Thanks for being here

ATS Family

My wife and I have been having relationship problems. Job related relationship problems.

I've been riding vessels in the Gulf of Mexico since I have got out the service. I busted my ass off to provide for me, my wife, and our children. I've worked my way up from mopping galley floors to the 2nd cpt. Of an offshore supply vessel. I'm gone for 28 days and home for 14 days, but the money makes us comfortable and we don't have to struggle anymore.

She has been complaining she can't handle the stress of our newborn and me being gone. She has repeated over and over again that she will kill herself. Last night she finally took a fatal overdose of medicine she has.

Is it really my fault? I just wanted them to have the best lifee possible. Was me being gone really why she killed herself. I gabe everything I had.

What the #. Im sorry for trying to give my family the best life possible.

I won't be posting for a while. See ya when I'm ready.

reply to post by Isittruee


I'm so sorry..

You did the best you could, what you thought you needed and must. You should not feel guilty.

So many fail to do so much, and I respect you for working and trying so hard.

Please don't blame yourself. She was crying out for help, and could have gotten it. That's not your fault.

I'm so sorry for you and the baby.

Edit: Retracted

my deepest apologies and sympathies to you...

Holy crap !

I wasn't expecting to read that

Isitrue,

Firstly my heartfelt condolences, and sorrow go out
to you.

Secondly junior is A No.1 priority now

Thirdly NO it wasn't your fault, could have been severe
post natal depression.

You're angry, confused and no doubt in shock. Nothing
I can say here will change that. Just know we will
be here for you as and when you feel you need a crutch
or a rant or a bloody good cry.

Feel free to u2u me anytime if you need to vent, I
won't get angry or all judgemental on you.

Just be here for you my friend

Cody

Akragon
reply to post by Isittruee

 

I don't know what to make of this...

It couldn't have been your fault IF she was willing to leave the children you have...

my deepest apologies and sympathies to you...

but if this is some sort of joke it isn't funny...

Im sorry for being cold but theres a lot of clowns on net forums that post things like this just for kicks...

Though im truly sorry if my assumption is wrong

Akra,

I do not think that you needed to post what you had written... i find your words a little harsh... (although understood and respected!)... as in times of great hardship words such as yours cannot or maybe not the best solution when a person requires a good shoulder to lean upon... especially on a web forum such as ours with members that are capable of having a little or much empathy... (This is my own personal opinion of course)... End of comment.

Isitruee... The only words that i can express to you in this time of great loss, sadness and frustration are the following words (i hate to use the word "words") but maybe i should say emotions and sentiments...?

Stay strong... do not give up... THINK OF YOUR CHILDREN FIRST AS WELL AS YOURSELF AND CLOSEST LOVED ONES FIRST....

Maybe this is the deeply saddening message that says "Why not give up what you are doing right now and come back to your kids before more damage is done"

I do not think that you need to blame yourself... the question is not about how you acted... you have/are did/doing your best to create a stable family structure in the way that you only know the best to do so...

You cannot and SHOULD not be blamed for what you think is best for your family... You have and will do/did your best...

I will not judge you as some ignorant and insensible people (might even say TROLLS) might do so here.

Kindest respects

Rodinus

Edited to add :

As Cody said too, if you need someone to talk to, just use the U2U function... one of us (no matter who we are are there to talk if need be)

Please do not blame yourself!
Like someone else said...it sounds like post partum depression.
A mother would never leave her children behind,
unless she wasn't in the right frame of mind.
Thankfully she didn't take the newborn with her.
I'm remembering so many stories that made the news.

Take time to grieve & bond with the baby.
Then decide what's best for both of you.
Don't rush into anything.
Prayers for you & your family!!!
WOQ

Rodinus

Akragon
reply to post by Isittruee

 

I don't know what to make of this...

It couldn't have been your fault IF she was willing to leave the children you have...

my deepest apologies and sympathies to you...

but if this is some sort of joke it isn't funny...

Im sorry for being cold but theres a lot of clowns on net forums that post things like this just for kicks...

Though im truly sorry if my assumption is wrong

Akra,

I do not think that you needed to post what you had written... i find your words a little harsh... (although understood and respected!)... as in times of great hardship words such as yours cannot or maybe not the best solution when a person requires a good shoulder to lean upon... especially on a web forum such as ours with members that are capable of having a little or much empathy... (This is my own personal opinion of course)... End of comment.

Isitruee... The only words that i can express to you in this time of great loss, sadness and frustration are the following words (i hate to use the word "words") but maybe i should say emotions and sentiments...?

Stay strong... do not give up... THINK OF YOUR CHILDREN FIRST AS WELL AS YOURSELF AND CLOSEST LOVED ONES FIRST....

Maybe this is the deeply saddening message that says "Why not give up what you are doing right now and come back to your kids before more damage is done"

I do not think that you need to blame yourself... the question is not about how you acted... you have/are did/doing your best to create a stable family structure in the way that you only know the best to do so...

You cannot and SHOULD not be blamed for what you think is best for your family... You have and will do/did your best...

I will not judge you as some ignorant and insensible people (might even say TROLLS) might do so here.

Kindest respects

Rodinus

Edited to add :

As Cody said too, if you need someone to talk to, just use the U2U function... one of us (no matter who we are are there to talk if need be)

edit on 16-10-2013 by Rodinus because: Phrase added

I agree it was uncalled for... which is why I retracted said statement which you graciously reiterated... thanks

I'll just Stfu... and deal with feeling like an ass

reply to post by Akragon


Ark,

We are all human and certainly not robots...

Don't feel like an ass... the fact that you answered to isitruee shows that you care...

Many other people would have just skipped over this thread as they are too tied up in their trivial and material and stupid world (mostly politically orientated within their own country...) to notice or realise that behind each and every keyboard there is actually a living person with a head, two arms and two legs who also has/have other issues).

Kindest respects

rodinus

reply to post by Isittruee


Sorry to hear about your wife.

Stop blaming yourself.

What happened is NOT your fault. She made a decision and took an action, NOT you.

I wish you the best through this excruciatingly difficult time.

Dark Ghost
reply to post by Isittruee

 

Sorry to hear about your wife.

Stop blaming yourself.

What happened is NOT your fault. She made a decision and took an action, NOT you.

I wish you the best through this excruciatingly difficult time.

2d. My soul is torn in your loss.

reply to post by Isittruee


my sympathies to you for your loss but now you will need to be strong for your family i have worked on oil rigs and know how hard they are on relationships .

men and women are wired different how can we understand their blues after birth i have never had children of my own for this reason as i too spent most of my life working away so i can only imagine your pain .

but i hope that you have a close family and friends to call on in your time of need

You did the very best for your family and are not to blame in any way.

My deepest sympathies. Wishing you the strength and courage to move forward.

[SNIP]

OP, I don't know what was going on between you two, or what you discussed when you were home each time. But from the little bit you've told us, this woman was afraid, knew she had problems, and was crying out to you for help the only way she knew how.

I commend you for sacrificing the great amount of time you have for your family. It's obvious you care about them. But in this case, what they needed the most was not money. They needed you. She needed you.

I don't really know enough about your situation to speak past extrapolation, at this point. I do know, given the tiny bit of info I have. Blaming yourself, or her, does no one any good. Especially your children.

I'm sorry about your loss. That's all that needs to be said.

[SNIP]

Crap. Do not really know what to say but sorry for your loss.