Shortest horror story ever! Seriously!

Originally posted by LobeDethFaurt

Originally posted by kid_cudi
Wait... You guys totally forgot about the guy that would sneak up on people and hit them in the balls with a stapler.. Whatever happened to him I wonder?

I thought that he was the one who went to the CEO and got Marcy kicked off of the VP Commission. Of course, that was only because she turned down his advances. THAT is when he started doing that to people, remember? He was ok for a character, but I just didn't connect with him, chiefly due to the fact that I have no balls. I lost them almost 15 years ago. Tragic marriage accident. I don't like to talk about it.

edit on 29-3-2011 by LobeDethFaurt because: spelling

Oh, wait!!! THIS is the vision we could have done without.

And those DAMNED AIR FRESHENERS!!!!

Originally posted by abecedarian

Originally posted by LobeDethFaurt

Originally posted by abecedarian

Originally posted by LobeDethFaurt

Originally posted by abecedarian

Originally posted by kid_cudi
reply to post by abecedarian

 

They were manual pencil sharpeners

Well duh! Who sharpens an automatic pencil?

Oh, it can be done. The outcome is usually quite disasterous. One time, I sharpened an electric pencil, and woke up in a dumpster in San Diego. Crazy stuff. Best left to the professionals.

Oh? That was you?

Yep. Me. But, not me. Someone else entirely. Me. You know, like that guy who does stuff, and goes places, and says things? Yeah. That guy.
I bet it was secretly you, masquerading as me. GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!

Now that was a vision you, I mean we could've done without.

And why do those air fresheners keep going off?

I think they have an off button. It should be on the side, just...there! No, you gotta hold it down....You're doing it wrong! Let me do it...Oh, great. Now you broke it. I'm telling!!! MOMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!

reply to post by LobeDethFaurt


You just made this story awkward with tragedy you just announced. I hope you are kidding. But back to the story. After Marcy got kicked off she was the one who would went around puking teeth onto peoples desks when they took bathroom breaks.

Originally posted by kid_cudi
reply to post by LobeDethFaurt

 

You just made this story awkward with tragedy you just announced. I hope you aren't serious and if you are I'm sorry to hear that. But back to the story. After Marcy got kicked off she was the one who would went around puking teeth onto peoples desks when they took bathroom breaks.

I think, to save us all, you should storyboard this and give up a "story up to now".

reply to post by abecedarian


I give up. But what happens now? All we know is that Marcy got kicked off! We can't leave it there. The story has not reached it's climax yet.

Hearing of the tragedy that has been bestowed upon Terra, the Dentrificans have mounted a fleet of ships destined for Terra in order to resurrect the civilization.
The humans that have managed to escape to Nibiru aren't happy to learn of this, though.
And Marcy isn't happy.

Originally posted by kid_cudi
reply to post by LobeDethFaurt

 

You just made this story awkward with tragedy you just announced. I hope you aren't serious and if you are I'm sorry to hear that. But back to the story. After Marcy got kicked off she was the one who would went around puking teeth onto peoples desks when they took bathroom breaks.

Yes, tragically, I AM married.

Anywayyyyy......

Marcy may have been the one who was puking teeth into people's desks, but I think the alien known as Fred made her do it. Remember the weird thing he kept pointing at her, towards the beginning? I bet it was a brainwashing ray (Not that she seemed to have much to wash!), and he was using it to control certain people. Actually, I think Marcy was in on it. Yeah, the more I think about it, she was also an alien. Just tragic about the way she went, hugging that large Hippo the way she was. If she had only hurried, she would have made it!

I just want to say this is hilarious minimalist story telling!
A work of genius...
Vicky

reply to post by LobeDethFaurt


But she did make it.. The hippo swallowed her and she's hiding inside of it until she can get to somewhere where teeth don't explode

Originally posted by kid_cudi
reply to post by LobeDethFaurt

 

But she did make it.. The hippo swallowed her and she's hiding inside of it until she can get to somewhere where teeth don't explode

edit on 29-3-2011 by kid_cudi because: (no reason given)

Maybe "Carpathia" since carp have minimal teeth, if any?

reply to post by abecedarian


No man your forgetting that they have exploding acid skin. Maybe she went to live with the guy that made a bad tooth and has one eye?

