Chickpeas: Slave-Food of the Monument Lords!

I awake with a start, it's 2:43 a.m. and I need chickpeas. It started to settle in, a couple of weeks ago, I realized as I was munching my way through a bag of wasabi-ranch-dusted dried garbanzos, that I had an obsession with chickpeas that goes back to my childhood.

I know when it happened, it was when I was 8. I was eating them out of a strainer that was still in the sink just after the beige little beans had been rinsed; I was told that it was what the ancient Egyptians ate, and I asked, "You mean the ones that made the pyramids?", "Yes", I was told, "The ones that made the pyramids". It was on, right then, with me and the chickpea.

I mean, my God!, look at the things...



How can you not want to start shoveling that in? I would have to be restrained to keep from getting 2nd degree burns. They are the single yummiest food-stuff to me, I want them more than a steak. So I started just a few days ago to try and figure out why. Why? Why has this legume been such a prominent feature of my life?

I have known for a long time that the chickpea, a.k.a. the garbanzo bean was a world-spanning bean, a foodstuff that could be found in some the greatest culinary creations from around the world, I knew I would find it as a central source of nutrition to the ancient Egyptians, but I really had no idea just how influential my delicious little bean had been. The chickpea, as it was named by the French in the early 18th century, has been a singular force for human nutrition for nearly 7500 years. The antiquity of the tasty little treats can be easily demonstrated by the fact that there is still an ongoing argument between Arabs and Jews over which of them created the falafel, a dish made from fried mashed chickpeas.



Then I started to look at the nutritional content. It's stunning, no wonder my muscles feel better toned and I am generally more alert when eating a lot of chickpeas, the things are full of protein and zinc. They are full of amino acids, and a complete protein can be had easily by pairing the chickpeas with, say, almonds. They have plenty of potassium in them, too, but most importantly they are a powerful source of zinc, which supports the production of testosterone, which has obvious effects on breeding more little garbanzo-slaves.

And then it struck me! What would be the perfect food to feed to pyramid slaves!? That's right, garbanzos!, lots of garbanzos; and bread, and beer. And not just the pyramid builder's in Egypt, but also the pyramid builders in Mexico; the most ancient of the chickpeas, the desi, has been found to have been cultivated in ancient Mexico. Something cheap, that can be grown in abundance, that has a nearly ideal nutritional profile, that can be prepared easily and transformed into breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert. That's what you need if you are going to feed a hungry slave army as they build your arcane earthworks and monuments.



As this sunk in, it dawned on me that maybe I should check to see what was happening with the chickpea in America. I should have been expecting nothing less. What else would be the perfect food to feed to a new army of monument-slaves, slaving away in the silica-mines, creating digital monuments? Nothing else but the chickpea could suffice.

Although, sabra, the world's mightiest wielder of the garbanzo, could not be reached for comment as of the linked article*, American sales of hummus are believed to have increased by 18% in 2013. 10,000 more metric tons of chickpeas were grown in 2011 as were produced in 2010. Sabra has announced an $86 million expansion of their facilities. The bean has landed. We are all, apparently, on the bean, and more than 70% of us bought some chickpea preparation last year, probably hummus. I bet the tahini guys are happy too as American farmers strive to grow the chickpea and take advantage of the growing demand for chickpeas; they went up $0.10 a pound just last year.

*Hummus Is Conquering America

So, looks like it's not just me that's a slave to the little chickpea, it's spreading, to you, and you, and you too! We will all kneel to the monument-lords, and their tasty slave-foods as we hammer out a livelihood and create their monumental earthworks. It's the old switcheroo! They baited us in with the tasty cow-steaks and dairy-products, and now that they've got us, it's the switch-up. Good thing I was vegetarian for years, I could live, and generally do, on the little things.

Nom! Nom!, ATS. Happy Sunday.



Chickpea

Mmmm....hummus

Maybe that's why the chickpea is a worldwide fixture - we've already had a one-world government at some point in the ancient past & they stuffed all us minions with chick peas & put us to work...I'd say it sounds plausible

ETA:
They do say history repeats itself don't they...hmmm

reply to post by Bybyots

What an awesome thread...so well written...great pics...lots of history and nutri facts...Loved reading this, and I always heap those garbanzo beans on my salad...they have a great texture and a mild taste that adds to the other ingredients...I will have to find other ways to fix them now...


S&F

reply to post by Bybyots


Yum, yum, yummy...give me some hummus! Chickpeas are one of my favorite foods too; although I am not a vegetarian I do like a lot of vegetarian recipes.

Good thread...now I am hungry!

I like chicks, and I like peas.
and I like Chickpeas.

If they are at a salad bar, they get their own pile on my plate.
And at my house. There's always a hummus among us.
Hummus and tomato sandwiches. mmhmm

• Chickpeas
  
• Chopped red onions
  
• Dried red chillies broken into 1/4" segments
  
• Dried, ground red chilli flakes
  
• Chopped coconut meat (cubes about 1/4" square)
  
• 'Maldive fish' (sun-dried, cured tuna flakes; try a Maldivian, South Indian or Sri Lankan grocer)

Soak the chickpeas in salted water as usual. Leave them till they're quite soft but not mushy.

Sautee the onions in a little oil. Add the chickpeas. (Use mustard-seed oil if you have it. If you don't, go for a flavourless oil, low in cholesterol. Butter and olive oil are not recommended.)

Sprinkle on the other ingredients: a pinch each of tuna and chillie flakes, about a quarter as much of cubed coconut by volume as you have chickpeas, slightly less of the dried chillies. Add salt if required.

