Did I meet this guy for a reason?

Met this dude in middle school and the first day i ever saw him we were both wearing band shirts of bands we liked so we complimented each other and hugged. I didn't learn his name until years later, for privacy I'll call him D in this story.
I switched middle schools and went into a therapy group where I met a girl who is now my best friend and told me about a guy who she was really good friends with that she was in highschool with. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go back to going to the schools in my town but she convinced me that the high school would be better than the middle school, so when that time came, i started going to the high school.
I met the guy last summer. It turns out all along the boy she had been talking about had been D all along. I thought it was just a weird coincidence at the time.
This summer I moved to a new house. My friend (I'll call her M) had told me the boy lived close by after she came to the house for the first time. I thought nothing of it.
I started talking to D and we found out that we have a lot in common. We exchanged blog URLs and once in a while would say something to each other.
Some days I'd be walking on the street and a car would stop and D would get out of the car and ask me if he could walk with me during the summer.
I asked him for advice on addiction. I was an alcoholic, still kinda recovering, and he has done more drugs than i've even heard of.
Some days I'd be over a guy-friends house and he'd show up. During september school started and once and a while we would exchange words, but no real conversation because we made each other nervous.
I went to a gathering in the city at the end of september and I was just hanging with my friends when guess who I see in the crowd? Him. Staring at me, shocked. We both are confused but we hug, exchange words and part ways.
During october, I ask him if he wants to hang out. We walk around the neighborhood and get to know each other. Later we discuss how strange it was that the first time we really hang out is during a full moon.
He began texting me. He sent me a poem from Dante's Inferno. It went like this:
'Do not desert me,' said I, 'thus undone;
And if the going farther be denied us,
Let us retrace our steps together swiftly.’
And that Lord, who had led me thitherward,
Said unto me:
‘Fear not; because our passage
None can take from us, it by such is given.
But here await me, and thy weary spirit
Comfort and nourish with a better hope;
For in this nether world
I will not leave thee.’
”
Dante Alighieri’s Inferno, Canto VIII Line 100

In November, during a free block, he asked me if I had a free block. We walked around the school and he said "i look like a bum today." five minutes later some girls from the yearbook club asked to take a picture of him for the fashion column. he suggested that we hang out later that day. We did. We lied under the stars on pavement and discussed things. It was cold so we hugged often to keep warm. He pulled me along on his skateboard. I almost went inside of his house but I had to go home since it was 9 PM by then. He walked me home. On thursday he sat next to me while we did our work during skills, but we didnt talk.
My question is, did I meet this guy for a reason? Because I feel like I did. I feel like knowing him is an important thing in my life. His vibe is so different than anyone else's.

Sounds like you have met a kindered spirit, you'll always know by the feeling you describe, and a familiarity like unto yourself.

The few folks like this I have encountered were strong forces in my life.

Cheers.

reply to post by TheBlueShiroux


You know, I feel we all have guardian angels who usher people into our lives covertly to help us, heal us, love us, little match makers sometimes, they are. This person is in your life for a reason. Live, learn and love.

Please don't sell your soul to the Devil !!! You have more worth than you will ever know.

TheBlueShiroux
It made me paranoid that somehow he knew that a few weeks ago I had sold my soul to satan.

It was an interesting tale, until...

reply to post by truthseeker84


Don't worry.
I'm not a satanist.
I'm actually the opposite now.
I've been going to bible studies and praying recently.

reply to post by DaphneApollo


I know that now. Thank you.

I think there is a pretty good possibility everyone comes into our life for a reason.

Learn what you can, and it seems you have turned away from "dangerous" pursuits.

reply to post by TheBlueShiroux


Theres probably no other reason you met him other then complex and subtle human social interaction stuff, checking each other out and its called liking each other. Some people fall in love and are boyfriend and girlfriend, some people get married and have kids. It seems you are quite young so I wouldnt rush into anything. And dont fall victim to bad influences, like when you say this guy has done lots of drugs, that doesnt sound to cool. You were probably mutually attracted to one another, judging each others books by the covers, and then it seems you got to know one another at least a little better, cuddling under stairs and all, it seems like you both are struggling from an issue known as 'y u no jus talk and be honest with one another about what you are thinking and feeling'? Dont be scared, take time, start out just building a friendship, if it turns out to be mutually more then that, then see where that goes. Be safe and smart. Guys especially that age are mostly dogs looking to get 'plaid'. Use your better judgement and dont be taken advantage of, emotionally, intellectually, physically. First things first honesty and building a friendship, there is no rush, talk with him, chat with him, he obviously likes you and is probably 'if he is behaving as it seems he is' is more nervous to talk to you then you are with him. You are very pretty, that could have something to do with it.

reply to post by ImaFungi


thank you. you are probably right. i just wish i knew when the right time to tell him how i feel is.

reply to post by TheBlueShiroux


Just wait for a lull in the conversation and start talking about it. Simple! Though, perhaps not easy..

