reply to post by network dude
Bestial passions I can get by. I'm 21 and I've only ever slept with 4 women. You tell me, lol. While that may have been a bit extravagant for an
example. You get my point.
However, this desire to understand myself, my fellow man, to learn to be a better person, govern myself with reason and logic while also creativity
and intuition. Studying aspects of the Occult/Theosophy invokes that kind of feeling in me.. I belief the information is important to my quest of
understanding, and as such I must understand that. I didn't even care much for Masonry until I just 'changed' three years ago..
I wasn't a very popular child in high school, and I was often picked on by a lot of the kids. When I graduated my senior year of Highschool, I
weighed in at roughly 245-250 lbs. It kinda brought me down mentally and emotionally during that time. I've learned a lot of life lessons the hard
way, growing up. My Mother had abandoned me as a child, and I was raised by my Father; who provided an appropriate living for me as a child, and took
tremendous care of me. I would suppose he is partially the reason I am the man I am today. He is probably the smartest man I know; but he did have to
sacrifice his time and body in order for me to have the happiness and childhood that he never had.
I always found a refuge in books as a young child and adored reading as much as possible. It was not uncommon for me to be chastised in class for
reading off-topic material. My favorite books growing up were Harry Potter; I was completely fascinated by Magick, and often dreamed of such a
fantastical world. Getting older, I was still immensely interested in the idea of Magick, just not in the concept of todays terms. We have so many
different branches of applicable Magick it is almost silly.
Anyways, when I graduated, something just clicked in my head that I didn't want to be the same version of myself that I hated.. It was almost as if I
rebelled against the current state of my being, and moved myself more in line with who I was as a child. I started researching medicine, biochemistry,
and nutrition ultimately, under Autodidacticism. Gradually, the more I learned about the body, my beliefs started straying towards spirituality,
because up until that time I had considered myself an agnostic. Something about the traditional judeo-christian-islamic concept of God, and stories of
the Bible just didn't fit into my head. Eventually, I was studying the system of Hinduism left to us by the (Indo)Aryans. This was when my interest
in the 'Third Eye' was renewed, after reading a book as a child by Lois Duncan of the same name. I quickly made the connection between the third
eye, and the Pineal gland; seat of the soul, and chamber of dreams.
Which eventually brings me on a crazy ride of synchronicity and weird, automatic, intuitive guesses that turned out true, even though I had no
possible way of knowing ahead of time that it would be. They were not conscious thoughts; but subconscious thoughts being automatically expressed.
Which raises questions to my opinions of such a thing. Eventually, one day I happened upon an article about Manly P Hall, the Swastika *The true Hindu
symbol; not Adolph's abomination*, Duality, and that ultimately the Pineal gland was the point where Heaven and Earth meet.
From that point, I was convinced that Freemasonry was no longer demon-worshipers, but were being demonized both on purpose but also through ignorance
of those who believed the disinformation spread to them. Which in context of other information I have learned, led me to believe that there were
people behind the scenes pulling the strings like so. I know overall Masonry, does not believe in any particular embodiment of evil, and that man has
both the potential to be both good and evil. While this may be true, this does not prevent people from creating a lifetime of evil deeds. Your entire
lifestyle and idea of duality must allow logically for the idea that if Freemasonry exists, so much some opposing organization with different motives.
I believe these are also people adept at Occultism, however have chosen to bend it to the left-hand path. These are the people I believe the
anti-masons have mixed up with you lot, and are also the same people responsible for the current state of corruption in the world. True, all of
humanity helped, but in our defense, they lied to them, and out of fear for our safety we believed the authority.
Now three years later, I am down to 170 lbs roughly, and have accumulated probably double the information I ever retained in school; and the most
important kind to boot. Well I know you guys didn't ask for nor did you expect all of this lifes story; but I figured it might help you get to know
me a bit more before you misjudged me. I may be young, and I may be wrong in some things I believe, but at least I am trying to learn, and learn
properly. Expectations aside, I would love to be a Mason, so that I can experience, not theorize, about the Craft, and gain a first-hand idea of what
everything is really about. If I believe nothing else, I believe it can do nothing but help me a better person overall, and that's all I'm asking
for from it; no illusions of grandeur. The corruption, organized or not, I wish to change, and leave a mark on humanity when I die, so that they
continue to push onward for unity, or at least a much better chance...
Thank you all for reading, or not; it's all up to you.....