Whitewave and others,
Spoiling myseslf here at a late breakfast. The extra sleep was much needed. Having coffee with real Amaretto in it. Wonderful.
I was not refering to keeping a talley sheet per se on what Doc Strangecraft was saying. One naturally by process becomes aware of what they do or
dont do in a marriage. Many will deny it or promote it at times but they are aware. I was stating that the popular belief today of expecting to get
more out of it than one puts into it is nonsense.
I am saying people should marry for certain things within that marriage. Reasonable sensible things..not fantasy or unreality. Not something they read
in a magazine advertisement. Frivolous stuff.
Oh..I forgot to put in here on the first sentance that I disagree with you!
However...I do agree with you that men and women have different expectations of what they want in and from the marriage/union. This is not
unreasonable. My question is are most expectations just a default and or based in reality..not fantasy.
OH...by the way..I see this word used alot but never precisely understood the meaning or intent behind it. You used the word " Co-dependent." Can
you eleborate on this for me as to what constitutes co-dependent.
I too see alot of women desparate for a man, particularly after a number of failed marriages/relationships and the sense that it is getting close to
midnight and it might be pumkin time. A man is often, to these types of women, a nice convenience or option. Especially a malliable trainable one.
When I sense this type of thing I look quietly, discreetly, and patiently for the fingerprint.
Chutso_Ha,
You have me chuckling with your post. I agree..with you that most men dont emote like women. I have, however, noticed that there are more and more
men who do in fact emote like women. The common denominator is that they were raised primarily by women have womens values and thinking patterns. When
one gets in especially tough or dangerous jobs you have to watch them carefully ..they will often lock up like a deer in the headllights or not pay
attention. This can get one hurt or killed. Best in many cases never to take them on these kinds of jobs. Tell the boss that you dont want them with
you..period. Thats just the way it is in my occupation. We dont candy coat it. Carry the load or carry ones A.. on down the road!!
I do however..just like with Whitewave ..disagree with you on this statement...
See, men don't emote like we women do, so we need little proofs instead.
Men need to be intelligent enough to know little proofs from women too. The sad truth that I know is that with so many men, their expectations of
women are so low that they must often struggle and try out like idiots to get even these low expectations met. In the process they often overlook real
value in a woman. This is ..really stupid of them. So many men are not that intelligent/analyzing in this arena. Too much Hooters and ESPN.
Also the reason most men dont emote like women is that such emotions are not conducive to accomplishing the tasks with which men are often burdened.
IF women want men to emote like them they need to unburden men of these types of tasks. This would require commitment from women.
Not the appearence of commitment.
However..I dont think women want the competition from men in the emotions department. Nor do women desire to unburden men of thier traditional tasks
so that men can be more emotional as are so many women. By social constructs women dont want the competition from other women for emotions...much less
from men.
YOu see..Chutso_ha..I know that most women dont want a sensitive emotional man ....they want a man who is sensitive and emotional twords them. A
huge difference.
Because men don't want to. If men wanted to, we wouldn't want it anymore.
LOL LOL LOL. There is some odd and strange truth to this statement you made...even in humor. I have often stated that women are very much
competitive..just not in the way or manner that are most men...but competitive none the less...very much so. I also dont think that most men are even
aware of this concept.
Wait a minute...I almost missed this part of your post..
Why? Well, aside from the economic side of things, that's easy
I thought women were doing everything that men are doing and doing a better job of it in times of "equality."
This should not even be a factor. Am I out of date here or way ahead of the curve?? In times of equality women should be taking just as much risk and
liability for the goods/ecomomics as are men. Tell me you are kidding here?? If they are doing a better job of it they should be doing more ...right??
Please tell me your economic statement is not a default??
Speaker of truth,
In a world where 60% of the population who is thirty and younger claim to never want to marry is this even a question?
Yes it is a question. The reason it is in fact a question is that there is one constant in dealing with women and the effeminate. The ability to
change ones mind. This is especially true in dealing with women. Just try to hold a woman to a line..especially a very emotional woman. Now a days
this applies to emotional men as well.
Just try to make a disparaging remark among women about the marriage ceremony or ritual. Even among women who dont want to get married. There is
something "Holy or "Sacred" about the ceremony ...not necessarily the man to whom they are married. This should be obvious by the statistics. All
women ..no..but it is a obvious trend.
Go pick up a copy of Brides magazine from the stands. It is one of the thickest magazines on the stands. At one time it was the thickest. Read it
..see the check off lists etc. Even among women who make no plans to marry ...they read them.
Marriage day...is their power day. The single day in which so many women believe they gain access to dreams , fantasys , expectations and what they
often believe they deserve..in one day. YOu dont see this trend among many men.
Thanks to all for thier posts,
Orangetom