No Love This Valentine's Day

reply to post by Taupin Desciple


I thank you for your compassionate reply. I think it would have been easier for me if we didn't get along, if we had good reasons to break up. We had the kind of marraige that everyone envied and admired and were together for over 30 years. To know that all of that has ended simply because...well, things happen... isn't easy to accept. We are still living together because of financial reasons right now.

I trusted this man with my heart and my life and can never trust again. It hurts when I see old people still holding hands, still caring about their spouse. And here I am a good, kind, decent, loving human being feeling used up and tossed away like an old shoe. Wether you want to or not, it changes you. I could never look at another man without thinking this won't happen again. If my X could leave, anyone could.

Again I thank you for your reply.

TheDoctor46
reply to post by Night Star

 

Night Star you seem such a wonderful person filled with love and compassion for others. Someone like you will never be alone. And I'm sure one day you will feel love again

I appreciate your thoughts, but I highly doubt after 30 years of trusting someone and getting dumped, I'll ever trust again.

blueyezblkdragon
reply to post by Night Star

 

Well if we wake up everyday and try to make things better, we'll find that things will eventually be good enough.

I can only hope.

reply to post by Baddogma


Thank you for sharing your story. I guess we all have our stories to tell.

beezzer
reply to post by Night Star

 

An internet hug for you.

Hugs back!

fossilera

FissionSurplus
Sometimes the only way to dull the hurt is to give the love you have to somebody who needs it....badly. Which is exactly what you did with your post. Thank you.

Do something nice for yourself today. A little chocolate, a nice meal, and a funny movie perhaps.

I don't always agree with Fission, but I think this is worth posting again.

For today (or tonight rather), do something special that you don't normally get to do; something for yourself. I've known today as Single's Awareness Day as far back as I can remember, and if it makes you feel any better, you're not the only one in a less-than-happy mood. And remember, this day only comes once a year, so at least tomorrow should be better, right?

-fossilera

I suppose it should be better. Yes. Thanks!

greyer
Here is my reason why there is no love based on my experience:

Women/girls are apathetic driven creatures who view men/boys as objects. That is the specific reason why they will leave you for someone else - they believe that they deserve anything they want and males deserve nothing. They believe that they run the world.

So even letting the female gender be so independent and come up in society as they have during the last 30 years is going to come back to haunt all men of earth - they will take over the world and enslave men. Hahaha

Point being - there is no love from a woman. That is the answer. It is all fake nonsense stemming from EgOiSm.

Wow, I don't know what women you are basing all women on but you are soooooo wrong!!! I have never in my life viewed a man as just an object or thought that males deserve nothing. I was a giving, thoughtful, generous, loving, interesting, fun and compassionate wife. There is a lot you need to learn about real love! Do not judge me or anyone else you don't know by those crazy statements.

blueyezblkdragon
reply to post by Baddogma

 

Huh I was in a similar situation for a while, overprotective parent's, mental problems etc. She followed through with the suicide though.

I was in high school during that, it messed me up for a while. Had I done a few thing's different she may still be here. I don't want to go through my story, it's best left in a safe, wrapped in chain's, dumped in concrete and fired into the sun.

But that's enough with the ghosts of my past.

I am so sorry to hear that Honey. The thing is, many suicidal people would have chosen to do so no matter what someone else might have said or done at the time. It's horribe to blame yourself in any way.

reply to post by blueyezblkdragon


Wow, that took my silly story to a much darker place. Leave it to g-d'nd Valentine's Day to bring out the darkest memories.

Having that kinda guilt chained and thrown into a dark corner will grow a monster.

Remember, we absolutely cannot be responsible for what other people do... but I get the "what ifs." All I can say is that suicide, except when in extreme circumstances like terminal illness, is the ultimate in selfishness. The person is taken away from hurt (as far as we know) but the people left, especially those the act was aimed at, have to deal with the guilt through their lives IF they have a heart.

It doesn't affect the heartless... only the people who DON'T "deserve it."

I would guess that she would say to forget it, she was young and made a stupid, irrevocable gesture and even if you were daring her to do it, it's her responsibility and I doubt you were a trained therapist... right?

Either way, talking about it to a trained therapist isn't a bad idea... kinda like a psychological purge. Also remember, people are crazy and it just gets milder as we age... but never goes completely away.

