So...Why do women want marriage?

First, any women here on BTS care to answer why you think you want to be married? Why do women seek marriage? Religious reasons? Family tradition? Economic reasons? To have constant sex? I'm pretty sure I know the exact reason why every woman on Earth might want to be married. Women, please tell me your thoughts.

Edit = I guess I should ask the guys input as well. Guys?


[edit on 12-5-2007 by souls]

Males have a nearly infinite stock of sperm cells and do not go through the difficulties of pregnacy and child rearing. Therefore they can reproduce very often and have lots of offspring, their genetic descendance is assured.

Females, have a limited number of eggs, which only one or two are available only a certain period at a time. If she becomes pregnant she will have to bear it for 9 months (she needs a higher daily intake of food/energy), then she must rear the infant until it can survive on it's own.
That's why it's important for the female to choose the best male available and one that will help raise the young too. All are advantages to the female.

This scenario is true for many animal species and I think the basic instincts are still there in humans that's why most men want to be free and have sex left and right and why women want to settle down and have children..:bnghd:

Speaking as a woman.. Marriage offers some security that just regular relationships don't. Any guy likes to be able to walk away whenever he wants, to move on to the better and greener pastures... but it's rare to find a guy who thinks you are above all else, and wants to be with you and only you for the rest of his life.

Some women just like the white wedding and all that goes with it.. and after that and the honeymoon are over.. want out. sde

Of course.. there are guys out there who have selfish reasons for wanting a commitment.. life long sex, or... to use a girl.

And not all women want marriage, just the young or inexperienced or both.

I never wanted the white dress or planned my marriage as a little girl or anything. I have always been fairly independent so I never wanted to marry for security or for a man to do something for me.
I married mainly for companionship as well as for change. I didn't like where I was, felt there had to be more to life, met a great man and here I am giving him my all.

The constant sex thing is a wonderful bonus of course
Although I am still unsure about becoming a mother, my view on the world is still quite a jaded one sadly. Trying to work on me before I take that step that to me is a bigger step than marriage.


Why do you think women want to marry ? curious minds want to know

Women have selfish reasons for committment just as much as men

Well me, I'm a guy, I like where I'm at: Free, happy and feeling good! I never had never will marry, have kids or any relationships. But, I love sex a lot, its one of the best things in life for me, and I'm enjoying how my life is going, no doubts or regretts....keep in mind though, that I treat women with care and respect and am very nice to them, but if they say words like "love", "committment", relationship", "kids", "care", or anything else, they won't see me again.

There are two kinds of women I'm with: friends, with whome I don't get it on, and we are homies, and ones with whome I have sex with, and with the latter, there will be nothing except sex.

peace

Personally, I would like to see myself married in maybe 5 - 10 years time (I'm 19 in 16 days) because I want somebody to share life with. But for now, I'm all for having a good time while I'm young.



[edit on 16-5-2007 by xeroxed88]

I have no desire to be married. I raised my daughter all on my own when her father took off. I don't need a man to support me. I have great male friends who I absolutely adore but that's all they are. Actually a great friend is of far more value then a lover.

so i can makeout whenever i want to. hahaha nah i dontknow i mean not all ladies want to be married. im whatevs . i would like to find a nice guy and be in love and have kids we dont have to have that piece of paper. as long as we BOTH know where we stand in the relationship.. my aunt and uncle just barely got married after 20 something years of living together and basically acting husband and wifeish they just never felt the need to be labled as offically married they knew how they felt about eachother and that is all that matters!

A woman who can take care of herself and children is a woman who is free to come to a man for love only. This is the thing for which so many women claim is missing from their relationships. This freedom and "Option" born from being able to take care of themselves also makes many women today just like a man. Free also to go for sex when they so desire..or not to if they also so desire.

However ..this has not really worked out well for many women because of the female social value they place on their sexuality to cash in on the options of others. I dont think all the evolution in the world is going to groom this social belief or religion out of some women. This "evolution" has also kept many men ignorant of this facet of female socialization...including why women decide to marry.
The key is looking at the different facets of female socialization...ie female value systems verses male value systems.

By the way..for many of you guys..women want sex just as much if not more than most men are even aware. They just have very different conditions than do most men. I am not sure most men understand this for what it actually means ...socially.

Russian Soldier...you are very young. Nothing wrong with that..most certainly. The problem I can see that you are going to run up against and for which all your bravado and tostesterone has not prepared you...is a woman who can see you ..inside...naked....for what you really are..what you can do .. ..and what you lack. A woman who can and will call you on this...not sit goo goo eyed while you flex your tostesterone.
This kind and caliber of women is very rare...also valuable. Dont let what you think is proper male chest thumping...cause you to miss out on this opportunity. YOu will know this because all your usual male practices will not work on her. When it finally dawns on you ..if ever...what it is with which you are dealing.....it will be your choice to ante up or walk.
This is the kind of woman who can make you a better man...whether you know it or not. As I said..they are quite rare and valuable in this world. This is a woman....not a girl. Hope you understand this concept because when it happens you will have hit the brick wall and most likely you will not be prepared. There are lots of girls out here..of all ages...not that many women.
It has happened to many a man out here...though few will admit to it. There are men out here who can be some kind of dumb.
Remember this Russian Soldier. Till then have fun out there. Bon Appetit.