Originally posted by Vicky32
I just want to say this is hilarious minimalist story telling!

A work of genius...
Vicky

It's horror, not humor.

Originally posted by kid_cudi
reply to post by abecedarian

 

No man your forgetting that they have exploding acid skin. Maybe she went to live with the guy that made a bad tooth and has one eye?

See.... That's why you need to storyboard this.

Hay what about froodo , dathvader and mobus with there three some seen. Where does that fit in.

Yup second.

Yes, but don't you wonder where the Hippo came from in the first place?
I bet that a group of jets flew by, spraying chemtrails. They were spraying to hide nibiru, but an unfortunate event happened. A ball of plasma reacted with the chemtrail cloud, and somehow produced a hippo. Of course, the evil shadow-government decided that the hippo wasn't real, and so they sent it to live in the hollow earth. However, the greys took pitty on the poor hippo, who hadn't paid taxes in many years, and implanted a small device under the skin. The hippo didn't like the device, and so he tore it out, dropping it in the process. Of course, nobody believed him when he told them about the implant, and so he decided to roll around in a corn field. People thought it was a crop circle telling them to build a giant factory, which they built on that very site.

reply to post by abecedarian


Ok ok but seriously what happened bill from upper management?

reply to post by jsettica


Though we appreciate your contribution and comments, please try to stay on topic.
At least explain how those characters relate to the story.
I mean...
... did Frodo work in the factory?
... did Darth have something to do with the explosion?
... and what about the threesome (careful with the details)?

Originally posted by kid_cudi
reply to post by abecedarian

 

Ok ok but seriously what happened bill from upper management?

He was furloughed due to budget shortfalls.

Originally posted by abecedarian

Originally posted by kid_cudi
reply to post by abecedarian

 

Ok ok but seriously what happened bill from upper management?

He was furloughed due to budget shortfalls.

Yes, but after that happened, he went to work creating a time machine. After completion, he jumped in, not thinking about the consequences, and started hitting buttons. He arrived in the year 1,000,000,000 B.C., only to find a great civilization, with technology far more advanced than ours. They will not send him back, but they do have the technology to make someone live a very, very long time. He uses it, and he lives for the next however many years, until the day when the factory was built. He heads to the factory, but since he is so old, he can only move with a special suit. It takes him a long time to get there, and the moment he gets inside of the factory, it blows up. His teeth, being so old, vaporize when the explosion happens.

The end of Bill...POOF!

Originally posted by LobeDethFaurt
Yes, but don't you wonder where the Hippo came from in the first place?
I bet that a group of jets flew by, spraying chemtrails. They were spraying to hide nibiru, but an unfortunate event happened. A ball of plasma reacted with the chemtrail cloud, and somehow produced a hippo. Of course, the evil shadow-government decided that the hippo wasn't real, and so they sent it to live in the hollow earth. However, the greys took pitty on the poor hippo, who hadn't paid taxes in many years, and implanted a small device under the skin. The hippo didn't like the device, and so he tore it out, dropping it in the process. Of course, nobody believed him when he told them about the implant, and so he decided to roll around in a corn field. People thought it was a crop circle telling them to build a giant factory, which they built on that very site.

No; the chemtrails blocked the cosmic rays and such, preventing the plasma that would've otherwise destroyed the hippo. And the hippo, being of liberal mind, denied the existance of the shadow government, which is why it was sent inside the hollow earth: so it could claim it was saved by the government, not condemned.
George Noory did an interview.
It was oblivious to the fact the government did that so the hippo could be an example of how government wasn't able to help.

And the crop circles were really, only caused because the wheat was tired of standing up all the time so they arranged for shifts where some would fall over and others would stand. In exchange for standing, the seeds from the tired wheat would take root elsewhere and be allowed to fall over, creating another pattern.