Oh lord... why me??

3NL1GHT3N3D1
reply to post by spartacus699

 

Stop believing in what exactly? God? I didn't stop believing in God, I just dropped Christianity's version of God. I am no atheist, in fact I'd say I have an even stronger belief in God since unconverting from Christianity.

So what's your version of God then???

reply to post by spartacus699


You name it, it's a part of God. Anything you can think of, including your thoughts themselves.

3NL1GHT3N3D1
reply to post by spartacus699

 

You name it, it's a part of God. Anything you can think of, including your thoughts themselves.

I thought that might be the case once, but then I thought, well the builder might not be the materials. He might have just made the materials, but isn't necessarily in all the atoms. But he still likely is omnipresent. But we don't even know what reality is yet. We look at it as a hard physical cause and effect world but science is showing it's not at all, or is there any out there out there. I don't think it's a good idea to go trying to formulate your own God in your mind. I'd just pray about it if you have doubts.

reply to post by WarminIndy

He needs to be honest with her upfront. And because he wasn't, he abused her naivete then comes on here to brag about a perhaps impending sexual conquest, makes him a sexual predator.

WOW. Just....wow.

He HAS been honest with her, and here you go again deciding what people are thinking, meaning, doing, implying, etc.

You need to STOP doing that!! For heaven's sake - it's the 21st century, and this young lady is VERY likely to have already engaged in sexual activity.

However, I agree with you that she is YOUNG - she's still emotionally a "kid".

reply to post by Akragon


My son is 22, and he is still in adolescence. SO IS THIS GIRL. THAT is why I would wonder what YOU see in her in the first place - doesn't seem to have much going on between the ears, and a guy like YOU would be wasting himself on her. Is she a giggler; in college (or fresh out)? Is she working? I spent many a weekend with girls that age while daughter was away at college. They are silly, and don't have much "life experience."

What are her hopes, goals, plans (if any)? Where does she see herself in 5 years, 10 years; 15 or 20 years?

I say, FIND SOMEONE ELSE, but only because I KNOW (from my profession AND experience) that youths aren't "grown-ups" developmentally until at LEAST 25. (For guys it's often more like ...erm, YOUR age...)

If she's not aware of that fact - that she is still an adolescent - then she's got THREE major traits that make her an inappropriate choice.

When my daughter was 22, she called the guys in college "boys." I can understand a smart, open-minded girl being interested in a smart, funny older guy - it's flattering, makes a girl feel all grown up and important.

But seriously; how much mentally do you have in common with her? I predict she will become BORING for you, in short order...if she hasn't already. (I'm only on page 2 of the thread).

Oh, and BTW, FlyersFan is spot on;
Bad boy syndrome is very real; I suffer from it myself. Fortunately I found a "bad boy" (literally The Leader of the Pack) who was deep down a romantic; listens to Abba, loves kitties, but will kick the crap out of anyone who is less than civil to me.

I just wonder, Akra, although she may be cute as a button, fun and energetic, do some CAREFUL recon on her before you jump in. She might be a psycho.

Or not.

Good luck!!

WarminIndy
He needs to be honest with her upfront.

He's being more honest than you are. You lied here multiple times and when caught, you refused to man up and admit the lies. However, the author of this thread has been very honest with the woman he's talking to and she knows exactly where he stands on religion. The agnostic/atheist is more honest than the uber-religious person ... at least based on that comparison. Now isn't that interesting ...

wildtimes
reply to post by WarminIndy

 

He needs to be honest with her upfront. And because he wasn't, he abused her naivete then comes on here to brag about a perhaps impending sexual conquest, makes him a sexual predator.

WOW. Just....wow.

He HAS been honest with her, and here you go again deciding what people are thinking, meaning, doing, implying, etc.

You need to STOP doing that!! For heaven's sake - it's the 21st century, and this young lady is VERY likely to have already engaged in sexual activity.

