Phoebe 'bullied to death'

I originally started posting this story...www.smh.com.au...

HEY! I WAS IN EDUCATION AND MEDIA - How did this story get posted in UFO's???

(Sorry - My bad) And I don't know how to move it.

Phoebe 'bullied to death'http://www.smh.com.au/world/girl-who-killed-herself-experienced-unrelenting-bullying-20100330-r8z4.html
There is a video I cannot manage to embed here but follow the links here www.smh.com.au... is worth seeing to help understand this story.
I will not accept answers along the lines of kids will be kids.
This is terrorism too. What types of examples do we set for children when we cannot seem to find peaceful resolutions to our own problems?

Bullying "Not Just a Part of Growing Up" Expert Says Expressing "Utter Contempt" for Others Is Learned Behavior, and Schools Must Be Safe Harbor for Students

www.cbsnews.com...

(CBS) School officials in South Hadley, Mass., have been criticized by parents for not doing enough to prevent the suicide death of 15-year-old Phoebe Prince, who killed herself after undergoing months of abuse from other students. Nine teenagers face charges raging from stalking to statutory rape, but prosecutors have not filed charges against school officials who, parents say, were warned in advance of the harassment. Barbara Coloroso, an educator and an expert on bullying who has spoken to parents and administrators at the school before and after Phoebe's suicide, said she believed school officials had for the most part taken the issue of bullying seriously.

How can we take constructive steps to solve this problem in the schools and with our children ?(without people getting up in your face saying you are planning government take over of the schools and the kids minds)




[edit on 30-3-2010 by rusethorcain]

reply to post by rusethorcain


Did you suffer bullying at school ?

If you didn't, you must be the exception

Bullying comes in a variety of guises, some subtle, some overt

Dogs bully. Cats bully. Birds bully

Another name for the victim of bullying, is 'scapegoat'

Most classes have a scapegoat or two, although the victims aren't called scapegoats. Instead, they're referred to as 'the disruptive' or 'noisy', or 'difficult' ones

And they're bullied by teachers and classmates alike. It's universal

Small towns have their scapegoats/bullied victims. They're referred to as 'those people' and 'that family', etc. They receive different treatment from storekeepers, neighbours, police, etc. ... 'lesser' treatment

Entire suburbs are bullied. Entire populations are bullied

Politicians are bullied. Bullying is entrenched. People are 'sent to Coventry'. Ostracised. Ridiculed

Religious denominations are bullied

Overweight people are bullied. In fact, that's the current trend

Smokers are bullied

Short men and tall women are bullied

People will a lower IQ are bullied

People who drive Rolls Royces are bullied as are Mercedes and Volvo drivers, motor-scooter owners, people who own poodles, people with red hair, people with a mono-brow, people with big feet and big noses, etc.

And kids are bullied at school

I was bullied at school at every grade level from grade 1 on up to grade 12, if you let the bullies bully you'll eventually turn into yourself. I got suspended every year for fighting but I did not worry about the bullies until the next year. Teach these kids how to stand up for themselves.

It’s heart rending to see a child being taken of his/her own life. Worse is the naïve young child taking his own life.

Childhood should be a time of innocence and fun, and be protected by adults – parents and teachers, not only for their own kids, but for others kid as well.

Phoebe’s death is our failure – our society’s failure. We had failed to take such issues seriously, discuss and find rational solutions to it. It doesn’t matter if we adults had been bullied before, or bullying is common place.

What matters is how we must end bullying, especially on innocent children. One way is to show care and concern for all kids, and be alert for signs of bullying. Understand what is going on in their lives, and then think of creative ways to end the discrimination, which is often the root of bullying.

I feel so helpless…May Ms Phoebe Prince rest in peace.

We can no longer help her, but there are many more children that are being bullied today and tomorrow, and it is them we must spare no less effort. It begins with us.

Originally posted by SeekerofTruth101
It’s heart rending to see a child being taken of his/her own life. Worse is the naïve young child taking his own life.

Childhood should be a time of innocence and fun, and be protected by adults – parents and teachers, not only for their own kids, but for others kid as well.

Phoebe’s death is our failure – our society’s failure. We had failed to take such issues seriously, discuss and find rational solutions to it. It doesn’t matter if we adults had been bullied before, or bullying is common place.

What matters is how we must end bullying, especially on innocent children. One way is to show care and concern for all kids, and be alert for signs of bullying. Understand what is going on in their lives, and then think of creative ways to end the discrimination, which is often the root of bullying.

I feel so helpless…May Ms Phoebe Prince rest in peace.

We can no longer help her, but there are many more children that are being bullied today and tomorrow, and it is them we must spare no less effort. It begins with us.

Unfortunately, despite there being many 'shoulds' and 'should nots' in life -- they're very difficult to put into practice

Everyone is bullied in some form or other and the problems is immense and ongoing, therefore nigh impossible to curtail

As we cannot control the hundreds of different areas of bullying, we need to teach people how to respond to it

I was bullied and decades later can remember those events with painful clarity. I didn't see it coming. Obviously wasn't quick on my feet (emotionally) so was crushed, shattered. My face is an open book as a rule and moreso then. Result --- the bullies derived satisfaction, which marked me as an easy target and doubtless resulted in their doing it again and again

It would have been nice if there had been someone around to educate me and help me ... to teach me how to cope and deflect the bullying

I'm still not sure what the answer is. People say, 'Oh, ignore them and they'll go away', but my experience hasn't shown that to be true

It's also advised that you shouldn't retaliate, or that will result in further bulling. But I don't think that's true, either

It's said that it's not what happens to us which matters, but how we deal with it, respond to it

My way (result of trial and error) was to face up to the bully gang. I had to step out of character to do it. Can't say it was all that sucessful, but it seemed to render the bullies a bit less confident. And their diminishing confidence gave me a bit of confidence. So, it's a pattern I've continued, because it feels better than simply allowing people to walk all over me

Whether or not I was right to take that approch, who knows. But as it's all I know, I'd probably advise a bullied child to try it. All it requires is to stop caring what others think of you and to reverse the situation so that what you think of them, is what is really important ... to you

We won't stop bullying behaviours. There are too many. And most people demonstrate bullying behaviours at various times. Mothers bully their children. They don't regard themselves as bullies, but to their children, they appear as bullies

Bosses bully their employees. They might not believe they're bullying, but from the employees' perspective, it's bullying alright

Governments bully their people. They don't regard it as bullying, but from the people's perspective, it sure feels as if bullying is going on

And so forth

We can't stop the tide, but we can learn how to read the tide and work with it, handle it

Bullying is something we'll all experience. Most of us already have experience of it. We have to teach our survival techniques to our children. And most of us do that already in one form or another. Unfortunately, every now and then, some children and adults slip through the net or retreat and refuse to tell anyone about what's happening to them

We teach road-safety to our children too, but unfortunately some still fall victim to accidents which often could have been avoided. It's not a perfect world

reply to post by Dock9


This is like saying my parents beat me so this is why I beat, slap punish or humiliate my kids. It's cool. Everybody does it.


And no...animals don't train their young this way. Never.

Animals either play nurture or kill.
There is not taunting unless a kill is going to follow.
Remember that.

reply to post by Dock9


So what is up with this defending the bully position you are in here?

Got a history? Tell us.

I was about to add yes, it happens but it doesn't make it any the less reprehensible.

Catholic Priest's had always molested kids. There was absolutely nothing that could be done about it probably because someone defended the actions or belittled the effects as you are trying here. It was finally put on a back burner or accepted as something that could not be changed.

Eventuality saner minds prevailed.
Fighting against ingrained habits dug in tooth and claw.... with modern notions of fairness, pen and law.

