It´s easy to be happy (once you figure it out)

yeahright

The following is my opinion as a member participating in this discussion.

Happiness is a decision. Sometimes it's a decision to self-delude. The trick is in sustaining it.

As an ATS Staff Member, I will not moderate in threads such as this where I have participated as a member.

I think it's a feeling although of course we may delude ourselves or try to persuade ourselves that we are happy when we are not.

reply to post by Manula

This post made me happy, I like the style in which its written. Its like as if the message is being massaged in and I like a good massage-message.

But happiness, or at least the happiness our modern culture sells, directly relates to our material possessions, thus once we have something immediately we crave something else, so basically happiness is always on the horizon, and once we reach the highest peak we see there are an infinite number of mountains.
Modern man does not crave or want happiness or fulfillment, but just immediate satisfaction.

I totally agree Op, happiness is a choice, speaking to some of my patients, many feel that they will never be happy as long as they have rents and mortgages to pay, working from 9 to 6 everyday in shippy jobs with little no no satisfaction.

We allow ourselves to carry more than we are capable of doing, and suddenly we are cast into downward spirals of bad choices, some try to make up for it trying to make amends but the roots of their problems were made long long ago.

Id rather have people making conscious choices about their everyday lives by weighing the consequences than people deluding themselves pretending to be happy, most of the time, the correct choices don't turn up to be either the most popular or the most satisfying action, doing the right stuff means sacrificing our immediate ideals of happiness.

Id rather have people focused on reality, as happiness in our material plane is as unsustainable as complete sadness, both are choices, the most sane of them is being grounded in the middle, balancing our desires and emotions, by keeping our feelings in check.

On the other hand, I´d rather be whole than happy, and I´d rather be happy than sad or miserable!

Cheers!

reply to post by Manula


Do you travel much, I wouldn't say you do because writing about things with such an idealistic point of view shows a lot of ignorance.

Your world may seem like a school to you, but for some, it is impossible to focus on anything but surviving and getting through each day one at a time and "figuring it out" may be an objective that only the privilaged with the daily time and the peace of mind can afford.

I understand your view but don't ignore the huge number of inhabitants on this ball of dirt who will never have the chance to find happiness. They are many I'm sure.

Western thinking is not so evolved in the grand scheme of things.

reply to post by nerbot


I don´t ignore that, but i see life as a series of lives, i believe in reincarnation, i believe everything makes sense in the soul path.

The soul is living what she needs to evolve, she is gathering experience, wisdom, compassion, she is understanding what life is, by living all sorts of situations.

So i don' t ignore that, but i believe that in most of the cases it all makes sense in a soul centered perspective.

reply to post by Manula


So the question is, have you achieved this everlasting happiness?

Happiness does not come from if or when but from from with in. Some people say, I will be hapy when or if but never achieve true happiness. True happiness comes from with in.

reply to post by Manula

The emotional process is like this: beliefs create thoughts, thoughts create emotions.

Beliefs influence thoughts, which in turn influence our emotions, and emotions come and go like the wind. What creates our beliefs is a deeper question. Getting to the root of one's own beliefs is the key to finding happiness, and often it mean getting rid of those beliefs that influence our thoughts (judgements) and which in turn provoke unhappy emotions. Having said that, I do not belief happiness should be our goal, rather we should do as the Dude does, learn to abide.

This means knowing when to say, "F^ck it. Let's go bowling."

Buddha said as long as we hold tightly to our cherished ideas, our beliefs, our memories, our emotions, our thoughts, our cultural memes, and our childish ego, then the self-inflicted pain of dukkha is ever with us. If we understand that this pain is self-inflicted, then it stands to reason that liberation is our responsibility. This is the core teaching of the Buddha; it is a call to self-awareness and self-government. It is an individual path, not a collective one, which leads to liberty.