And it wasn't your fault... even if you think it was. Edit: Which is exactly what Night said, except far more succinctly and more lovely a manner.

reply to post by Night Star


And Nightstar... your avatar has given me inappropriate thoughts about long pointy ears... so thanks for that!

I've about had it with hormones... God's ultimate joke, this sex/romance thing... He (they, no one, whatever) must be laughing themselves until their skivvies are wet.

reply to post by Baddogma


Your story just reminded me. You know when you forget something but you see or read something like that and it just reminds you. Anyway no she wouldn't got to a psychologist and she hated therapists because she'd been locked up in an asylum before, and I guess she trusted me more than anyone else.

I always knew it never was my fault. She tried to tell me before she you know... I didn't really pick up on it at the time. I was finishing up high school at the time so I was busy. But one of the last thing she told me was to never say goodbye. If you never said goodbye you were never really gone, you just weren't there right now. She was smart like that...

I dealt with all the pain a while ago, found my own way to deal with it after all it wasn't the first person I'd ever lost. I tried keeping sight of what I thought was the right thing to do. I made a lot of mistake's on the way, became a monster, was betrayed, manipulated and twisted by others. Again those are different stories which should stay in the back of my mind where they're out of sight and out of mind.

One thing I learned from valentines day is that a great love is like a good memory when it's there and it's out of reach it can be all you think about it. You can focus on it and force it, but the more you do the more you push it away, but if you just wait and hold still maybe it will come back to you. Don't regret, just look forward and don't ever stop, as cliché as it sound's it's true.

Think I was far away from the truth? The data says I am right.

Now that women are independent they are keeping what is theirs, and they are Changing The World as we know it. Surely they will find an artificial way to create life and they will no longer have a need for men. Then, they may wipe us out.

Prenuptial Agreements Are on the Rise, And Women Are Requesting Them
www.huffingtonpost.com...

That doesn't surprise me - women are hesitant about prenuptial agreements throughout all of history and the second they become independent in society they start requesting them. It shows their true colors - that they are evil, and I have known this for a while. I have understood that they feed off the lust from men every day and that is how they get what they want - there is an ever present goal on the inside of their egotistical mind and that is manipulation and control - in truth being the opposite of real love.

reply to post by greyer


Dude, you've run into some cold women!

I feel there is something to women being more ..er, practical about romance, in general, possibly due to evolutionary mechanisms, but not all and that doesn't equate with your dark view.

Don't know what else to say... I've had some bad hands dealt, but certainly am glad women are around and as far as I know, they like most of us men just fine.

reply to post by greyer


Honey, you must have run into some really bad women in your time, but I can assure you, most of us are not like that at all!!

Where were you meeting these women anyway??

reply to post by Night Star

I used to love Valentines Day, the candlelit dinner, flowers on the table, heart shaped chocklates and a card expressing how deeply I would be loved forever. Now all I have are the memories of a sweeter time, years and years of precious memories that now bring sorrow and pain.

Remember, memories of a sweeter time can bring joy and nostalgia.

Being alone is not all that bad! It only is as bad as you want to make it.
I can not explain the perks of not having someone in my life. As its my personal point of view.

I feel bad when I see people hurting like you are. If I could only let you see life through my eyes. You would see, that things could be worse.
Is she happy now? That is what should matter.

And I am not coming from some cloud 9 illusion.
I lost my soul mate back in 2004. I found a couple dead end relationships within that time. Only to make me realize I was happy just being alone. When I am never alone. You can find companionship, but true love is rare indeed.
If you have had it 1 time in your life. Then you are doing better than some who have never been loved back ever and they are over 35.

reply to post by zysin5


Oh sorry, I didn't know anyone was still replying here. As that saying goes It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Still...such deep sadness and loss and life will never be the same again.

Night Star
reply to post by zysin5

 

Oh sorry, I didn't know anyone was still replying here. As that saying goes It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Still...such deep sadness and loss and life will never be the same again.

Yeah, I am always late to the party here. But I felt a strong vibe in your OP. So I just thought I would drop you a line in here.
Yep, a good ole adage!

And yes, such deep sadness and loss.. Life will never be the same for me either. I just see everything differently. And I try not to be overly cynical about things either. But all the same, its like that song from Wham. Never going to dance again the way I did with you!
Sure we may go on to find new loves, and new relationships in our lives. But it will never compare to what was before, in the long long ago, in the before time!
Cheers mate.. Keep that chin up!