[edit on 30-3-2010 by rusethorcain]

I think since parents send their children to school for a large part of the day and parents are obligated to provide an education for their children and they pay school taxes to operate the school, all 10 parents should be able to sue the school for neglect.

This sets a precedent and places the burden in the schools lap where the bullying took place.

If they need a monitor on every hall intersection, metal detectors an hidden cameras...what ever it takes to keep all the children safe is a minimum reasonable expectation. From parents.

Those 9 children who were (clearly not taught in an inclusive environment) allowed to ratchet up the bullying of this child until she took her own life, will be affected just as negatively in the long run.

Where is the example teachers are supposed to show these 9 youngsters?
We do ourselves no favors not teaching mediation and conflict resolution in schools.

Just look at our own town hall meetings for an example.
What can we teach kids about bullying except how to do it better? And there are many willing to go that route. Too bad.

This is very sad but.................I thought this was the Aliens and UFOs forum.
Has this got anything to do with the subject of this forum ?

I think bullying is a natural part of life. Sad to see yet another person kill themself over it. But most of us either learned to deal with it, or stuck up for ourselves.

I got in quite a few fights as a child. It only stopped because by the time I was in highschool, people were too afraid of getting hurt. Instead they backed down and barked a lot but had no bite.

Originally posted by gortex
This is very sad but.................I thought this was the Aliens and UFOs forum.
Has this got anything to do with the subject of this forum ?

`

Those evil bullies were more than likely Reptilians.

Undercover police officers can and do pose as high school students.

I mention that for conspiracy theorists.

I personally think this story is 100% legit, this girl was bullied so badly by some asshole mother#ers that she killed herself. She likely had problems that were unnoticed and unaddressed besides the bullying, I never believe that a story like this is straightforward and a "one cause" issue.

If she was just being bullied she could escape that situation.

You cannot discount the fact that life is vastly different now then when many of us were kids.

We didn't have Cell phones, or Facebook or Myspace or Twitter, lets not forget emails also.

I personally think she couldn't escape the situation. Its not like old school tauntings and such. This was a full frontal attack.

Maybe us older than 25 remember bullying like it was. And maybe that is why many are wondering "wow bullying caused her to do what?" We simply cannot identify with bullying in the 21st Century.

Think about it, every time you pick up your phone, every time you log onto your email or your social network. Every time you go to school. Could you (collective bunch) live like that as a grown up? Would you be able to live under that type of pressure? I am not saying everyone who is bullied will take their own life, what I am saying is, this really ups the ante.

I am guessing a few of these posters (those who are making light of this or saying oh well it's a part of youth) were bullied or bullied themselves because most people are horrified this even happens...unless you are an abuser or an abusee.

I have a thread coming about how spanking kids actually leads to this type of chilling brutality...and much worse behavior.

Sociopaths start by getting their first slap. Soon they are doing the slapping.

If someone who loves you can humiliate you, whats a little humiliation among friends?

Kids get over it ...kids forgive and forget and survive everything but, you are hard wiring brutality into your child when you strike them.
Smokers who started before 14 have a much harder time quitting because their brains are hard wired to smoke.
Imagine how hardwired it will be by hitting, yelling getting and emotionally overwhelmed with a child of 2 or 3 years old for their innocent unintended mistake in learning.

Only humans do this. ANIMALS DO NOT HIT OR HUMILIATE THEIR YOUNG. THEY REPEAT, AND REPEAT AS OFTEN AS NEEDED TO TEACH.

Because of the size difference adult over child, when you hit them or force a punishment, domination will be a subconscious desire all their lives. (For some it is very conscious and evident)
When they are not dominant it will be instinct to strike another physically, to verbally abuse them, and attempt to embarrass them even if they love the other person.
We see these people everywhere.

After seeing another story tonight, about a boy tortured by classmates, head in toilet etc I wonder why...

Why can't students be charged with assault?

When kids are guilty of killing they are charged as adults.
Some of this is almost killing and some is killing.











[edit on 1-4-2010 by rusethorcain]

My bullying started when i came to this country.

