never seen before, turns out they are from her ex-fiance.

I'm really screwed up on this now and find I can't get close to her, she say's they're just rings but to me they are a symbol.

Maybe I'm old fashioned or something but to me this is wrong, I get somekind of mental barrier in my head saying she's some other guys girl.

What do you guys think?

reply to post by Mister_Bit


i wouldn't be able to deal with that...

If shes waring those rings, to me that means theres still some unresolved emotions that remain from whoever gave them to her...

Though she might just be trying to get a reaction out of you, to see how you feel about her...

Tell her honestly what you think about her waring them...

Honestly is the best policy

use her and then lose her, obvious shes a dumb ho, its easy to see how messed up that is. If she doesnt care about u enough on this situation she doesnt really care about u.

she knows full well what those rings symbolically mean. what i would ask myself if i was in your shoes is where is her ex fiance now. if hes living a decent way away i wouldnt be worried.

i have done that and it was only because i still had feelings for the guy, even though i would never admit that to my new boyfriend! just a bit of honesty! it was totally a horrible thing to do but i never said i was a saint either!

Definitely unresolved issues on her part. If you tell her how you feel about the rings and the symbolism they have, and if she still wears them, then she doesn't care about your feelings and is just jerking you around.

The best, although the toughest, course of action is to tell her that, if she insists on wearing them in your presence, then you will no longer see her because it is disrespectful and indicative of her lack of feelings towards what you have together.

Then stick with it. Walk out and don't look back.

Depends if the rings were for an engagement or not. If it was just a gift, you cannot expect her to get rid of them. I still have jewelry and pictures of ex-girlfriends, and I would under no circumstance want to give them up or lose them.

The people in my past were a part of my life. Whether or not they will be in the future.

Originally posted by boncho
Depends if the rings were for an engagement or not. If it was just a gift, you cannot expect her to get rid of them. I still have jewelry and pictures of ex-girlfriends, and I would under no circumstance want to give them up or lose them.

The people in my past were a part of my life. Whether or not they will be in the future.

Engagement ring, yeah.

at the end of the day its just peices of metal, you could have bigger problems.

everyones comments so far seam to be a sane way of looking at the situation.

Originally posted by antinwo101
i have done that and it was only because i still had feelings for the guy, even though i would never admit that to my new boyfriend! just a bit of honesty! it was totally a horrible thing to do but i never said i was a saint either!

Thanks, it's good to hear from honest people even if it isn't what you want to hear lol

Originally posted by Mister_Bit

Originally posted by boncho
Depends if the rings were for an engagement or not. If it was just a gift, you cannot expect her to get rid of them. I still have jewelry and pictures of ex-girlfriends, and I would under no circumstance want to give them up or lose them.

The people in my past were a part of my life. Whether or not they will be in the future.

Engagement ring, yeah.

That's a different story. I dated a girl once who kept hers to pass on to her daughter at the right age. But given that it was his kid, that made complete sense. She also let her Mother wear it, which I thought wasn't a bad idea either.

However, her wearing with me would not have been kosher.

It looks like you are due for a new girlfriend. Sorry mate.

Thanks guys, I was beginning to feel I was "wrong" for feeling this was wrong somehow.

I couldn't understand, to me it would be totally disrespectful to wear an ex partner's ring with a new partner, especially with this being an engagement ring.

I've pulled back emotionally from her and building barriers, I guess I'm preparing for the worst to be honest.

All depends. If you two are a fresh couple then if she still feels the need to wear those rings she is consoling herself and dealing with the past ex. So she might need more time to get over whatever it is she needs to get over. (one scenario) You catch what i'm saying bout new relationships.

If you two are in it for the long haul then she needs to ditch those gifts. Way uncool on her part. Some men would leave on that alone. Cant blame them. So that's the best I got. Good luck bro and don't take any s#!t.

Girls put a lot of meaning into rings. My mom would go off on my dad if the ring wasn't on his finger because he was working on his lathe. Your girl knows damn well what wearing her ex's ring implies.

reply to post by Mister_Bit


You said it it yourself with the word "symbol," which is right on target (in a sense). More than just looks, the reason why she might be wearing them is because they represent fond memories. I wonder is she feels it important to wear them. Why not ask???

i've worn ex boyfriend rings before for the simple reason that i liked them, stop being so paranoid!

reply to post by Mister_Bit


First off, dont trip out yet! Cause that alone will start problems.
Second, unless something dramatic happened, or your really noticing big changes leave it.
I say this because they are just rings, and they are just material items. Her feelings for you are more real than any piece of metal could be. Anything could have made her start wearing them. Maybe her friends got something new and shiny so she wanted to fill that void, or maybe she refound them and wanted to floss a little bit.
Third, by posting this info on here, i can already tell that your kinda venting, which is cool.
Fourth, It will all work out fine.

reply to post by Mister_Bit


Now your manifesting a problem brotha. Just chill out.

Originally posted by JunoTheGreat
reply to post by Mister_Bit

 

First off, dont trip out yet! Cause that alone will start problems.
Second, unless something dramatic happened, or your really noticing big changes leave it.
I say this because they are just rings, and they are just material items. Her feelings for you are more real than any piece of metal could be. Anything could have made her start wearing them. Maybe her friends got something new and shiny so she wanted to fill that void, or maybe she refound them and wanted to floss a little bit.
Third, by posting this info on here, i can already tell that your kinda venting, which is cool.
Fourth, It will all work out fine.

Thanks, I understand what you're saying but there is more...

She bought herself a sparkly new ring about a month ago, which is sat on the bedroom cabinet and has been there for about 3 weeks, so I guess if she wanted to display sparkles she's got one there.

I just don't seem to be able to get around the fact that they're just material objects, to me they're a symbol of something.. rings as a gift, that's ok I guess, I could get over that but an ex-fiance's engagement ring? I don't know.. kind of leaves me feeling sick inside.

I'm going to sound really shallow here but, if it's an expensive ring, she might just like the ring.

I have a ring from my ex ( 11 years ago), and I hate the ex, but I like the ring.
I NEVER wear it on the engagement finger, and I only wear it when I'm wearing a bunch of other rings, and my husband knows that I like the ring, but hate the ex.
So he seems to be ok with it.

One of these days, I'll get it redone, or sized for my pinky finger, make it look different, or something, but he didn't want it back and it's nice so I wear it occasionally, along with others.

Talk to her before you give up on here.

If it isn't an expensive or nice ring, then she should have chucked it out.