Finally, a place I can start a thread...

Despite graduating with a degree in EE and a minor in comp sci., I apparently struggle starting a thread anywhere but here. Perhaps I missed some critical instructions at some juncture (or am under a requisite number of posts).

Either way my aim here is simple: I simply had a strange dream and was trying to get some feedback on its possible significance. The only reason I felt compelled to post on something as mundane as a dream is because in it I read a word, in Latin, and, I do not read or speak Latin - I have not had any courses in it, and while I do speak latin-based languages, the word I encountered is one I am positive I have never read before.

The word was : occidat.

The reason this word concerns me is both because of its context in the dream, and because, upon perusing Vulgate translations of the Bible, I see that it occurs in several places. I'm increasingly terrified of the possible ominous significance of the word.

Some context in my own life: I've been struggling in my relationship with my abusive father, who wants, yet again "a second chance" for us to "restart" our relationship, despite his inability to grow past his destructive behavioral tendencies - and at the same time I am struggling with my own social issues, but of paramount importance my religious faith. I recently made the comment to our church group the prior week "you know if God wants me to believe in him more fully, rather than having me read the Bible, I'd like some direct communication, you know, if he could just spell it out for me." Now that the writing appears to be on the 'mental' wall I've been increasingly afraid of the possible message. I can't recall ever dreaming of a particular word, or ever reading in a dream.

The dream itself was rather loosely strung together. It started in a French castle with all of my family and other people there. In the cellar of this castle there was a green plant/fungal growth growing - all the way to the top of the cellar. People thought it were innocuous, but actually a child fell in it and he came out covered in slime, and his behavior deteriorated until he behaved somewhat more like a cannibal / not a human and he began contaminating others. They all seemed very playful but there was something sinister to them, and so I ran into a closet and hid there. My aunt sarcastically asked if I were afraid and why I was taking so long changing in there. I replied that I was not afraid, I just wanted to look perfect that is all. Ultimately I opened the door to the closet and ran down to the ocean where the beach was fomenting with foam. On the shores was a slightly more crippled looking version of a boy I knew about a decade ago, but who was very influential on me; I have always wondered if he were possessed by the devil. Here, his soul was more fully disembodied from his original image, and he looked smaller and more sinister - and he sarcastically asked me if I were "afraid" of his "video game". I don't play video games, to be clear. I told him no, not entirely sure what he was talking about. But I desperately wanted to believe the increasingly violent behavior of the people in the castle (they seemed to be tearing each other apart and losing their minds) - was some video game instead of reality, and that hope made me engage in this conversation with this "man"; he held out a small rectangular DVD case with the word Vol and 5 glowing in bright, unique text - almost like Roman numerals the V was. It glowed on black velvet. He called it Volcan 5, but it was very clearly spelled Vol - Volcan - not Vul, so this is confusing retrospectively. I placed my hand on it and was able to watch it, without going back to the castle, by closing my eyes.

It is in the introductory scene that this word appeared. There was a scientist underground somewhere, and she raced through a tunnel to another, superior scientists' underground office. She said she had obtained a key piece of information, and she held up this cloth that was light and delicate as spiderweb - pure white - translucent - with the tiniest beads in it. She held this cloth up to an artificial light and the scientist read it for her, although for the life of me I cannot hear the scientist say the word - I just read it in the light with my own eyes. The word was "occidat" and the elder scientist woman asked the younger one what she meant by this cloth. She said it held the key to the unraveling of man, and was discovered to be 3,000 years old and prophetic. The elder scientist dismissed the younger one verbally saying her suggestion was ludicrous, but, there was an edge of fear in her voice. It was clear to all present she dismissed it because she did not want to believe what it said. The younger scientist implored that we were running out of time, and at that point the DVD zoomed to the cellar where the fungal/green plant growth was occurring. I pulled away from the DVD and awoke at that moment, with fear.

I then discussed this dream with my husband. After much searching we found an interesting place this word occurred - in something called the Vulgate translation of the Bible. Two passages in which it is featured are in Job where it describes that "when plague causes the death of man, he mocks the innocent" and also another passage, which says "do not let the sun go down on your anger". My husband thinks the dream was somehow saying that I should remedy things with my father, but the former passage is also ominous.