Kids here have that habit, they start as soon as they start going to school, and on to grow up to become insatiable blood-thirsty animals when they get a job. They will black mail you if they have to, do harm behind your back, bad mouth you and those are your friends. If they really dont like you, look out!!!!

The time has come NOW to gather all the little innocents and drill into their heads that such behavior cannot be tolerated under any condition.

This has gotten way out of hand. Its also the parents influences at work too. Dissatisfied malcontents who come home from work spewing crap about people at work and plotting someones' demise.

This society is sickening, but its been coming to a head for generations.



[and before somebody chews me out, yes, i know its more prevalent here in the USA than in other countries]
I'll even tell you that latins are more likely to steal (I can say it because i am Latin), cheat and they know all the ins and outs of handouts, BUT, they hardly ever betray their own kind. Beginning in school...once they come here that's a different story.

[edit on 1-4-2010 by dgtempe]

reply to post by rusethorcain



Lets see 20 years ago bullies existed and they still exist now what has changed? It is the new age politically correct progressive mindset that has changed. It is making our kids weak of mind,body and soul. That is why it seem so extreme now it because we view everything as a huge issue and worry about everything.



A poor girl died because of bullies. No a poor girl died because sometimes that happens and it could be a million reasons but the reality is it is really only important on a micro level not a macro



We take all issues and blow them up as big as we can so we have something to do instead of living our pathetic lives. And I will be viewed as harsh and not having empathy for saying this but the truth is by making this a huge issue it only makes the problem worse.

Originally posted by sremmos
Undercover police officers can and do pose as high school students.

I mention that for conspiracy theorists.

I personally think this story is 100% legit, this girl was bullied so badly by some asshole mother#ers that she killed herself. She likely had problems that were unnoticed and unaddressed besides the bullying, I never believe that a story like this is straightforward and a "one cause" issue.

If she was just being bullied she could escape that situation.

Phoebe Prince was 15, had recently moved here from Ireland.
She was a very pretty girl, and a couple of seniors flirted with her, and she dated one in particular. The ex of this guy was one of the "popular" group, and decided to teach Phoebe a lesson.

She got her group of friends together with the guy and began harassing Phoebe at school, after school, on Facebook, on her cell phone.

Teachers were informed, administration knew, Phoebe's parents went to the school to try to straighten it all out, and no one did anything.

The bullying was physical as well as verbal, and was literally non stop for months and months. They humiliated her, assaulted her, made her life hell. For a long time.

On the day she took her life, she was followed home from a day of torture in school, and the mean girls threw a can of some drink at her head from their car. Phoebe went in her house and hanged herself.

The mean girls claimed innocence. The media became involved, and one day interviewed a student. As soon as the reporter left, one of the mean girls punched the interviewee in the head and pushed them against a locker.


A memorial was set up for Phoebe on Facebook. The bullies continued their slurs, humiliation, and lying about Phoebe their too, until the memorial was taken down. Their parents insisted it couldn't possibly be THEIR children! Their perfect angels!

Even today, none of this group has shown any remorse, or even respect to a girl they hounded to death.


Bullying is one thing. What these animals did went far and beyond any bullying that comes to mind.

Now Mass is passing legislation to curb bullying in schools, which, IMO, is useless. But hey, they gotta cover their asses I guess. A few weeks before this, an 11 year old in Springfield (about 30 minutes from South Hadley) committed suicide because he was being bullied, and no one would help.

An 11 year old.


I happen to live between these two cities. I have a 9 year old, who sometimes goes to the school playground around the corner from us. Last week, two teens were there who took his scooter, spit on him, then flicked a lighter and threatened to burn him to death.

The bullying I went through in school was traumatizing. But it never was this vicious.

So I agree, bullying is a rite of passage. But what is happening in schools today is not the bullying we grew up with.