TheBlueShiroux
reply to post by ImaFungi

 

thank you. you are probably right. i just wish i knew when the right time to tell him how i feel is.

Well how do you feel? Is there such thing as taking things slow or may that be an appropriate idea, or are you afraid if you dont claim him and mark him as your territory he may become someone elses? Which means for some tweeny reasons unbeknownst to me, you love him? How often do you talk with him, how close are you, you have his phone number and text? Are you in the same school? Do you have any multiples of online social network connections to chat with him? How comfortable can you speak with him, it sounded like you get pretty close and comfy, being a guy myself I can understand your frustration because usually its the guys move to ask out the girl...but I cant say I would ever mind if a girl came straight out and said she liked me, and/or wanted to be friends, and/or see if we wanted to be more then friends possibly in due time. Though now you can catch a glimpse of how tough it is for the guy, because you fear rejection, or losing whatever you currently have and having it replaced with pure awkwardness, but thats about the worst that can happen, and if he makes you feel awkward how cool could he have really been to begin with? Ease into it, deep breath, one step at a time, first things first. Sorry if any of this seemed bratty, I just had some coffee so a burst of energy and uncontrollable typing. This is my complete honest perspective, and as you are part of the ats family, I am only looking to help ya out. I am also curious so keep us updated if you want!

reply to post by ImaFungi


I have his phone number and text. We like each others facebook posts often, if that means anything.
We are in the same school. His friends have been very nice to me lately. Sometimes during his free blocks he stays in my skills class. I don't know if I love him or not. Every time I think about him, I feel what can only be described as a positive kind of anxiety. It's like an adrenaline rush. When he texts me I feel like I'm reading poetry. When he talks to me it gives me the same feeling as when I listen to EDM. When he hugs me I stop thinking and cannot feel anything but peace and happiness. Being with him feels so right.
Also, on a side-note, the moment I started typing this response, I got a notification that he liked my facebook status.

reply to post by TheBlueShiroux


Hm, very interesting. Do you know what you want out of this? Its as simple as this;either you have some idea and/or plan of what you want, relationship wise with him, and then you pursue it, not sketchily and knivingly but honestly and caringly. Or you dont know what you want and then....then what happens? I dont know, because anything or nothing can happen, you will just be waiting for things to work themselves out. Which I guess is the girl perspective I was never privy to. "I like this guy, guess I gotta wait to see what happens". The guy version is "I like this girl...oh darn what am I gonna do and how am I gonna do it". Everyone does it differently, some people have more confidence then others, some people dont want a relationship with people that like them. It definitely appears as if there is flirting going on between you to, but noone is making a move. How long has this been going on between you two, texting and facebooking? Do you actually like him, or do you like the idea of him, other girls think hes cool and hot and you want him like you want an accessory because you think it will make you cooler and feel better and happy, or do you actually like him, if noone else existed he is the guy you want to spend your time with and be with and around? Sorry that may be a bad question, I have no clue about your maturity level or much about you and your personal and world view at all so Im just shooting from the hip. I guess we wouldnt be having this convo and you wouldnt have made this thread if you didnt 'like' him more then friends. Because it seems you are already friends, and if you were content and satisfied being just friends you would have no worries or problems, because you would be able to talk to him openly and honestly about anything, as that is what friends ought be able to do. So the whole situation is, does he want to be more then friends with you ya? So how to go about that, well either you can wait and do nothing. Or you have to make the move "Is there anyone in our school you like"?, you know if he has a girlfriend or not or 'gets' with girls? I just thought of a potentially better and more romantic way, but has potentially higher risk of being awkward... next time your hanging out with him, like when you were laying with him would have been perfect for this, ugh this is so hard to explain...have you even ever kissed a guy before? if so, and without a formal invitation, you may note that there are many nuances and subtleties and sign and mood and vibe detection, trial and error, it commonly begins with an attempt to hold hands, if that works, your in for the kill, just have to work up through the steps, a guys gotta like you to walk around or even stand still or sit down and hold your hand. Maybe I will learn some more in your next response.