I've spent a lot of the day in terror of this dream. What do you think it means?

alicek
Perhaps I missed some critical instructions at some juncture (or am under a requisite number of posts).

You are correct. You need 20 posts to start a thread anywhere but the Introduction forum. Other than that, welcome to ATS.

Hi,
Volcan 5 is almost Vulgate. That's similar enough. You asked for some kind of sign. I don't know. I can't remember dreams too good. That was a strange dream. I would concentrate on the 2nd translations meaning to yourself. Good luck to you!

reply to post by alicek


Alice,

Hi. First of all welcome to ATS. I hope you find what you are
looking for here... as a relatively new person, and I'd like to
think a relatively impartial observer, I think it's fair to say,
that the tension between people who are religious and those
who are not religious, and between 'fringe' and 'traditional'
views can get downright hurtful at times. So please guard
your heart.

I'm highly curious about whether your father has ever been
accused of sexual abuse of a relative or child. Might I also
surmise that faith was a major part of your childhood, but
that your father or others didn't necessarily 'walk the talk'.

If I'm wrong just let me know that I'm wrong. I'm not the
amazing kreskin.

Have you considered the possibility that a loving god does
not create people, and before the beginning of the world,
before anyone had done good or evil, decided to send
the great majority of humans to hell? A lot of faiths
teach that.. and there is a passage in the book of Isaiah
which people use to promote that idea.

Have you ever heard of 'cognitive dissonance' ? I'm
wondering if this very elaborate cookie crumb trail
you've left yourself, is due to the fact you have some
deep repressed fears in you, that you are not quite
willing to admit to yourself at this time.

Again, I'm not the amazing kreskin. I'm just trying to
give you a loving response.

Just think on those things. PM me if you wish.

Love,

KPB

reply to post by Mikeultra


Thank you for taking the time to reply; I am trying to focus on the 2nd translation. I guess when I was praying for a more direct communication with God, I presupposed that would be inherently a joyous experience. I guess, in conversations with people about the Bible, I have made it somewhat known that I highly suspected the authors corrupted the messages they received (if truly they received them) - for personal gain and profit; the experience has made me self reflect a bit in that, I realize if one truly felt God were communicating with them, especially if that communication were not all together positive, retrospectively one would probably be making damn sure whatever they were writing were just about as exact as a person could get it. Of course this is presupposing an actual communication and not insanity.

But it has made me wonder; the New Testament seems so rife with love and acceptance, it's difficult to imagine whether, as in Prometheus, if we were created by a God who perhaps is no longer so fond of us.

But that is a thought I cannot hold with any gravity because, it would drive me to despair.

One of the parents at my church group, when trying to inform me that every child is still a fallen child, no matter how angelic - related a personal story of their anguish seeing their child lie to them for some short-term gain (a cookie). "We would see her glance - slyly looking at us - and we could see with great pain her thoughts: are Mommy and Daddy looking? Can I take this even though they told me not to? And we want to scream across the room 'trust us, just trust us, we want what's best for you' - and it hurts that she feels she has to lie to us, it hurts that even in this small thing, she displays the same behavior that we so often do in greater things, it hurts and it helps us see what God must feel when we turn away from Him."

It was really a perspective I had never heard - in such a first person manner. I come back to this small story over and over again. My son is moving past his pure angelic behavior and sometimes throws tantrums; with desperation I try to soothe him and help him see there is no need to scream and yell, and sometimes I just want to sob "where is my baby angel?" But I commit in my heart to show him an over-abundance of love.

I wonder when I hold him, am I just holding him as I wish I were held myself? I never want him to wonder "have I been so bad my parents have turned away from me, cast me out of their circle of light." And then I think, isn't it the greatest insult to God, supposing a fundamentally kind God, to recoil here in fear and to think that nothing but suffering is slated to come down the pipeline; wouldn't it be hurtful, infinitely hurtful for a parent to hear, that their child not only fears them, but is hiding from them, doesn't trust them, and imagines malevolence towards them. Can there ever be any more depressing a statement to hear through any medium from a child?

Just thoughts that spiral and fall through the dark abyss of my lonely mind.