The Buddha also pointed out that even our attachment to pleasure is part of our self-inflicted pain because, as things change, we suffer the loss of that pleasure. So then, dukkha is human life as we know it—as we have experience it. Buddha knew that liberation requires independent action on our part and the first step to liberation must be to clearly see the source of our pain, only then can we hope to traverse the arduous path by which we can find peace and freedom from such needless suffering.

Most people think dukkha that Buddha spoke of is the result of circumstances, however this is not true. Our circumstances do not cause this form suffering but rather it is what we tell ourselves about our circumstance that produces our self-inflicted pain. Our life situation may appear good at one moment (or so we tell ourselves), and then things may appear bad in the next moment. Our reality, it seems, is what we perceive it to be at any given moment. However, it would be more accurate to name this a so-called “reality” what it really is: delusion. So then, it can be simply stated that human beings suffer because of their delusions.

That is not to say that our suffering isn't real. The effects of dukkha are very real, but the delusions that we conjure up in our mind are only as real as we imagine them to be. In other words, it is our belief in the unreal that produces suffering—not reality itself. Our perception of reality is colored by many factors, fears, beliefs, misplaced loyalties, and various other sources of human emotions which conspire against our rational minds. As if this were not enough, it is our most rational thoughts which lead us into error and are themselves part and parcel of the delusion we can't seem to escape.

Due to the conditioning of our mind we think we can see reality but we cannot. We can only guess, imagine, suppose, and invent our own idea of reality. Like the idea we call God, our projection of reality is flawed and full of error, it reflects our own human weakness and delusion. We create gods in our own image, and after our own likeness—in the same manor we fashion our own concepts of reality and then bring them to life by our belief. So what is real? The reality is everything we believe may be wrong, but we can not deny the effects of belief and our role in manifesting and sustaining them. Our perception of reality may be in error; nevertheless the consequence of that delusion is very real—of this fact there can be no doubt.

The human condition, as we commonly experience it, is full of suffering and bondage. The Buddha pointed out this bondage and a way to be free from it. This freedom occurs in recognizing how, through ignorance, we bind ourselves in thought to our desire. It all has to do with what is going on in our mind—sometimes pushing away, sometimes grasping, we suffer and cause others to suffer with us. Our task is to become aware, to let go, and to empty ourselves of beliefs which lead to unskillful actions. Sadly, most Western Buddhism is the spiritual equivalent of sitting around in a bathrobe, smoking pot, and bowling. But it that so bad? Not if we can bring us real peace, enough peace to sit down, smile, and say, "the Dude abides."

reply to post by Manula


I like to see you being happy when you are suffering 24h a day, when you are being constantly abused, when you don't have a job and your family suffers, when you see your children die from hunger, when your dreams and hopes are lost, or when you are a modern slave.....

Real hard times leave you ''scars'' that haunt your entire life,
and NO they don't make you a better person.
90% of criminals where abused when they where kids

You are blaming people for their sadness?
lol so when there was slavery, you would blame the slaves for being unhappy, and congratulate their masters for being happy sadistic bastards!

You may believe whatever you want, and maybe happiness is a choice to you , but that doesn't apply to the majority of population
and accusing others for being unhappy is pure arrogance.

It easy to talk bull Sh!t when your a$$ is safe!

As long as there is injustice in the world, happiness is not a choice...

If you are happy with your own life, then you can choose to ignore the suffering around you...and be ''happy''
But it is not natural to be happy all the time, it is normal for humans (and animals in general) to experience life through different emotions
If someone is happy all the time means that he has mental issues.

Imagine the things you hate the most, being experienced through your life 24h a day with no salvation coming. if you are still happy then you are just crazy.

And when forcing your self to to be happy, you are not trully happy you are just deciving yourself,
But your subconsiousness still experience things as they trully are.

Manula
reply to post by nerbot

 

I don´t ignore that, but i see life as a series of lives, i believe in reincarnation, i believe everything makes sense in the soul path.

The soul is living what she needs to evolve, she is gathering experience, wisdom, compassion, she is understanding what life is, by living all sorts of situations.

So i don' t ignore that, but i believe that in most of the cases it all makes sense in a soul centered perspective.

the fear of death makes people creating all sorts of beliefs, if I believe I can fly and jump from a 70 meter building, I will die no matter what my belief was.

But...since ignoring reality is your thing, you'd better stick to fairytales about souls and reincarnation and whatever belief makes you feel ''happier'' about the inevitable Death.

Or realize that life is just a one way ride, with luck being the big decider if you are going to enjoy it or suffer....

Dr1Akula
reply to post by Manula

 

I like to see you being happy when you are suffering 24h a day, when you are being constantly abused, when you don't have a job and your family suffers, when you see your children die from hunger, when your dreams and hopes are lost, or when you are a modern slave.....

Real hard times leave you ''scars'' that haunt your entire life,
and NO they don't make you a better person.
90% of criminals where abused when they where kids

You are blaming people for their sadness?
lol so when there was slavery, you would blame the slaves for being unhappy, and congratulate their masters for being happy sadistic bastards!

You may believe whatever you want, and maybe happiness is a choice to you , but that doesn't apply to the majority of population
and accusing others for being unhappy is pure arrogance.

It easy to talk bull Sh!t when your a$$ is safe!

As long as there is injustice in the world, happiness is not a choice...

If you are happy with your own life, then you can choose to ignore the suffering around you...and be ''happy''
But it is not natural to be happy all the time, it is normal for humans (and animals in general) to experience life through different emotions
If someone is happy all the time means that he has mental issues.

Imagine the things you hate the most, being experienced through your life 24h a day with no salvation coming. if you are still happy then you are just crazy.

And when forcing your self to to be happy, you are not trully happy you are just deciving yourself,
But your subconsiousness still experience things as they trully are.

Manula
reply to post by nerbot

 

I don´t ignore that, but i see life as a series of lives, i believe in reincarnation, i believe everything makes sense in the soul path.

The soul is living what she needs to evolve, she is gathering experience, wisdom, compassion, she is understanding what life is, by living all sorts of situations.

So i don' t ignore that, but i believe that in most of the cases it all makes sense in a soul centered perspective.

the fear of death makes people creating all sorts of beliefs, if I believe I can fly and jump from a 70 meter building, I will die no matter what my belief was.

But...since ignoring reality is your thing, you'd better stick to fairytales about souls and reincarnation and whatever belief makes you feel ''happier'' about the inevitable Death.

Or realize that life is just a one way ride, with luck being the big decider if you are going to enjoy it or suffer....

You know what... I think you are the kind of guy that no matter what i say, you wont change your opinion, you wont even consider changing it.
You stick to your beliefs about life and i stick to mine.
I think i made myself clear, the world is full of examples where hard situations didn't stop people from being happy about their lives.
Just look around, do you want one example: google Nick Vujicic.

Manula

... the world is full of examples where hard situations didn't stop people from being happy about their lives.
Just look around, do you want one example: google Nick Vujicic.

The world is also full of people with everrything most could wish for and they're still miserable.

O.P. is still idealistic imo.

nerbot

Manula

... the world is full of examples where hard situations didn't stop people from being happy about their lives.
Just look around, do you want one example: google Nick Vujicic.

The world is also full of people with everrything most could wish for and they're still miserable.

O.P. is still idealistic imo.

Am i idealistic? Really? I am talking about reality. What i wrote is real, the problem is not life events, its how you deal with them, how you judge them as good or bad, its how you make something positive or negative of them.
You are satisfied when you are liking anything, your mind is liking, so it feels good.
But who is liking or disliking? Its you. Reality is neutral. You are the one that puts positive or negative to it, its always you.
I agree that some situations are more difficult than others to handle, some situations seem to have only negativity to offer, but you have to see further, don't just react to whats in front of you, its up to you to make something good of all life events.

You cant do it? A lot of people cant do it? Ok, all i am saying is that it doesn't have to be that way. We have a choice.