However, I agree with you that she is YOUNG - she's still emotionally a "kid".

reply to post by Akragon

 

My son is 22, and he is still in adolescence. SO IS THIS GIRL. THAT is why I would wonder what YOU see in her in the first place - doesn't seem to have much going on between the ears, and a guy like YOU would be wasting himself on her. Is she a giggler; in college (or fresh out)? Is she working? I spent many a weekend with girls that age while daughter was away at college. They are silly, and don't have much "life experience."

What are her hopes, goals, plans (if any)? Where does she see herself in 5 years, 10 years; 15 or 20 years?

I say, FIND SOMEONE ELSE, but only because I KNOW (from my profession AND experience) that youths aren't "grown-ups" developmentally until at LEAST 25. (For guys it's often more like ...erm, YOUR age...)

If she's not aware of that fact - that she is still an adolescent - then she's got THREE major traits that make her an inappropriate choice.

When my daughter was 22, she called the guys in college "boys." I can understand a smart, open-minded girl being interested in a smart, funny older guy - it's flattering, makes a girl feel all grown up and important.

But seriously; how much mentally do you have in common with her? I predict she will become BORING for you, in short order...if she hasn't already. (I'm only on page 2 of the thread).

Oh, and BTW, FlyersFan is spot on;
Bad boy syndrome is very real; I suffer from it myself. Fortunately I found a "bad boy" (literally The Leader of the Pack) who was deep down a romantic; listens to Abba, loves kitties, but will kick the crap out of anyone who is less than civil to me.

I just wonder, Akra, although she may be cute as a button, fun and energetic, do some CAREFUL recon on her before you jump in. She might be a psycho.

Or not.

Good luck!!

edit on 10/5/13 by wildtimes because: (no reason given)

Im not a "bad boy" my dear... admittedly I was in my past but that is long behind me... I know all her hopes and dreams, or at least most of them... and found out recently that she has not had "relations" so to speak...

I'm more then happy to wait for as long as it takes... but again let me remind everyone I am not dating this girl... we're still only talking... I don't even see her, but I have some pictures now at least.

She wants to be married... she wants children in the near future... both of which would have sent me running for the door in the past... but now I can only smile and wonder...

shes very intelligent just so you know... shes just not as "well read" on her own religion as I happen to be...

She grew up in a religious house hold, and believes everything shes been taught... and I have no problem with that... as I've said, I accept her for who she is... and on the plus side, since its my personal favorite topic, we always have something to chat about... even though she gets really mad when I point out certain things, she doesn't hold it against me for some reason... she knows I smoke, and drink... and shes still talking to me...

i'll keep you guys updated

reply to post by Akragon

Im not a "bad boy" my dear... admittedly I was in my past but that is long behind me... I know all her hopes and dreams, or at least most of them...

You think you know all her hopes and dreams....but, do you know TRULY what she is "after" in this interaction between the two of y ou?

And if you know her hopes and dreams, why are you interested in her, my friend?? Is she a "wise, foresight" kinda gal, or a "sheltered, I had helicopter parents'" kinda gal?

I'm honestly interested in knowing the answers to these questions.

The bottom line, though....is: "BE NICE".

Love ya, bro!


Oh, and...for the record here. My husband is 12 years younger than I am...and it works just fine. But I'm in my 50s, and he's in his 40s.....and we just celebrated our 7th anniversary on Monday!

reply to post by wildtimes

You think you know all her hopes and dreams....do you know what she is "after" in this interaction?

I have no idea... but she did mention she wanted to be married

And if you know her hopes and dreams, why are you interested in her?

Once upon a time I literally asked God to bless me with an angel... I had no idea I would get my wish, and im still sceptical... even a little scared because she is EXACTLY what I asked for and more...

That's why Im keeping my distance... I wonder how it could be possible, but I trust God... IF its meant to be then it will be...

Is she a foresight kinda gal, or a 'sheltered, I had helicopter parents' kinda gal?

A bit sheltered I believe...

Oh, and...for the record here. My husband is 12 years younger than I am...and it works just fine. But I'm in my 50s, and he's in his 40s.....

