I am Jean :)

I came here for information on MK Ultra. The site looks interesting though and may stay even after my questions cease!

I will post my questions/stories here and again in the appropriate forum... Hi everyone!

I feel strange posting this. Mainly because the only thing that brought my attention to it is the movie The Banshee Chapter... Which I couldn't even make it 5 minutes into because it freaked me out! I love horror movies and thrillers. I'm not easily frightened by movies. But here I am wondering about MK Ultra and why does it bother me? I don't know if I should start with my own past or just jump forward to two years ago... So sure whatever. Maybe I am brainwashed. I live a successful life and I am happy with who I am. I believe the things that we have endured have shaped us into who we are and I love me. So why question this insane conspiracy although proven? Because of my brother... Two years ago I started having issues with my memory. Point A wasn't connecting to Point B. Working memory? I don't know. I went to my doctor. Had a million tests done. My memory is in the 99th percentile. So why am I forgetting things? They ran MRIs and found an anomaly. For those that don't know what that is... It's a section of brain cells that developed differently than the rest of my brain. They don't know why. My neurologist says that it's dormant and they are just going to continue annual MRIs. NO ONE KNOWS WHAT IT IS. But where it is... I should have problems with my speach but my vocabulary is above average. During all this. Numerous testings. Numerous scans. My brother went crazy. Before his episode he was rambling about '___'. The drug they used in The Banshee Chapter movie. I researched MK Ultra. Everything I read adds up to my brother's condition. Everything. He instantly (after this episode) had a fear of phones. He talks all crazy and feels like he's being followed. He won't come to my house and there's no reason for him to be fearful of my house. At one point he bought twenty prepaid phones and threw them away after he used each one. I didn't get it. I thought he was sick. They diagnosed him as bipolar schitzophrenic. He refused meds. They TAZED my non-violent brother in the mental institute when he refused to take them. Granted... Let's say he got violent which I doubt... He isn't a physically strong person. Tall but not strong. Napoleon Dynamite is his nickname just to give you a sense as to how unthreatening he is. Over the next two years, he did well on his meds. He did some strange things but was well or at least able to control his paranoia. BUT he bought plane tickets to the strangest places. New York. Denver. Never for long. He's an outdoor person so I can understand Denver. But why New York???? Time went on. He'd talk occassionally about his conspiracies and I listened. I just reassured him that should it all be true that we didn't have anything to hide. I'd tell him to let the government follow us or listen in on us. Trying to help him find comfort. During one of these conversations and while he was in decent mental health... He told me and looked me in the eyes (with human in them) that he would never kill himself ever. Well about a month ago. He left for Arizona and nearly died. Suicide. Drug overdose. Supposedly took all his meds to try and die. I've been interrogating my parents as to why they let him go. They just respond with there was nothing they could do. He is on civil committment. Has a case worker. And his case worker let him go!!!! Without question. Without making sure he was ok. He was acting strange in the days before he left. I begged my mom to stop him. So I fall upon MK Ultra recently out of no where. Start to wonder if my brother isn't crazy. Maybe he was targeted because of our abusive past. Maybe he was targeted becaue of our family's high intelligence. Then it hits me. I don't remember a thing from my childhood. All I know is I didn't want to be in my house. Eventually I was taken out and put in foster care. People ask me why I didn't want to be home and my only response is they were mean to me.

So my question... how can I help my brother? Is he really sick? Or is this him snapping in and out of something? Perhaps both? But why? I was the one that was abused the worst as a child and I am fully functioning... even with these "displaced brain cells."

I could go on and on with the things I have found in the last week. But I do NOT want to end up like my brother. We live in Wisconsin. I don't know much about the files that were found on MK Ultra nor do I know IF Wisconsin is tied to the project. However, Gaylord Nelson (WI Governor) is, and every governor since him is in some way tied to someone or something involved with the project. 90% of our governors went to UW Madison, and I find that disturbing especially cuz they honor Gaylord Nelson!

So... Post away but be nice!

hello, good evening and welcome.

reply to post by lilultra


Warm Welcome to the ATS Family. I hope you find the answers you are looking for here...

Des

reply to post by lilultra


Coming from a newcomer myself; glad to have you here!

Thank you

reply to post by lilultra


A hello to you from another new one

us newbs trying to get our posts up... i cant post in certain forums. like replies. is that normal?

reply to post by lilultra


Welcome to ATS, lilultra!

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BoneZ,
ATS Moderator and Member

reply to post by lilultra


Has your brother had MRIs done? Any reason to think he has similar neurological anomalies?

Start to wonder if my brother isn't crazy. Maybe he was targeted because of our abusive past. Maybe he was targeted becaue of our family's high intelligence. Then it hits me. I don't remember a thing from my childhood.

Does your brother remember your childhood?

How far back can you recall?

Welcome to ATS

We don't talk much about our childhood therefore I do not know what he can and cannot remember. We moved when I was 8 and my siblings were 4 & 1. All I know is they do not remember anything prior to the move. I have no solid memories prior to the age of 13. That's when I start remembering things. I was placed in foster care at 14. I've had periods of memory loss since the age of 13. No MRIs have been done that I am aware of. But speaking of MRIs. I flew a windshield at 17 and suffered (obviously) a concussion. I was helicoptered to the hospital. No MRIs are on record from that incident? < that just doesn't make sense to me!

I wish I could find a scan similar to what mine looks like to show you! You think oh just a couple cells whatever. It's like the size of a quarter in the scan and the scan is like half actual size. So this isn't some small section of my brain. When they showed me, I was freaked out. I asked what would happen to me if this was something bad. All they said was my speech would be effected.

There's so much to say. I don't even know where to begin! I've been told all my life I was brainwashed. My dad accused my foster family and social workers of brainwashing me. Yet it was the best period of my childhood! I dunno. What's real? What's not? LOL Why is my memory in the 99th percentile yet I can't remember something 30 seconds later? But in two weeks I can't forget it? Why is it that I can teach myself any trade with no background? My brother is the same way, but now labeled crazy....

Hails to ya!