Old People Candy

Well now that I'm a bitter nasty old man let's talk about bitter, nasty, old candies!

Old people candy: candy that either isn't around anymore, or isn't anyone's first choice. It's legendary candy you have to dig for on the bottom of the shelf. You know the kind I'm talking about, the kind that only old people give out at Halloween, the kind that you might see around Christmas, but old people still manage to have a year-round supply of. It's candy no one likes!..including old people!



If you've seen Necco Wafers, odds are you've probably never been brave enough to try it. If you have tried it, you've probably never wanted to try it again. If you do enjoy it, you'd be just as happy chewing on some Alka-Seltzer tablets or blackboard chalk.



My grandfather's favorite candy was the jelly bean. It goes without saying he refused to try Jelly Belly's. Why? Because that's not an old people candy. He'd buy them by the 55 gallon drum for pocket change. That's okay I guess, but they were all pretty bland and tasteless...except for one...the licorice bean blecch!



One of my mom's favorite candies was the rootbeer barrel. I haven't seen 'em in a while, but they appear to still exist. If you've ever wanted the taste of a dry, non-liquid rootbeer, then this is the candy for you.



Now when I was a kid, and not just a furry manchild, I used to love wax coke bottles! I don't see them anymore whenever I shop around, but I believe they are still made. Oddly, I enjoyed the flavor and texture of the wax just as much as the sugar water inside. I do not enjoy the gummy Coca-Cola bottles however. They are even worse than the rootbeer barrels.



So what got me thinking about candy today was a nice, fresh pack of candy cigarettes I found. These are not typical to find in stores anymore for easy to guess reasons. They are not thrilling as a candy. They are chalky and bland like the Necco Wafers, but you can take cool selfies with them at least. The impressive labels almost make them look like the real deal!



Whether you're young or old...you just have to admit that 'old people candy' exists. What are some of your favorites? Any types that aren't made anymore?

I don't and haven't seen penny candy at the 7-11 for decades.

Hard coffee candy

Candy cigarettes

Zotz

Pop rocks

Jawbreakers

These bad boys. My dad thought he was tricking me as a kid when he bought them for me because they taste kinda like soap,but I love em.


a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

a reply to: Athetos

And how would you know what soap tastes like?

Had a lot of mouthwashings as a tot?

Avid slip and slide user!


a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha
I also miss 1cent candies like fuzzy peaches,cherry blasters,Swedish fish&berries.

originally posted by: Athetos
Avid slip and slide user!


a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha
I also miss 1cent candies like fuzzy peaches,cherry blasters,Swedish fish&berries.

Swedish fish are okay. That reminds me though. I meant to include Circus Peanuts in the OP. These are some nasty, chewy bits of inedible foam. It doesn't help that they look like ear plugs.

Abba Zaba, Big Hunk, Lemon Drops, PEZ....

And don't forget Good & Plenty and Lifesavers.

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

The only one I don't remember is the Necco Wafers. Actually, truth be known any of the old candies are probably better for a child's health than anything made today. Today's candies are chock full of high fructose, preservatives and all sorts of other carcinogens designed specifically to addict children to their product.

I smoked a bunch of the candy cigs before I finally got addicted to the real things. If I had stuck with the candy variety I'd probably already be dead now but the real thing will eventually kill me soon enough.

PS: good post. S&F

My son loves root beer barrels. I got them for him because it was a candy my grandpa always had.

I miss snaps goddammit! it's like they don't exist anymore.

SNAPS

Super bummed!

Red hots , cinnamon toothpicks, black jelly babies, and long shoelace licorice ( preferably green which was mint flavour)

Old people candy.....

Advil
Excedrin
Tylenol

originally posted by: Sheye
long shoelace licorice ( preferably green which was mint flavour)

That sounds really good actually. I don't think I've seen any flavored ropes like that.

Chicko sticks

My dad told me he got "chuckles" in his rations during the Korean war.
A jelly type candy.

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

How about Nekko candy dots...you know those little colored suckers on strips of wax paper?
en.m.wikipedia.org...

a reply to: BlueJacket

Was going to comment on the same candy! But I didn't know the brand, only candy dots.

I don't know why but I really loved those.

Awesome thread!!!

Lemon drops. Old people love lemon-flavored things and they LOVE lemon drops.

originally posted by: NarcolepticBuddha

originally posted by: Sheye
long shoelace licorice ( preferably green which was mint flavour)

That sounds really good actually. I don't think I've seen any flavored ropes like that.

It was my favorite flavour of licorice and it was delicious. Also enjoyed the sugared green mint leaves.

I absolutely loved any clove flavoured hard Christmas candies as well. Remember those hard candy mixes with the coloful candy at Christmas. I knew exactly which ones were clove and cinnamon. Lol

Also enjoyed the candy love hearts which were in a roll and had little sayings on them. They were sour but tastey.