Thanks to all for their posts,
Orangetom

[edit on 5-6-2007 by orangetom1999]

I turned to my girlfriend and asked her lol... here is her answer:

A binding commitment... you have promised your life to them.

Yikes...

why do women want marriage?

well I used to think it was the moral thing to do, I guess, now it doesn't matter

I been thinking more about this it gives them a sense of security, this is the last step in a commited relationship, he married me that means if he would go that far and take this final step, he really loves me.

then you get divorced. lol

I married because I wanted to build a life with one person, have a continuity of memories and shared experiences and goals; a partner to share life's ups and downs, etc. Unfortunately, my husband wanted something entirely different.
I may be speaking from a jaded, cynical and bitter viewpoint, but I believe men marry because they're lazy. Get a wife to do your cooking, cleaning, yard work, put her to work outside the home as well so you can afford that boat, etc. Marriage, in my experience and observation, is an advantage for the man but not for the woman. Having been married, I can't see why any woman would ever want to get married. I can support myself financially, have raised my children by myself, can fix my own car (except that computer stuff), do my own plumbing repairs, defend myself in a dark alley.
If there's no mutuality and respect then marriage is just an institution of the damned.
To the OP, you hinted at your opinions on why you think women want to get married but, if you posted those views, I missed them. Do share.

whitewave you may have a point there, but I hope some people marry because they are in love lust, whatever, lol

I am verry happily married he works hard and yes I do the house work shopping, cooking, laundry,,daycare, nurse, sex slave, ha ha, the list goes on

Personally I see two real reasons for marriage.

1. The bonding and commitment thing.
2,. The legal part, if your loved one is in the hospital, being married allows you to visit them,
as well as things like inheritance and other legality issues. I don't think most women
want to have to deal with the legal issues in relationships, that would arise if something happened.



As for me, well I'm not a woman, and marriage is not something that's really important
to me, and I could'nt even if I wanted to (since the country is so backwards),
but if I met someone whom I really cared about, and they wanted to be married, I'd do it,
even if it most likely would'nt be recognized here.

Originally posted by whitewave

I may be speaking from a jaded, cynical and bitter viewpoint, but I believe men marry because they're lazy. Get a wife to do your cooking, cleaning, yard work, put her to work outside the home as well so you can afford that boat, etc. Marriage, in my experience and observation, is an advantage for the man but not for the woman. Having been married, I can't see why any woman would ever want to get married. I can support myself financially, have raised my children by myself, can fix my own car (except that computer stuff), do my own plumbing repairs, defend myself in a dark alley.
If there's no mutuality and respect then marriage is just an institution of the damned.

Good Lord Whitewave,

You are jaded...no doubt!! Please send picture of your boat for me to check out!! Get your cutting board and knives ready. Im bringing over fish tonight for you to clean and cook!! Ranch dressing and bacos with my tossed salad please. Can you do home fries?? Iced tea...lots of ice!!

Must be something wrong with me. I keep running into high maintenance women. You seem wont to run into high maintenance men.

I do however like the company of women much better than what passes for male socialization. Lord.. I can't stand a bunch of loudmouthed drunken men who can talk about nothing but phat women and sports. Drunken women too now that I think about it.

I do appreciate one thing about most women...they have much better decorating skills than do I. But I dont have to marry a woman to take advantage of these femminine skills. (rubs hands together diabolically and greedly)

I dont find it such a advantage for me long term considering the calibers of women so prevalent out here.
As I stated in other posts...they keep looking at my place and what they can get for themselves and their children..not what I need from them. Options for them and the kids. Same with my other friend across the river and his home. (though he seems to have finally found a decent woman this time ... I am happy for him..will this be his fifth?? The marrying man!!??)
Options from me as a career opportunity. What options will I be getting since I can cook, clean, fix my cars and truck, mopeds,(except that computer stuff) do yard work, etc etc.?? What options does she bring me such that if she dies first they are protected for me from the grave??

Its not that great for most men either. I submit to you that there are some dumb men out here too.

Women will marry for certain " options" which fit into their profile or belief systems of female socialization. If it doesnt fit...they wont marry.

In otherword.. "options" within the fabric of female social expectations/beliefs.

Sad thing is that so many ,by the posts on here, delude themselves with social expectations and beliefs "options" which are not that grounded in reality. More fantasy than reality. I mean males and females both.

Reality as you can attest can be rough!! Sometimes solitude and Peace from this roughness is a blessing.
Finding a partner who understands this long term as a career, with or without children, can be diffucult. They seem to be quite rare.

Thanks,
Orangetom

Originally posted by orangetom1999

By the way..for many of you guys..women want sex just as much if not more than most men are even aware. They just have very different conditions than do most men. I am not sure most men understand this for what it actually means ...socially.

