Escape from Christian Fundamentalism - the Kids Who Flee Abusive, Isolated Christian Homes

reply to post by wildtimes


I went to public school as did my wife. I was in the military and have lived all over the USA. I have a degree in Architecture from Boston Architectural. My wife has a degree in business from the University of New Hampshire. We have our own business and own five patents.

now here is where it gets crazy......we are .....wait for it...... everyone run for cover.....Christian.

I said it....we believe in some "crazy guy in the sky".....I know, I know.....how could educated people that are successful believe in such a crazy thing but it gets worse....my wife.....get this....my wife and I decided to have her stay home and take an active roll in our three boys upbringing. Haha!....right!?.....foolishness!!!

But that's not all.....it gets worse.....we....it's hard for me to even say....we....we...we home school. Oh God help us.....I said it out loud but I am crying on the floor.....I feel like such an idiot. I mean, my kids can all speak, read and write English, Latin and Greek and are starting on Spanish, Italian and French. They are all at least one year ahead in math and history. They are all in Tang Soo Do and Jujitsu. They all race motocross and my oldest is about to start training for his private pilots license.

Everyone that meet my kids say how great they are and how mature and how easily they make friends.....but it still gets worse.....we teach them about God and the bible......I know, I know....we should be put in prison!!!! well.....or at least the public school system.

I hope my sarcasm came through ok.....

there are bad parents everywhere and even in the Christian homeschooling community ..... and there are good ones...... even in the home schooling community.

Nothing to see here......move along

I'm a Christian mom with young kids... I have to admit I couldn't read many stories. The heartbreak of reading about child abuse is too much for me right now. I'll try to go back and read more later.

We teach what we believe to our kids, as do all parents with any level of involvement with their kids, really. Faith is central in my life, and my husbands life... so, naturally, it is a part of our children's lives as well. Ultimately, though, our children are going to be on their own faith journey. I want them to ask questions. (And they ask many!) I would never want my children to have a blind faith. I don't want them to be afraid to question, to study, to doubt.

The isolate and brainwash method is not at all what (I believe) God wants for His children. He reveals himself to all who seek Him with an open heart. This sort of brainwashing described by some homeschoolers is robbing the children of the opportunity to seek Him with an open heart. It might start with the best of intentions, but as the link your provided proves, it can easily cross a line and backfire in a tragic way.

I would certainly report child abuse of I ever saw or suspected it. But, I've never seen that in any homeschooling families I know. So I guess my question is - what can be done about it? How can I help?

reply to post by UxoriousMagnus

Maybe you didn't read everything Wild said:

Please note the disclaimer: Homeschooling can be a useful educational tool in the hands of the right parents, but when it falls into the hands of the wrong parents the results can be disastrous, and it is the children who suffer.

I have a fundamentalist background. I also have first hand experience with the kind of people Wild is referring to. You may not be among them, but believe it. They are out there.

Dear Lord! I must abusive without even realizing it.

I am Christian.

I am seriously considering homeschooling.

Why? Because I no longer trust the public schools to actually teach a child to think logically or critically. Instead, they indoctrinate. Many kids coming out public school can barely read and write, let alone do basic math. I just can't understand why any parent would want their child in that sort of education system.

But of course, you know better. I just want to abuse my child. Thanks for clearing that up.

reply to post by UxoriousMagnus


Well, I'm happy for you, and I, too, stayed home to raise my kids; but I didn't "officially" homeschool them.

There is plenty to see here...and you telling people to "move along" is detrimental. THERE ARE abusive fundamental Christian homeschoolers who are damaging their kids. You are obviously not one (two) of them. So, why not join the battle to STOP them? If you are a thinking Christian, then surely you can see how an abusive situation is ... well, abusive.

You aren't bringing your kids up like a Fundamentalist Send-'Em-To-Jesus-Camp person? Glad to hear it. More power to you.

reply to post by wildtimes

A confession. She says she CHOSE to do those abusive things rather than defy her husband.

A man she describes herself as being "eccentric" (in other words, mental).

reply to post by ketsuko


LOL!!

Yeah, I knew I'd get all sorts of push-back and accusations of "saying all homeschoolers are bad." LOOK at the disclaimers I posted. I am NOT saying "all homeschoolers are bad." Not by a long shot.

There is nothing wrong with GOOD home-schooling. I never said YOU were going to abuse your kids. I am pointing out that there is a huge problem for young adults who WERE raised by Fundamentalist Christian Homeschoolers.

Good luck to you in your parenting!

This is absolutely appalling.
I was aware there were clutches of fundamentalists, but nothing on this scale.

I'm overwhelmed with wonder how this practice to this scale could be left to fester and grow as it's done.
(note: my commentary is on the Fundamentalist Religious aspect of this, and not homeschooling with proper contemporary educational materials)

I too am relieved this institution built within it an architecture that led to this outspoken rebellion from former inmates to this institution as they can certainly do much more in bringing about oversight, regulation, and accountability than anyone attempting to do so entirely from the outside.

sweetstuff
reply to post by Deetermined

 

Fundamentalism breeds mental illness, of that D, I can assure you.

I agree.

It's a wonder so many survivors of this system have wits enough left above and beyond certain near pathological guilt complexes drilled and programmed into them to focus resolve enough to give voice and resistance to this abhorrent practice.

The way the girls enslaved to this system are trapped into submissive roles for the sole purpose of becoming baby maker slaves, cowed into a property of men mindset through the betrothal system attached to this practice is entirely repugnant, nauseating, disgusting, and intolerable.

Hillbilly123069
reply to post by wildtimes

 

Interesting all the stories Jesus is getting blamed for. I have to dig to find kids getting honor killed as muslims. That's an everyday thing in most arab countries. Along with the beating/rape/imprisonment by the gov of children/women that open their mouths to speak or don't wear a head cover outside. Very interesting indeed, Mr Wildtimes. Im curious why you want to focus on a religion that says to forgive despite those in power perverting the Gospel rather than a religion that teaches intolerance that is soon to be a problem in every corner of the globe. You are aware muslims are exempt from obamacare?
Picture is a little bigger than you comprehend.

Every verified instance of an honor killing in this country has been front page news so you must be talking about in foreign countries?

Im curious why you want to focus on a religion that says to forgive despite those in power perverting the Gospel rather than a religion that teaches intolerance that is soon to be a problem in every corner of the globe.

The most ironic thing about this statement is how obviously intolerant you are.

You are aware muslims are exempt from obamacare?

You're not very well informed apparently.

Factcheck.org
Snopes
Politifact
and another source
and another one

edit on 9-12-2013 by theantediluvian because: (no reason given)

reply to post by Deetermined

A man she describes herself as being "eccentric" (in other words, mental).

Right, and who 'persuaded her' to ALLOW HERSELF to become "mental" and abuse her kids. Like sweetstuff said (and Klass), Fundamentalism breeds mental illness.

You think those kids are fine? Just because she didn't start out "mental"? It's too late now for her to undo it.
HIS fundamentalism led to THEIR CHILDREN being abused. Abuse causes mental illness. (So do other things, like physiological imbalances in the brain).

reply to post by AliceBleachWhite


Thanks, Alice, for contributing.
Yes, I think there are lots of people who are actually unaware of this tragic and abhorrent stuff going on in American homes with little to no "oversight". And it's up to the rest of us (and their escaped kids) to stop the cycle.

I would like to add that fundamentalism breeds mental illness throughout generations as abusive behavior is passed from one generation to the next. You are isolated from outside help and tainted that all non-believers are evil, part of Satan's wicked system. Everyone is labelled, in my personal experience, all non Jehovah's Witnesses were 'worldly people' not in the sense of well read and travelled but as wicked. I was taught that JW's were god's chosen people, everyone else would die at Armageddon as they were unfit to live in the paradise earth under Jesus's rule. (Yeah that sounds fun, eternal life with endless church meetings and judgmental people, yippey!)

If you leave the cult, you are to be shunned, and can be labelled an Apostate if you speak out against the cult, the summer convention of JW's had a talk which called apostates aka anyone who speaks out against the abuse and or dogma of the cult, venomous vipers feasting at the table of demons and part of the physical Anti-Christ. Now how can anyone say that kind of hate speech does not promote and breed mental illness?

Those within the cult are told to shun even their own children, parents, husbands and wives, etc., if they leave "Jehovah" because to leave the cult is to turn your back on God as they are the ONLY true religion. Color me crazy but I can see how that not only rifts families apart but does indeed induce mental illness and trauma.

Every cult has these characteristics, they lure people in with love and kindness then lay down the hammer of complete obedience via a constant program of fear and terror. Add seperation from family and no support system outside the cult and you have a recipe for creating mental illness in the most stable individual with no mental disorder. For children born into these cults, there is NO where to turn and your worldview is tainted from the get go, your perception of all outside the cult is skewed.

I've known of people who've committed suicide after losing their entire families because they realized it wasn't for them. I've known families who've turned on a sexually abused child for bring "shame on Jehovah's name" (what a joke that is, how can humans shame god?) by coming out with the abuse or taking the abuser to court. Big no no in jw land. You hush up, shut up and suffer. To say that fundamentalism doesn't cause mental illness is ridiculous.


A mental disorder may be something a person is born with, but mental illness does indeed occur through trauma and terror and abuse inflicted upon those raised in fundamental cults. Warping a person's perspective on reality will induce mental imbalance. Terrorizing a person via conditioning and programming and/or abuse will create mental illness.

Fear breeds mental illness and abuse and cults are all about that bag of tricks.

reply to post by wildtimes

HIS fundamentalism led to THEIR CHILDREN being abused. Abuse causes mental illness.