Toss until golden. Do not brown. The chickpeas in the OP photo are a bit too well done.

Allow to cool (a little).

Eat with beer.

Expect fireworks. Also, the coconut will stick in your teeth.

Good to see they are catching on. When people ask me about what's a good survival food for SHTF these are on the list to reccomend. Hummus is one of my favs and make it once and a while,.

Looking further in to the chickpea, I have learned about Wawa Mum, which means "Good food, mom", and was created as an in country solution to infant and child hunger.

Wawa Mum

It's a really interesting plant, it produces, seed to harvest, in 100 days. Unfortunately, it does not grow everywhere, I somehow expected it to thrive everywhere, and it does not. Chickpeas prefer a Mediterranean climate.

Thanks to everyone for stopping by to post,

reply to post by Bybyots


WAWA is name of convience store in Pennsylvia/Southern NJ

WAWA is Deleware Indian name for large goose

Like going there for quick lunch

Unlike 7-11 most clerks are American, so dont have surly third world type glaring and throwing the change at you

Only problem is that sometimes overdo the tatoos - and thats just the women....!

I have always wanted to try these...but never have! What do they taste like? I imagine they might taste similar to navy beans (or white bean)? What are some good non- spicy recipes? I want to try them.

reply to post by Bybyots

Love me some chickpeas. The best way to cook them, and I haven't done this in many years, is to slow boil them for about four hours. You know they are done when you take one and it literally melts in your mouth. Ummmmmm.

Chickpeas are, as you said, one of the oldest and most used foods in the world. Healthy as a horse if you eat them regularly. Another treat from the Mideast is the spice zaatar, which I've used on almost all my really good food since '008.

If chickpeas are conquering America, Ronald McDonald must be the nation's god.

I freaking love chickpeas.

But their relatively high carb count keeps them off my diet.

Originally posted by bigfatfurrytexan
I freaking love chickpeas.

But their relatively high carb count keeps them off my diet.

I must disagree, as even on diets I don't think people should neglect healthy foods. It's too easy to lose weight by starving the body of what it craves and then loves. Then again, a vegan activist told a group meeting that he had lived on one cantaloupe a day for almost a year and that it held everything needed to sustain the human body. I have no idea if this is even close to true, but it made my appreciation of cantaloupes enlarge a little.

The activist became a vegetarian/vegan by doing this, he had previously eaten meat but no dairy.

Originally posted by StealthyKat
I have always wanted to try these...but never have! What do they taste like? I imagine they might taste similar to navy beans (or white bean)? What are some good non- spicy recipes? I want to try them.

Not that hard to find in cans (just heat the contents up and you have hot chickpeas, although many canned chickpeas are not as soft as I like them). You can get raw chickpeas and cook them up in a couple of hours in boiling water. The longer they stay in the softer they get, but you don't want to melt them. Spices added to the pot could be garlic, onions, turmeric, cumin, Italian seasoning, etc,, and then you can top them off once they're in the dish with olive oil, pepper, zaatar, nutritional yeast, etc. That's how I eat them, but I usually will microwave a couple things like two patties of vegan "chicken" or vegan burgers and then cut them up into the beans and mix them up in there before adding some of the spices and the toppings.

reply to post by StealthyKat

I have always wanted to try these...but never have! What do they taste like? I imagine they might taste similar to navy beans (or white bean)? What are some good non- spicy recipes?

Never?!

Oh my, gosh. well, the best thing to do is to probably go out and get yourself some nice hummus, it's not spicy at all, depending on how it is prepared. Generally hummus is not spicy. then get yourself some nice pita bread to go with it. I know this is not for everyone, but I like to use cooking tongs to roast my pita over a stove burner.

I envy you, that's cool that you get to try it for the first time.

reply to post by Astyanax


Astyanax, Son of Hector,

Thank you, that is a beautiful and primitive recipe (my favorite kind) and I am going to try it out. Fortunately I live in a very culturally diverse part of America, and there is a giant market nearby that caters to the southeast Asian community; I am hoping to find the Maldive Fish there. Otherwise do you think the standard Thai fish-flakes will suffice?

Thanks again for dropping that recipe, it's awesome.

reply to post by Aleister


I lost 200lbs eating a "paleo" diet.

Very few legumes/grains, loads of meat and veggie.

"healthy foods" mean different things to different people. i am highly carb sensitive, often getting heartburn from eating carb rich foods.

reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan


That totally sucks, I have the same issue with certain foods and, for one thing, have to remain relatively gluten-free if I don't want to cause an airborne toxic event.

Carbs give me # depending on how active I am, I am still of an age where if I get some bolus of food that is hanging around waiting for my stomach to decide what to do with it, I can pump out 20 or 30 standing squats or some dands and be ready to eat 45 minutes later.

Anyway, 27% carbohydrate is a lot of carbs, but if you can believe it only 1 cup, one tiny cup of chickpeas has more than half a day's fiber and 14 grams of protein. That's crazy. Not only that, but adding dates and nuts to the meal completes the proteins.

I know, though, as I write it I realize the suggestion is probably giving you indigestion.

reply to post by Aleister

Another treat from the Mideast is the spice zaatar, which I've used on almost all my really good food since '008.

You're hard core, Aleister, zaatar is another tasty primitive treat that I would eat lots of if it weren't for the fact that I am desperately allergic to certain sumacs and sensitive to all of them. last time I ate zaatar I had what felt like it could have been a bowel obstruction for more than a week.



It's a trip, right? The effects of globalization on our tummies?