IMO, iam not idealistic, its real, but you have to make it real, you have to work it out, its not handed to you, you have to conquer positivity, the normal automatic reaction to a lot of life events is negativity, but we have to learn to get out of it, we have to make an effort to see further, be wiser.

You will get there someday.

Manula
The emotional process is like this: beliefs create thoughts, thoughts create emotions.
So if you have positive beliefs and positive thoughts, the result is positive emotions, like joy, fulfillment and happiness.

I liked this part, very true about the beliefs... sometimes negative personal beliefs is what causes much of one's own suffering. If you can identify those beliefs and challenge them yourself you can weed them out and plant healthier or more beneficial ones in their place.

Its true, we decide, to over emphasize whatever thoughts we have, although, Feelings are "felt" with the body and do not have much to do with the cultural meanings we give them.

Feelings belong to the wordless state, pain, fear, love, happiness, emotions on the other hands are a product of the mind and all of its referential frames derived from feelings, love - lust, fear - hate , pain - the idea of pain before we feel it and its rejection or desire, happiness - fulfillment , etc!

Its a choice, we can program and reprogram ourselves to spin things around, I love it when people are so set on their ideas that when presented with alternatives they immediately deny them.

Sure , live can be harsh , but most of the time we decide by the choices we have made, to live in existential cesspools of our own design.
And on the other hand, our culture has implanted false ideals of artificial fulfillment that can only be attained by material means, that once having them, in 5 minutes they become obsolete because the new model or iteration of the trash we have is just around the corner...

We choose, but making that choice is hard, opposite of making our lives hell, which is rather easy!

reply to post by Manula


In Theory, I agree. However, In Reality, it is Very Different.
Let's say, a guy worked himself into the Hospital and under a Surgeons knife 4 times, after blowing disks in lower spine 5 times. 1st time, just dealt with it and let it 'heal'.
Then could no longer work and Had to accept going on Dissability. Then his wife could no longer work because of similar problems. Plus she is a mentally challenged person. She Cannot get Dissability because she has not earned enough work credits. Now the Bills have ALL gone way up, and they cannot get paid. So next comes the shutoffs of Electric and Gas. Then after rent can't be paid, they are out on the street. in the middle of a tough winter. They are lucky enough to be able to eat a meal once a day at best.
Where exactly do you see the Happiness in all that?
Can you see how Reality is Way different than Your merely 'Theoretical' World? I can. Syx.

I didn't read the whole post. It seemed like it was written in a style of poetry and I don't, won't, refuse to read poetry. I read a little.

Happiness (generally speaking) is a state of mind. A rich man with everything can be unhappy where as a poor man who can barely keep his family fed or even alive in some countries can be happy. Likewise a mass murderer can be happy where as a priest who caters to his people and chosen god can be unhappy.

What makes the difference? This: Perception of your world surroundings and your place in it - according to you alone - that can make you happy. Simply, you become happy because of what you choose to think about happiness. Your perception of happiness and how it relates to you. This is what The Bible said, You are what you think in your heart - I'm paraphrasing but it applies here.

If you are unhappy, Change your perception about yourself, your world the things in it that effects you. Then you can be happy. For me this meant stopping worrying about things like money, banks, jobs, peoples attitudes towards me and my perceptions. Lose the things that bother you - they don't have to go away, you just have to ignore them. The poor man and mass murderer above are both free because they freed themselves from the confines of society or as I call it, the confines of social engineering. The rich man and the priest are not free and therefore not free to experience happiness.

reply to post by JohnPhoenix


Why would you refer to the OP as poetry? Its not, English is not my native language so its hard for me to write properly, but i try.

reply to post by Manula


I am an average person with an average life. I approve this message.

No offense intended, but i think this is a classic case of self delusion with a hefty dose of rose colored glasses syndrome thrown in for good measure.

reply to post by johnb


Perhaps the idea is to just accept it and move on, as harsh as that seems. But dwelling on it will make you more miserable for a longer duration vs. acceptance and moving on.

Just an idea..