posted on Jan, 1 2008 @ 01:18 PM
reply to post by ValhallasValkyrie
No, marriage certainly does not equate to security. I've seen a lot of couples "retire" after they get married. All that effort, time, money and
emotional committment expended before the marriage when they were each trying to impress the other with their worthiness magically disappears after
marriage when their catch is "safe".
If the woman looked like a bombshell before marriage, eating only salads when they went out to dinner she may start gorging after marriage, not caring
if she bloats up bigger than Rhode Island. If the man did little niceties like bringing flowers, etc. he may spend time watching ESPN instead after
they get married. They both "retire" from the "let me wow you with how wonderful I am" game. Sad really since they both probably are
wonderful-just lazy.
I am of the opinion that impressing your mate does not end after you "catch" them but making them glad they caught you. Continue to show yourself
worthy of the wonderful person you picked to spend and build your life with. Increase your value to them. Not to say that you spend all your time
"trying out" for their affection but that you spend your time being worthy of it. And your partner should, of course, recognize and value your
worth as well.
When your partner views you as disposable (any port in a storm/all cats are grey in the dark, etc.) then you chose poorly. [I'm speaking about
myself here] I think that men in my generation were raised to believe that women were not really valuable, just fun accessories. If the one you've
got wears out in your service, breaks down, needs a minor repair or whatever then just replace IT.
Statistics show that married men live longer than single men but married women do not live longer than single women. (Women, in general, live longer
than men generally do). So, which partner really benefits from marriage? At least in regards to longevity, men do.