judging people by their profession

I rarely reveal my vast experience of work nor my qualification in menial conversation as it is detailed, takes a while and spans a lot of areas of expertise.

When people ask me my job, and I say I am an artist also doing an art degree, they do sometimes have presumptions along the lines of being completely oblivious to my other qualifications and experience over more than 20 years and other accomplishments. Often eliciting the reaction 'oh which kind of art' I reply ''all sorts, painting, drawing, sculpture, ceramics'' as a few examples (a non boastful generalisation, I could add much more impressive specific examples) and get the response of ''oh blah blah my sisters brother in law or whoever is an artist, blah blah they do this that and this''....I didn't ask them if they know any other artists nor care to hear about it.

Similarly I have been directly insulted at other times, replies of such comments as ''Art, now there's a waste of time, you should do a 'proper subject' like Engineering'' (their opinion, not mine) regardless of them knowing nothing of my other qualifications or experience.

People like that I believe are stupid, rude, presumptuous, lacking social skills and unworthy of my conversation so I humour them with small talk and note in my mind their inconsequential nature and unworthiness. There are a whole load of such people on my ''not worthy, best avoided'' list.

If a person asks out of genuine curiosity and reacts in a non judgmental way, that's fine, I sometimes ask it myself as part of general conversation.

introspectionist
You don't seem to get my point.

Oh, I think people DO get your point. It's just that you don't want them to because if they don't, you appear smarter, at least in your own eyes.

It's all about the situation and the mindset of the person who asks.

Or maybe it's about the situation and mindset of the person hearing the question. You are, after all, in a menial job. Why? Because in one way or another you haven't managed to get a better one, one that pays enough to make you proud. Who knows why that is? Maybe you're an itinerant PhD between appointments as an adjunct professor. Or maybe you didn't manage to get yourself an education that qualified you to do more than a robot could do better in your place. So when you are compelled to answer you feel embarrassed. and that angers you enough to blame the person who asks.

People do ask for reasons more than just the weather. They are trying to place you in the social hierarchy to see how useful you are and whether it would be worthwhile to attempt to know you better. Those reasons vary. Maybe you are useful because you have access to something desirable, like agricultural products :-) Perhaps you have a desirable skill. It's not just about "your job." Maybe you're a "struggling writer" or actor looking for his big break and needing a temporary (hopefully) day job. All of this has context that would come out in a conversation should you give it some time. Even your speech patterns type you. Do you speak in an educated manner, or is your speech full of profanity and lower-class dialect? All these things govern people's reactions toward you. And why shouldn't they? Are you a threat or not? People need to know.

Surely you don't buy off on the idea that "everyone is equal!" because, by God, you put your pants on the same way as everyone else! People are NOT equal--never have been and never will be. "Equal" "before the Lord" and an equal "value as a human being." Certainly. Of course. But equal in terms of social position, ability to beat up the next guy because you are physically bigger, or in achievement? Not in your life. It's not going to happen. We're primates. Get over it.

Your whole issue is about YOUR reaction to other people, not their reaction to you.

reply to post by schuyler


Ooohhh. Ow.
That was harsh, schuyler. It helped......how, again?

reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan


This post of yours deserves a comment or two.... or three.

There was a time in my life I had umpteen hundred friends. EVERYONE who I had ever met wanted to be my "friend." Always people wanting to go out to dinner or stop by or call just to say hello. I had more "friends" than most people...

Why? Because I had money... I had the connections they wanted... basically, I was "usable". People who "pretend" to be your friend in order to get something from you, are fake. They are pretentious wannabe's who run around being fake. To be honest, I would rather hang out with the stripper who likes me for who I am, than the store "manager" who has yet to figure out how to be the store owner and is being nice to me in order to figure it out.

The very poor, never want anything from you... I know homeless people who wanted less from me than the pretentious sort.

Do you know why I was jumping up and down screaming when my daughter wanted to run off and get married? Because as an adult, knowing the way people are... I was TERRIFIED that boy my daughter thought she was in love with only wanted to get at her trust fund...

Pretentious people are what is wrong with the world today, and the only people who want to be around them, are the people who want to use them for whatever they can get.

I personally prefer real, those people who are just themselves, who would prefer real friendship and not hope being nice to me means a job or a discount or an introduction to one of my friends.

Depending on the religion, there are also rules for spiritual purity, things that are considered "clean" and "unclean." I doubt that was the situation, but you never know.

Also, you're likely not helping yourself when you talk about your job. Look at how you wrote about it - you called it "menial labor." That description gives it a negative connotation. I don't feel good about you job just form reading about it and am now projecting that you do any sort of job that I would consider nasty and beneath me (and those may not be anything like what you have, FYI).

If you project that sort of attitude when you talk about your work to others, then they will likely pick it up and view it and possibly you the same way.

Try to find some way of projecting, if not pride, then at least dignity about what you do. Dude! It's hard out there right now and lots of us are stuck in the jobs we have, not the ones we would like. I'm guessing that you would find many in these churches or mosques in the same boat if you give it a chance. That, at least, would be a point of commonality to build from.

wildtimes
reply to post by schuyler

 

Ooohhh. Ow.
That was harsh, schuyler. It helped......how, again?

I'm under no illusion it did, but it could have. The issue here is that someone (anyone) comes to ATS with a rant, expresses such rant, then waits for the accompanying affirmations. If everyone agrees with your stance, your self-righteousness about your position is enhanced and you grow stronger in your convictions--even though they may be unjustified.

That's the nature of "co-dependency," and it is rarely good. It doesn't really help anyone get beyond issues. People naturally want to agree with others, not express an opposite viewpoint, so soliciting support actually works often in favor of the complainer. But see it for what it is, an attempt to build up your tribe at the expense of whoever is placed in the position of "bad guy."

\If you had the luxury of coming across this problem alone, with no solicitation for your approval--even by being placed on the opposite side, you could readily see that person X has a personal problem that has nothing to do with someone innocently asking what he does for a living. If he were an MD he wouldn't react that way. If he were in IT he wouldn't react that way. If he was a rocket scientist he wouldn't react that way. But he's in a menial job so he DOES react that way. What's really the issue? He's embarrassed about his job.

But the thing is, he reacts before he knows what the other's reaction is going to be, which proves the point. he won't wait for an answer. If he said to me, "Yeah, I work at McDonalds" I might respond with, "Hey! I worked at Slim's Drive Inn way back when and, man, that sure was a fast=paced job even though it didn't pay worth beans!" And there's a mutual experience and conversation for you. But our OP doesn't let it get that far. He takes offense first.

Rainbowresidue
reply to post by introspectionist

 

Well I think people are interested because sometimes they might need help with something and wonder whether you could help them.

Possibly, but I think there are some people who seek reasons to feel better and above others to justify their insecurities and enjoy it when they are told someone does something they can look down on.

I like to play mind games with those who look down on me. I am modest about my many talents which proves fun at times.

reply to post by schuyler


No, you do not understand where I'm coming from.

But whatever... I'm oh so happy to have you, my oh so mature, experienced and intelligent big brother to tell me about the real world...

facepalm