I have noticed that the only women I know who has sexual drives that compete with men are women who suffer from bi-polar and even then it was only in their mania phase, during their depressive phase, sex dwindled to probably lower than a 'regular' woman.

You mention in a post further down that you seem to run into high maintenance women, its possible you are attracted to these types of women. Perhaps if you did some reading of bi-polar or talked to people who suffer from it, you may clear what ever it is that attracts you to them.

oragnetom, you disliked it when whitewave made generalisations about men yet you do the same about men (dumb) and women (sexual predators). Maybe you should travel the world a bit, get a better picture of men and women in other cultures.

oragetom, your song has been the same for the last 2 years (rough estimate of your ATS membership!), where is the learning!?

this girl keeps saying she is gonna kill her self if i dont marry her, but i haven't even had a taste of whats good yet.

Dae,

Thank you for your post. Very intrestinig premise you seem to have in your post. I am curious as to why myself or any woman would be intrested in a sex drive in competition with someone else.

Also you need to understand that I dont consider defining ones self by their sexuality ..intelligent behavior or value system. Also you need to understand that to the uninformed...this dumbness passes for correct (PC)today among many. It is quite marketable too.

Also as to bipolar..I am not intrested in this phenomonon in women. It is just another avenue to high maintenance.

As to the high maintenance types..yes this is the type I have mostly run into..some variation of this ..yes. I am not intrested per se in the bipolar aspect of this. I am intrested in the maintenance aspect. Like many women I am not intrested in the details per se....just the results. Is thier something wrong with this???

For some reason the high maintenance types seem to be attracted to people with goods and services or a surplus of this potential. Why is that Dae?? That is what intrests me...cause and effect so so speak. I am not intrested in this type ...it is just a pheonmonon which often happens when dealing with wildlife.

As to my post to Whitewave...she is one of the women I respect on this forum. When she posts it is clear and to the point positions. Not always positions with which I agree but I note for lack of histronics and emotions. Very mature diciplined posts. On occasion I Like to poke her in the ribs with that kind of comment about a boat and fishing et al.

I surmise by the manner in which Whitewave posts that she is a woman of maturity and ability..the "P" word ..Potential. Not histronics/Drama. This is a tell tale indicator that she has or has had a position of responsibilty where she cannot always work or occupy to her emotions or emotional satisfaction as do so many women and today so many men too....but instead requires some dicipline. I can respect this in a woman. A man too for that matter.
Real dicipline is quite rare today.

In otherwords she does not strike me as a drama queen. My summation is that she can give as good as she will take for the right man. And it would take a man too!! Not a high maintenance drama queen..and yes there are high maintenance male drama queens out here. Lots of them. If I was in her neck of the country I would be running her down till she dropped!! On my moped of course!!!

I am not saying here that she does not have emotions..not at all. I am saying she has admirable dicipline with her emotions. Something quite rare in todays high speed fast food lane of life.

As to my song being the same for the last two years..I have had numereous opportunity to have it confirmed on ATS/BTS. I will confirm it again here in a few minutes.
Two years ..am I on a time clock here ..a defaut schedule??
Learning never quits. We will be learning the rest of our lives. Learning is part of life..not just between sound bites.

Also I have traveled around the world..its an ok place to visit. However I reside here ...stateside..and have affairs/interaction mostly stateside with stateside peoples....not people over there.

Now ..on the subject or topic of dumb...ok..watch this from the post after your last on this board.

DominionOfGozer

posted on 25-7-2007 at 10:26 PM
this girl keeps saying she is gonna kill her self if i dont marry her, but i haven't even had a taste of whats good yet.

Here is a guy who has a high maintenance woman for whom he needs to dump..or just keep her around for idle times. Tell her to fish or cut bait.

A woman who threatens to kill herself if he doesnt marry her is most likely a woman with insecuritys for whom or what she will not handle or integrate herself into the solutions on her own merits or demerits. In otherwords ..insecure in hereself. Hence ..high maintenance. Her tack is to get him in a position by marriage to handle or support her insecuritys. Is the clock getting ready to strike midnight Cinderella???

My summation is that she ..this woman hasnt a clue as to what it really is for which she is offering this guy of any real intrinsic value for marriage..not a clue.

Whats worse and dumb..is that this guy thinks the summation of ther marriage potential is " a taste of what is good yet." Talk about dumbness..on both sides of this scenerio.

This person is as misguided as the woman he is describing. As if having a taste is going to make up for her high maintenance baggage she will bring to a marriage!!

Now..Dae...am I wrong or insensitive for pointoing out this dumbness?? Do I need to put ointment on this scenerio to ease the sensibilitys of others. Or do we have a case of institutional dumbness going on here on both parts?

Do I need to take a lie detector test on this one..or a DNA paternity test.??

Now Dae, With this in mind..what was your point about generalizations and dumbness?? Learning???

It is all around us Dae..it passes for "Feelings" and correctness...daily.

I am not intrested in this for myself though it assaults us daily. Stick around ..there will be another one. They are stamped out like on a xerox machine!!

WHen I see and speak to folks like Whitewave it give me hope for mankind.


Thanks for your post,
Orangetom