Random Abuse On The Street... Why?

So i was walking to work this morning, minding my own business like you do when... a young teenage lad started calling me "specky" from across the street... Referring to me wearing glasses of course. Now, im 5'4 medium build female, walking alone and not even making eye contact, This lad was stood outside a "school" for kids who get excluded repeatedly. Ive just been wondering.. why? Of all people to call out on the street and you're choosing a 24 year old, 5 ft 4 medium build female? Im sure his two mates were dead impressed. I was half tempted to stop walking and see if he had accidentally dropped his B*****ks on the street.

Strange thing is its never women to say things to me when im just walking from here to there, its always a boy/bloke... Back in November i was walking to work on a sunday by myself and 2 lad's said id "Dropped my gay card" - Hilarious i know, you just cant beat a bit of dipship yorkshire banter.

I was wondering if anyone has ever had this experience and why people bother to do it? Is the average man's self esteem so low he has to resort to that kind of stuff just to feel secure about himself?

I just dont get it.

I wonder if i was a 6ft man with double my shoulder width if i'd get the same sort of #?

reply to post by SearchLightsInc


Some young men can be jerks when they try to impress their buddies.

I would have have walked right up to him and turned the joke on him whispering : "You can see me?"

But seriously, just ignore them, they are harmless.

Dogs that bark, don't bite

reply to post by SearchLightsInc


The people who "bully" others are typically lacking something.

My guess is the boys who shouted at you are either in the closet gay, unattractive and self conscience or have very small penis'.

Could be all of the above. I wouldn't let it bother your day. Easier said than done but just ignore the comments. If you starve an idiot or a thought it usually dies.

Have a better day tomorrow. Take care.

reply to post by SearchLightsInc


Crikey.........its the way us males assert our maleness.....
Mostly its harmless as you say,
Specky is a play on Becky maybe....meaningful to the shouter....IDK
I have all kinds of insults rhymes and nonsense that runs like a river of bulldooey in my head 24-7....doesnt everyone........
I think males are more prone to let it out than ladies.....
We constantly insult and chastise each other as a form of entertainment actually....
The better you are at twisting a phrase or a quick scarcastic sic, retort. the higher your stock on the manscale.kind of....
Or it could be simple hubris on our part...we are very light headed at times....
My apologies for our idiocies......peace

Its Called safety in numbers.

Most of the misguided youth or adults to that matter, that rely on strength in numbers, to show agressiveness have no balls alone.

I am a man living on the edge of a ghetto (or downtrodden urban area) that can tell you first hand that rants such as you describe will probably never happen from one single person, it will always be in numbers.

stirling
reply to post by SearchLightsInc

 

Crikey.........its the way us males assert our maleness.....
Mostly its harmless as you say,
Specky is a play on Becky maybe....meaningful to the shouter....IDK
I have all kinds of insults rhymes and nonsense that runs like a river of bulldooey in my head 24-7....doesnt everyone........
I think males are more prone to let it out than ladies.....
We constantly insult and chastise each other as a form of entertainment actually....
The better you are at twisting a phrase or a quick scarcastic sic, retort. the higher your stock on the manscale.kind of....
Or it could be simple hubris on our part...we are very light headed at times....
My apologies for our idiocies......peace

edit on 27-1-2014 by stirling because: (no reason given)

A moron revealed.



He is what he is.

reply to post by SearchLightsInc


I'm about the same height and a glasses wearing female myself. In the past I've dealt with these types and usually just smile, wave and go on my way. I don't know your neighborhood though, so responding friendly might be seen as a invitation to conversation (which you may or may not want to deal with).

Stay safe out there and don't let the bastids get you down.

reply to post by SearchLightsInc

I was wondering if anyone has ever had this experience and why people bother to do it?

Best to let it go…

On rare occasions people look for an excuse to escalate it to something else.

They insult someone at random and if they get an insult back, in their mind they now have an excuse.

After all, you insulted them…

Wolves will run a herd of elk or bison back and forth to see if any of the animals show signs of weakness…

Don't let people give you the "run around". Ignore it.

Coming from my old school way of thinking, I would have walked up to the little moron and cuffed him upside the head... giving his little buddies something to really laugh at... him getting his ass whooped by a "girl".

But nowadays that would be called "child abuse".

Kids no longer respect anything or anyone because they no longer fear anything or anyone. The bleeding hearts of society are keeping them "protected" from harm's way.

Sometimes in life, we all need a good swift kick in the ass to bring us back down to reality.

Its funny but also tragic, You know how i said he was stood outside a school for kid's that weren't allowed in normal schools? The chances are he's thick as hell and will probably spend the rest of his life struggling on the dole.

Irony he's more concerned with my vision, boy should take his own blinker's off and book up his ideas haha

Wasnt really sure how to respond, but when he asked me how it was going i just smiled and said "Yeah, every things great mate" haha

reply to post by SearchLightsInc


See, the funny thing is that I AM a 6ft (3inches) tall male, and I have gotten waaaaaay more than my fair share of bull**** from rednecks/skinheads/suburban rich kids with nothing better to do. When I was in highschool (I graduated in 2006) some of my friends and I would have to confront guys daily shouting "fag!" and other *really* creative insults that were not provoked in any way.
Of course, we all wanted to believe that would have STAYED in high school after we graduated, but alas, 3 years later we had a confrontation (at a McDonald's of all places..) simply because I was wearing a purple shirt...
I kid you not.

the color purple somehow managed to be offensive enough to somehow make this guy think I was coming onto him (I am not, nor have I ever been gay) haha, and it is truly something that leaves one's head spinning..

I live in WASHINGTON STATE btw, and most folks around here like to think that it's a pretty liberal place to live, but like most things, it depends on who you are i suppose.

I can't offer any explanation because trying to get inside that mentality is honestly too creepy and sad to waste the energy haha. but I do empathize with your situation, and find it pretty surprising that these dudes would randomly harass a girl.. even these back-woods hillbillies usually don't target the girls (unless they're with me or my friends, in which case it REALLY makes sense to call us fags... when we were with our girlfriends.. haha)

anyhow, a rant to answer a rant haha.

reply to post by SearchLightsInc


I live in a fairly bad neighborhood without a car.

I get accosted by men all the time when walking.

I guess I'm just used to it. I don't react or make eye contact at all. One word responses. They get the drift.

I wish women would accost me instead. I'd go walking more often. But nope, douche baggy men are the ones.

Also in my personal experience telling sleaze bag guys you're a lesbian is like the worst thing in the world to do to get rid of sleaze bag guys. I'm not sure where you're at or if I misread your OP wrong but in my experience that's like the worst thing to say to get rid of them. You may as well tell them you're a porn star and looking for your next victim.

(Edit: On the last point, I reread your OP and see it was guys who said that to you. Sorry. )

I think it's just young men and men in general who are used to sleazy dumb women who think that it's a compliment them acting like douche bags in front of their loser friends. They are rude and usually if they are yelling at you it's because they find you attractive. Sounds asinine and backwards but that's been my personal experience.

Who knows?

Either way I just keep on walking or put headphones in ears if I'm at a bus stop.

SearchLightsInc
Its funny but also tragic, You know how i said he was stood outside a school for kid's that weren't allowed in normal schools? The chances are he's thick as hell and will probably spend the rest of his life struggling on the dole.

Indeed.

"Specky" was the best he could come up with? I feel sorry for the guy. His future would be pretty dim even in the best of circumstances.

If I saw you or GeneralEyes walking down the street I would invite you to join me for joyful jaunt in my luxury car out to a charming little place I know in the country, that serves superb food and excellent wine. I find ladies wearing glasses to be devishly attractive.

Believe it or not, they were probably flirting. Badly.

The reasoning for shouting at another person is either the 'safety in numbers, making fun of somebody' idea, or they're flirting.