So it can work... good to know

reply to post by Akragon

So it can work... good to know

Yep. It can work. .... If both parties have experienced 'dysfunctional' relationships, and KNOW WHAT THEY ARE LOOKING FOR, as well as what they are doing and OWN their own responsibility for the previous 'failures'...

My husband stayed a bachelor until 36 (I am his first wife)....I am a 4th-time 'bride'. I consider myself a "Serial Bride." Took me a LONG TIME, and several marriages, to figure out what would work for me to stay in a relationship. So far, we've made it past "the 7-year-ache" (or "itch", however you want to phrase it).......

my two wonderful kids were born of the first marriage (which happened when I was 27). Their dad and I, even after we divorced (and he's only 2 years younger than I am), co-parented VERY effectively...and still are doing so....
but it takes a LOT of work.
A LOT of compromise and understanding, tolerance and communication.....

nevertheless, I hope for you all GOOD THINGS, and BRIGHTEST BLESSINGS!

reply to post by Akragon


I am writing to you as a spiritual not religious woman married to a fundamentalist for 15 years. If you really love this person, I believe you should choose your battles and not try to change her whole belief system at once. In my case, I am proud to say I finnally convinced him that his church congregation was not the ONLY people going to heaven.
I couldnt live with him thinking the rest of the world, besides his church, and me, were going to hell! Good luck with that!

LoriRNC
reply to post by Akragon

 

I am writing to you as a spiritual not religious woman married to a fundamentalist for 15 years. If you really love this person, I believe you should choose your battles and not try to change her whole belief system at once. In my case, I am proud to say I finnally convinced him that his church congregation was not the ONLY people going to heaven.
I couldnt live with him thinking the rest of the world, besides his church, and me, were going to hell! Good luck with that!

thank you for your reply and welcome to ATS... I hope you stay a while, you seem to be quite the level headed person... we need more people like that around here as of late.

Im not sure how much you've read of this thread, but I have stated that I dislike the word love when it comes to the opposite sex... I don't use it...

but...

This woman stirs feelings I've never experienced before... and at this point we're not even seeing each other, just talking... texting to be exact... but I am very patient.

I intend to let things play out as they happen, I always pick my battles... there is a time and place for everything... and im definitely not pushing anything, I let her decide what she wants... im just along for the ride at the moment, but things change...

We shall see what happens...

UPDATE

We've been talking every single day since I got her number... literally hundreds of texts a day...

As it stands she is still afraid to tell her family about me... but as of last night she accepted the "girlfriend" title happily... but we will remain secret until she works up the courage to let her family know.

I am completely and utterly entranced by her... "Falling for her" is just not the appropriate way to describe how I feel... She rocks my world...

I don't even have the words to describe my feelings about her...

I believe I have found my soul mate, if such a thing exists...

God help me...

Akragon
I believe I have found my soul mate, if such a thing exists…

They do exist.

I met mine at age 42, lost her at age 46, but every day since she died has been a confirmation that soul mates do exist.

God help me...

He shall

reply to post by Akragon

Originally posted by Akragon
I've recently run into a little problem in my life... For those who know me... You should find this quite amusing...

Oh Yeah, it’s amusing alright LOL

Although it doesn’t take much, to set me off…

Originally posted by Akragon
I was going to put this in the relationship forum, but since there is no relationship as it stands... this will do..

NO, this is the right place for it, because I practically live in the FRT section lol

Originally posted by Akragon
Recently I've found myself very attracted to someone... but...

She is a hardcore fundamentalist Christian!!

Well your in luck, I’ve been seen, bought the T –Shirt and am currently in the process of producing the Movie.

Originally posted by Akragon
We talk about the bible all the time, and some of the answers she comes up with are just off the wall...

Naturally lol

Originally posted by Akragon
When she has nothing to say about my... lets call it my corrections about her faith... her best answer is "I don't have all the answers, so we should just trust in Gods word"

Seriously though – I was in a similar predicament about 5 years ago, when I was looking into Christianity. I started to attend a church, although back then, I was atheist and didn’t have my current beliefs.

