reply to post by Winged-Sphinx
Based on what I'm reading, I'm picking up the following points from her end.
1. Because of the fact that her BF's mom treated her better, she has a sense of loyalty to her BF.
2. Based on this, she also probably had everything planned out early on. For example, she probably "had" her life in order - a "perfect" guy, job,
car, you name it.
3. It's possible that something has soured in her current relationship, or she fell in with
that guy (You know, the kind of guy that could rip
you to pieces with just a stare), both of which would make it awkward at the least to break it off. Or, she could have fallen with someone that
practically pays for everything (ever seen
Sweet Home Alabama? Disregard the fact that I'm a guy, and was forced to watch it). Or, it is also
quite possible that you remind her so much of her current BF; both you and him probably have the same traits - it's just that you might have more in
some spots that he doesn't (NOTE: Meant this in a PG-13 manner
).
The part about where she gets jealous about the other girls seems natural (at least among my friends, who are around the same age as you). Even if
you've been put in the "friend zone", you'll find that people you don't even like seem to lay a claim to you (almost as if by bring up the
person, you are comparing this friend to them).
As for what you should do:
1. Give her some time to think it over, which it looks like you were planning on. This can backfire though - She may think it over and decide that
it's not the best (first time my heart got broken was because I told her to think it over - She did, and my best friend made the cut
).
2. Don't pester her about it during that time - She needs to get her own thoughts in line before dealing with the extra pressure.
3. If she "jumps ship" and comes to you, there are two things that I would be worried about:
-The new EX.
-That you didn't end up picking a "crazy one".
Let me clarify: My guess is that you spend a lot of time around her at work, and a good chunk of time after work. What I would be cautious about is
that you are only seeing
part of her, and not the whole picture. The fact that she is obsessing over you, when still in a committed
relationship is a little unnerving as well - Imagine how her BF would feel if he knew (or maybe he does - you can only hold in a obsession for so long
before it comes to the surface).
4. What it may come down to is you have to ask her to chose: Be in a relationship with me, or stay in your existing one. If she picks you, make sure
you aren't on a "friends with benefits" plan - Make sure that she breaks it off with her current BF.
If it were me, I would've been flattered that someone could even obsess over me, but I also wouldn't pursue it (they are in a relationship, and I
figure that if said lady friend wants to be with me, then she would break it off, and come over to the dark side).
Good Luck though!
-fossilera