Slightly off topic, but a girlfriend of mine was once flashed (black raincoat, the whole bit!) by some guy. Without missing a beat, she yelled loudly at him, 'PUT THAT LITTLE THING AWAY!'... he slunk away completely crest (and other) fallen.

the thing is, this is a symptom of the isolation of men and maleness is our society.
they have been completely cut off from a true social role, and emasculated by society.

as they struggle for new identity they tend towards things around them for security, they form niche groups, gangs or start role playing dungeons and dragons in a basement. you know... that kind of dangerous behavior.

these boys have grown up in environments that have had no discipline for their actions to shape their behavior.
so not only do they have nothing to behave like, they have nothing to behave for.

compound that with the idea of Im right and you are wrong that pervades every part of our society now and you have a very dangerous .. very stupid bunch of males.

im sorry you were picked on. anyone they thought was weaker than them would have been tested. like a pack of wild dogs. nipping at your heels.

kids have no respect at all, i would not dare shout things to people from across the street when i was in school.To be honest i have had the same experienced plenty of time myself, i just laugh at them now.

reply to post by SearchLightsInc


I'm a 6ft2 male with a relatively good build (not mad bulky or anything) and short hair - so I'm not the usual target of street rats - but I still get random crap said to me sometimes, usually by a lad who's with a few others.

It's usually not an insult (though I did get called 'lanky' a few times which is a pseudo-insult I guess lol) but its stuff like comparisons (I look like a lot of people apparently) and sometimes its almost provoked me into fighting straight away - until I realise this is just someone's pathetic attempt at banter. I wouldn't mind if someone came up to me normally and said it but I'm talking about having a name shouted in your face by someone as you walk past. It's disrespectful.

What does #ing annoy me is when a car drives past and some idiot shouts something (usually intangible) towards me. It's never made sense to me because I'd rather the car stopped and we scrapped it out if they wanted some sort of animalistic 'buzz'. But instead they'll attempt to insult you then drive off at 40 mph lol.

Once I was with my friend, who is a 6ft 5 short-haired black male (as stupid as it is being black and having short hair is associated with toughness round here), and even then some fools drove past and shouted something. I swear to God I was begging my friend that time to chase the car with me; just to ask the muppets why they felt compelled to do that. My friend is alot more laid back with that crap than me though.

Nowadays, I honestly wouldn't think twice about it. The type of person you are describing is your typical low life who will learn good morals the hard way. The fact they are targeting girls over guys says it all, but believe me you get these idiots everywhere regardless of who you are or how big you are.

It is how fools make themselves feel better - a temporary moment of perceived superiority. There are the minority is this country (UK) and are increasingly becoming a smaller one as more and more people are connected (I've lived in London, Manchester and Birmingham over the last however many years) regardless of accent, colour, interests, and so forth.

I can tell you for a fact that these street attitudes were MUCH worse when I was a kid in London. You wouldn't believe some of the # that was said/happened to us on the streets when we were only 9/10/11 and sometimes by FULLY GROWN MEN (nothing sexual thank god).

I know its changed partially at least because my little sister, who is 14, is still in that area and she's always with her friends walking about and they get no trouble whatsoever these days. And believe me - I'd be the first to know lol.

Fortunately, a lot of people have 'woken up' in our generation but there is still a long flipping road to conquer.

You're a good person - I can tell - so don't ever let the negative people infect your aura. I did it once and it caused me some bouts of depression when I was younger. You'll hear this a lot, but its the best advice; rise above it because you can perceive above it.

Oh my, I'd have quite a few comebacks if it were me.

If he calls you specky, you could say, "You mean like the speck that passes for your d***?"

If they call you gay, tell 'em, "At least I can get a woman. Can you?"

You get my drift.

Then there's the classic, "Loser says what?", said softly so that they have to ask, "What?" LOL.

In reality, these are disturbed idiots who can only feel good when they're picking fights with strangers. You can take the high road and realize that they're pathetic, and insulting people walking by is the highlight of their day.

As a woman myself, I've been both ogled and insulted, depending on the person. I can come up with good insults, but the real question is, is it worth it? If the answer is no, then move on and feel sorry for them. But it never hurts to have a few zingers saved up, just in case.

Specky? lol I'll have to remember that for my buddies who wear glasses!

I think young and old do it as a form of bonding to build on the ego. That, or you're one funny lookin' feller. I wouldn't take it to heart, though. And yes, there are some big men who get picked on too. Nobody is safe from it.