an apology

I grew up bullied and picked on. I usually had no more than one or two friends at a time. In general I have been a day dreamer. I grew up poor and my life has pretty well been nothing but a mess. However, I now have come to a greater understanding of my life or at least that is what my hope is. Because I was a failure at the world's game I tried to create my own. I studied occult literature and eventually got into conspiracy theories. My point is this, in the end, all of it just led to further ruin. My mind worsened to the point that even what I once could do I eventually became so paranoid and delusional that my ideas and words were almost nothing but fantastic and absurd.

So, I ask your forgiveness for the things I've said on this site and the things that I've shared. I would delete my profile and my posts if it were possible but it is not from what I understand. For me, life no longer is any of these things on this site. The real conspiracy was always the worry and belief in conspiracy itself and the real truth of life wasn't in deep study and interpretation of symbols and great knowledge but rather a respect and obedience to the life that is right in front of me every day. I no longer want to live in distant lands and idealistic dreams but in the world I can touch and feel. It is today I live in and the ground beneath me is the ground I stand on. I do not say this for anyone else, I no longer feel like I have some profound means of which I can share new perspective with others. In fact I realize just how very little I know and understand and I am coming to terms with that so that I can live and hopefully start new. From here on I hope to live in increasing gratitude towards the nation that has given me life and the people who live in it. So this is goodbye.

reply to post by 33vibe


Farewell and enjoy your adventures in reality we'll still be here if you feel the need for an alternate view on the worlds events

Conspiracies do exist, however not out of every single incident...I think some people look for conspiracies where there are none, and create them out of nothing....it sounds like you were obsessed with this...but I am glad you feel you have healed your self or are moving forward with your life in a positive constructive way. I wish you luck! Life throws you curve balls, and it's all in how you handle them .... May you help the less fortunate and help guide those that need it!

You feel miserable so conspiracies don't exist.

Sorry dude but your state of mind is a part of a conspiracy!

Hey 33vibe, the occult can confuse and discombobulate you faster than anything else in my opinion, bullying in the outside world and inside world is alive and kicking, true friends are hard to find, apologizing for seeking the truth is something you should never do, and I wish you the best.

reply to post by 33vibe


You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave...