Alligator for Governor of Florida

Now, the up-coming election, I've heard our candidates are Charlie Crist, and Rick Scott.

I don't like those options. I want a real Floridian. I want a governor in touch with the needs and physical realities of Florida.

That's why I think Florida ought to elect an alligator. An alligator, it smells lobbyist meat, and goes into a kill frenzy at the scent.
More politicians need to be like that.

Now, let's say that someone is trying to corrupt the new governor alligator... Sure, it can be temporarily bribed with chickens, but an alligator's loyalty is very hard to buy.

Let's talk hypothetical for a moment now: What if the alligator's running mate was a everglades crocodile? It would fill in all of the weaknesses of the alligator's political policy. And if the alligator legitimately decides to run for office, it will probably pick an everglades croc as it's lieutenant governor.

Personally, I think that an alligator could draw votes from both sides of the aisle, traditionalist conservative republicans, environment loving democrats, and especially among independent voters.

I'm really hoping that one day very soon, Florida will elect the alligator it deserves, not the man who thinks he deserves Florida.

Alligator for governor.

reply to post by Grifter42


We already have a snake for governor, so why not.

F4guy
reply to post by Grifter42

 

We already have a snake for governor, so why not.

That's a metaphorical snake.

I am 100 percent serious in regards to voting in an alligator.

An alligator is mostly incapable of graft.

They're fairly healthy and sensible animals, and unless you provoke a gator, it's not going to hurt you.

I am fairly certain that if the proposed alligator I mentioned were elected, he'd have built that monorail, brought jobs to Florida, improved the economy. There may be a few missing pets in the capital during the adjustment period, but as long as no one leaves their children around the governorgator, everything will turn out for the better.

Then, in a decade or two, the alligator might run for office of the presidency. And what a great president it could be.

Then again, D.C. might be too cold for it's liking..

Another Reptilian thread. Aren't there enough Reptilian people in power already? I suppose, at least everyone would be able to tell there were real Reptilian politicians this way

rickymouse
Another Reptilian thread. Aren't there enough Reptilian people in power already? I suppose, at least everyone would be able to tell there were real Reptilian politicians this way

Character assassination of a decent potential rising star in politics.

I'd like to point out that this would be a reptile, not a reptilian shapeshifter, as the word reptilian has come to be regarded as meaning.

A reptilian shapeshifter is in no way immune to graft, and general is more prone to it.

While it is possible that any current reptilian shapeshifters in power might seek to be a bad influence towards it, the voting public would ideally try and elect an alligator that was morally strong against political corruption. Not a "Rick Scott" of an alligator. Lousy, corruptible, guilty of heading a corporation in a criminal scheme to defraud the government of hundred of millions of dollars... This would be a good alligator. Not a crook.

The more and more I think about this, I'm sure it would work.

reply to post by Grifter42


Instead of a debate it can challenge its electoral opponents to wrestle in the water, winner take all (or take flight). If Florida elected an alligator to its highest office the day will come when someone will cut its head off and sell it as a paperweight.

Your idea reminds me of the very enjoyable novels of Carl Hiaasen, and his former governor character who lives in the swamps.

Aleister
reply to post by Grifter42

 

Instead of a debate it can challenge its electoral opponents to wrestle in the water, winner take all (or take flight). If Florida elected an alligator to its highest office the day will come when someone will cut its head off and sell it as a paperweight.

Your idea reminds me of the very enjoyable novels of Carl Hiaasen, and his former governor character who lives in the swamps.

edit on 11-2-2014 by Aleister because: (no reason given)

All too true about the paperweight and tourist trinket state of alligator heads. Very sad state of affairs.

But electing an alligator is the first step to recovery. And Hiaasen is a great author. I've read his books many times.

You know it's a good novel when the cover's been worn off it by use, and falling in the tub.

Hiaasen could be lieutenant governor, to the alligator. He seems like a man with his heart in the right place.