I'm sorry, but I'm not your father.

Morning all. I am posting this today as I need to get this out . Back on the 3rd of October I received a letter from a young man of about 35 years old. He told me in the letter that he beleived I was his father. In the letter was a photograph of me when I was about 16 or 17 years old. Accompanying the letter was another letter his mother had written to him, telling him the man who he thought was his father was not and that I was the next best choice to be the father. I was stunned, shocked, rocked, shaken & stirred. And very scared. If I was the dad. How would I break all this to my kids, my son & daughter, not to mention my wife and step-kids. Confused was the word. How could she just never tell me?

The woman in this is deceased, the young man got this letter after she passed. She lived across the street from us when she was young, we were very good friends. Friends at that age to where you experiment with being adults. As in unprotected sex. For about two tears she & I were together about all the time, I mean she lived right across the street. Then POOF one day they had moved away. I never knew why, I never knew where. I never in all these years received any letters or phone calls. I just wrote it off as being the way it was.

On October the 13th I meet this young man. I knew right away I was not the mans dad. We talked and exchanged pleasantries, then he asked if I would take a DNA test, he said I dont want anything from you if you are my dad, I just want to know who my dad is. He told me it was more than obvious that I never knew anything about his mom being pregnant. He told me the man that was married to his mom, did'nt stay around and do the dad thing. He said " he knew he was not my dad".

I agreed to the test, the results are in and the outcome just brings more questions. I am not his father. He was shaken with this news, to be honest I was as well. From the minute I laid eyes on this young man, I thought I know who your dad is ( as in he looks just like him) Another friend of ours who lived two doors down from me. He died in 1998. I felt compelled to help this man out. I contacted the relatives, and asked if they would submit to a DNA test. Only one would agree, his older brother. The rest of the family, was extremley upset. Upset with me, upset with him, and upset with the brother who agreed to the test.

I was informed last night that he was the youngmans dad, about a 99,67 percent chance. Problem being his new found family wants nothing to do with him. And they let him know that fact in no uncertain terms. You see folks, the one thing Ive left out of all this is the fact that she was black & I am white. The young man is black, and the dads family is just backward arse folks who live in the past. We talked last night for over an hour, I let him know things about his mom he never knew, he let me know the pregnancy was why they moved away. He asked how I could be so different than his dads, family. I said if you ever had meet my parents you would understand why I am the way I am.

I let him know I could be his friend and be there if he ever needed me. So, my new friend and his wife & daughter will be sharing Christmas with me and my family this year. My kids are awesome. I told my son prior to telling any one else, he said, " when do we get to meet our brother dad" and then he said, " He 'll be a damn lucky man if your his dad. It brought tears to my eyes that my son felt this way. I want lie to this man, he wants to know about his dad. I told him, some things, some things need to remain un-said. His dad drank himself to death.

You see folks back in the day, it was damn taboo for a young white kid & a young black girl to be an item or even close friends. I was rasied to treat all folks the same, black folks, white folks,, brown folks, all the same . Good and bad in all races. Find the good, leave the bad alone. Treat folks the way you want to be treated. Her family was much the same way. Her dad was an intimidating figure. Her mom was a saint. In a small way I wished I was his dad, at least I could give him the dad things he did'nt get growing up. He is a fine young man, been in the military, has a daughter, been married to the same woman for 18 years, great job, a real fine young man. I hope I did the right thing by this man and his family. I feel I did, but at the same time. I want to do more. I will have a very merry christmas this year. as in I am putting up a tree, no way a 10 year old in coming into my house on Christmas day and there be no tree!!

We have bought presents and I plan on giving him one of my most prized firearms. He can keep it or sell it for his childs education. I normally do not do the Christmas thing, but this year I have the itch and the cause. Three new people I can call....extended family. Whether they are or not. Have a great Christmas ATS, I know I will. Peace OYM1262

Great story.