reply to post by ImaFungi


Something strange happened last night. Let's refer to this guy as H.
I was laying in bed trying to sleep and the only guy I've ever kissed messaged me on facebook and suggested that me and him start over as friends. He explained and apologized for acting like an asshole the last time we talked.
It's a very long story as to why things got #ed up between me and him. Very long story. But it's both due to the fact that we were abusing substances and we both didn't handle them that well with our feelings for each other. Also I yelled at him because I found out he had a girlfriend when he kissed me.
It took me months to get over this guy. He's a musician. He's charming. A funny guy too. But he was a player. And now that I like D, I'm not really sure about anything. I don't know why but i feel like I don't like D as much as I did before I talked to H. But then again I haven't talked to D since saturday.
By the way, would it be helpful if I gave you the links to D's and mine's blogs so you can track whats going on and if you have questions about things on it you can ask me?

reply to post by TheBlueShiroux


I dont know about presenting your blogs here, thats quite personal and I dont know if you want me or anyone on ats to be able to snoop around on it. But about the development in your drama, I dont know what to say, lol. These arent decisions I or anyone else can make for you, its your life to live, you seem like a nice person and you are young, so just be careful and safe and take things slow, imo there are/should be more important things in your life at this age then boys, and if you were focused on them you wouldnt be having any drama here, you would be in control of the situation instead of being so hung up with it. But if the serious stuff is taken care of and you want tome extra curricular activities (like a boy friend, or a boy thats a friend) then who am I to tell you not to pursue, and this is the struggle to strive to enter the most positive and best relationship for yourself. If you just wanted to be friends with these guys, im sure you have friends so you know how care free and simple that can be. Since there is any drama at all can I assume you are searching for a 'more then friends' boy? Perhaps H truly missed you and wanted to contact, perhaps hes matured since last you guys were hanging, maybe he has no girlfriend anymore and is lonely. You say you like D less (the way your chasing these guys doesnt sound like it...bad joke) now that H has contacted you, most likely because youve actually had a relationship and comfortability with H and you do not know D as well. You got over H, but idk if you specified but has a lot of time passed since you have not been with him? If so maybe he changed for the better, and is ready to respect himself and you. You think he might be the guy you like the best and so its surprising that the guy you thought you liked the best loses intrigue when you are contacted by a previous guy. We are all equipped with tools of judgement, appearance, character, personality, and other potentially more complex and abstract things like quirks we find attractive or habits. I cant tell you which one is better for you or which one you should like more, this is something you have to think about and experience and decide on your own. It was complicated before with just 1 guy, now theres 2...sheesh. Good luck. Instead of making things complicated, simplify everything, leave whats most important, and then from there remove whats least important, and focus on whats important, and then your life choices are up to you, because its you who they will affect.

reply to post by TheBlueShiroux


You are young and sounds like from this post you like whoever shows interest in you.

The guy that kissed you while having a girlfriend... you think it will be suddenly different if you become his girlfriend? Sadly, there are many people in this world that don't care if a guy/girl is in a relationship.

reply to post by TheBlueShiroux


Hello,

I like your new avatar, very nice.

Is this the same guy you ask me to give you a Tarot reading on back in April?

Please talk to him already about how you feel about him. If the feelings are mutual, he will confess too, and all is well when it ends well.

And if he doesn't feel the same way, at least you will finally have closure and can move on.
It's really not healthy in my opinion to be obsessed with him for so long and not do anything.
(I'm sorry, I know it's a harsh word but it's what it is.)

You are a young, and nice lady, you deserve to be happy.

Just my humble two cents.

PS: I gave you a star and a flag for having the courage to post this , it must have been hard.
I think you will see that a lot of ATS members are willing to help and offer advice.

reply to post by Rainbowresidue

No, it's a different guy. The guy I asked you about back then did in fact like me and wanted to be with me, but by the time he asked me out I was kind of more interested in H and not at all interested in him.

reply to post by ImaFungi

I really don't try to chase guys. Believe me, if I could have an off-switch for having crushes on boys, I would use it. But sadly I don't. I'm human, not to mention a teenage girl.

reply to post by TheBlueShiroux


Oh ok then.
Then just go for it.

I met this really shy but hot guy at a house party once. He just sat on the couch alone, and looked tired and out of place (He had just gotten there from work, his friends dragged him there, he doesn't like loud music/parties.) So for the first time in my life, I made the first move and brought him a drink, and we started talking.

Well I've been married to him for 6 years now.

Ps: I don't like loud music and noisy parties, but my friends dragged me there too. It turns out they thought we'd make a great match, how right they were!