Plus the girl was more crazy about me, than I was about her…but at that time because I couldn’t come to believe in God, I decided to leave the church, and I figured the best move, was not to pursue the girl, because of religious differences etc…

Originally posted by Akragon
*bangs head on the wall*

I don't know what to do about this chicky... Im crazy about her... but shes just crazy!! LOL

Now im not one to ask for advice about the dating world... Im pretty proficient in that area... but this girl is driving me a little insane...

She believes the bible is inerrant... Gods perfect word... and no matter what I tell her, or show her... shes entirely convinced of what she's been taught...

I will say this though, it’s always going to be difficult as time goes on, partly because of your unique religious position towards Christianity etc…Things may seem like bliss now, but those differences are going to raise there ugly heads, further down the line.

Originally posted by Akragon
She even invited me to come to her church for "sunday" worship... *facepalm*

Have to admit, I never really pictured you sitting in a Church pulpit, on a Sunday afternoon lol

Originally posted by Akragon
So should I just give up whilst I still have my sanity... or try to pursue this issue and possibly drive myself to the grave in my attempt?

I think only you can decide, but I know from past experience that it’s difficult to ignore your own convictions, in terms of what you believe in. But as the scriptures say “all things are possible with God”, so maybe this is one of those “love concurs all” type deals.

Good luck Buddy…

- JC

reply to post by Joecroft


Thank you my friend... this is definitely getting interesting to say the least.

I will be making several theads in the future based on what i'm dealing with here...

reply to post by Akragon


And how it is now? Do U still love her? Was it love from first sight or in another way?

And did her family accept the fact U love her?

AnnieWolf19
reply to post by Akragon

 

And how it is now? Do U still love her? Was it love from first sight or in another way?

And did her family accept the fact U love her?

Im very much in love with her, and it was pretty much love from first Talk...

First time I saw her I thought she was very cute, but she was very shy, and wouldn't even say hello...

I was in the position where I had the chance to work with her one evening... and everything went from that day.

And her family does not accept me at all, or the fact that she loves me as much as I love her...

ALL of them have tried to talk her into leaving me, but she won't...

She's lied about seeing me, she told them we broke up so she wouldn't have to face them anymore...

Though just recently she told them we're still dating... Its been 6 months

She is still hopeing I will come to see her beliefs, and I am still hopeing she will see the reality of "the good book"

We don't usually talk about religion anymore, but usually about once a month we get into it...

She can't show me anything I don't already know... and she won't even look at what I could show her

SO it continues on...

reply to post by Akragon



It's like a love from the movie "A Walk to Remember" with Mandy Moore and Shane West.

Don't U think sometimes that maybe U could find another woman, who does not care that much about the Bible and make yourself free from relationship like that...as U said earlier "there is lots of fishes in the ocean".

I guess she does not feel comfortably with the fact that she is not sincere with her parents.

But of course I understand love is beyond everything and it can't be explain by words.

What is so special about her, what U can not find in the ocean full of fishes?

a reply to: Akragon

Remind her that she is to obey her husband in all things and not to speak as the spiritual head of the family so, if you were to get married, problem solved.

I know, it's a paradox but she should be used to paradoxes by now.

a reply to: Akragon

Akragon,

Couples who go into marriage, each spiritually believing something different or one of them not at all have a rough time. And doesn't help their children either. A term for it, "unevenly yoked." I know there are exceptions but very
few.

Here's the Gospel verse:

2 Cor 6:14-15
Bear NOT the yoke with unbelievers. For what participation hath justice with injustice? Or what fellowship hath light with darkness? [15] And what concord hath Christ with Belial? Or what part hath the faithful with the unbeliever?

Pray, ask Our Lord from your heart to help you believe in Him. He will give you the grace.
I say this a lot to help, the miracles (famous science tested too), the mystical
point to Christ through the last 2000 years!

I will offer a rosary for your intention.