Thank you for sharing.

reply to post by openyourmind1262


That truly is a great story indeed. That filled my heart up with warmth because what you are doing is just so very upstanding and kind on your part. We need more kindness and love in this world.

I would be proud to shake your hand sir.

I wish you and your family and your new extended family the best Christmas.
Peace and love to you all ~~~>>>
Merry Christmas.

reply to post by openyourmind1262


I am wondering why at your age you would be scared or stirred to find out you were the father? Just curious.
Great story!

reply to post by openyourmind1262

Thank you very much for sharing this story. It has spoken to a part of my life, and brought back some memories I guess I've tried hard to forget. Maybe now was the time to remember. S&F.

Shocked that he decided to look for his dad after 35 yrs. Must have sucked growing up the way he did. At least he is doing good in life.

reply to post by Staroth


What would your reaction be? I'm 51 and this is my way way way back past. I dont know any man that would'nt be a little shaken.

reply to post by Klassified


I hope your memories are good ones. I hope you have a great Christmas. As much as we would like, we can't escape our past. Only improve upon our future.

openyourmind1262
reply to post by Staroth

 

What would your reaction be? I'm 51 and this is my way way way back past. I dont know any man that would'nt be a little shaken.

I am 52 and would have been shaken also.
Great story.

reply to post by openyourmind1262


Yeah, 55 here, and still having babies. My wife and I have one due Feb. 24th. Great story and I would hope to react the same way you did.

Oh and it would indeed shake me up to find that kind of thing out after all those years!

You're a good man with a good soul, sir. Thank you for sharing your wonderful story.

Very good story. So the guy is becoming part of the family now. Nothing wrong with that, you don't have to be related to be part of a family.

reply to post by openyourmind1262


I feel honored even to be reading this amazing story.

Thanks for sharing.


RT

What a wonderful man to include him in your family. Poor guy has been through enough all these years not knowing who his real father was. Merry Christmas!

reply to post by openyourmind1262


A beautiful story, one of the first posts I read here while starting my day. Thanks to you, this day is off to a better start than I expected. Very much in the spirit of the Holiday Season. Thank you, Sir.

You are a class act OP.

We have an incredible desire to know where we came from.

Thanks for being there for this young man...

OP, youre one of the Good Guys

My own father has/had a kid on the West Coast somewhere that came about during Vietnam when he was enlisted and was in San Diego. Ive never been able to find him. Family secrets back in the day were ridiculous.. different times I guess.

I would think anyone would be happy, extremely happy to find out there was a part of their deceased son still alive and well no matter what color he was.

I would want to get to know everything about him and meet my grandkids and or nieces and nephews.

great story op

alienjuggalo
I would think anyone would be happy, extremely happy to find out there was a part of their deceased son still alive and well no matter what color he was.

I would want to get to know everything about him and meet my grandkids and or nieces and nephews.

great story op

edit on 17-12-2013 by alienjuggalo because: (no reason given)

This is what is so painful about the story. I have my own stories that Ill save you from having to read, relating to my stepson and his grandparents. But to know that someone would turn their head at a family member because of race, religion, sexual orientation, etc....it is among the most disgusting things I can think of.

A new baby in a family is a gift to be celebrated. Just because you were there 35 years prior for their birth...you still have a gift to be celebrated. OYM2012 has, at least more than once to me, shown himself to be of a fiber of character that I just don't find that often in this world. At least HE knows how to celebrate new family, even if that family isn't genetically related.

reply to post by openyourmind1262

Great story and I agree that you are one of the good guys. But I say that with a bit of cynicism...sorry. It's probably too soon in your relationship to be giving him a prized possession, especially a firearm.

Also both parents are deceased at a fairly young age. The father who was prepossessed to drink and what do you know about the mother and how she passed away? A similar fate as the father or something else?

We know that genetics do play a part in our health, both physical and mental. Just be careful and don’t let your emotions get the best of you. Do some research first.

If everything pans out, then by all means, welcome him into a extended family.