His mental illness led to their children being abused. Abuse may lead to mental illness in others, but it doesn't start with fundamentalism. It starts with mental illness. That's been my point all along.

reply to post by VegHead

Hi, thanks for your post.
We can make lots of noise, and vote AGAINST the wanna-be power-mongers who promote this sort of thing.

The New Apostolic Reformation (NARwatch has a facebook page) and the Seven Mountain Dominionists; people like Palin, Bachmann, Gingrich, Santorum, Perry, and others are dangerous. They want this country to become a Fundamentalist Christian Theocracy. The "Seven Mountains" they want to dominate (truly, they aren't kidding):

family
education
business
media
arts/entertainment
religion
government

Dominionism and The Religious Right: The Merger Is Complete
SUBMITTED BY Kyle Mantyla on Tuesday, 7/6/2010 10:34 am
For weeks now I have been writing regular posts on the increasing intersection between the "mainstream" Religious Right and Dominionist prophetic intercessors like Lou Engle, Cindy Jacobs, Rick Joyner and others.

But I have always been careful to note that just because the more "mainstream" leaders have been joining forces with these self-proclaims prophets and apostles, it didn't mean that they necessarily shared their Dominionist agenda.

But I think it is fair to say that I no longer need to be so careful, as the leaders of the Religious Right have now openly embraced Seven Mountains Dominionist theology, which is described thusly:

First, human beings are blessed by God. Secondly, these blessed human beings are given a mandate to take dominion of the earth for the purpose of blessing it. ... The first advent of Christ was for the purpose of creating a blessed seed upon the earth - the church. The second coming of Jesus will take place after this blessed seed has completed the Dominion Process upon the earth by making disciples of all nations.

In short, Dominionist theology believes that Christians are called to take "dominion" over every aspect of our culture and use them to create God's kingdom on Earth in order to bring about the return of Jesus Christ. And their method for gaining "dominion" is through something called the "Seven Mountains Mandate," which seeks to place Christians at the top of seven distinct spheres that shape our culture: (1) Business; (2) Government; (3) Media; (4) Arts and Entertainment; (5) Education; (6) Family; and (7) Religion.

- See more at: www.rightwingwatch.org...

It's a little like the chicken and the egg conundrum.


Fundamentalism in any religion seems to draw those who need or want a strict, rigid, legalist, lifestyle. Yet at the same time, it has a profound effect on those who are indoctrinated into it, that were not seeking it out. In my opinion, this creates a vicious circle, that is never-ending.

Extreme fundamentalism is like ritual abuse and brainwashing used in cults. However, there is a much more liberal side to fundamentalism which takes a more legalistic view without the extremes associated with the former.

I don't think those who believe in God are at risk of mental illness. It is those who use God as an excuse to force everyone else to be as they are, that have a real problem. Once your belief system requires the conversion and control of others, you are in violation of other peoples right to choose their own destiny.

This was very hard to read. It brought back flashbacks.

I was raised in a very religious home by parents that were faithful to two corrupted books: The bible and "to train up a child". Also, I went to a private christian school that also did not like to "spare the rod". At school, I was frequently spanked with a paddle, and at home, I was frequenly whipped with a belt (note: not spanked. The belt was never folded over, nor was the target the buttocks) as well as other painfully abusive punishments.

I ended up leaving home at sixteen years old. My parents deny any wrongdoing or abuse to this day.

It breaks my heart to know that a child of any home, religious or otherwise, has to go through abuse from the people that they should be able to trust more than anyone else ... especially if it's for some roundabout sociopathic logic that somehow it would make them a better person.

reply to post by Deetermined

Abuse may lead to mental illness in others, but it doesn't start with fundamentalism. It starts with mental illness.

Again, tell it to the survivors. An abusive Fundamentalist upbringing CAUSES MENTAL ILLNESS and NEUROSIS.

If a young child is beaten by "Fundamentalist parents" - and at the same time indoctrinated to believe that they will go to hell if they don't 'agree' with their parents - they WILL BE MENTALLY ILL.

And those who are drawn to "Fundamentalism", well, they already have either been indoctrinated from early childhood, or they were 'mental' to begin with.

Do you honestly not see how family systems work in cycles? There are HUNDREDS of stories on the web about people who were reared this way, and became abusive parents themselves. It's NOT HEALTHY.

reply to post by sweetstuff


Yes, I just posted something to the same effect.

It becomes a 'family' disorder, passed down through generations. Excellent points, and thanks for making them.

reply to post by wildtimes


The only people who use or misinterpret fundamentalism as a means of isolation or isolating/controlling others is mental to begin with. Like I said, mental illness breeds mental illness.

reply to post by Deetermined


And fundamentalism (almost always) breeds more fundamentalism....which breeds mental illness. It's as clear as it can be.