ETA: 9 teens in the Phoebe Prince case have been charged with various things, but not murder. Which I consider this to be. Aggravated assault, rape, violation of civil rights, and a few others I cannot remember. I hope they rot in prison. I'm sure they won't mind a bit of bullying there.

[edit on 1-4-2010 by cjcord]

reply to post by rusethorcain


Everyone get's bullied, or at least almost everyone... however I don't think they should get blamed if the person they are bullying commits suicide. Suicide is the decision of the person committing it.

Don't kids learn the old saying? Sticks and stones but words can never hurt? That saying alone makes bullying easy to live through. I spent years being ridiculed and I learned early the best way to deal with it is to learn to laugh at yourself.

I cannot understand, for the life of me, how someone could be depressed enough to end their life over a little highschool bullying unless the bullying was getting the snot pounded out of them every single day or unless her parents were in on the bullying.

I don't want to sound insensitive but I am, honestly you either have to have a preexisting mental illness or be completely stupid to kill yourself over bullying...

in the halls, library and in vicious mobile phone text messages.

So move away, don't answer your phone or text messages, seek the help of teachers, get a therapist, become homeschooled, get transferred to a different school, seek the help of school guidance or your parent, seek the help of other people getting bullied to get even, talk to the principal, the police, anyone. There are hundreds (if not thousands) of options better than suicide and even if they don't work the first time you can retry the options a thousand times, ending your life is only going to leave you DEAD.

Especially in modern days. Its not the middle ages. We have great technology, a myriad of different types of escapist entertainment, cutting edge psychiatric treatments. We're not toiling in the fields constantly or watching relatives drop dead from the black plague. We're not living in one room houses without electricity (in most places), the life of the average poor person today is better than the life of a rich guy two hundred years ago and someone is gonna kill themselves OVER HIGH SCHOOL BULLYING?

Honestly I know I'm being a horrible insensitive jerk but... come on, killing yourself over bullying?

[edit on 1-4-2010 by Titen-Sxull]

reply to post by Titen-Sxull



You are speaking as an adult. The brain works very differently at 15. At 15, being harassed like this IS being beaten every day. You are forgetting in this case, rape and assault was happening along with degradation.

Asking for help did not work.

You're not being a jerk, you just don't seem to understand how this type of behavior affects teens. No one has to be mentally ill to feel trapped and hopeless. All that is required for a suicide to occur is feeling as if there is no other option. Phoebe felt she had no escape.

Again, I stress this was not simple name calling. This was criminal behavior, and that is why these kids are facing criminal charges.

My opinion on this is that bullying is part of growing up and mild hazing and bullying teaches kids to be stronger and fight back and stand up. The serious bullying that gets out of hand like this girls case is extreme and should have been stopped. Anyone witnessing this should have intervened.
I intervened on my sons behalf when he was being bullyed by this one kid and i put a stop to it but only after it started getting out of hand. I let my son try and handle it himself. I dont teach himi to fight to solve his issues but at the same time i made him realize that sometimes you have to fight and have to strike back to make them stop. Bullys target easy prey. If you make yourself a victim you will most certainly be one. I told him to stand up and fight back but only so far as was needed. If you have to throw a punch then do so but only as is needed. If you get your point across that you arent to be messed with and he walks on the let him. Dont turn into the bully. If you knock him down then offer a hand infriendship to help him back up. Let him know your doing this because he gave you no choice but no your offering him another way than this way. It was my solution to the situation and it worked for the time being. It helped to teach my son to be able to rely on his self to solve problems and that fighting although isnt the best way to solve a problem sometimes is the only way if the person leaves you no choice. He knows now that he can offer his hand in friendship but can throw a punch at the same time if he has to for self preservation.

It the case of one kid being ganged up on by so many then something should have been done by someone. Its like every adult who witnessed this allowed this girl to swim with sharks and try and survive it. How was she going to? Its sad. very sad that a life is gone from this planet that could have meant so much to the rest of us. Whatever she could have contributed to this world she cannot now and we are all lesser for it.